LET GO - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

LET GO

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Ok dudes and dudettes, give me your advice. I have way too much trouble letting go of clothes that are thrashed but “could still be worn.” Blown-out leggings, dresses whose fabric is worn to transparency, tees with cat-claw holes, etc.

My excuse is always “but I do have a messy life, and these could be worn on days when I’m painting/cleaning/whatever.” But let’s admit it: when you keep those items then you KEEP WEARING THEM. Instead of wearing the prettier newer things that you are “saving.”

Please tell me how you pry your fingers off of clothing that is unflattering and damaged. Share your tricks for letting go!

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from bj1111

Greyscale

Veteran

A while back, I conquered this problem by being a lot more intentional about putting together outfits. Not planning ahead, just thinking of some things as my 'real' clothes.

For the specific case of clothing that's sort of worn out but useful: My first step is to physically move the "play clothes" to a different drawer. Then I almost never use it for normal outfits.

But then you have a new problem: the play clothes pile up. Let's say I have 2 dance classes a week and a total of maybe 12 days a year of working in our art shop and a few days of gross cleaning. These are the only times I need those ratty tees (I don't wear gear tops). So I really don't need all 30 of them. But things only leave when they're so ratty that I turn them into cleaning rags.

I'm about to move to a house that's half the size of my rambling, oversized Victorian apartment (but much more functional) so I've been thinking of how to make myself pare down the less-than-perfect clothes...

Jane

Veteran

Hi Jessikams, I had a very large clear out late last year. I did feel a huge amount of anxiety around it, these pieces could be worn, such a waste of money to throw out stuff, and so many other time consuming thoughts.

Nearby is a fab charity shop, and they are so grateful for my donations. I passed all the clothes to them, and I am on first name terms with the assistant. I go there about once a month.

In the end, I got to the stage, where the clothes I wasn't wearing was taking up so much head space, I just simply couldn't hear anything else. So I 'just did it' and had sufficient resolve and resilience to spend a good few hours doing it.

I felt so much better afterwards, that now I do it on a regular basis and have promised myself to not get to the stage where the noise is so noisy in my head that I can't think straight.

Gigi

Veteran

This is a tough problem for most of us! What helps me is to think about how I feel about clutter and having an unmanageable amount of clothes. Having to root through older stuff to find the stuff I want to wear is irritating for me, so I think about how much freer I feel when I've cleared out all the old stuff so I can find the new stuff.

Kate

Veteran

I can’t help you, Jessikams, but I can sure commiserate!

I have the same problem. Messy life, 4 cats. Gardening, cooking, home repair (painting, drywall repair, really anything that needs doing outside of most plumbing and just anout all electrical, which I leave to the professionals). The only times when my clothes are safe are when I’m in my home office working or on the way to an appointment. I always dress up for my tailor—such a pleasure!

I’m afraid the answer may be that our cat-clawed tees, and faded, ripped paint-stained jeans play a vital service in our lives. We just have to limit the hours we spend in them, and be willing to change out of them as tasks demand. Boy, I am lazy on that score.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

First step: removed some to a separate area I n my studio. To be worn when painting only!! They are in a smallish cloth bag, so when that bag gets full I’ll have to clear some out to trash or make into rags.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh gads. I just looked at a sweater with a pulled thread and said to myself that it should go. So I pushed the thread to other side with a knitting needle, folded it up and put it back in the sweater basket. Then I was folding laundry and noticed a top was starting to pill. From 2017, so I figured it’s had a decent life and could go. You guessed it, I folded it up and put it back in the closet.

I’d say let’s swear a pact to run right now and get rid of these things... but you know I’d betray you behind your back...

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I have a large plastic bag in a separate shelf which is the “painting clothes”. I actually wore some today because I literally was painting fence slats: the landscaping on the new house is happening right now and we agreed to paint the boards before they got put up. It is so expensive anyway that a little bit we can do helps. I have clothes for both warm and colder weather in there. Other ragged clothes go to the “clothing bin” which sends those for rags and raises some money for charity. Just do it!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I m afraid that I’m no help as I too have painting clothes.They go out when they fall apart but I’m comfortable with this as It feels better to have totally worn something out from an environmental point of view.Other than that charity shop donations benefit from my clothing excesses but the clothes have usually spent some time in a’thinking about it”bag before they go!

LaPed

Veteran

I do more or less what Greyscale does. I draw a clear physical distinction between "home clothes" (under-bed drawer) and "out in the world clothes" (closet), that way chore clothes never sneak into my day-to-day outfits. If the quantity is overwhelming, you could set a quota for yourself (eg, no more than three pairs of ratty pants); that way, you're forced to purge instead of letting things accumulate. Treat it like any other capsule, and keep it curated.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I don’t have that problem — my ratty stuff goes to the ranch until it dies or I get totally sick of it. I have very little conflict in my mind about getting rid of clothes that are worn-looking — in fact, I feel like it gives me a good excuse, in that I’ve worn it “enough” to justify owning it and letting it go.

I have way more trouble getting rid of things that are in good shape and fit but that I just don’t wear. That for me is much, much more difficult! My brain is all: but it’s in perfect condition, it’s so nice, it wasn’t cheap, I may want this someday... and it goes back into the closet and makes me feel guilty.

Anonymous

Playlist with the theme from Frozen and Red Hot Chili Peppers "give it away now"
I'm good about passing those things on-unless I don't have a replacement yet (too thin sleep leggings...), or really love them (too thin embroidered jeans). If things are in bad condition I feel bad about myself, so end up not wearing them. Easy to pass things on then.
Messy activities clothes though, is ok to be a category. The things needed for fixing house or car, painting, gardening, rolling down hills with kids, etc. Depending on how often you do those, you may need one outfit or multiple!
Also-if you have those clothes donation bins, they recycle textiles so they're not going to a landfill.

Bijou

Veteran

I think I could have written Janet’s response, although I don’t have a ranch. This is a good thread and definitely editing down items in good condition that fit is tricky.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

High five, Bijou!

For example, I just added a sweater to the donate bag with zero conflict even though it was much loved and worn — an old Vince burgundy sweater I got on sale a few years ago. It had developed a hole in the shoulder and some pilling, which made it feel very unfab when I wore it. I have enough loungewear so off it went. Sometimes I’ll retire an older piece of loungewear to make room for something like that, but it’s a dry-clean-only piece and ain’t nobody got time for that when it comes to loungewear!

nemosmom

Veteran

Fellow ratty-tee repeat wearer here! 2 cats, loads of hardcore house painting, remodeling, bleach, cleaning, yardwork, 2 young boys who love mud and mess...

Asking yourself why you keep reaching for those ratty things is helpful. Are you starting your day with the intention of actually DOING those cleaning/painting things? Or have you gotten caught wearing good clothes while painting and ruined/stained something?

Part of my reason for repeatedly reaching for those worn rag clothes was habit - one that I simply needed to break. I'm nodding along with Janet, LaPed, and Greyscale that moving them to another drawer/room away from your OITW clothes is super helpful, as is paring down the collection. When I pared down, I kept really REALLY ratty pieces and let the nicer
of the crappy clothes go, knowing I'm less likely to wear the rattier
pieces out and about. On days that I am OITW wearing nicer stuff, I try to change before starting anything messy, but when I'm lazy and don't change my clothes, I have a thick men's jacket I can use as a "smock" at home to quickly throw over my outfit if needed.

Anonymous

How many painting clothes does one really need anyways? I wear one painting outfit per job, then throw it out when I'm done. It's usually some sweatshirt and leggings or jeans that I no longer care about. I don't like the negative feelings and energy that crappy looking clothes bring into my closet - not to sound too woo-woo or anything - and I am actually happy to have a reason to get rid of them (using them for my next gardening or cleaning binge ).

Molly Mac

Veteran

I think of my "housework clothes" almost as a capsule wardrobe. What do I need for yard work, heavy house cleaning, home projects? The reality is I need very few pieces as I am only able to do this type of heavy labor on weekends. I keep a few tshirts, a sweatshirt, two old pair of sweats, and an old athletic skort. Like others mentioned, they have their own space and don't get mixed in with my everyday clothes. I do not give really worn out/old/items with holes to the donation shops. Most don't want items in poor repair and just end up throwing them away. I try to bring them to a recycling center instead.

Runcarla

Veteran

I edit continuously when I do the laundry - holes, really worn/frayed items, stretched out - what is really obviously past its 'best before' date. Then there is an annual closet cull to deal with the rest.

Nomad

I used to do the same thing, but then adopted a system like Greyscale and La Ped... clothes that are good enough for dirty tasks (painting, gardening, etc.) get tucked away in a separate drawer and never taken out for normal daily wear. If I have more things than drawer space, then it's time to actually get rid of something.

I sometimes take items that are truly on their last legs when I travel, and may shed them during the trip to free up suitcase space. That feels like a better send-off than tossing them in the trash at home, and it's one less thing to wash when I get home and unpack.

Lesley

Veteran

I know people mock Marie Kondo but her book is GENIUS for this issue. If you really want to keep some for painting, be honest with yourself about how many times a week you paint.... if it's once, you don't need more than two outfits for painting. Ditch the rest. It feels SO GOOD to look at closets and drawers that are freshly spare and contain only stuff you love wearing!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My “grungies” — old clothes saved for dirty tasks — get stored in a section of my loungewear/sleepwear drawer. Like Nomad says, if it starts getting full, I ditch the worst of the lot or cut up the tees for cleaning rags.

unfrumped

Veteran

If it’s for any kind event or going- out, I can usually cull things that no longer look good.
For my hoarding of items for loungewear or gardening, I also have a couple drawers and try to edit intermittently based on general number — keep 2 or 3 , not 5 or 6 , etc. pick the most flattering or functional or both.

Synne

Veteran

I used to do this, save ratty but not completely ruined clothes for my many "what if's and when's". But eventually I will be seen by someone in these terrible clothes, and that kinda ruins the whole point of me trying to up my style quotient and grooming.

An example: I have this gorgeous soft pink merino wool sweater, that I love to wear around the house when I'm doing chores etc. It has a big weird stain, wich I don't know where comes from, and I haven't managed to remove it. It basically looks like baby poo all over my arm. I still keep wearing it around the house, even when cooking. Until my husband commented that I had POO STAINS on me. That SHOULD be my wake up call to finally toss that sweater. Note to self.

Runcarla

Veteran

Jessikams, do you change out of your day-clothes for painting or do you wear a smock? Do you have a dedicated space to do art? A studio? Why not put your older items in a cupboard in your studio - the way Janet sends her worn items 'to the ranch'?

DH has a collection of old dress shirts, a heavy apron, and coveralls hanging from pegs in his workshop. Whenever we do 'messy' work, we source from the collection. They go over top regular clothes and don't get washed per se, but replenished as needed.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Synne, LOL at the poo stains! You'd love the comments that come from cattle ranch living and the resulting stains (and smells! LOL).

The Cat

Veteran

I have a drawer where I keep A FEW items for painting, gardening, etc. But I look into it several times a year, and as soon as there are more than 3 or 4 tops, 3 bottoms and 1 topper there, I'll let the most tired-looking tems go.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

To the tune of that song from Frozen?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have indoor clothes and outdoor clothes. But my indoor clothes have to be presentable enough to go across the street. Fun tees go in that category, sweats, long athletic shorts in the summer, sweatshirts, warm but not precious sweaters (including some cashmere that I have managed to thrift). I only have one drawer for indoor clothes so I have to keep the pile somewhat under control.

Sal

Veteran

I can have a blind spot with some old favourites until something wakes me up that the item is really no good (I had to discard two very well worn favourite shoes this year for this reason).

Like others I have a collection of painting, heavy gardening, work clothes. Great for old tees and leggings - not so great for blown out jackets or work clothes.

I am okay with some wear on items such as boots and jeans and sneakers - and even casual knits and shirts. It is not so great for workwear though.

I guess I allocate space for these sorts of things and once it is full then I have to make a decision. My old running shoes become gardening shoes - I keep one pair only though. I have one pair of denim shorts or cutoffs, one pair longer pants (jeans or leggings), one long sleeve shirt, one tee and one warmer top in this collection. Plenty for my needs.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

The wake up call is real. I saw myself in strong lighting from above, wearing an old jersey dress, and it was totally see-through AND showed all cellulite! Egads!

I paint in my dedicated studio space, but it is SO TINY and already jam packed with art supplies, files and books. I managed to hang a bag of messy clothes over the door. Good enough for now!

Thx for sharing your strategies all.

12