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Long haired ladies: How do you manage your hair?

Sylvie

Veteran

For the purposes of this discussion:

Short hair = Above shoulder
Mid-length = Past shoulder but above bra strap
Long hair = hits your bra strap.

I have long, naturally wavy hair but it's so unmanageable, it makes me feel less than fab. I won't use a hairdryer, flat iron or styling products on a daily basis because I don't think it's good for my hair. I wash it every two days, towel dry, comb out the damp hair with a wide tooth comb and let it dry in a braid.

For work, I braid it or tie it into a bun to keep it out of my face, but even then, wisps are always falling out. If not constrained, it will shed everywhere (worse than any pet), and I'm always pushing it around (so unprofessional). I do sometimes try clipping the front hair back and leaving it loose for social occasions, but the look is very "sweet" on me and isn't my style. For going out, I will flat iron it, which lets me leave my hair loose without going everywhere.

I have tried going short and it was *hideous* on me. For the past few years, I have been getting my hair professionally cut with layers 1-2x/year to a mid-length. At mid-length, my hair is short enough to put in a pony tail without giving me a headache, and more manageable. I miss my long hair though! My hair has grown long again since my last cut a year ago and I don't want to cut it down to mid-length again.

Oh wise ladies of YLF, what should I do with my hair? Should I just cut it back to the versatile mid-length and accept it? There seems to be very little point to having long hair if I have to fight with it every day and never get to leave it loose.

If you have long hair, I'd love to hear how you style it on a daily basis. Do you leave it loose? How do you tie it back? Do you use styling aids? Do you blow dry it every time you wash it? How often do you wash your hair?

1) Crazy long hair from a few years ago
2) Mid-length hair fresh from the hair dresser last year

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15 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I do have long, wavy hair like you. Some days it's curly and others just wavy. I wash it about every 3 days but always at least get the bangs/temple area clean every day. I'm not much for styling products, either, and I usually air dry. Have never used a flat iron in my life, so no help there. I find that as long as the frizz is under control, leaving it be to do it's own thing is best. Trying to coax it doesn't usually work!
Right now I have more layers than I care for, and it's making it kind of unruly. But once they grow out below the chin I'm happy with how it frees up some curl and bounce. I also tend to let my bangs grow out every year so I can experience both short bangs and long, swept to the side, layers months later.
When I do use products, it's only CurlySexyHair leave in detangler and/or an anti frizz serum like John Freida's.

EDIT: I put it up in a clip for work (restaurant) so when I'm off I normally leave it loose. Rarely do I braid it, but I put it in a ponytail to run.

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Meredith1953

Veteran

I have very short hair. I wash and blot the excess water out of it and then put a dimes worth of leave in condition and comb into place. Done.

Anonymous

Hi Sylvie, Of course everybody's hair & style is different, but since it looks like we have similarly thick, wavy hair, I'll share what worked for me when my hair was long: my hair was long (to the middle of my back) up until this year when I cut it because now that I'm approaching menopause, my hair is drier & it just kept getting all tangled past shoulder-length even with less-frequent shampooing & lots of conditioner. (I always let it air-dry rather than blowing it dry. I didn't use much product in it but I remember Aveda made a gel that I liked precisely because it worked in a very un-gel-like way & encouraged my hair's waviness with a natural, un-sticky look, & it smelled wonderful! I think I'll have to see if they still make it or a similar product.) When you said at mid-length you could put your hair in a ponytail without it giving you a headache, I could certainly relate to that because when my hair was long it was too heavy to wear in a ponytail. It sounds good that you braid it, though. Have you tried French braiding it? I found that French braiding spread the weight evenly so it didn't pull down heavily like a ponytail would have. I found long layers helped my hair look more flattering when it was long, & also helped it not be too heavy. Have you tried bangs of some sort? (I've never really liked bangs because they've always gotten in my way, but then they can look less severe than hair of all one length, so I'm thinking of wearing bangs again.) Anyway, I'm with you in looking for a way to stop having to be always pushing my hair out of my eyes/out of my way, so I look forward to hearing what others do! Right now, my hair is above my shoulders, but I'm going to grow it out to long enough that I can pull it back, braid it, etc. I think I know what you mean about sometimes clipping the front hair back but that it looks too "sweet", because I tried that & didn't love the look either. I do have several pieces of sterling "hair jewelry" that I love & that I feel like I've been able to wear successfully when my hair hasn't been so short that wisps stuck out all over the place (but I think some wisps can have a nice softening, flattering look) or so long that it was too heavy, & I am in the process of growing my hair out a little so I can wear them again. (I have a barrette, a ponytail holder, a large & a medium-sized hair clip, & a big hair pin.) And I tried pulling it back in a bun, but, like a ponytail, it was too heavy to wear in a bun & I felt like I looked frumpy wearing a bun, but I do admire the sleek sophisication of women who can pull off wearing them. (Occasionally I liked to put it up in a bun or chignon using the big sliver hair pin, so I think I'll work on getting that right when my hair is a bit longer--I think it will be a matter of playing around with some layers & a bit of wisps but not too much, & maybe bangs.) Thanks for asking a great question, Sylvie, & I'm with you in looking forward to some tips from others with long hair!

Megan

Aida

Veteran

My hair is currently just into long on your scale. I have curly hair, which is very fine and fairly thin. I wash every 3-4 days, using very little shampoo and only on my scalp, and then LOTS of conditioner which I focus on the ends and work back up. I do not towel dry, but scrunch the curls into a towel.

On wash days I use Bumble & Bumble’s Curl Creme For Fine Hair which I really like because it's the only curl creme I've come across that doesn't weigh down my fine, thin curls. When my hair is wet I use about a nickle sized amount; I focus the product on the ends of my hair and the hair framing my face, and gently scrunch the curls up and let air dry; after 2-3 hours I ruffle it up really good with my head flipped over On non-wash days (so, dry hair) I use about half the wet hair amount and add a little water. On some non-wash days I use a powder dry shampoo along my part, hairline, and at the crown, and will also lightly tease those areas to get a little volume if needed.

I almost never use my blowdryer (maybe like twice a year?), and also almost never brush or comb my hair. For sleeping, I pull it up in a bun right on the top of my head because if I don't the crown gets totally smooshed and I lose all volume there.

Half the time I wear my hair down because I like the organic vibe of the curls, and the other half it's up in a very high pony tail because I like how spunky it looks; occasionally I'll pull it only half up and fluff the crown up a bit for volume, also occasionally I'll tease my bangs and bobby-pin them back in a pouf while wearing my high pony tail, and lastly also I'll occasionally wear a bun in the summer. If it helps, you can look through my WIWs or my blog to can see my hair

rae

(website)

Veteran

My hair is shorter than it has been, but it still hits the bra strap. I have very straight hair, though. I use anti-breakage shampoos (Pantene, Nexxus) and heat-defense leave-in conditioner. I blow dry just enough that I won't get sick. Now that I have some layers, I use a very small amount of matte hair wax to add some RATE texture. I usually leave it down, because I don't like how it looks up at the moment, but I used to do buns and ponytails a lot. Honestly, my hair is so slick that there is not a ton I can do with it, since it won't hold styles well.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

I have straight hair like Rae. It is an inch or two above the bra strap. I do practically nothing with it. Wash with Suave Humectress shampoo and conditioner every 1-2 days, brush, air dry. That's it. I pull it back in a ponytail when I'm working. I barely have time to decide on clothes and haven't yet gotten around to doing hair and makeup! Like Rae, my hair won't hold curls or teasing very well so I never bother styling it.

Aziraphale

Veteran

First of all, I've got to say that you have beautiful hair. I can see why you like it long!

My hair is currently quite short, but I've had it long on and off throughout my life. Washing and blow drying it every two or three days didn't seem to be a problem, even when it was very long. I wouldn't worry about wrecking yours with a blow dryer. I used to only blow dry it about halfway, though, and I'd go in for a trim to clean up the ends every six months or so (they say you should go in more often than that, but I'm lazy).

Back then I didn't flatiron my hair, but I suspect that probably WOULD damage your hair if you did it every day. (I flatiron my short hair sometimes and it seems to be fine, but I've seen a lot of women with long, pin-straight, split-endy, dry looking hair. You can tell the natural straighties like Rae, because their straight hair is glossy and beautiful and looks, well, natural! Long-haired wavies and curlies who flatiron their hair every day often end up with dry, dull hair).

Judging by your first pic, I think your hair is a similar texture to mine -- thick and wavy, but can be straightened with styling aids, and will curl back up in the humidity, right?
I've never felt like mine was unmanageable. Maybe I have lower standards, haha. I sort of like the wavy, tousled look. And people used to make nice comments about my hair, so it couldn't have looked that bad, I figure.

Anyway, to answer your question about what to do with long hair: I used to mostly just leave it down and tuck it behind my ears if necessary. A touch of styling product would tame any frizzoids, but I'd have to be careful not to use too much. I agree that clips can be girlish and saccharine-sweet. Clips are not my favourite look, and consequently I've never mastered doing anything clever with them. I always used to have a few of those huge clips that look like bear traps, but those were strictly for getting my hair out of the way during a bath or while bent over the drafting table at home! I can manage a loose ponytail, bun or single braid, but that's about it. And really I preferred it loose, and if it were long today, I'd still prefer it loose.

One of the nice things about long hair is that it doesn't really need all that much styling. I was shocked when I got my first pixie -- I'd wake up with rooster tail city! When it's long, it pretty much looks the same in the morning as it does when I go to bed. If I were you, and I was really into the idea of having long hair, then I'd have it long -- but I'd get a good cut with some long layers to it, and ask the stylist about a styling product to separate out the waves. And then I'd leave it down most of the time. Braids are fine for sport, but you're right, what's the point of long hair if you're going to put it up all the time?

Mind you, I love how long hair looks in a loose bun. I like all the bits that fall out and frame your face.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Sylvie, your hair looks and sounds quite a lot like mine, from #1.

I know what you mean about the days it looks or feels plain unmanageable or less than polished. Mine's just hitting the small of my back right now, and I live in a high-humidity climate that is great for adding waves all over and twirly curls at the ends, but is awful for the frizz of shorter or 'new' hair all over the crown and around the hairline.

I'm not one for styling aids or products myself. Depending on how messy it gets (I live in a semi-rural area with less pollution, rarely getting into the grime of the city), it gets washed more or less often --- typically about once or twice a week. By 'wash' I mean using shampoo or cleanser (I like to use baking soda instead of shampoo for environmental reasons). On other days, I simply rinse in water while I shower. I usually add a last rinse with a spoonful of vinegar in a large mug of water --- this helps the hard water salts (big pain) to rinse out and helps the hair cuticles flatten back (pH changes their behaviour), which means less tangling.

I sometimes use a dollop of leave-in conditioner for curly hair, just from mid-length down, after a 'shampoo'. It's towel bundle, then air dry all the way for me. Don't own hairdryer or styling gadgets.

Mine too sheds badly. Actually I suspect it has to do with being dry, hence more brittle. And curly hair doesn't let go of loose hairs as easily when you comb, so I think that's part of the problem. I'll confess I never brush my hair --- makes the unmanageability exponentially worse. I comb only enough to detangle, typically just before a shower, then comb only the tops when gathering into a ponytail or bun.

Have you considered braiding or twisting your hair up in separate sections, two or three, rather than a single braid or bun? It helps with the weight, I find. With braids you can then twist them together or gather into a braided ponytail.

I also use hair sticks to hold my loose, messy, everyday bun together; for going out, I'll often add a large bun clip, the kind where you insert a stick through a curved 'fillet'.

I find looping up a ponytail, essentially doubling it over, also helps with 'managing' long hair --- sheds a lot less that way! Happily, this is now an 'in-style' trick.

It might be too young or crazy for some (what's your workplace register?), but I also sometimes divide into two sides and then twist into two smaller buns behind my ears. Pigtails meet Princess Leia! It's not for everyone or everywhere, for sure.

I also use these really flexible and long wire combs to hold the front in place while wearing my hair loose sometimes. Or two combs fixed behind the temple.

And when my hair is going entirely mad (typically frizzing from humidity or static), I often just reach into my bag for moisturiser, just rub my palms together and smooth from hairline to crown, then near the ends again if needed.

Also, how do you feel about hairbands? I like thin wiry ones and broader stretchy fabric ones myself.

PS: Aida's hair I've always admired, so it's great to hear her regimen! Amazed to hear she never combs or brushes it!

Sylvie

Veteran

Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful responses. I am so sorry I didn't update this thread all weekend. It was an unexpectedly busy few days and I didn't have the time to read and respond properly.

Mo: You have really beautiful hair. I can't believe your hair just falls naturally into frizz-free waves with air drying and without styling.

Meredith: Just rub it in, why don't you? Your hair routine is enviably quick.

Megan: I had bangs when I was a little girl and have avoided bangs since then, but maybe I could consider trying side swept bangs. What kind of bangs are you considering? I find that layers look great when one's hair is loose but stick out at all angles when hair is braided. It's always a tradeoff.

Aida: I have always admired your well groomed, contained yet voluminous, curly hair. Thank you so much for sharing the specifics of your routine, as I am going to see if some of your techniques will work for me. I think scrunch drying will help me a lot, as well as your curl cream/conditioning strategy.

Rae: Your hair is so beautifully long and glossy. Whenever I cut my hair to midlength, it's seeing hair like yours that always makes me envious and want to grow it out again. I use hair wax too occasionally to style my hair but need to be careful to not get it too greasy.

Natalie: Yet another lucky person who has beautiful hair with minimal management. I'm glad I'm not the only person who needs their hair pulled back while working.

Elisabeth: It sounds like the main difference between your long hair and my hair is that you managed to find a product that would tame your frizzies. It sounds like I just need to find a product that I can work throughout all of the hair that will keep the waves somewhat contained.

Manidipa: Thank you for chiming in, as I was hoping to hear from someone with the same ethnic heritage, and therefore the same hair type. I have been wanting to go shampoo-free, so I am encouraged to hear that baking soda and vinegar works for your hair. A single low braid never gives me a headache - it's just the flyaways that bother me. I was put in Princess Leia buns once for a play at school. I challenge you to post a photo of yours. For hairbands, I use anything that is smooth all over, never with a metal join as that will just rip hair out.

I do need to go in for a haircut soon, and I'll let the hair stylist continue to cut layers into my hair. I'm going to try keeping the length though, and experiment with some of the techniques you've all suggested. Thanks!

fashionista

Veteran

I surfed net, counsulted my frens and families, I never left any stone unturned to manage my hair earlier when they were short and frizzy. Then I decided to grow it longer and now I have waist length hair styled in layers with the shortest length touching my eyebrows. Then I started my own hair ritual that has given me so much satisfaction than all the suggestions I received. Like you, I wash my hair, condition it and let it air dry. I have blow dried or styled my hair only thrice in my life after 18 ( I am 29 now). I oil it every week and also go for deep condition treatment once a month. Now my hair is manageable and soft. So maybe letting it air dry was my best decision I made for my hair.

I seldom tie it with rubber bands, but I do use accessories like hair clips, headbands etc for some cute vibes. At work I just leave it in its natural texture. And I am happy.

In pic, I am at office and my hair is just to happy to move here and there. (And there's YLF in the back ground)

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teeandcee

I feel your pain. I have long, thick, and textured hair. It's slightly wavy but mostly just textured. In other words, if I run a brush through it it frizzes out like curly hair. And I shed like crazy too. I'm kind of glad to hear of someone else who sheds as I've worried about it for years. I can't wear a ponytail unless it's high enough that some of the weight is on top of my head. I don't use any product as it doesn't make any difference with my hair.

Here's what I've been doing in the last year in my attempt to tame it:

* I "shampoo" with conditioner. I haven't put real shampoo on my hair in over a year. This gets it as clean as shampoo without the drying. I do this every other day.

* I don't towel dry my hair. I'll use the towel to squeeze some of the water out then I flip it upside down, pull a large t-shirt over my head, wrap my hair in that, and wear it around for about 45 minutes. If I then choose to blow it dry it's finished in 10 minutes otherwise it dries nicely this way on its own. The t-shirt creates less frizz and is better for your hair as it's softer than a towel.

* I just discovered using rags to create curls. Here's the tutorial I used and it turns out great. I'm LOVING being able to wear my hair down and looking good. I use pantyhose rather than socks as they dry quicker.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXsCxRjPFw4

* If you do a search on YouTube for "braids" you can find all types of fun ideas. I get a lot of compliments when I waterfall braid mine. And there are a gazillion videos of different ways to style long hair on YouTube.

suburbiana

Hello.
I just recently cut my thick wavy hair (almost to my waist) into what would now be touching my bra strap.
I wash every 3 days (I know a lot of people shudder when they know that) in the winter time. I wash every 2 in the summer time just because I sweat more.
The first day I wash, condition and apply frizz ease thermal and a curling balm. I let my hair dry on its own (takes almost half the day) and it looks mostly curly. The next day I apply more heat protectants and flat iron. The third day I do a pony tail.
In the summer time I often put my hair up in a bun several days in a row. It keeps me cool and still presentable. Plus since I wash more often, I figure not flat ironing it on day 2 is buying me healthier hair in the long run.
Also, I do visit my stylist every 2 months to get the ends trimmed and layers adjusted to lay better.

Anonymous

lol if hair falling to bra strap is long, then my hair length is extra long - it falls to the start of my bum (plan to keep growing tho. ^_^;;)

Here's my regimen for my extra-long, curly hair.

Sunday - If weather is more than 80% humid, put a very light coating (1-2 dime-sizes) of olive oil to control frizz. and/otherwise scrunch hair and go.

Monday - same as above. but if weather is not as humid, then just lightly scrunch hair and finger comb and go.

Tuesday - same as above but if more than 80% humid, put light coating (1-2 quarter sizes) of olive oil for more frizz control. and/otherwise scrunch hair and go.

Wednesday - same as above.

Thursday - same as above but put medium coating (2-4 quarter-sizes) of olive oil depending on humidity. use Wen comb to comb lightly, or scrunch and go if hair behaves.

Friday - same as above.

Saturday - morning: massage scalp and hair with olive oil (usually 2 cup-of-my-palm sizes) afternoon: wash hair with Wen lavender following it's instructions to a T (tried to do otherwise before but it was a disaster). Put 1-2 pumps of Wen at end as leave in conditioner and air dry.

That's it, no other things needed. My main hairstyle is to have a small clip at crown in a half-pony and half down-do style but depending on how the weather is and how my hair behaves, i leave it open.

I don't usually do any other styles much mostly because I'm too lazy but also because I don't like to go against how my hair wants to behave and the humidity in weather. I tried going against them before but that resulted in thinning of my hair volume for some time especially when I used with other products. But since then, I learned my lessons and now this is my lazy but chic regimen.

But if the weather is really hot, I do ponytails but can't stand it after 4-5 hours since I would get headaches from the pressure at scalp. But hey, thank God for those beautiful clips. ^_^

Anonymous

I realize this post is older, but I have experience with this issue. I have thick long hair, to my bra band, it is naturally wavy. I get lots of compliments on my hair so I will be happy to share my routine with you. I wash and condition my hair every 3 days
Note: I have used SO many different shampoos, some very expensive, which I never liked very long. Then I found Suave "Everlasting Sunshine" shampoo and conditioner....I'm in LOVE with this stuff!! + it still smells so good after 3 days!)
The reason I wash so infrequently is:

1.) I color my hair
2.) Styling holds so much better when it's not squeaky clean!
3.) It's healthier

After I wash my hair I also use a spray on conditioner to de-tangle. Then, I blow dry it quickly and completely. Once dry, I use a curling iron for body, spray with a strong hold hairspray and voila....my hair is full and bouncy!

On off days I use a curling iron or rollers for body. Sometimes I pull it up in a twist or 1/2 up, or in a loose side ponytail (never a tight or severe style). I don't ever let my hair air dry, it just doesn't ever look good when I do.
I also don't use a flat iron because my hair looks better with bounce and wave. And I don't use mousse or gel, as they really weigh my hair down!

I hope this is helpful to you!!

catgirl

Veteran

I gotta say, I really love your second photo, but I know my hair never looks like it does the day I get it cut and styled!

When my hair was really long (nearly to my waist) all I did was yank it back into a ponytail. Now that it's long in front but not long enough to tie back, I'm finding it to be a pain in terms of getting caught in my phone, belay device, food and anything else available. Also it blows around and gets into my lipgloss or glasses. I'm finding it highly aggravating.