Looking for a friend here, in need of fashion tips!

HeyJessie

Hi everyone!

My name is Jessie and I have a bit of a dilemma that has been bothering me since high school. Now it's eight years later and apparently I have yet to have a fashion sense. One of my good friends is a fashion designer and though I love her dearly, it seems that every time we go shopping, I go from very excited to get new clothes to feeling very insecre about what I think is fashionable. It seems that every time I find something flattering or cute she'll turn to me and kind of give me a shrug and a polite but obviously not agreeable "yeah I guess". What is it that I am doing wrong? She looks stunning. Always. But whenever I find something that I think she would like, I always end up coming up with opposite views of good clothing on my body.

I understand that we all have different tastes, but I think my problem lies a bit deeper than that. Now I even walk into the office in a shirt and skirt that I picked myself for example, and some of my co workers would come up to me and jokingly say they should come over and fix a few things about my wardrobe. Is there something that I need that everyone else has that I haven't developed yet?

I would really really like some suggestions of what I should wear in general since I have the sinking feeling I should start from scratch. I am definitely an apple shape with a big bust size but semi flat mid section. My butt isn't flat but it isn't endowed either. I am a size 6-8 and medium all the way.

Any tips at all would be greatly appreciated and thanks for making it to the end of my story. I am feeling down and out about what I wear on my back now and I could really use some help.

Thank you.

7 years ago

Body Type

11 replies

Latest reply was from KK

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Jessie I certainly hope the forum can help you. I think the first thing would be to go to Angie's blog site and look at some of the "advice" posts for body shape. The second thing to say is that I don't think your friend knows as much as she thinks she does. You may well have both a different shape and different taste to her. Your preferred style could be quite different to hers and that is fine, she doesn't have to make you feel insecure. The other thing, from experience, that may help is getting out some of your old photos, even ones from childhood, of clothes you loved, or of your mother's that you loved, and see if you can establish any common elements in them. You obviously have things that do sing to you, they do seem flattering or cute to you, and they may well be. Find someone on the forum who has a similar shape to you whose style you like and study what they wear and the suggestions we give to them. Some of us post quite a few photos- try Aida's posts, she is quite young and very stylish!
I think you just may need a little help for your style to develop and once it does you will be sure to get compliments when you "own" your outfits. Your happiness in them will be infectious. Please post pics when you can. Good luck.

7 years ago

Joyce B

Veteran

Welcome, Jessie! You came to the right place. Angie and the very stylish fabbers will help you sort that out. There are people with very different styles on the forum, you will get a lot of ideas and learn about what suits your figure best.
I would suggest that you post some pictures when you are able to, or at least some links. That will give us a better idea of what your questions are.
Also check the advice section on the main page, that will show you Angie's suggestions for different body types and occasions.
One of the great things about this forum is that people are celebrated for having their own style that makes them happy, it is not a one way for all. No two people will look the same, even in the same outfit. Visit the forum, post your questions and pictures and you will get the best advice and start enjoying fashion.

7 years ago

Tisa

Active Member

Hi, Jessie, welcome to the forum .

Perhaps you could start by telling us what sort of clothes you like: colours, patterns, fabrics, styles. Any preference you have gives us a valuable information about your taste.

People often look nicely dressed, because they know how to combine different pieces of clothing into an outfit. Perhaps you have a well stocked wardrobe, but simply don't know how to mix things well. Perhaps you're missing some crucial pieces that would pull your outfits together. Perhaps you aren't sure about silhouettes that flatter your body type. Maybe you aren't sure what colours would compliment you.

All of those things play a part in how a look comes together. It can be difficult to get everything right straight away, and that's OK. What works for someone (for example your friend), might not work for somebody else, so trying to replicate somebody else's style rarely works. This website is an invaluable source of advice an inspiration for anyone, so you've come to the right place.
Besides, YLF community is amazing, and I'm sure you'll get a lot of useful suggestions and answers to your questions on this forum. And what is even more important: people here actually listen to what one has to say, and are incredibly encouraging and supportive of everyone's individuality and personal style.

I hope you'll enjoy this website as much a many of us do, and that your clothing and fashion choices will soon turn into a fun part of your everyday life.

7 years ago

Lisa

Veteran

Welcome to the forum! The best thing is to start taking daily outfit pictures. If you are comfortable you can post them here and get advice on what to adjust for your outfits. Even if you don't post them, you'll get a chance to see how things look and fit on your body. The camera often shows us things we don't see in the mirror on our own. I have found it very helpful to review my outfits with pictures. Good luck!

7 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And another welcome from me.

7 years ago

cindysmith

Veteran

Welcome! I think pics would help these Fab folks give you suggestions. There is a wide range of styles represented here, from the classically elegant to the very dystopian "extra from the set of an episode of The Walking Dead" (which would be me some days LOL).

What these ladies are good at is suggesting garments or accessories that actually feel authentic to the individual they're trying to help. I seriously do like things that look very post-apocalyptic, and I completely freaked out over my sister's impending semi-formal evening wedding. I have nothing to wear and didn't know where to start. These wonderful people have given me suggestions that actually feel like something I would have chosen myself had I known they existed--even though none of these ladies is the type to take a scarf or some jeans out back and shoot holes in it with a shotgun like I have been known to do.

So if you're comfortable posting pics of things you like but people seem unenthused about, I bet they can find you some suggestions that would feel authentic to you.

Glad you're here!

7 years ago

Tisa

Active Member

Cindysmith, shotgun, really?! That's properly badass (in the most positive meaning of the word) .

7 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Another welcome. In addition to the suggestions you've gotten, try to pinpoint what it is that appeals to you about your friend's style, and about the style of other people you admire. Pinterest can be a good tool for collecting photos of outfits and items that call to you.

Ditto to the suggestions to figure out your body type and get comfortable with taking some photos of yourself and your outfits, to get a more objective look at what you're currently wearing. Even if you don't share the photos, it can be really, really helpful! I often take photos when I'm putting on an outfit I've never worn before, and I almost always take photos in the fitting room in stores now because it helps me see fit and flattery issues better than looking in the mirror.

Of course, if you choose to share pics here, everyone -- especially Angie -- is very helpful and encouraging!

7 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Welcome! All these YLF ladies have said smart things, IMO.

I'm an off-beat dresser myself, and my first thought was, I'd really like to know what some of these folks around you are criticizing. I don't particularly like looking 'sharp,' although I appreciate it on others. My goddaughter has great, creative style, but her mom doesn't like the creativity. I'll be honest, we stand together against mom on creativity, lol. Lots of eye rolling back and forth.

I'm just saying, we all have different tastes and any style can look good.

7 years ago

Greyscale

Veteran

Welcome!

Finding confidence and comfort with your style can take time but it can eventually become a fun process. I know I spent my college years and early 20s feeling like I never quite got it. My grad school roommate even staged a shopping intervention! I was basically happy with my look before then, which was all men's clothes, but she was right that it was time for a change. It's easy for things to just not quite work out in practice but that doesn't mean you don't have a great sense of style of your own. I always had a decent sense of my own style, but the challenge was figuring out how to implement the vision I had.

And I think you need a better shopping buddy than your friend.

7 years ago

(website)

Active Member

Making a pinterest board of outfits you're drawn too might help you pin down your style (no pun intended). I started doing that last year and it really has helped! You just need to make sure that you also keep in mind your body type. There might be some styles you like that may not work with your body. And maybe you'll discover something you'd never thought of wearing that you end up loving.

7 years ago

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