Dearest Shannon: Some compromise is hard --- and this one would be tough for me, too. The ability to grow in compassion when dealing with someone who can "push all your buttons," is a sign of a powerful, peaceful woman.

I pray that your family will make a few more good memories with your MIL.

You are amazing, Shannon. I don't know if I could find it in myself to be so kind, wise, forgiving and far-sighted. You will never be sorry for the decision you've made.

Shannon, you are a special person for sure! I also think you are the best DIL ever! This is a very wise and kind solution.

Thank you for sharing this story. I feel peaceful all over just reading it It is making me think of situations where I can give up being "right" and find a way to cooperate.

I love you even more today :). I found some inspiration in your post. You are a beautiful woman. Inside and outside

I hope I'll remember this story whenever I face difficult compromises with caring for my parents (hopefully still a long ways off). This embodies grace, to me. And I can tell your MIL truly appreciates it.

Shannon, I'm so sorry about your MIL and you have the heart of an angel. xo

Shannon your grace, kindness and understanding are truly remarkable!! I am not sure I could be quite so generous. You are an inspiration to all of us dealing with aging and ailing parents.

Shannon, what can I say? You are a true gem and it sounds like your MIL knows it. We sure do!

This is the best thing you could have done for solving a big problem. Proud of you!

Shannon, thank you for sharing this. It resonates with me on so many levels. Blessings to you and your family.

That's wonderful, Shannon. You truly are an example for the rest of us.

shannon i have a small tear in my eye reading your story,i will try and be more patient with my own in laws.

Shannon, reading about your big-heartedness just expanded my own heart a little bit. Thank you.

Shannon, you are an angel. Your MIL is so lucky to have you. I am so glad you found a way to work things out that is still keeping your son's health safe.

I really feel you've done the right thing by putting aside the fight/flight, and looking for - and finding - the "third option," Shannon. Good work.

I want to thank you all SO MUCH for your kind words - you've filled my heart

Please know that I didn't post this by the way to "toot my own horn" or anything like that. I posted it as a learning experience in case anyone else should face this type of situation.

I wish I had spoken with the Addictions Counselor earlier and learned why my MIL makes the choices she does. It's not to be mean or spiteful. And I'm ashamed to admit that at one point, I thought it was.

I'm finding that learning to be more compassionate and developing empathy for others is helping me to grow as a person, even when it is difficult at times. And putting myself in someone else's place is far more important than "being right" - a trait I'm trying to change in myself. I'm a stubborn little woman and I like to be right. I guess we're all a "work in progress".

What a terrific attitude you have Shannon--I could learn a thing or two from you. Like you said, it's not like she has much time left anyway. Stopping smoking at this point wouldn't save her life. How wise you are to want to enjoy the time with her that you do have left. How nice of her to arrange for some reconditioning in your house as well.

I really have nothing to add, just I agree 1000% with all the others here You really are a magnificent lady

Oh, Shannon, you are such a loving, kind, compassionate, giving woman and a truly wonderful daughter in law.

Thank you for sharing this.

I haven't read the other comments but you are a good woman...all caps

Bless you for taking the high road

Shannon, this is so inspiring! I think it's amazing that you were able to find a compromise that really worked for everyone. You may feel like you are a stubborn person, but you had an openness of heart that prompted you to find out more about the addiction instead of just sticking with the anger. So you have a very gentle, open side, I would say :^).

An awesome post! So much peace from doing the right thing!

Bless you for the compassion you are showing your MIL. It has to take a lot of strength. What a great example for your son.

I truly believe if my father had not smoked he would be alive today, and even knowing so I don't know if he would have been able to quit.

Hugs to you dear Shannon. Your strength is inspirational.