Thanks for posting this, IK. It's an important message that building confidence in young girls is, first and foremost, by modeling it in yourself. It's only as I've grown older that I realize how lucky I was to have so many strong women in my family, along with fathers and grandfathers who cherished, encouraged, and, above all, took enormous pride in their talents and accomplishments.
This article made me recall a thought-provoking exercise that I once did in a class of young women. After creating several small groups, I asked each person to share one trait or characteristic about themselves that, if they were given one wish, they could change. The conversation flew fast and furious as all these young women wished for smaller thighs, tighter abs, weight-loss--in other word, the regular refrain. The second part of the exercise, however, was much different when I asked them to share one (and only one!) thing about themselves that they liked. The room went largely silent so after a few awkward minutes we started to explore why we are so eager to share what we dislike about ourselves with others but find it so much harder to articulate anything positive.
The group had no difficulty finding positive traits and characteristics in each other--the compliments flew just as fast as the earlier self criticisms--but even saying something like "I like my eyes" seemed almost impossible for some people. The important discussion started when the group reflected how their tendency towards negative evaluations affected them and the people around them, especially those who had young children. Children learn to view themselves through negative and positive comments directed towards them but they also learn how to talk about themselves by mimicking those around them. And self-talk is a very powerful element in the development of one's self-image. It's not enough just to tell a child she is beautiful if she is also learning how to disparage herself by listening to how, as women, we talk about ourselves.
