Letting go after changing sizes

Maybe it's just me, but it's so much easier to let go of clothes that have become too big for me than those that have gotten too small.

Although evidence (scientific and proven by life experience) says it is far more likely one will regain weight than lose it again, I struggle mightily to let go of clothes I loved when I was many sizes smaller.

It's been happening in fits and starts over the years as I realize my tastes and lifestyle have changed to the point that those items would likely not work for my life again even if I do get into shape and back into that size. But some things are harder to let go of than others. A black and white dotted blazer I always felt good in; a white blazer I stalked Winners for an entire afternoon to find in my size; suits I spent hundreds of dollars on and barely ever, or never, wore.

I did a lot of purchasing in February and am finding that is inspiring me to take another stab at it. Better to have a smaller collection of things I can legitimately wear than a closet full of self-reproach...

This will be easier said than done when it comes to saying goodbye to a few pairs of white jeans I have loved over the years... But I'm going to try!

4 years ago

Anonymous

I understand this all too well. However.......I still firmly believe, even after many ups and downs in weight and size, that having things in your closet that don't fit well serves no purpose. Motivation ? Not for me. Sure, there are pieces we wish we could wear again, but as you've already noted, most of them wouldn't stand the test of time anyways. I'm not a fan of a huge wardrobe, so maybe my thoughts aren't shared by many, but they are what they are. I also have tried to change my mindset from " my better , good size " and " from when I was in shape and looked good" to the body existing on a continuum that reflects a life lived.

CarolS

Veteran

You'r so right, Lisa. Years of thinking I'll wear some of these things again has not made one bit of difference other than limiting my ability to find options that DO work. Admittedly, shopping is pretty tough for me right now because I have proportion challenges that make it hard to get a proper fit. I like that idea of body on a continuum reflecting a life lived.

Barbara Diane

I love the continuum/lived life idea.
I remove clothing that doesn’t fit from my closet. If something is too small but I honestly and realistically believe that it will both fit again and not look dated, and I like it, and it is in good condition, I save it in a holding zone. I am difficult to fit so it is nice to have some clothes to wear while losing weight that I don’t need to spend time shopping for or spend money on.
I also have a different place for sentimental clothing. Both mine and familial.
For psychological reasons I don’t save larger sizes, although financially it would certainly make sense,

MsMaven

Some things might be worth hanging onto. After several years of not wearing my leather jackets, I have lost weight again and now can wear them. Happy I didn't give them away yet, although I was planning to.

Formal dresses and my cashmere coat are now gone onto new homes, although just now I just remembered that my most expensive dress might fit again if I lost a couple more pounds. Well, no and no. 1987 dress with big shoulder pads? And where on earth would I wear it.

Sorry, just got started reminiscing . . . I do have room to store stuff, but I've decided not to keep my larger clothes for now. There are people who can use them.

Barbara Diane -- I mostly move things to another closet for 'holding' too -- but then the hold gets a bit long and I wonder why I am devoting sooooo much space to it. I decided to say goodbye to some MUCH smaller clothes today. Not everything, but a few that I figure are pretty far out of reach. Still holding on to a few sentimental favourites.

A few others I've pulled out to assess how "close" they are. Will reassess those as summer gets closer.

Ms Maven -- lol to the big shoulder pads dress. And agreed, there are people who can use some of these things while I'm living in the past waiting for them to magically fit again.

April

Right there with you, CS. It is desperately hard to let go of the idea that smaller is always better.

I have an illness that has at times caused my weight to go quite low. It did not help that when I was at my most emaciated, I was also getting the most compliments on how great I looked.

I am back to a normal weight for me, but it felt like such a defeat to let go of those tiny clothes that were nonetheless drooping off me. I never felt that way about passing along things that were too large.

Trying to get over this, but it's a process for sure.

Preppy Pear

I have dropped the baby weight SLOWLY- the baby is almost 5! I find myself getting attached to certain items that no longer fit, and I have replaced a few things in my proper size using resale sites. But I’ve worn a big range of sizes over the years. I haven’t usually had much problem letting go of things that don’t fit - bigger or smaller. They make me sad hanging in my closet, but once they are gone, I don’t miss them, unless it’s an item I rely on and need to replace. I only store things that are out of season or stuff I need once in a blue moon - like clothing for winter sports. I have a hard enough time keeping organized and putting outfits together- stuff I can’t wear would only make it harder.

Jenni NZ

My problem has been sentimentality more than anything, Carol. I have a “deep and wide sentimental streak” as described by one of our Fabbers, and I think that’s accurate! I get very sentimental about clothing that marks important times in my life, like graduation or similar, if I still really like it. Which I tend to, since I don’t think my tastes have changed all that much. The big shoulder pads of the 80s are the most difficult, but when my big-shouldered Thai silk jacket didn’t sell at the consignment vintage shop last year, I brought it home again! The similar skirt did sell, and while I wasn’t that concerned about getting money for it (since I spent the money to buy it in 1988) I hoped maybe having paid good money for it the new owner might love it too.
I reckon I could be in my 80s before I fit the two tiny dresses from my 20s again...by which time they would be 60 years old! One is silk also though, and at 35 years old still good...

April, thank you for your thoughtful comments. I'm sorry to hear of your health challenge, and I hope a return to a more normal weight is a sign that you are doing better.

Hi Jenni -- there are definitely some sentimental pieces in my stash.But much of the nostalgic feeling I have is for the trim body that inhabited those items -- and for how easy it was to move and live in that body. I like Lisa's description of our body on a contiuum. Even if I get down to that weight again, it will be in a mid-fifties body, not an early forties body or a twenties body. I moved a lot of things to the donate pile today -- probably a few more will head that way before the weekend is done. Except for a few that hold extra special memories...

Thanks for your comments, Preppy Pear --it IS sad looking at things that don't fit. And I agree that life is hard enough to keep organized without storing a whole bunch of clothes you can't wear. Today I all but emptied at least one drawer that was pretty much filled with jeans that don't fit anymore -- by a lot. That's space I can use for legit clothes!

Jaime

(website)

I try not to keep clothes that I could not wear tomorrow in my closet, but do store clothes that are within a size either way elsewhere. My weight, and more so size, has fluctuated and a few pound either way make a difference on a short, small frame.

I've made my peace with saying goodbye to things that are several sizes away from fitting, but have held on to others that are "close" with plans to monitor and re-evaluate as we get into spring and summer. The challenge for me is that once I put things into the "holding area" they get forgotten...

Great insight into yourself. I applaud your wisdom and your journey. Despite the emotional toll, I encourage you to try to purge those clothing items (however well loved) that no longer suit your lifestyle. I know from past experience that once they are gone, a sense of relief descends and you can begin the task of resolutely building a wardrobe that does suit your current tastes and current lifestyle. You won't look back.

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