My family has had a rough few years. My sister died unexpectedly August 2015 at age 44. It was a rare heart issue, a dissection of the aorta. She left behind a husband and four young daughters, at the time ages 9 to 16, now 11 to 18. You might have seen me mention this before, even though we were 8 years apart and she lived in Alabama and I in Michigan, we were very close and I miss her every day.

Three weeks ago, my mom and I were in Alabama for the graduation of my sister’s oldest daughter and we got the horrible news that my brother, just turned 54, has brain cancer. It is very virulent, fatal. He has gone from working and golfing to being bedridden and only able to speak a few words in just two weeks, to now being unresponsive. He lives in Florida so my husband and I traveled there two weeks ago to be with him and his family for a few days (he has four sons, youngest just graduated from high school). It was such a heartbreaking experience but so good to all gather together. He knew me and I was able to talk to him, tell him I love him, reminisce about the past and reassure him that I will do all I can for his wife when he passes away. He sleeps a lot and hasn’t eaten in two weeks. They say that he will sleep more and more and eventually fall into a coma before passing away. The timeline is never sure but my own guess is maybe a week or less.

To say that we are devastated is both an understatement and overdramatic. It’s more like a bad dream and I am walking around in a depressed fog. My mom is having a very hard time, you don’t expect to lose your children. My dad passed away nine years ago so she doesn’t have his support through this. My SIL is being amazing. She is normally very introverted but she welcomed us with open arms and had a houseful of guests. She is taking such good care of my brother, talking to visitors, being in the moment. I have another brother and sister but missing these two will be a huge hole in our lives. I am the oldest and guess I always figured we’d go in order – of course that doesn’t really happen does it.

My SIL posted on our family FB page last week “I am reminded
during this time that all of our days are numbered. Sitting next to a
relatively young husband, I am thinking what are we all waiting for? Start
living today. Not when you are older. Not when you have money. Not when you have your dream job. Now! Not foolish or reckless living, but full living and true-to-you living.” So true and maybe a little obvious but sometimes it takes a situation like this to hit you over the head with truth.

Thanks for letting me share our story here, sometimes it is a relief to just get it all out. Any prayers and thoughts are always welcome.

I just wanted to let you know that my brother passed away late Tuesday. It was very peaceful and his wife and two youngest boys were with him. It was two days shy of one month since they found out he had cancer.

Thank you all for the wonderful support. This is such a great place to find caring, thoughtful women. I have read and appreciated every one of your comments. I haven't been much in the mood to think about my clothes recently (I know crazy right!) or felt like participating, but I know I will be back soon.