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Maxed out on nights out

anne

Veteran

I have just counted. In the next 10 nights I am out for 9 of them. Plus all day Saturday and most of Sun

They are mostly enjoyable things but i'm feeling stretched. I've been (over) thinking the extravert/ intravert distinction since Angie posted about it recently.Tests place me with close to a 50/50 score. Would a true extravert take this coming week in their stride?

Also, apologies for not getting back to my threads. I do appreciate your input and will attempt to do them justice at some point!

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28 replies

Latest reply was from anne

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

9 out of 10 nights would leave DH suicidal, me exhausted. That's a lot. Not to say it's wrong, but a reality check. A lot. Hope you can get some quiet time during the week.

rachylou

Veteran

Downtime is important for everyone. A little ironic - your DH is a pastor right? The whole ‘sabbath thing
on the seventh’ is a day of rest, but that’s a big day for a pastor and his wife!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I can't imagine - I would never schedule so tightly myself! If you are feeling overwhelmed (which you must be or you wouldn't post about it) it's probably time to cancel out on a couple of these. No excuses needed, just a simple "I am not up to it." would do... It's not worth getting sick over and when you're over stressed you are more likely to catch something.

Anonymous

I am already anxious about having committed to 2 nights out in a row . 9 out of 10 would do me in. Can you bail on any of these events?

JAileen

Veteran

I don't like having any nights out. We're going out tonight, to our community theater.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Anne, that's hectic even for an extravert. I'd be maxed out too.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

So that’s what they mean by the whirl of holiday parties!

What self-care /down time/ alone time can you fit in otherwise? A long soak in the tub (do you have the Japanese upright style there)? A relaxation yoga class? A massage or facial (from someone you trust not to chatter)? Morning meditation? Hikes in the woods? Are there any regular activities you can skip or reschedule?

Seriously, I would need to plan recovery for myself. Hope you survive and have fun!

Diana

Veteran

Wow, that's crazy. I'm looking at most of my weekend evenings being booked and already feeling overwhelmed. I can't even imagine 9 out of 10 nights!

deb

Veteran

You get extra, extra credit for tackling this. I could never do it.

Joyce B

Veteran

I am tired just from reading that! I wish you lots of good energy.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am ready to collapse just thinking about it. I need a lot of downtime. Even more, as I get older.

Aida

Veteran

My goodness Anne! Count me as another who's tired for you just reading the list. My best to you, and I hope you're able to sneak in some restful time here and there.

cindysmith

Veteran

DHL is an extrovert and that would even be too much for him. I'm an introvert so, um, yeah, nope.

Bijou

Veteran

Yes - this is what happens when you have summer end of year parties and Christmas celebrations. I have been out a lot lately too, 5 times in the last 6 nights. I am an extravert, but need home time too.

My husband and I make a point of arriving on time (well 5 - 10 mins after the official start) and having a nice chat to the host before the party really gets going. We stay for a few hours, but not too late, trying to get home by 11pm. It helps to have a decent sleep each night.

Jane

Veteran

Hi Anne, I work with someone who uses the turn of phrase 'burn bright and be gone'; I sometimes take this approach when I feel engagements are mounting up on me, as it feels like I am taking back ownership of my time.

elpgal

Veteran

Anne, you are lucky to be wanted on so many ocassions.

Aquamarine

Veteran

That’s crazy. I just bailed on a weekend party next week, because that would’ve made 4 full weekends in December...waaay too much for me.

Anonymous

Anne, that is just too much for anyone. My body would force me to stop if this were my schedule. I invariably come down with flu or bad cold and am forced to stay home. My sister gets terrible back aches. You need some down time. Does your Advent include meditation? That may be an antidote.

anne

Veteran

Thanks for all the sympathy... 2 down. My nephew's first birthday and a wedding (and a book launch between wedding and reception)

I should clarify that these are not all parties! This is the last week of school for the year for my kids, so there's a primary school graduation, a high school awards night, a dance concert and a rehearsal in there. Add to that my work party and the usual sunday nights at church.

I don't want to miss any of these and I think I'll be fine. I have been thinking though, (in part prompted by all of you) about how I can ease everything else. So this afternoon DD is taking the girls to have their dance photos done while he buys something he was going to get anyway and I'll have the afternoon off. I have plenty of things for sandwiches left over (I made heaps for the wedding) so that will be our evening meal tonight. We'll eat very simply all week when not out.

I do't work Tues and Thurs so will keep those days as quiet as possible.
I skipped exercise this weekend, as I've just been getting too tired and timewise was hard to fit in, and slept in til 8:35 this morning which was just a wonderful gift! I'm cutting down on exercise a little for the week ahead too.

Thanks for all the extraverts who chimed in! (especially Bijou, who lives in the same city as me so not surprised she's also busy!) We have also been leaving early, and though part of me wanted to hit the dance floor last night, I think it was for the best that we left soon after the dancing started!

DH takes some time off at other times to compensate, RL. Church is a little quieter for us right now, as we have a university congregation.

Sal

Veteran

That is a busy patch - I do empathise. I think Southern Hemisphere goes nuts in late November - December. My week this week is pretty good (three nights out between now and Sunday - Tues/Thurs/Sat). Next week is four (one an early finish though). And the week leading up to Christmas - only one - as school and sports all finish.

You sound on track and managing well - we also are eating very simple meals - lots of salad!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Glad you're simplifying in other areas. I don't usually get that busy but it is a good idea to remember. Breathe and enjoy each event.

anne

Veteran

Thanks Barbara Diane - I have been enjoying them. Last night's, my daughter's primary school graduation, was particularly memorable.

4 down - 5 to go! I'm not feeling drained by the interactions. A mum told me yesterday that she's an introvert and one night out a month is enough for her (though mind you, I know from other conversations that she gets up very early to start work) I'm either out or have people over twice a week as a minimum on a normal week.

I think I could keep this up for awhile if I had a full time housekeeper and didn't have to get up for work! The piles of clothes to be put away in my room are getting ever higher, and I got up at 5:30 and washed dishes this morning.

Plus last week at school has all these added things that I forget/ aren't asked for at convenient times by children - contributions for class parties, forms for next year, presents for teachers on behalf of children. I'm making extra for school canteen tomorrow because I need another "volunteer hour" (or we pay more in fees).

Also my caffeine consumption is really up. I was really trying to cut down this last six months (from 8 cups of tea a day to about 2). Today I've had 3 coffees plus a couple of teas and its 3pm!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Those all sound like great events you wouldn’t want to miss, much better than an endless march of merry-making (trying to make yourself merry) at holiday parties.

Does working out count as social time for you? It’s usually alone time for me, but I’ve just started meeting with a partner, for I think the first time ever.

anne

Veteran

Yes, the work party is the only one I'm a bit concerned about socially. I think I'll leave by 9. I can't imagine being so popular that I'd be invited to that many parties!

As for working out, Fashiontern, it's a mixture of alone and social. I cycle to work alone, have 2 runs a week alone and do my strength training at the gym by myself. I have just started going to one gym class a week though, just for timing reasons, and on Saturdays I go to parkrun, a free timed 5km group run, which is social.

I have done training runs with others in the past, when I lived somewhere else, and really enjoyed that, and am contemplating joining a group for intervals (there's a cost involved, which is why I need to weigh it up). I hope your training with a partner works for you. I think it could be a real encouragement.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

That would do me in. I can do a few nights or social days in a row, but then need an equal amount of time to recover! I had two events last night that I really kinda wanted to attend, but I stayed home because I felt maxed out after a busy early week. Definitely an introvert here.

anne

Veteran

Hi Janet - I imagine that ball takes a while to recover from, fab thought it was.
I predicted I'd leave by 9; in fact I called DH for a lift by 8:10, though he took a while to pick me up. I was enjoying myself but the music and noise was so loud I could barely hear what people said, and came home husky from shouting myself. I'm feeling very old and thinking (as I have been for a while) that I need to get my hearing checked. I know Angie and many others like loud environments, but I've never been like that, even as a teenager. I'm not sure if this relates to introversion at all. At some other things which are quieter I can be the last person to leave.

Anyway, on the home front now. 2 nights to go. And this Saturday and Sunday are fairly quiet in the daytime.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Is it hard for you to distinguish what’s being said when there is background noise? I’m like that. When I was dating the Somali guy, I was always amazed that he could have 30 people over, and they would all be aware of each other’s conversations, even on the other side of the room. I had always thought it was an inborn physiological thing, but they made it pretty clear to me that it’s cultural.

But I wonder how much the desire to be in crowds may be inherited. My dad really doesn’t like it, I’m not a fan either, and my son in recent years, even with the depression under control, absolutely can’t stand it. Basketball games, restaurants, any place with loud talking just does him in.

anne

Veteran

Fashiontern - yes, exactly like that - hard to distinguish when there's background noise.
I don't exactly mind crowds in some situations, but I've noticed my DD14 LOVES it! She doesn't mind shopping in crowded malls and loved going to our city's firework display, where it is really packed. The opposite of your son!