Leaving YLF Forum - YouLookFab Forum

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Leaving YLF Forum

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

After a great deal of thought, I've decided to withdraw from participating on the YLF forum. I will still be reading Angie's marvellous blog posts each day though so I can continue to learn and grow in my personal style.

I have come to the conclusion that participation on a large public forum is no longer for me. After my recent post on office style, I have no desire to constantly worry that "big brother" is watching me and that every word I write is being scrutinized. If I cannot truly express my opinions and thoughts as they relate to fashion and style, then I don't see the point of it.

This is not a reflection of YLF specifically - I think you are all wonderful, stylish and amazing women - but is a commentary regarding ALL public forums. I'm a fairly direct, bordering on outspoken, person and if I need to self censor every single thread I write, well…I just don't have the energy for that.

I'm in a career position now where I am always aware of my words, facial expressions, body language, etc. I don't need that same kind of "tension" in the world wide web as well.

Stay beautiful my fellow Fabbers

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83 replies

Latest reply was from viva

Sarah A

Veteran

Oh my Shannon. I will miss you! Lots of hugs and well wishes

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

Oh Shannon, I completely understand! You have always been such an inspiration, and somewhat of a style mentor.

We will all miss you so much! *HUGS*

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Oh no! I missed the post, I hope we didn't say something to scare you off. What a huge loss. We will miss you terribly. Good luck in your new job and the coming year! If you ever change your mind you know where we'll be--come back and visit!

Peri

Veteran

I understand (kind of) but I can't tell you how much I will miss you. You were one of my board icons and I always loved seeing your WIWs. I'm not happy about this!

Tanya

Veteran

I am very sorry to hear this Shannon, you will be missed.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Wait, what happened? I can't find the thread.

Susie

Veteran

I am sorry to hear this, Shannon. You seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of sharing your outfits and style musings here. I only saw your recent post briefly but I think the concern came from sharing your thoughts about your coworkers, rather than just things about yourself. As someone who works in Human Resources, I understand the caution regarding social media and putting too much personal info on the web. But I don't think there is reason for alarm with a fashion blog, if we limit our commentary to ourselves.

I wish you the best in your new position and please keep on being your fab self!

kkards

Veteran

shannon, i am so sorry to see you go. i looked to your posts as inspiration and loved how you managed to mix an edge to everyday business wear.
i hope you will reconsider.

Vildy

Veteran

I think, alas, that your assessment is 100% correct - the ugly underbelly of modern life. Instant connections, no privacy. You will be much missed. Wishing you and yours the best of everything.

Anonymous

Oh no! Dear Shannon, I will miss your fabness soooo much. Is there no way around it, like starting a new account and only doing headless pics?

Pat_P

I'm so sorry to hear this. And, as a new(ish) member of the forum, I'd just like to let you know that I have gotten a great deal of inspiration from the outfits and thoughts you shared. We are close in age and have a similar body type, so I have learned a lot in a short period of time. Your great style has encouraged me to stretch my own fashion "boundaries." Thank you!

Ginkgo

Veteran

I'm very sorry to hear this, I've so enjoyed your style journey and found you an inspiration. Seconding Susie on the strategy of keeping the focus on yourself but understand if it's easier for you to just not participate. Good luck!

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

Shannon, I will miss you so terribly. I hope you'll hang around and pop in on other threads occasionally. I respect and understand your decision, of course. Hugs!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(The thread has been moved to OT).

You will be sorely missed, sweet and wonderful Shannon. You bring a special energy to this community that is therapeutic. Know that you are always welcome to return, no matter what. xo

Neel

Veteran

Oh no I wish I could ask you to stop. I will miss you Shannon. Truly.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh no! Shannon, I know I'm not alone in that I hate to see you go. I understand the need for discretion, but your presence, your WIWs, your wit and kindness and style evolution, and your brilliant smile... all have made this forum a brighter place.

I hope that you will return to some level of participation that is comfortable for you. We will miss you.

LACeleste

Veteran

Hi Shannon.

I understand and support you but will miss you a lot. You helped me embrace retro elements and floral prints and I was always so impressed with your continuous evolution.

As a person, you are top notch, and I will miss your wisdom and optimism.

You have style and substance. I wish you well.

Anonymous

I will really miss you, Shannon! Best of luck and scritches to Tide and Dusty.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

You will be terribly missed. Wishing you the best in your new endeavor.

Classically Casual

Veteran

I so enjoyed watching your style evolve. Thanks for sharing your progress with us all.

Best of luck with your career. It's exciting to sink your teeth into new challenges with new people isn't it?

Kristin L

Veteran

We'll miss you Shannon! I hope your stress levels get better.

MsMaven

Veteran

Sorry to see you go, but I believe I do understand. All the best to you.

Gaylene

Veteran

I totally understand the need to keep your private life from intruding on your career, Shannon, especially when you are in a public position. Best wishes for your future success.

Diana

Veteran

I will miss you but I understand. Best of luck with this new phase of your life, Shannon.

cheryl

Veteran

Oh Shannon. I missed the thread so don't really know what is going on but I am so sorry to hear this. I would love to try and talk you out of it but I understand. I will miss you and wish you every happiness.

Edited to add, could you just block the one/ones that made you feel this way? Hugs!

Anonymous

I will miss you too, Shannon.

Parsley

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear that, Shannon. You are a valued contributor here, and will be sorely missed.

The public nature of internet forums is something we all have to come to grips with and find our comfort level. A frequently cited rule of thumb for emails is to never send anything that you would be ashamed to see on the front page of the newspaper, and I think that applies even more to public forums. I'd say it's a good idea to never post anything that you wouldn't want your family, your work colleagues, or your neighbors to see. Personally I don't find that standard oppressive, but I am always aware that this is a public place, not a private kaffeeklatsch.

I would hope that you might find a level of participation that you could feel comfortable with- it doesn't have to be an all-or-none thing.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best in your new job, and in life in general!

Big hugs,

Marcy

MsMary

Veteran

Oh, Shannon! I am speechless! I will miss you so much!

FWIW, I am in a locally high-profile job and a long time ago I just reconciled myself to the fact that everything I post could be on the front page of the paper tomorrow, so I conduct myself accordingly. My response to the imaginary people who want to shame me for posting my outfits on the internet is "So? It's my hobby!" Not trying to change your mind (necessarily ), just giving my perspective. Love you, girl!! XXX OOO

ETA: Parsley! We were posting the same thing at the same time!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, Shannon!! I have tears in my eyes! You are such an important part of this community. I feel so sad.

I support your decision, of course -- you must do what is right for you.

But I would feel a whole lot better if I knew this decision arose from your own priorities and needs rather than a fear of being judged. If life is too full for you to participate now, that's one thing. You've just undergone a big transition and may need time away to adjust. You're under a lot of stress.

But if you're leaving not because you want to but because you are worried about your public persona, are there not work-arounds? Is there not a happy medium?

For myself, I follow Mary's and Parsley's dictum. Let me see if I can explain. I'm 100% absolutely myself on this forum. BUT...I'm not 100% of myself. Do you see the difference?

In other words, even though I'm honest and open here and share a lot, I also keep some parts of my life private, and some parts of my loved ones' lives private. Anything I do share here is something I would feel comfortable shouting from the rooftops. Or speaking frankly to those in my real life.

This way, I don't have to worry.

And if I need to vent about something, I either do it to my real life friends, save it for a PM to someone, or do it in a way that disguises the identity of the people I might be kvetching about. Unless they are rotten retailers, that is, bwa ha ha.....

This doesn't feel like self-censorship to me. It feels like fitting my communication to the audience. But if it would feel like censorship to you, of course that would only lead to more stress.

Shannon, whatever you do, you do it in style! You're a beautiful inspiration to us all!

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