Ah, I see. Caro makes some great points too. I agree that it all depends on how involved you want to get. If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen some online group participant victimize themselves and threaten to take their toys and go home, well... I'd have enough extra dollars right now to buy you lunch, at least. At some point, with someone like that, especially in an online community where they become more of a distraction than a group member, I'd say, "Fine, don't let the door hit you on the way out." Not directly *to* them, of course, just in my head.
If you want to give her some friendly advice as a parting gift, you could send a personal message 1) sympathizing politely, letting her know you understand she feels hurt and unheard, and then 2) gently suggest that since it seems she is so deeply sad and hurt, she may want to seek some counseling to help her cope and heal. The fitness forum is not equipped to give her what she seeks.
The tougher love approach, knowing that you may be burning a bridge you don't particularly care to revisit, would be to send her the link you posted. There is some food for thought there, and it might plant a seed, but I'd say that's unlikely. It's more likely she'll be offended, and nothing shuts down a person with these issues quicker than offending them. It just digs in their martyrdom heels even deeper.
Gigi is exactly right -- she continues to make these kinds of comments because she believes no one is listening. The warped thing is that even when someone *does* listen to her, she probably still will not believe it. It will not sink in that she is being listened to, because her walls are up. It's an awful self-fulfilling prophecy that perpetuates aloneness. I understand because I lived with it and can start to live in that world myself if I'm not careful. This woman is living in a sea of depression. The best thing for her would be some professional help, and her own motivation to change her life. You cannot give that to her -- all you can do is let her know you hear her and give her some little bit of empathy that perhaps lets her open the door to seeking real help for herself.
I hope all that makes sense. Clearly this is a topic very near and dear to my experience. Imagine that person being your closest loved one, and how taxing it can be on you. My challenge was imagining feeling that unloved and unheard for one's whole life, and learning to feel sympathy rather than frustration.
