Darn it, it might have moved to " buddy territory". I am sorry, it happens a lot. I find that most guys generally start hanging out with a girl because they are attracted somewhat, but if for whatever reason that attraction does not lead to anything, you quickly move to " cool girl" territory. I am not sure if that means he is not serious or whatever, not to me, but you know him best.

I am just going to bring up something that Jenava said a while back, when you had that wine party. From your behavior around him, she told you she did not even notice that you liked him. Perhaps he did not get any clues. It's okay to show interest. I dunno. perhaps you could be more overt, perhaps it is not even worth it. I dunno.

Ack, I had lots of hope for this guy... I'm sorry.

It's a bit hard to be overt if he won't even make an effort to hang out with you.

That is true.

Oh Janet. Wouldn't ya know. Sadly, use of the word "Christian" is one of the biggest tells. That's exactly why it's so off-putting to my way of thinking. And mind y'all, this is coming from a gal (me) who's second favourite topic of conversation is God and Christian theology.

ETA: Christianity used to be my #1, but I had to get off those boards and come here and talk fashion. And y'all know why. 'Nuff said.

I don't know why it puts my teeth on edge when people put Christian as a must-have descriptor. I don't have the same reaction with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, black, Hispanic, or even Vulcan. It's interesting to me that I feel that way. Must ponder it more.

Bottom line up front: he is a bit of a tosser. Maybe an Australian man will be refreshing after that. Why don't you do a bit of research while you are here. They won't put the Christian descriptor in the mix and he would have people running a mile. Not because he is Christian but because he puts it in the descriptor. He seems to spend a fair bit of time socialising or hiking on a Sunday. Do you think he might have said it to put you off? He has been pretty non-forward in a way. Sorry to be blunt but as the girls have said...next.

Well, he just posted on Facebook that he is going to the unveiling of the Sea Gals (Cheerleaders for Seattle Seahawks) calendar. Don't remember which book in the bible covers ogling cheerleaders.
Also he's going to a group hike that I'm also invited to, he joined last Wednesday and didn't say a peep to me. The hike is the day after the tubing trip. But the tubing trip returns pretty late to Seattle the night before. I almost want to skip tubing and just go hiking.

He sounds sort of like an odd duck and not nearly awesome enough for you, especially with the strange inconsistency with the cheerleaders and the lady in the movie who was cheating.

:3 Skip tubing and go hiking! And I wish I lived closer because I could look after your cat!

Ok, so this may be out of left field, but I was just watching Guy Code in the break room, and they said that if you are "in the friend zone" you should use the opportunity to ask about their single friends.

I actually think this is pretty good advice. On to the next one - it doesn't sound like he's exactly charming your socks off, anyway. Who knows, you may one day meet an artistic film buff who loves cats. Life is weird.

Sounds like your read is on target, and I also agree with the other girls who say it sounds like you are actually not that into this guy - in which case, it is a good thing that he is just not that into you. Imagine a dude pursuing you when you really don't like him!

I am going to be a little hippy trippy and suggest that you envision the guy you want, the relationship you want and the future you want. Do it intentionally and then let it go. Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways.

Oh my, Christian Olivia Wilde, huh? Whatever that means!
Anna, you are a great person. I'm sorry this didn't work out - it sounded good and I think you gave it ample opportunity to become something. But now I think it's okay to just do what you want - hiking instead of tubing, both tubing and hiking, just tubing and no hiking- whatever works for you and not even consider whether or not he's going to there. Make room for the next guy - he is out there for you. I know it!

Sorry to hijack, Anna, but to IK: them others are minorities and need to set themselves apart from mainstream/default value. When default identity draws attention to its default value, it tends to be hectically interested in jumping down your throat.

Rae, I was just thinking that...use him to meet any single male friends of his who may have similar interests.
Correction to your opening line, Anna: "HE's not the one."

Sorry to revive this. But given his pictures and posts on facebook, he has FAR more female friends than male.
But I now think he's a playa in nice guy disguise. He just posted on that he got a new summer suit for a wedding and look out bridesmaids.
He just loves attention from women.

At least you know it now, unless that is what you're after, which I don't think is true. Next!

Anna you know what you have the maturity now that you did not have in your 20's that makes you see this through clear eyes rather than rose colored glasses. You might be buddies; even try the buddies with privileges but I agree its not going anywhere and its because of him not you. And what exactly is an ideal 'Christian Olivia Wilde' while he is focused on beer and hanging out with a bunch of people? Is he looking for the girl next door that goes to church regularly but can also talk smack and drink several beers? Yeah right. he has the rose colored glasses.
At 42 he has the maturity of a 24 year old. Your head is in the right place.
Being single is hard, being in a relationship with the wrong person for the wrong reasons is way worse.

Anna, sounds as though this guy is set to become another story, however, at least you have not had the pleasure of meeting Mark http://talesofendearment.com/a.....-hamptons/

Wow Jules, that's just insane.

See, AG? It could be worse. You could be in the NYC dating scene.

A new suit for summer weddings! Yuck. Way too smarmy. Next!

Thank god this came out now.