I'm a "hinge," too. Probably because I've never followed the typical path.

So...my parents were "older" when they had me. (Not compared to BC's parents, but compared to other parents around; my mother was 33 and I was her first.) They grew up during the Great Depression and the war years and it affected them, and I was raised with different values than my peers.

Technically a "boomer" (at the tail end) I never felt like one. Because of their own experience, although they could afford to send me to university, my parents expected me to work to put myself through. So I took several years off after high school to save money and then once I did get to university proceeded at a slower rate than my peers. This meant I was in school with Gen x'ers and to the extent my life has had a trajectory, it's been more like theirs. Except it hasn't.

I married someone who is 14 years older than me and a complete boomer. He has kids who are Gen x'ers (young), Gen Y, and now we have a millenial! It's all mixed up and interesting around here.

Another hinge here! Born in 1982. I certainly don't feel that I'm a millennial and never have. But then again not sure I'm a Gen X-er either.

I'm stereotyping here again I guess, but when I think of millennials, I differentiate them from my era in that they didn't have the freedoms we did. I grew up in the city, but yet we rode bikes around the neighborhood and rambled around with no supervision for hours. It seems like millennials didn't grow up that way and the parents were more involved in their lives in other ways as well. Like when I was growing up, I always felt that I was at a disadvantage because my dad was a teacher, so he knew everything about what days school closed early or when report cards were sent home. Other parents had no clue, and my friends got away with everything! Can't imagine that happening nowadays.

I was born in 1967 and am Gen-X all the way. I just got a smartphone this past year and I use it primarily to listen to music. I don't particularly like to use the telephone (I'm not a chatter and I like to be inaccessible), but my 14 year old son just told me that he never set up his voicemail on his phone, that he doesn't want anyone to call him, he won't check for messages, and if someone has his number they can just text. He also offered to show me "all sorts of apps" that I can use on my phone and I'm like, what for? I still make lists on paper. I'm not a gamer. I could care less about how many steps I take. And yes, Rachy, I am bitter about some things and consider it my right.

Interesting. I'd never given this a whole lot of thought before. Born in 1965, so I'm in a hinge generation as well.

My parents were older when they had me -- both born in the 20s during the Depression, and dad was a veteran of two wars. Solidly in that "Greatest Generation" category. My sister was born in 1955 so she's firmly in Boomer territory. She married the first time when she was 19 and I was 9, so in many ways we had the experience of almost being two only children. And in a sense, I grew up in a family that was sort of "older" all around.

However, I feel like I relate more with Gen X than Boomers. Maybe because I married late, never had children of my own, and stayed involved in the rock'n'roll and art scenes, which tend to keep people young (if it doesn't kill them ;-)).

I'm not bitter about anything, much less anything generational. I am glad I was born in the era I was born in. I feel lucky to have experienced the world pre-internet (and pre-cable TV, pre-cell phone, etc.) and to be able to participate fully in all the good things technology offers now. Yeah, sometimes I bitch about how younger people don't respect some old customs (grammar! texting during a meeting!) but for the most part, I roll with the changes.

Interesting, Betty, re 'work hard and you'll make it'. You don't think that was in the zeitgeist of the times, the formative and hey day years of Boomers? Because I was, as a Gen-Xer, alive for part of it of course, a little kid, and I think of that as a common theme.

And in a way, I think that was what gave Maggie and Ronny permission to cancel The Social Contract. It didn't seem necessary, when it made it possible.

I think my parents, being older, spoke to me in the same way. The only thing is, by my time, it simply wasn't going to happen that way. Like even within the same organization, the rules for newer employees and legacy ones are quite different. My dad belonged to a clerks union and had a pension. You betcha no one has a pension plan now. He raised two kids on clerks wages very comfortably. It would take a million dollars to buy the house I was raised in today.

So well, obviously, we agree on the state of things. But I *am* a little surprised you don't feel your parents' maxim was a Boomer thing - in that this is the sort of thing Boomers' parents would say.

Right. I get too much fun out of pondering these things: at the moment I find it easiest to talk to Millenials. Perhaps it's just because I'm surrounded by them and the familiar is most comfortable. But we got an 'old guy' at work...it's been pulling teeth to find points of commonality. He has nothing to say about Pokemon Go, no jokes about it. So far the only thing I've found is Adam Bede, for goodness sake. You don't get dustier than that! Lol

OK, official baby boomer (born in '49) reporting for duty here to stand up for her generation surrounded by bitter Gen Xers and fascinated by Millenials.

To be honest, I've always been a bit puzzled by the scorn hurled at us by the GenXers. Yes, we WERE a large group and, yes, as a moving mass through the decades, we did influence social and cultural trends and unwittingly cast a giant shadow over smaller, later generations. But, in fairness, we had nothing to with the circumstances of when and how we were born, and being part of a huge group brings advantages as well as disadvantages.

My generation was shaped by some events that rarely get mentioned when those accusations of "entitlement" get hurled at us. From the outside it might look like a Beatles and Stones, drug-fueled Woodstock, hippie nirvana youth, followed a sauntering off to well-paying, pension-rich, corporate jobs in dress-for-success suits, and ending up with a cushy retirement travelling the world. What doesn't fit into that picture, though, are what which I truly think influenced me and my generation.

We were the Cold War babies who learned about bomb shelters and nuclear annihilation in elementary school. We were the kids who saw other kids in iron lungs because there were no vaccines. We were the kids who were bewildered when someone assassinated the President of the United States on a sunny day in Texas. We were the teenagers who saw our friends sent off to fight a war that seemed senseless and saw them return home as druggies and broken misfits. As females, we were the ones who were told only "bad" girls got pregnant outside of marriage and, if we ever found ourselves in that condition, our only options would be to endure public shame before the baby would be handed over to someone we could never know, a forced marriage, or a back street abortion. As teenagers, we saw "White Only" signs, witnessed little girls in Sunday dresses being humiliated by shouting mobs, and were estranged from family and friends if we had a boyfriends or girlfriends whose skin color didn't match our own. We were told that university education wasn't needed if we were women and that we ought to leave those spaces available for the boys who "really" needed them. We could be nurses, but doctors were men. We were told to expect less pay than our male counterparts because a man needed to support a family, while we didn't. We were expected to be deferential as women and to quit our jobs when were pregnant--paid maternity leave was unthinkable. Yup, we were the "entitled" group all right with an easy ride through those early years.

And, yes, we were the parents of those embittered Gen Xers who didn't understand why we wanted to hang on to our careers and whose lives were damaged by parents who realized a hasty marriage at 19 doesn't need to be endured forever. We tried to hide our baggage and push them towards what we hoped would be a brighter future where ability, not race or background, would determine success. And, obviously, although our intentions were good, we were wrong.

Oddly enough, when the Millenials popped in for a visit, too busy texting to be embittered, we were fascinated. Here was the generation whose undaunted enjoyment reminded us of what we felt back in our youth when we were convinced we could change the world. These Millenials were doing what we had longed to do, without even glancing up from their smart phones. If we looked interested, they were only too eager to show us how to use NetFlix, order everything online, and use our phones to do everything but phone. To them, we boomers weren't "entitled" as much as irrelevant, and we loved them for it.

Rachylou, I meant that the "work hard and you'll make it" thing is not unique or original to baby boomers. I remember people of my generation going to college to get careers in fields they loved, which didn't necessarily pay the bills. Maybe they did that thinking that if they worked hard enough, things would work out for them. I don't know, except that my dad was truly a self-made man, and did quite well in business for himself. Back then, a high school education meant more than it does today.

FWIW, my parents made sure I didn't grow up with a sense of entitlement, but they did make sure I developed a healthy self esteem. Every one of my endeavors was encouraged, and for that I'm extremely thankful. I didn't have anyone telling me I couldn't do something.

My mom and dad were born in 1920 and 1922, respectively. My parents immigrated to the US already married in 1950 with my brother who was around 1 at the time (he was born in 1948). I was born in the US in 1956.
I really don't remember playing with my brother as a child and many times felt as if I was an only child since there was an 8 yr age difference. I think I definitely am a Boomer. I was really into all most things 1970s except drugs and sex (I am totally against drugs). I was raised Catholic, married a Catholic, and my kids have been baptized, confirmed, and received communion in the Catholic Church. My DH and I are not religious at all, but to make our parents happy (and get them off our backs) went to church on occasion. I leave it up to my kids to make their own decision as to what they want to do and believe.

I got along with my mom much better than my father and I think it was because of me that my mother stepped out of her shell as an obedient wife. I would not call myself a feminist, but my parents expected that I would marry early and have a ton of kids (think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding - though I am not Greek) and do everything they said I should do. I went to college on a full scholarship (everything was paid for).Though they said I was not allowed to leave home to go away to school, I did so anyway. They were not happy, but oh well, it was my life and the one thing I do not like is to be controlled by anyone. I don't know if this is a Boomer trait or not. My brother is also considered a Boomer, but he was more compliant and lived with both of my parents until they passed (he never married).

Once I became fully established in my career I found someone who loved me for me, did not want to control me, and became my equal partner in marriage. I have been married 26 years and we had a couple of kids who are Millenials. They both finished college in less than 4 years, had full scholarships, and are figuring things out on their own. We did extend the invitation for each to live with us after college free of room and board . The oldest spent a year and a half after college working various part time jobs until she nabbed the job of her dreams and is extremely happy. The youngest is doing the same thing and I am pleased that they are taking the time to figure things out and find what makes them happy. They are both hard workers and never asked DH and me for any money. They both have worked hard for what they have and I am proud that they can stand on their own 2 feet. So while they are thrown into the "Millenial" pot, I am not sure how much they are truly millenials.

I understand the need to accept the differences in generations and do not place unrealistic or unnecessary expectations on anyone, like my parents and their generation did on me and my peers.

I was born in 1973, so I'm firmly GenX and that generation absolutely resonates with me. I wholeheartedly identify with pretty much everything rachylou says above. Most of us were raised by Boomer parents, and
even if it didn't match up with the reality we were experiencing (I was raised by a single mom who never really found economic comfort again after the divorce), there was still this idea that you could follow the right path, work hard, and succeed. It felt like a real betrayal when it turned out to not work for us.

I remember the first time my husband got laid off from a tech job. We'd just bought a house, and I was two months pregnant with my son. We sat on the steps of our brand new front porch in a daze. Layoffs, we thought, happened to steel workers and coal miners, not programmers. Three failed companies and many missed paychecks later, we now understand how very not true that is, but I don't think we'll ever feel secure in our future. We're always walking a tightrope without a net. That's pretty much the reality of being a GenXer so, yeah, we're jaded and skeptical.

BC, so true about the value of a high school education. My father had some college, but not a degree. He was a programmer and also stuck with the family trade (hardware) and was able to do right by us.

I am thinking what is extraordinary about your parents is not the 'work hard' values (tho this is indeed a virtue), but that they didn't discourage.

I'm also thinking there's a difference between a sense of entitlement and being entitled. Like, I think about the demise of unions. The non-existence of a ladder to be climbed...

...Gaylene, Millenials actually strike me as quite bitter, but they have not done what Gen-Xers have done. They seem totally disenfranchised to me. Gen-X kicks at the system that's shut its doors. Millennials don't seem to me to bother at all. They don't fight. They tweet, Kickstarter a non-profit, and leave it at that. They make merry, for tomorrow nothing will happen.

Jenn, what you say really resonates with me, so does that mean I'm Gen X after all? My parents are boomers for sure.

And similar to what BC says above, I wish they had mentioned that not all college majors lead to a career. I had to learn that one the hard way.

Yah, Jenn. What Liz said. Me too...

I'm going to have to carefully reread everyone's comments to have some intelligent responses to all the fascinating discussions. (Which I expected.)

I don't know if any of this relates to my time period, assuming at least some of it has to be my own choices and personality and the fact of who my parents were. Parents both second-generation (children of children who'd immigrated here at a very young age). Parents born in 1930 and '37, both first generation in their families to go to college and both remembered the Depression.

Me, born December '63. First-born. Vague memories of the early to mid-70s. Parents firmly middle class, with my dad having a very decent (if not exciting) career as an educator-administrator-teacher. Nice, big, affordable house in the suburbs, the middle-class basics for all three of us kids (summer camp, decent if not extravagant clothes and stuff). I remember growing up in the suburbs surrounded by girls who had immense wardrobes and all this keeping up with the Joneses going on. Status-conscious.

Anyhow, college in the mid-80's. I thought majoring in Japanese language would be the ticket to a hot career (I wanted to live in Japan, and was good at languages). After college, in the late 80's, I could not find a job in the New York area (in retrospect, would have done well to double-major in finance or economics or something...Japanese by itself was not worth much here). Went to Japan where the economy was taking off like crazy and worked for a few years in boring but well-paying jobs as a translator.

Came back to the states in the early 90's with husband and three-year-old. Have had sporadic employment since, and now am working occasional freelance gigs.

I am not an early adaptor of technology; I'm probably somewhere in the middle. I'm not terribly interested in it but am not averse to having a basic framework of understanding.

I don't like the phone a huge amount, but as someone mentioned upthread, I remember my sister and my contemporaries (girls) spending hours and hours and hours on the phone.

I'm extremely glad the internet was not around when I was young. As it is, it's been way too much of a timesuck, and it's shaped my attention span, and the way I think, too much.

I think it's a hard time to be young and expect to have a career, and afford things we took for granted like a decent house. I'm amazed at how difficult it appears to me.

As a Boomer parent, all I can say is we did the best we could to give our kids all the tools we thought they'd need to take control of their lives. In hindsight, though, education wasn't the ticket it had been for earlier generations, but none of us could peer that far into the future.

And most of us early boomers didn't start out with nice big houses in the suburbs and the trappings of middle class life. Our first home was a tiny apartment with a bricks and board seating area and some discarded furniture which we painted and refinished on our balcony. My baby equipment was all hand-me downs except for a crib my parents bought. I sewed my own clothes and made my own curtains. What the GenX remember are our later homes, the ones we could afford once we became more established in our careers.

And those "good" careers weren't necessarily from choice--they were often chosen because of practicality. I never much wanted to be a teacher, but I chose it because it was the only job I knew in which men and women could earn the same salary. Jobs and careers were based on what was available, and once you found something, you stuck with it. I had friends who spent years working in financial institutions who were constantly denied promotions and raises because they were women, but were afraid to say anything. And, believe it or not, many of us early boomers did not walk out from university straight into a well-paying jobs. I used to joke working as a waitress while I went to university served me well because at least I could keep paying rent on the apartment I shared with two other women. My roommates also had degrees and worked as receptionists and typists. Being part of a large demographic meant jobs were often scarce unless you lived in a major centre in the US.

I suppose the saving grace was I didn't expect much more since my parents also had gone through similar periods when they were young, and I knew that many of them had survived much worse during the war. As I say, the reality of my life when I was in my 20s and 30s certainly doesn't resemble the picture I see drawn here.

You know, Gaylene, you have made me think this: a good part of it has nothing to do with decisions made by parents as parents. It has a lot to do with decisions made as voters or business people. As my hinge ex-boss once pointed out, I was looking for the 13% return on my investments as was possible in the 80s. And he told me that was a crazy number.

--- topic switch---
I will never be buying a house. I realized that looking for my first apartment after getting my first professional 'career job.'

Gaylene, your last paragraph hits on an important point. Boomers didn't expect to do as well as they did. They were one generation away from the horrors of WWII and the Great Depression. They worked hard, were lucky with the booming economy, and as a group did well. They cannot be faulted for that. The generations that followed expected more, and got less. Such is life.

This hilarious Wait But Why article sums it up:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/.....happy.html

The Boomer generation is also responsible for many advances we now take for granted, such as the ability to control our fertility -- something that has revolutionized life for women. As a member of Gen X, I am deeply grateful. I bear your generation zero ill will.

(Actually, I'm a bit worried about the erosion of some of these rights...).

This is such a fascinating discussion all around. Both my husband and I moved to the US (separately) in our early 20s and it has been a long road for us in terms of education, finding jobs with all the recessions and layoffs and managing to fit in socially with the varied demographics we work and live with.

The baby boomer generation goes from 1946 to 1964. That's a big time frame. I can't relate to any of my siblings who were born during that time except my brother, who was born in 1951. And forget relating to the two who were born between 1938 and 1946! They all have a different mindset. Because of this, I really don't consider myself a baby boomer.

Speaking of college and careers, I have the equivalent of a college degree in music, but it never has paid the bills. Luckily, my head was screwed on straight. I took college-level business classes while in high school and have been able to earn $ as an administrative assistant. I married my DH while he was still in grad school. He's an economist and manages $ quite well. We're more than okay, thank God.

Our oldest DD refused to go to college, but now successfully runs her own online business. Our 2 middle DDs are recent college grads. One is a food technologist and the other is an elementary school teacher. Our youngest is still in college and trying to decide what she wants to major in.

If any of you are interested, both my (Gen Z) son and I found this VSauce video fascinating He talks in depth about how generations are defined and how each one relates to the last.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD0x7ho_IYc

Fascinating thread with such thoughtful comments. Like you, Mochi, I was born in 1963 and feel poised between generations, although I prefer the term "bridge" to "hinge." If I had married a lawyer, and had my children young, I would have likely felt more like a boomer. However, I'm now the long-married parent of a 14 year old and 15 year old, and I don't really relate to Gen X either. Perhaps it's because I'm a musician --- a classical singer, singing music not tied to generation, or because my husband spent years in ministry, but I gravitate toward intergenerational "family" sort of environments. The best of these, such as YLF itself, don't diminish distinctive characteristics such as culture, age, race, faith, etc, but instead form bonds based upon complementarity. We learn from one another!

I recognize a fellow "cusper" in a few ways:

1. We were changed politically by seeing the fallout following Watergate. At 11, watched the adults in the room weep as Nixon resigned.

2. We know the 80's were preppy before they were influenced by New Wave, Madonna, and Grunge. (I actually had the very plaid skirt worn in the first episode of Stranger Things).

3. We know Jenny's number. If we want a good time, we can call it.....

Az et al - the history of the pill is fascinating: http://www.ourbodiesourselves......h-control/

... And does everyone remember the book, Our Bodies, Our Selves?

Rachylou beat me to it. Baby boomers didn't create the pill.
Anyways as the original rabble rouser on the other thread I'll try to get back here when I'm not physically and mentally exhausted.

I do want to say that the lack of direct millennial voices on here makes a difference, not filtered through the parents et al.

Rachy, I have a copy of the book.

Rachy, Anna -- of course you are right, Boomers didn't invent the pill, but that generation was the first to widely use it. In my brain, better contraception is associated with Baby Boomers!

The boomers did a lot of other feminist work for us, too. Feminism as a concept started way before them, of course, but still. We owe a lot to baby boomer ideology.

Babyboomers did Civil Rights. They made it happen. That's monumental. Babyboomers have achieved a lot.

Boomers went to work in, and on, a system. It's like it *is* true, Gen-X had no cause. Gen-X had no system. I feel it's worse for Millenials. I may adopt Fragmentation as my moniker for the times...

I was born at the beginning of the Baby Boomers 1946. It was tough to be on the cutting edge and we were different from Boomers born even 2 years later. Things changed so quickly after our first wave hit and we saw that we could make a difference. Gaylene expressed beautifully the pain and pride of being aa early Boomer. We stood up for the rights and equality of race and gender, fought stupid wars and social injustice, took part in demonstrations and saw those we loved taken to fight and often die in unpopular war, messed up for life because of pregnancy and abortions in Mexico and drugs and early marriages. Girls had to fight for a college education or a professional job. Demonstrators were fired on and arrested. Many of the best didn't make it to 30.
We still have a profound work ethic, volunteer and give our money and time to the causes that we believe in, but our parents were the greatest generation of the 20th century and gave us the freedom and education to accomplish what we could.

Nicely said, Joy. Nicely said.

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Where are our 20-30 yr olds? Millenials don't justify me!

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Az, 'better contraception is associated with Baby Boomers!': And feminists in particular. Feminists were the ones to challenge the safety of the pill in '70 and bring us the package insert for drugs.

Medical care was all around pretty stone age until the 1980s, when you think about it. You have to ask if it's come as far as you think it has. Like for mental illness. Had a neighbor whose cocktail knocked out her kidneys...

Rachy -- Yes! And feminism in particular. But Roe vs Wade -- a landmark human rights victory -- must have been the boomers, because Gen X would have been too young. When I said "controlling fertility", I also meant that -- I didn't actually mean simply the Pill.

Joy, my mother-in-law, born the year after you, took part in a lot of the stuff you describe. She and her friends were prepared to fight for bigger issues that they felt were important. A lot of that energy had fizzled by the time we were young adults. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate the fight. It also doesn't mean that Gen X isn't quietly handling the new crises that are coming up now. We are now in middle age. I think the sense of collective ideology from the 60s is long gone, but it's my Gen X friends who are getting things done.

The perception that Gen X and the Millennials are bitter at Baby Boomers because of the flourishing economy they enjoyed is false, I think.

Wikipedia on Jane Roe: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norma_McCorvey

On Roe v. Wade: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roe_v._Wade

Particularly interesting is the balancing test. The basis for the ruling is more cold, more clinical, and more 'least common denominator' than one might think. We tend to think of the law as what we must live up to. It isn't. It's the least to be lived down to.

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I think one of the things Gen-X is bitter over is the difference between being free within a society and simply cut free. Gaylene pointed this out too, when she mentioned failures in the attempt to address social ills.

Humans are pack animals. Exile is the greatest punishment; solitary confinement torture. I remember my social living (sex ed) teacher HATING my class. Lots of kids not impressed by the idea of finding yourself by changing your name to Karma Black and running off, leaving you with nothing but the soaked-in-rain free-love commune tent ('home'). That was about the time my mum pulled the plug on her woman's group. Quite a lot of devolvement into pure silliness.

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I await Annagybe