Love Your Bellies, Ladies - YouLookFab Forum

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Love Your Bellies, Ladies

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

OK Ladies- this belly hating has got to stop!
For most of us, our bellies were not designed to be perfectly flat. They have organs in there- wonderful organs that do amazing things, both to keep us alive and to bring new life. Those organs need a home, and your belly is it. Many of us who have had children have stretched out a bit and never gone completely back in. Be proud of that pooch! Embrace the belly like you embrace the rest of you. Nobody else is thinking that you look pregnant from the side- it's a trick of your mind, so please blow it away.
Love the Belly! (that is all )

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

And if you had no belly, how could you belly dance?

Astrid

Veteran

Well said.

Anonymous

Chewy, I know what you mean but we all have those moments where we wish we could change something about our appearances, and that's okay. That's the beauty of this site, we learn to dress for our goals (and yes, some people want to hide that "belly"), and I think that is okay too. Some people want to flaunt their bellies, some don't.

And lastly, people *do* say stupid things... Actually, one of my friends, who is an apple shaped, plus size, is about 7 months pregnant at the moment and oh boy, the drama. People are actually afraid to ask her anything - and are calling me- just to make sure that she is pregnant, before congratulating her. Why? Because they have been burned in the past congratulating her in her pregnancy when SHE IS NOT pregnant. So yea, it is possible to look pregnant when you are not, and that's okay too.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Khris. Love your dedication to positive body image.

Nice one, Lyn.

Zap, I like your devils advocate approach. There is truth is what you say too.

It's a much better idea to NEVER ask or assume that someone is pregnant. For a myriad of reasons it's just about the worst question that you can ask someone - and I'm not just talking about when they have a belly.

bj1111

Veteran

embrace the belly will be my new mantra

hmmm, maybe i can get my hubs to adopt the mantra too.

catgirl

Veteran

I'm guessing I prompted this post! I don't hate my belly, but I certainly dress around it and have no wish to flaunt it. Mostly it's how I look in pictures that bothers me. What can I say? It doesn't take up a lot of my mental energy but it does frustrate me wardrobe wise (much like muffin top) and I appreciate that YLF has many options for addressing such concerns!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I don't hate my belly either but I'd rather play it down than play it up

Thistle

Veteran

Great positive body image post.

Raisin

Veteran

Well said!

We all have our insecure moments though. I am happy that as I get older and wiser, those moments are fewer and my gratitude and acceptance for my body grows.

Here's a story. I had noticed that the portion of my belly below the belly button sticks out a little. Nothing major, it's just a little rounded. Can't complain too much but it's just not as flat since having 2 kids and endometriosis flare ups. But then one day I realized its only really noticeable from the view of me looking down on it. And I thought we'll no one else is ever going to have this view, so I might as well stop worrying about it now!

Whenever a little doubt or self consciousness sneaks in I like to give myself a break by remembering my body works hard, it's had 2 kids, it deals with stuff like endo, hypothyroidism, and GI troubles. So I should treat it well, fuel it well, exercise a bit and try not to stress out. We all have our days, right! It's just a matter of putting things into perspective and trying to love your body as best you can.

And there's no harm in dressing in whatever way makes you feel the best about your fab body!

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I've had a c-section so lower abs will never be flat, but I have the most incredible 26 year old son and it is well worth it!!!!

Thistle

Veteran

Very well said, Raisin!

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Una, it wasn't your post in particular, but what seemed to be a rash of the same kinds of sentiment in posts over a couple of days. We all have areas that we want to downplay, but the negative self talk just doesn't do any good for anyone.
It's time for us to realize that the normal and natural shape for many women is the rounded one that we may associate with early pregnancy. Check out some classic female nudes. See many flat bellies?
Let it go and love yourself- at least, that is what I'm doing

Anonymous

Amen.

Lantana

Veteran

Thank you for waving the flag for a bit of self love and self acceptance. My appearance is important to me and over the years I have variously felt myself to be too fat, too hairy, and too big-bottomed. Sigh. What a waste of energy. As I get older I try to be grateful for what I can DO, rather than how I look.
Another thing I have to remind myself to embrace are the occasional and perfectly natural downs that come with the ups of life.
Right now I am in mid winter and the energy levels are low; nothing to fret over and I know come spring my internal power house will crank up again. No point in fighting nature.

rae

(website)

Veteran

It is definitely sometimes hard to accept our bodies... some of us aren't able to look at a belly and know that it brought a child into the world. There are days when I think I must be an extra lazy and unmotivated person because I have less responsibilities than many women and yet I don't have my ideal body, either... so then I'm not just down on my belly but on my entire being.

I for one do appreciate the ability to discuss any body part we might want to downplay. If I don't see it when I look in the mirror, then I don't beat myself up about it! Candid discussion of body shape is healthy IMO.

That said, abusive language is not a part of this forum, and that should include abuse toward ourselves.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Just recently I've had some belly or muffin top to consider, but for most of my young adult life I felt I was a bottom heavy pear. I remember about a decade ago I mentioned offhandedly to a friend/coworker that I had been both 20 lb heavier and 10 lb lighter in the time that he'd known me. His response? He didn't notice one bit! And I'm talking about a ladies' man out on the town - a guy who would notice. So, I came to realize it was mostly magnified in my own mind. As an aside, 20 years ago I wanted larger breasts and now I realize mine fit great for my size. Makes me think growing into your own body (mentally) is a more prudent route than trying to change what you think is wrong.

Anonymous

I totally agree with you Angie! Unfortunately, people don't mind their mouths sometimes. Although, in this case, it was prompted by a not-so-clear invitation to a "shower", and we are talking about two somewhat close friends. For some reason, my friend decided to hide for most of her pregnancy, has not told anyone, so it seems, and all of the sudden, people are getting invites to her "shower". I am not really sure as to why, since she shut me out too, so it seems I respect that too.
I always play devils advocate, often to my own detriment.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I noticed, Zap. That makes you special. Oh goodness :(. Tricky situations surrounding bellies and baby showers. Lets all toast to our good health!

Gaylene

Veteran

This thread is an important reminder why we need to check our assumptions at the door. It's not easy to infer the reasons for someone's request for assistance. I totally support Chewy's point that negative self-talk doesn't do anyone any good, but I also am firmly with Una in preferring to dress around aspects of my body. It's possible to hold both ideas concurrently.

catgirl

Veteran

Gaylene made the point I was trying to make... Dressing to minimize a body part does not equate to hating it in my mind. It's all part of the fun of style challenge. Figure flattery is not even a priority for me most of the time, but I don't want to be actively unflattered either. And I appreciate honesty if I say "does this make me look pregnant?".... Better you all tell me than someone ask me out loud!

catgirl

Veteran

Oh and to Zaps point, I worked at a fancy toy store, a customer actually argued with my co-worker after asking if she was pregnant! She was all "oh, don't be shy, when's the due date, honey?". Appalling!

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I am never going to love my belly, but I am determined not to hate it, or any other part of my body either. Embracing what I have is very much a work in progress for me.

On a slightly different note... what ChewySpahetti said about looking at the classic nudes... that struck home for me - when I was 22 I had breast reduction surgery because I hated what I had. 13 years later, I have mixed feelings about the surgery - definitely some regrets. My work as a doula has allowed me to intimately see so many women in all their beautiful forms and I have come to realise that what I thought of as being ugly and abnormal is really actually quite normal and beautiful in it's way.

Lisa

Veteran

I am 100% on board with the body love. After all, you only get one body, why spend all your time hating it right? Thanks for reminding us!

Aziraphale

Veteran

Thumbs up to the body acceptance, and thank you, Chewyspaghetti, for reminding us.

I feel compelled to point out, though (because I'm argumentative and nitpicky), that female bellies aren't rounded because of our reproductive organs. I've heard this argument many times before, but it's incorrect. Unless it contains a foetus or a collection of bulky fibroids, a uterus is very small -- about the size of a pear. Ovaries are even tinier. Assuming her uterus is the normal size, if a woman's belly is rounded, it's because there is a layer of fat over top of the rectus muscles. And that's totally fine, and actually quite typical in a healthy woman. But a woman with a flat abdomen may be just as healthy, and just as womanly.

There is also no shame in trying to downplay a protruding belly. We employ lots of tricks to make our bodies appear more beautiful, and while each person's idea of what "beautiful" means is a little different, there do tend to be some points on which most of us agree. Not looking pregnant unless you are in fact pregnant is one of them, I think.

harmonica

Veteran

Yay for body love and yay for figure flattering dressing. Pregnant talk is sensitive stuff in so many ways, so better leave it in most cases. Thanks for the thread Chewy - important and needed!

Isis

Veteran

Great message, Chewy!

And I love this cartoon!

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ironkurtin

Veteran

I can love my body and still wish my stomach was flatter. Just like I can love my kid and still wish she'd pick up her room.

transition

I try to at least accept mine.

But I get enough negative/pregnant comments & looks that I find it very difficult. I have a short torso, small breasts, and a huge belly. I had a belly & was called "gutter" for it even at 5' 7" 110 lbs, and now at 40 as the mother of two it's much bigger.

Tears here, because I can't imagine ever getting to the point of "love."

Janet

(website)

Veteran

transition, I just do not understand how anyone could be so unkind as to call someone a name based on a "belly." I'm sorry.

I am striving for acceptance, if not love. Not for my belly, which I have always been fine with. Y'all already know my uneasy relationship with my hips and thighs. Some days I almost envy your belly woes because it seems all of you have beautiful legs, and bellies *seem* to be easier to camouflage.

However, I know that's my own warped perception, and that we ALL have bits we have to make an effort to accept or love. Well, maybe not Heidi Klum or Gisele. But all the rest of us mortals.