Looking frumpy and feeling frumpy can be different things - YouLookFab Forum

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Looking frumpy and feeling frumpy can be different things

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Una's thread on "what makes an outfit frumpy" was very interesting. It's good context for this thread:

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....its-frumpy

Una ended the thread by saying that Mo's new dress (Una's old dress) was frumpy on her but not on Mo. Now here's the interesting part, the dress didn't look frumpy on Una, but she FELT frumpy because she's moved on from that style (I agree that Una has moved on from wrap dresses). It's killer on Mo, who I hope will wear more wrap dresses!

So "frumpy" can also be a feeling - not just as aesthetic.

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from Sarah

Beth

Veteran

I'm finding that to be true as my style is slowly changing. Pieces I felt fine in a year ago feel very "eh" these days. They still look OK, but I feel frumpy and uninteresting in them. So they're either finding a new home or I'm trying to remix them in a way that feels fresher.

In fact, I'm not likely to ever again wear the outfit I'm wearing in my avatar. No way, no how.

celia

Veteran

This is so true and only in a comunitty such as this one we could arrive at this conclusions.
There are many rules about what each body type should or shoudn't dress, however sometimes what is technically correct can make us feel less than fabulous.
Last summer I was trying two dresses at a store, a wrap dress and another one without waist definition.Although I knew, and could see that the wrap dress acentuated all the good parts that the other one didn't, I could not bring myself to buy it because I felt predictable in it, like an advertise for the sensible stay at home mom wich idea of dressing up it to wear a wrap dress.(I'm not passing judgment it was just the way I felt about myself).
In my present case where I don't have a job with a specific dress code I feel much happier when I can dress in something unexpected, that somehow I feel that shows my quirckiness and sense of humor.
I totally agree with the idea that 'frumpy ' is also a feeling.

Kate

Veteran

I agree completely. I wonder how often the two overlap - I imagine that a lot of people who look frumpy don't feel frumpy (or recognize that they look frumpy), while some who don't look frumpy do feel frumpy (and perhaps think that they look frumpy even if they don't). I want to see a venn diagram of frumpyness!

Beth

Veteran

Celia, you hit upon a point that really resonates with me..."predictable" feels frumpy to me these days. If it's something I feel like I've worn a million times before, I feel frumpy even if the outfit is flattering.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Kate, EXACTLY!

Interesting Beth and Celia. I can still wear the same thing a million times over and not feel frumpy - like my pearl necklaces, trench coats, riding boots, skinnies, suit and button downs. Why is that?

I can also go through one season of something and be done with it - whether it looks fab or not - like a knitted top.

Beth

Veteran

Angie, I think for me "a million times before" really equates to "before YLF." I still feel a bit frumpy in heels and a pencil skirt just because that's been one of my looks for so long. Switch the heels for flat boots and all of a sudden I feel fab. Maybe that's a good example of feeling the psychological "frump." Cognitive dissonance, maybe?

Then again, I can't imagine you've ever looked frumpy on your worst day, Angie. No way.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*chuckle* and *blushing*

Beth, you have no idea how I find your "heels to flats" switch revolutionary. Not that heels and a pencil skirt look frumpy AT ALL - most of the time its a killer look. But I was trying to explain how flats can look (and feel) much more hip than heels in Una's first thread and you *just* confirmed it

Beth

Veteran

Too funny! And I hadn't read your comment on Una's thread before posting on this one.

Glad to be useful.

Debbie

Veteran

I definitely agree. Frumpy is a feeling for me. It can be a combination of things. As I get more education on what works for me. I feel less of a frumpy factor.

celia

Veteran

I doubt that Angie ever looks frumpy.:)
When I was talking about predictable it doesn't have so much to do with how many times I wear things but how a certain outfit makes me feel.
Beth example of a pencil skirt and heels is perfect.It is perhaps how society perceives a woman my age in certain ocasions should dress (and in certain people works great) but that's not who I am or what I want to show.
I'm still trying to figure out how much edginess I want in my wardrobe, but at least I know what makes me feel like I'm wearing my mother's clothes no mater how fab it looks to others.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Great point. I mentioned this in the other thread already, but my mother is the queen of frump. Yet she is a FEARLESS woman and I know she does not project a frumpy personality. I think she even thinks frumpiness is an asset because to her it says you are not vain or trying to look younger than you really are.

-- Denise

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I definitely believe there is an element of truth to 'those who are frumpy show little care over their style choices where as in order to feel frump requires forethought and an interest in style.'

For me feeling frumpy = cardigans. I have tried so hard to rid myself of the association but as of yet I have failed yet I love cardigans on others.

Lynne

Veteran

venn diagrams, frumpiness factors, cognitive dissonance.......this discussion is about to get really interesting! And with the fab YLF team on the case, an in-depth analysis is on its way for sure.

Slightly OT - how do you separate your style preferences from your clients, Angie? On one hand you advise a client (and us) what looks good, but you also do it so that they are in their own style zone.....would love to hear more about this.

Barbara

Veteran

One woman's frumpy is another woman's fab - case in point Una's dress on Mo.

It depends on style (the garment AND your own) and body shape. When trying on clothes, either new or thrifted, I know the SECOND I look in the mirror whether or not I have detoured into frumpville.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Yes! I know I always felt frumpy wearing floaty or girlie tops in the summer -- even though no one ever commented on it in a negative way. For the longest time, I just thought, well, *that's what gets worn in summer* so I had no choice. Dressing against my personality definitely makes me feel the frump pains!

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

I'm wondering if it's to do with our developing standards. When I dressed very unstylishly (=frumpy) I was quite happy with what I wore but even I had my standards of what felt frumpy, to do with unflattering fit, poor quality, bad proportions, unflattering colours.

I would feel frumpy in most of those outfits now, though, as my eye has adjusted to higher standards. I would also feel frumpy I think in an updated version of them, as it would remind me of my less stylish days and I have most fun these days with silhouettes that I never tried before YLF.

So feeling frumpy for me is to do with not living up to my own standards of quality, fit, style and having fun with fashion, while looking frumpy is more to do with not living up to other people's.

lynne

Veteran

Lynne, what a good question for Angie! I want to know the same thing.

Maya

Veteran

I think Angie shows how she does that right here on the forum, Lynne. Doesn't she?

She advises me to wear lots of things she can't or wouldn't wear herself. She advises Jean and Khris who both have completely opposite styles from her.

I don't find it that hard to tell the difference between objectively liking/disliking something and personally liking/disliking something, but I guess some people do. I can also tell pretty easily when someone else is being objective or not.

That doesn't mean I am always objective, just that I am aware when I am or am not. I think Angie and I both have a hard time being objective about maxi dresses...

By objective, I just mean being able to set aside one's personal preferences. Obviously nothing regarding fashion or style is truly objective.

marianna

Veteran

Great post. I *always* feel frumpy -- but that's because I'm never satisfied with what's in my closet, and I'm insecure about my style. I feel I dress too old! But the usual consensus is that I don't look frumpy. So, "frumpy" is definitely an emotion/feeling for me rather than a description.

crwilson

Veteran

Marianna - I would never, ever describe your style as frumpy, so that surprises me that you feel that way.

There are definitely items that make me feel frumpy - floral prints inevitably do that, as do button down shirts. I think that when I was in my early twenties, I dressed to hide my figure (namely my chest) as much as possible, and I ended up looking frumpy a lot of the time. I don't remember feeling frumpy, though - it's just that when I look back at pictures now, I cringe.

judy

Veteran

For me, frumpy has to do with movement as well as the flattering cut of the clothes. Both in look and in feel. Both on me and others. If I can't move well in something or if the proportions don't flatter, it can make me feel frumpy. Because in life we are in motion, moving with grace and ease in our well chosen clothes does a lot for looking and feeling stylish. So there are clothes that seem to swallow the frame or the movement of the body. And then there are other clothes that moving in them feels and looks good. Hope that makes sense.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

The word frumpy, to me, implies someone who is wearing all the requisite components of an appropriate outfit but they are worn, ill-fitting, or otherwise worn in an *inappropriate* way (i.e. not age appropriate, in both directions), so that the combination is embarrassingly inappropriate and the wearer themselves is unaware of this.

I don't think sloppy necessarily equals frumpy. I think in the case of sloppy dressing the wearer does not care, rather than is unaware. In the case of frump, the wearer has made an effort and believes him or herself to be dressed appropriately, but is not.

I may look frumpy from time to time, but what I *feel* is bored with my look, or uninspired - and not necessarily when I'm looking frumpy. I have, in the past, become aware of an outfit that was frumpy - but it's not right away. It may be hours or years after I've put it on that I realize this.

I think boredom is a different feeling. In my opinion, one cannot feel frumpy if one actually is frumpy, since by definition the wearer of frump is not aware of their status.

Lena

Such a great discussion. I wish my brain didn't feel cloudy today

What Celia said totally resonates with me. I could have written that post about wrap dresses.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Whenever I run across a thread like this I always consult Webster first to clarify my understanding of the terminology. According to my dictionary, frumpy is dowdy, ill-dressed or illtempered.

I "feel" frumpy when my hair isn't right or when my clothes don't fit right or "lay" right. If I am at home in sweats, I don't even have to look in a mirror... they just literally make me feel slothful and frumpy. Baggy jeans give me the same feeling. I'm sitting here squirming just thinking about it.
I think I "look" frumpy when things bunch up around my waistline, or when my bustline has added bulk. I look frumpy in boxy clothing.

Anonymous

My veterinarian recently called my sweet, long-haired white cat "frumpsy." (She's so frumpy she got her own word!) White cat with some tangles in her long fur = frump to that country boy. Is it all about the grooming?

Theresa

(website)

Veteran

Great Thread!

I think (well, for me), the feeling of frump has to do with evolving style - the more I evolve, the more I feel frumpy in my older clothes.

For example, I used to live in shorts - now, whenever I wear them, I feel frumpy - its just because I feel better in skirts, and I am now aware of that. I still look quite presentable in shorts (especially where I live LOL), but I don't feel presentable.

I find I go through periods where I feel frumpy and its usually when my wardrobe doesn't correlate with my evolving style. Does that make sense?

Oh and this made me remember that years ago, I told my ex-H that I felt frumpy in something, and he had no idea what the word meant, and thought I made it up LOL

catgirl

Veteran

Well, I'm honored to have prompted a spin-off thread!

I feel frumpy (meaning sloppy, dowdy or dull)

- in colors that don't suit me
- when I'm not exercising enough or am sick
- in the dead of winter when my skin is dry
- when my tights bag at the ankles
- in woven shirts
- in certain tucked looks

Interestingly, I do NOT feel frumpy in exercise gear or when I'm camping, when I probably LOOK my frumpiest. So much of it has to do with how healthy I feel physically and mentally.

Such a fascinating discussion and so much interesting fashion psychology!

As an aside: The wrap dress got a few raves as well as some no votes on me, but I just felt wrong in it somehow. I still believe there is a wrap dress out there for me (cue bluebirds twittering), but it will have to be a different cut, length and color, and I am not actively searching any more.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You ALL make sense – except Marianna who has the furthest thing from frumpy style and I *can’t believe* Marianna thinks she looks frumpy. I have NEVER seen Marianna look anything but flawless. Marianna - I hope you read this!

Judy, nice call including the movement of clothes when you feel frumpy.

Theresa: “I feel frumpy and its usually when my wardrobe doesn't correlate with my evolving style”. Brilliant.

Polly: “So feeling frumpy for me is to do with not living up to my own standards of quality, fit, style and having fun with fashion, while looking frumpy is more to do with not living up to other people's”. More brilliance.

Julie, I am down to two cardigans right now (Ted Baker and Pink Tartan). I am so on Team Pullover. You crack me up with your perception on cardigans.

Maya, thanks for chiming in on my behalf to both Lynnes. Both Lynnes, I would be a very bad fashion stylist if I could only recommend and like something that I would personally wear. It's a "style fitness" that I developed in my fashion buying days when I often bought for a department and target market that was polar opposite to my own. I deal with all body types, age groups, budgets and fashion personas and it goes without saying that I must see the style of my clients (and participants on this forum) through their eyes.

I don’t think that sloppy dressing is a notably large cause of frumpy dressing. I can think of countless people who look polished – yet frumpy.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Marianna, you do not look frumpy at all, but I know what you mean about looking old. Sometimes I feel that way too.
I feel frumpy when I think I look frumpy. I look frumpy when my clothes don't fit well or my hair is matted and frizzy.
Case in point, I felt frumpy this day:

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