I want to thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I feel I needed an attitude adjustment. I will keep my list as a reminder but not as a priority. And will keep an open mind about things on my list. Yes, a black cashmere turtleneck in my wardrobe can only be replaced with a black cashmere turtleneck but I can wait for it to become available from my favorite brands and should not be searching high and low to cross an item from my list.

I also tend to keep my shopping to stores that seem to get me — my style and my body type — so I’ve learned not to bother with a lot of retailers (J Crew rarely works for me as they cut everything too straight). Some designers and brands I can consider some items but not others — for instance, I had a sweet spot for Ted Baker prints a few years ago but their dresses are cut laughably long for my torso, so I could consider scarves or accessories instead. Or Boden — their prints are not my jam at all and they skew a bit traditional/preppy for me, but sometimes for a classic piece of knitwear, they are a great choice.

It just means I have to put blinders on for certain things and stay open to others. And of course sometimes you just don’t know until you try it on. In a time when a lot of labels seem to have disappeared, I do find it necessary to try some new ones.

I will say that it can be frustrating on the forum as a Canadian seeing goods not easily found her or that retail for a whole lot more than they do in the US . I’m sure our AUS and NZ members feel the same way .

Actually I find it a blessing that I can’t easily get the US goods. It stops that thing of “Off to check it out!” that constantly happens on the forum.

I am almost exclusively online shopper, but I am more hesitant to experiment with new retailers then with the new brands. I need to be sure if the retailer is reliable, how fast is shipping, what are payment options, what is return policy, if returns are free etc. So I am sticking with just couple of retailers that sell different brands. With brands, I am open to experiment, if I see something with potential from unfamiliar brand, I will order it. If I like the fit and quality, I will explore the brand more, but if quality or fit is not ok, I will very rarely give the brand another chance. That is how I found some of my favorite pieces and new brands that work for me. Since most of US brands are not available here, I can’t copy forum favorites or get top picks which is probably a good thing for my budget:)

It’s also what makes the forum fun though - I like seeing the cold weather outfits and the different lifestyles and needs.

I limit my online shopping mainly cause I want to keep the companies that have my data to a minimum! Agreeing that there are definitely shops and brands that fit my shape and aesthetic much more than others.

Reading all with great interest. Shopping can be such hard work. I have recently gone to my most reliable store that carrys petites, Loft, and tried on probably 20 pairs of jeans looking for that perfect pair of wide legs. Well, the SA and I figured out which one was absolutely right, but not in stock in my exact size, and I have discovered it is also out of stock completely online or in other stores I could get to. I have been checking repeatedly but no luck. So disappointing. I know I could widen the search to other stores and brands, but I have decided to just give up the wide leg search and make do with my other styles. There's a limit to my energy.

When I really, really need something, I know I can count on J. Crew. Their clothes consistently fit my long, non-curvy body, the styles fit my aesthetic, the quality is generally good, and the prices are in my comfort zone.

I get it, Irina! Sometimes I do the same thing where I find myself searching endlessly for something very specific, just because I got it in my head that that's what I needed. It's a weird fixation, in my case. Sometimes I eventually find something, sometimes I give up. For example, I have tried to find a very specific sort of trench coat for years, and have finally given up, I think. To reduce this wild goose chase approach, I do try to shop with a looser mandate (e.g., a boxy, short sleeved white button down, vs. something really specific). And since I buy a lot of stuff via online consignment, it's just more practical for me to be pretty open with what I want. But I also understand sticking with certain brands that just get you, work seamlessly with what you already have, and are super-reliable. Especially with ordering online all the time, it makes life a lot less frustrating.

Say, did you order anything from the JW Anderson X Uniqlo collaboration? (I know that you like their collabs.) I ordered a few things (I never met a blue striped button down I didn't like!); waiting for them to arrive.

Jonesy, I went to a store for JWA collab but nothing worked. I tried button down shirts. Like them a lot but the sleeves are too long on me, down to my elbows. Jeans didn’t look great. I’m still thinking about the cream blazer, wasn’t in love with fabric but might go back and try.

Irina, this thread reminds me of The Paradox of Choice that I read about on Twitter today. Apparently it's a book that basically says the more options there are the harder it is to make good decisions and be satisfied in them. Ah, it's a ted talk too, haven't watched or read, but it kind of rings true. Here's a link to a summary https://brandgenetics.com/huma.....d-summary/

I have some online boutiques I visit (all my clothes shopping has been online the last few years) that tend to have clothes that get me, that's a good phrase, like you mentioned, Janet. It's like they've already gone shopping and gathered some clothes I would like. I've been disappointed in fast fashion and big retailers in recent years in terms of cut and fabrics so I've mostly eliminated them. I would say having a narrower field makes choices easier for me.

With one notable exception, I don't shop from a list. My wardrobe is pretty large, and there is nothing I truly need. I think if I shopped from a list I would be truly frustrated. I know, because I have been searching for olive jeans for four years. I have lost track of how many I have ordered and returned in that time. The last two pairs went out in the mail two days ago.

That aside, I generally shop for types of items: slim pants or wide-legged/barrel legged jeans; boxy cropped button-up shirts in summer; etc., and when something truly delights me, I buy it. Outerwear is a huge source of pleasure and I'm always happy to look at it, and then try to restrain myself. My colors are predominantly neutrals, and I keep to cotton and wool, so those parameters tend to limit what I shop for as well.

I love to look at the retailers that I prefer, but buy with restraint and lots of joy. Except for those @#$%! olive jeans.

Irina, this is my strategy now that I do more online shopping. I stick with brands that I can rely on. Shopping in B & M used to be fun. Not as much now.

Irina, my JWA X Uniqlo order came today! I ordered one of the striped button downs (keep: sleeves are quite long on me too, but I still love it), the striped dropped waist dress (return: I love a dropped waist and they are hard to come by, but it was just too short in the back), and the cream linen blazer (return: fabric seemed too flimsy to me and the sleeves were a little short). I also ordered several pairs of the striped socks, and am keeping those.

Jonesy, Nice! Those shirts are great! I didn’t even tried the linen blazer because of the fabric.

Irina, I would say you DID turn over the retail stone and you didn't like what was under it!!

Totally valid ... And smart shopping. If a place lets you down multiple times, it only makes sense to scratch it from the list. I'm sure if you saw something really fantastic there you could make an exception but that doesn't mean you have to keep it on the regular list. Anyways your instincts are superb with fashion so I say follow your gut is prob the best rule for you to use!

Helena, LOL
Will be leaving those stones alone in the future.