Love/Hate Relationship With Body & Clothes - Warning A Long Vent!! - YouLookFab Forum

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Love/Hate Relationship With Body & Clothes - Warning A Long Vent!!

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I'm not one for long posts but this time I really need to vent.

I'm tired of trying clothes on in a dressing room only to look complete different at home. For example, the HM polka dot cigarette style ankle pants that I got last night fits and feels great. They are a higher rise and hit me exactly at the ankle. (I also got a pair on black ones too.) But looking at my photos, I can see that the pants do make my legs shorter, so am I doomed to wear long trouser style pants forever? Never wear cropped/ankle/cigarette pants, ever? I mean I love that style and it's my homage to the neo-retro 60s look I try to portray.

It seems the only figure flattering items that look good on me are a-line skirts and a-line dresses , jeans tucked in boots and long sweaters cinched. I feel like these outfits limit me in what I wear.

UGH!! It's just frustrating so I blame my body.
--I was born with short legs. I know I can't change that so I wear something that flatters me and wear lots of heels which I'm sure will pay me back later in life.
--My running is making my thighs too big. Okay, so I need to stop running after the upcoming races. (Hubby and I will start up bicycling soon)
--I exercise like crazy, watch and track what I eat but never to get to my goal. Okay, I'll need to watch a little closer. (I do love food though)

Anyway, sorry for the rant and thanks for listening. I get this way at times.

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32 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Ok...first of all, you have a fabulous figure! One that many would be proud to carry around. Instead of cursing your thighs (which are not disproportionate by the way), be thankful that they are strong and that you can run, something many cannot do.

Secondly, wear the cropped slim ankle pants if that is the style you are wanting. I've come to the realization that not everything I wear needs to lengthen my leg line (I'm only 5'1" myself). Sometimes I'm willing to give that up for fashion!

I think you look fantastic in both pairs of these pants DC and if I were you in your shoes (especially those gorgeous red ones!), I'd wear them with a smile on my face!

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Transcona Shannon - Thank you so much and believe me I wasn't fishing for a compliment. There are days when I feel really good about my body and then there are times I don't. I guess these were one of those days.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Sing it, sister! I know the ups and downs you describe. You are your own worst critic - you look great in both of these outfits!

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I can't believe you have insecurities about how you look. You look so confident in your pictures and wear all of your outfits with such panache and style. I think you look amazing and would never have guessed that you have short legs. I see you as being chic and stylish at all times. I've never seen you in an outfit that didn't wow me.

I guess it is true that we all have our issues. I think you are one of the most fashionable ladies I don't know.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I know you weren't fishing DC - I just want you to believe you are beautiful!

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Dianthus - OMG (I sound like a teeny bopper) - you're too kind and thank you. I guess we all have our issues.

It's funny how people's perception are so different than your own. in my mind I always want to be a little different and funky but then chicken out a bit.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Ironkurtin - we are our own worst critics. Okay, I'll blame the DARN mirrors. How's that? LOL!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Erm, I think the ankle pants look great! The high waist and heels lengthen your legs just fine. I am in the short-leg club, too, so I am very sensitive to stumpification! Sure, different leg styles would make the stems look longER, but you look very leggy here IMO. Plus, look at how nicely the crotch lays!

taylor

Veteran

I really love where they fall against the ankle!! Perfect to me
...I think photo's can sometimes trip us up too. Something feels fab, then we see a photo...hmmm what happenend, but rest assured these pants look amazing.

Jonesy

Veteran

I agree with everyone else that these pants look really fab on you!! The length and fit look perfect, and they are so chic!

I do know what you mean though...there is something about patterned pants that just look *bigger* than solid, dark ones, at least when I look at pics of myself in patterned pants vs. black ones. ETA: I'm not saying that *these pants* look like that on you at all, just that when one looks at oneself in patterned pants, they can look bigger somehow than dark solids. Hope that makes sense and is reassuring like I mean for it to be :).

HelenInCanada

Veteran

You are so petite, fit, and trim - and very stylish. Go for those cigarette pants, black or patterned - you rock them! Honestly, the idea that you have "big" thighs is insane, IMHO. I think scrutinizing your body too closely can lead us to find fault where none lies - and sadly even to a time-and-life-wasting neurosis. Life is too short. Truly. Never make the mistake of comparing your body to pro models' (many who are dangerously underweight) and be proud of yourself and your unique style!

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Rae - thanks for that. No wrinkly crotch there that's for sure.

Taylor - I always thought photos told the truth. I guess cameras use mirrors too.

Jonesy - You are absolutely right and because I rarely if ever wear patterned pants, the illusion is causing me to look bigger.

HelenInCanada - oh believe me I've never compared my body to any model because I'm not tall nor skinny.

Ladies - thank you all for your input. I'll have to look at the photos again and see if I really love the pants or not.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

1. You are gorgeous and always chic. I LOVE your style. LOVE.

2. I fully understand your irritation at your legs. Not because you SHOULD be irritated. But because I also have short muscular legs and sometimes wish I had been blessed with long, slender gams.

3. That said, these trousers look sensational on you and you are making me want to run right out and buy a pair. They are not stumpifying to my eye, the way you have styled them. They taper nicely at the bottom, and with your heels, there's a nice long line.

4. Even if they DID shorten your leg line significantly, sometimes it's worth it. For me, booties and a skirt are a bit that way. No matter how carefully I play it, I do think they stumpify me a little bit...but it is worth it to me to look more current and less "ladylike" in some of my outfits (which is something I'm otherwise at risk of sometimes.)

5. Probably all of us feel limited by our body shape at times. I think Sveta said it well in another thread, though. It's still worth trying stuff on..just to see...sometimes clever styling can rescue as style that technically isn't our most flattering. And you are a mistress of styling so should be able to make just about anything work!

6. Re weight and shape...we all have days like this. When I feel this way about my thighs I try to remember how strong they are and feel grateful for all they can do. In fact, instead of trying to make them thinner via exercise, I lift weights and do cross fit! I have decided to embrace their shape and make it work FOR me, not against me. True, it sometimes means that I have trouble fitting into skinny jeans. But so be it.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Suz - you are truly awesome. Thank you for those great words. I love what you said on #4 because no matter what, I can't make myself any taller than I am and sometimes I should stick to my gut. (Those red heels were a bit too high for me so may have to wear a shorter heel)

I wish my bottom half would be proportioned to my top half since I've always been smaller on top. I do cross train on those days I don't run but that includes HIIT and more leg work. I need more of a sculpting class.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I am sorry, citygirldc, but I don't see the leg shortening here. I think they look good and fun - I wish they looked as good on me! Especially the black pair - excuse me but your legs look miles long in them, seriously.
Having myself some pants woes last week I cannot accept anything like this from you!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

The answer is pullups and chinups.

Oh, and pushups.

Gee, next thing you know I will be prescribing everybody's favourite, burpees!

Seriously, though...I have this problem, too. I have always felt "pearish" even though technically I am not a pear. Because the musculature on my legs is naturally bigger than the musculature on my arms.

There's no such thing as sculpting, really, IMO. But it is possible, with a careful variety of exercises, to create a more balanced appearance. Within the limits of our bone structure, of course.

cinnamon fern

Veteran

CGDC. I so hear you on this. There are days when I look in the mirror or at photos and all I see are short, thick legs. But I never see this looking at your pictures! It's so easy to be critical of yourself in a way that you never would be of your friends, or even strangers. Ugh.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with these pants. I completely understand how you feel about leg shortening styles - I am even more petite than you! But whenever I read about things that petites are not supposed to do, I try to find a way to make them work. I think there are ways to wear these pants that would work for you. You can crop them higher, get them slimmed or wear them with nude heels or wedges. I know the look you are going for - I love Audrey Hepburn too. If you check out her famous pants (http://steveandjessmarcum.blog.....pburn.html), they are tight and more cropped. You can totally wear this look if you want to.

Now the bigger issue - the things that you see in the mirror are not what the world sees when we look at you. Having met you in person, I can say from personal observation that you are gorgeous from head to toe. Sending big hugs your way. Wear something that makes you feel powerful and beautiful tomorrow.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Audrey's trousers are shorter and sleeker. To my eye that looks best. (GREAT link, Rita).

I am going to go against the grain and suggest shortening these trousers for the Audrey effect. The fits are good, Naz! I LOVE that you are showing your waistline in them and lengthening the leg line by tucking in the tops.

You are 100% gorgeous and have a great figure that I have had the pleasure of seeing and fitting clothes onto

anne

Veteran

I can relate to your feelings - I have a similar figure with short muscular legs/thighs. I do think you look great though and with that haircut, I am already seeing Audrey H.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

Rita: thanks for the great link re: Audrey Hepburn pants. I know I can't go any slimmer with my 2 new pants because they are pretty fitted, borderline skinny but not. I need to find my nude sandal wedges (if I can find them). I'll play around with the length of the pants.

Angie: As always, you are one great lady. I too will take your advice and play with the lengths. Meanwhile, I'l need to find a cropped cardi or top to show the waistline.. .I had to roll/tie up my sleeveless because it was too long to wear down.

ManidipaM

Veteran

::Waving to fellow 'strong-legged' sister::

CGDC, please NEVER regret your legs. I DO understand where you're coming from --- it is awfully frustrating when everything from media to mannequins suggests to us that female legs are *supposed* to be slender. But that's like saying all women's faces should be moon-shaped or everyone's hair must be curly, and all of us have to be blue-eyed blondes to be attractive at all. JUST. NOT. TRUE.

In this case, you DON'T look stumpy. Yes, COMPARED to the other higher-waisted, darker (solid), and longer pants, your lower half will look slightly smaller in these cropped beauties. But please be assured you do NOT look disproportionate. You look stylish and feminine and playful. You look (and are) strong and healthy. Celebrate that with a smile and your head held high!

(PS: In my culture, it used to once upon a time be the highest compliment to say a lady's legs resembled the trunks of a banana tree --- nice big round cylinders with hardly any taper! Ancient sculptures always seem to show women with unequivocally muscular thighs around here. I'm not advocating for that as the norm any more than I'd advocate for a norm of 'wineglass-stem' legs; but it's a good reminder of the natural variety of human bodies and that aesthetic judgement of them is also prone to the same tides as dress shapes in fashion... The idea is to NOT take that mainstream preference so much to heart that you expect your body to change shape like your seasonal wardrobe might!)

MsMary

Veteran

If you love running, PLEASE do not stop running because you think it makes your legs too big!! Strong legs that can run where you want to run are incredibly beautiful, by definition!!!

I echo everyone else: What I see is a gorgeous, gorgeous woman with a beautiful figure and beautiful legs! Seriously. I always look forward to your WIW's because we have slightly similar sizes and shapes and you are so inspirational to me! Honestly! I look at the photos on this thread and think you look completely adorable!!

And finally, if you want to try some cropped very slim pants, try the J Crew Minnies: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Navig...../47383.jsp. I have a pair and have been really happy with them!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Citygirldc, I think you are gorgeous and you have beautiful legs. I love both pants on you and think that you should be proud of your strong, athletic body and awesome figure! I always look forward to your WIW's because you are incredibly stylish! Hugs!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I can't run due to bad knees. I even trained with a trainer and it was just pain and suffering. However, my thighs can do an 11 mile hike. Last summer I did this hike:

http://www.wta.org/go-hiking/h.....a-mountain

The last mile is straight uphill, no switchbacks then scrambling over boulders. That's what my thighs can do.

DonnaF

Veteran

CGDC; It is a sign you are meant to wear those pants because they fit you so well. Plus, you know how to style them so that they flatter your body. Shorter tapered pants are part of your clean, signature look (when you are wearing pants), so rock them as long as they are available! And btw, I would love to have your leg length. I'm pretty sure those pants would hit me at full length. But hey, my feet still reach the ground.

Also, you know how they say that cameras don't lie? I would venture to say that you can manipulate the apparent length of you legs by changing the height of your tripod and angle and distance of your camera. I think your camera angle is actually foreshortening your legs and making you think they look shorter than they do IRL.

catgirl

Veteran

You are 100% stunning, and I admire you every time you post. I totally understand your body issues, though mine are the opposite (upper body woes). It is uber-aggravating to me that I can't wear cute little tanks to climb and show off my shoulders because of my bust, or wrap dresses, or most buttondowns, or most dresses, and that my size deviates all over the place from brand to brand. You are not alone in your frustration.

That said, everyone else has given you great advice that I need to remember as well. I really just wanted to tell you that I look like you, especially in that haircut, in my DREAMS.

Vildy

Veteran

Photographs are not reality, no matter how many times you read the line that they don't lie.

In the shorter pants photos, the eye moves. So it will travel to the pop of red shoes and spring back up again. That's a lengthening movement.

Fashion often distorts for interest. Not at all saying you look distorted! But think of the recent years where the waist was very, very low and the torso exhibited as elongated. Completely unnatural and not very graceful proportions but stylish and looked "correct" to many people for that time.

I am wary of body parts being judged to be "too." When I was a young girl my boyfriend complimented my muscular thighs. I never looked back. So all those years when I could be wincing at my larger thighs, I enjoyed them instead. If I hadn't heard that one contrary opinion to the popular celebration of long, lean thighs....

Also, when a teenager our college prep Engish classes were bussed to hear Ray Bradbury. I was then reading various teen magazines and constricting myself in panty girdles they said I must wear and watching my under 100 pound weight and exercising. Bradbury made some remark about not liking those skinny models in bed, poking you with their elbows and all the guys in the audience laughed. Yes, I know some people are naturally slender but, again, that one remark gave me perspective that there were multiple points of view and that I shouldn't be taking
magazine editorials as gospel for myself. I felt angry and betrayed at first but then
exhilarated and freed and confident.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I think someone mentioned recently that they had decided to set their own priorities in the "figure flattery" department. Not every outfit has to meet every conventional goal -- you may be petite, but you don't always have to try to look taller.

In any case I think both of these look cute on you, and I don't see the shortening effect at all!

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