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Men! (and shopping)

MuseumGal

Veteran

TWO DAYS after crazy buy all the things Labor Day sales, my husband tells me, "I need some new summer shirts, several of mine now have permanent stains down the front." It will be summer temps (over 90F/32C) here for at least another month, so I thought, OK, maybe there are still some summer sales going. The hitch is that he takes an XL Tall in shirts, so most of those are either sold out or full price. Ah well, I did get find him a few shirts at Lands End discounted. MEN, grrrr!

Shopping

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rute

Veteran

eh eh men are all alike, mine is the same. He wanted some new items now that sales are almost gone. He always go to the stores with me (he is very picky, he has to try and decide for himself) but as soon as he enters in a store he left saying it has nothing he likes, if he sees within 2 minutes something interesting he tries, if not he goes away eh eh

Cerinda

Veteran

Man, do I get it! I resorted to subterfuge to get DH into NAS in July. I picked up a sweater and two shirts for him, cajoled him into checking the fit, and then offered him a downtown brunch as compensation for having to see the tailor. When he saw the markdowns, he said now he understands why I shop ahead of the season. We'll see if he remembers that for S/S!

Laura

LOL ..... I am currently single but when I was dating in college and in highschool I have discovered that guys tend to go shopping for things other then clothes. Electronics, car parts, sporting goods are popular for them. That makes it really easy for us to shop for them come birthdays or anniversaries because if we get them clothes, chances are, it will be something they need.

This at least, goes for most German guys i know. Not sure what guys are like in other countries.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

MG, I don't see what you are complaining about here? I have to pry old frayed / faded beyond recognition / worn to holes shirts from my hubby's hands because he feels "comfortable" in them! Agrhh!

MuseumGal

Veteran

HA, Sveta, we rarely argue but we did have a couple of battles early on in our relationship over ratty torn/stained clothing. I don't try to turn him into a fashion plate (I bought him short sleeved button downs, which he lurves, fer heaven's sakes), but I absolutely refuse to let him run around in torn/holey/stained clothes. I love that he's a nerd, but he is a well-kempt nerd, dang it!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Same here. My DH just does not get the idea that you have to plan ahead of the season to get things you like, and that you can save a lot of money if you don't wait until the last minute. Not to mention that he's also a tall XL so they're not really heavy on the ground in the first place. I used to buy things for him when there were sales, but he got annoyed at me, so now I just buy him a few things for gifts and otherwise let him deal with the sticker shock himself.

Maybe by the time we've been married a long time I'll convince him. My mom and dad are nearing their fortieth anniversary and my dad is pretty accepting of the time he spends drinking coffee and reading the paper in a Starbucks while my mom combs the outlet malls.

Elly

Veteran

Mine likes to order clothes on the internet-- luckily he knows his size in the 2 things he orders most commonly. Shoes he will order replacements online or shops b&M-- occasionally he asks me to buy him flip flops or slippers. He has some unmet clothing needs but doesn't know how the item will fit so he won't shop for it.

What I find annoying with him is the clothes hoarding. His previous place had a small walk-in he filled alone. His current place (after downsizing his wardrobe) he has the entire 7 or 8 foot wall closet and the one hanging spot upstairs filled. He had bags and bags of clothing in storage from various times he'd made life transitions or major moves --- most of which he doesn't wear/doesn't fit him but they are all still around and he mostly wears the same ten tees and 2 shorts and 3 pants that have seen better days (he wears a uniform to work). I would say currently he has close to 50 black tee shirts and wears the same 6.

He wants me to move in--- we'd have to do some major organizing AND more pitching to fit my things in the closet (and I have a tiny wardrobe) without the thing turning into a cesspool.

MuseumGal

Veteran

OMG Elly, mine has TWELVE pair of pleated trousers from the 80s/early 90s which he REFUSES to get rid of. I'm not talking one or two pleats, which will probably one day come back around, but those crazy 6-12 pleats per side pants. I at least made him put them in a plastic bag hidden away somewhere. I have no idea why he even has something so (previously) trendy, probably old girlfriends (he was 35 by the time I got my hands on him, and I've had to wade through tons of inappropriate cr@p from other girlfriends, and I'm not just talking clothes either, *eye roll*).

Cary

Funny to hear about men's shopping habits! My husband works in construction (dirt work) and buys his pants at the hardware store. In multiples. The only other article of clothing he wears is tshirts. Luckily, he looks VERY good in a nice snug tshirt and dark jeans. It's who he is, so I don't mess with it except to encourage those snug tshirts!

I do all my shopping online, so he has no idea how much thought (and time!) goes into my clothing shopping. So we're both happy.

Elly

Veteran

Mine has an ex-wife that bought him a forest-service truck-colored mint green shirt and a pink polo shirt. It took him almost three years of dating me before he threw out the bag with the customized tee shirts from their wedding events. FACEPALM

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Haha, my dad does this too: "I need a cotton shirt in size Medium."

But not any cotton shirt. He won't specify what colour, or what cut or anything, so when you buy him a shirt he's like horrified.

"BUT THAT HAS A V-NECK. ONLY GIRLS WEAR V-NECKS!"
"BUT THAT IS LIGHT BLUE. ONLY GIRLS WEAR LIGHT BLUE!"
"BUT THAT IS BLACK. ONLY GIRLS ... Oh, I just don't like it."

Emily

Veteran

Haha, awesome. I've gotten in the habit of asking DH whether he needs anything when there is a good sale at a place he shops.

I hear you guys re: the old stuff. We've been slowly chipping away at piles of old clothes, a large portion of which are from when he was in highschool. He had two pairs of awful shiny cargo pants from the mid 90s in black and silver. The silver ones finally went when he got grease or something on them, (Shucks!) but I think the black ones are still around somewhere...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, I have the opposite problem.

My DH is an avid online shopper and has more boxes delivered to our door than I do!! He also makes a lot of returns.

Now, if that suggests to you that he is Mr. Fashion Plate, think again. Because although he likes to buy new things, they all look exactly like the old things. He has a sort of preppy ex-professor style. It suits him, sure -- but now and again I would like to see him try something a little bit different.

Meanwhile, we used to have the "hundreds of old clothes" problem. Luckily, he lost some weight, enough to put him into a different size. That gave him an impetus to get rid of some old stuff -- oh, and order more!

rachylou

Veteran

What was that movie? Where the dad makes them take a road-trip vacation whose route he's plotted out by coupons?

Be careful what you ask for! Hehe. Ex-bf was like that. "I have a Red Lobster coupon. What do you say to a *fancy* dinner?"

(That, btw, is two ex-bfs and a brother for whom Red Lobster equals a red-carpet meal. What is up with that? Is my brother related to me?)

Marlene

Veteran

My husband is going through a "thrifty" phase and won't buy new clothes. He has decided that since he works at home that he shouldn't bother with clothes. Well, I have to look at him. And he DOES go out in public still. AND! AND! He lost 30 pounds so everything is literally falling off him. It's a nightmare, I tell you.

So last month he FINALLY agreed to get a few new button front shirts and a couple pairs of jeans. I had a coupon so he decided that would be okay. He literally duplicated the stuff he already had. So now I get to look at EXACTLY the same thing I have been looking at the past 10 years...just smaller. How can someone not be completely bored wearing the same thing over and over? I guess he is happy that Eddie Bauer never changes their men's clothing styles EVERRRRRR.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Please someone tell me how to convince mine that olive and sage green do not match.

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

Ah yes, the odd relationships with clothes men often have...I feel fairly fortunate that my DH doesn't insist on wearing sloppy, stained rags or keeping a roomful of ill-fitting, dated things!* He is only a very occasional shopper and is fairly careful about his choices, but I won't say he is all that fashion-oriented the way we think of it. He works in tech so there's not a real high style bar there. It leans a little more toward hipstery gear here anyway (including things like tech company tees) than conservative. And he does wear color.

*He does keep some things that are too big...he likes oversized sometimes. But he actually does purge items that he's decided he can't or won't wear anymore and off they go to Goodwill.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My husband is so weird. He likes to shop, and he's good at it and has a good sense of style. We joke that if it weren't for the sex part, he'd be gay.

Isis

Veteran

"I need some new summer shirts, several of mine now have permanent stains down the front."

There's really only one response, "Huh. What are you going to do about it?"

Thistle

Veteran

Ha, I have learned this the hard way. My stays well kempt only if nudged into it.

I bought him a couple of new shirts from Land's End when they had their sale over the holiday weekend. I then asked him to root around and find me just as many shirts with holes in them, that had "shrunk" etc. And we swapped.

Olivia

How many people actually have their guys go shopping with them for clothes?

Dee

Veteran

My husband did this to me at the end of spring! "Those cardigans we bought last year are looking worn, so I need to get some new ones."

First off, I had to force him to buy them last year for a conference... And then he wore them regularly all year. And now he tells me this after all the winter/spring merchandise has already sold out, so there's limited (to put it nicely) selection!

But at least he wore them instead of his old college hoodies all year, right?

Gigi

Veteran

OK, I have no stories to share, but reading everyone's woes here makes me think that it is such a bad thing that men don't have much fashion inspiration anymore. I mean, in the Baroque, hey, the guys were just as dressed up as the ladies. And I think it's been that way for most of history, up until maybe the mid-twentieth century (?). What happened?

Anonymous

All so true and so funny.

We have been married forever and I have seen many cycles of the above stories come and go with DH. The latest has been this flip flopping between his 'whatever college look' (it was still the nineties when we graduated), Bay Area hippester, and well heeled professional. Now I will give him that he is a bit of all those things but this week he wore what looked like skater sneakers with skinny chinos and plaid shirts. It was just wrong. Maybe on someone a bit younger or with an edgier look it would work. When the sneakers arrived I thought they screwed a bit young but figured they where for weekend wear. You know, to chase kids not to go to the office.