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Leave no retail stone unturned vs shopping retailers that get you

abc

Veteran

On a recent thread (sorry I forgot exactly which) I believe it was DesmoApril that mentioned she focuses her shopping efforts on retailers that she knows get her and that in general offer pieces that mix and match well into her capsules.

This got me to thinking. Stick with me here, it may get long winded (you've been warned!)

I am the type of person that likes to evaluate all of my options then execute my plan. (Except for emotional buys haha).

Example: I don't just go to the mall and hit the couple of stores I *know* I want to visit. Oh, no. I have to cover the entire surface area of the mall, a la mallwalker, to make sure I haven't missed something.

Part of this is because my visits back to the US are more sparse than ever and I don't want to leave any retail stone unturned (self inflicted pain).

Part of it is because I don't always go to the same place and sometimes I'm in a new to me shopping center and don't know the lay of the land.

Part of it is my nature. Analyze, plan, execute (OH GOD I sound like a consultant now - haha, maybe bc I AM a consultant)

However, I am noticing more and more, I get exhausted. I wear myself out trying to cover every possibility before I make my decision and buy when in reality, most of my purchases come from Nordstrom, WHBM, BR and Macy's.

I like the look of Madewell but I'm usually sized out.

I like Ann Taylor and Loft too, but don't consistently shop there and b&m don't always carry my size (esp on bottoms).

F21 and H&M nowadays overwhelm me and I don't have the time or patience to look for the needle in the haystack.

I like the looks of Club Monaco and Massimo Dutti but I'm usually sized out and don't have a history of shopping there so they fall off my radar to be honest.

I used to LOVE TJMaxx and Marshalls, but now ditto F21 and H&M - no time or patience, and shopping there left me with LOTS of orphans (cheap, but orphans).

And on and on and on with every possible retailer out there.

So this long-winded rant is I suppose asking the question..do you give yourself permission NOT to leave all retail stones unturned?

Especially for those outside of the US with limited access to US retailers, how do you come to terms with evaluating every option out there vs being content with what you found on this day at this price and being done with it? I suppose for us it's compounded by our limited resource (time) which plays a huge factor in this equation.

And how do you balance focused shopping with staying fresh and having enough wardrobe variety?

Thank you for listening and comments and thoughts are really appreciated.

Shopping

36 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

catgirl

Veteran

YES. I eliminate tons of places based on shipping costs alone. Thus I find most of my shopping is done with Nordstrom, Amazon, and Zappos. I will shop at j crew and other online stores when they have free shipping. This is actually a huge relief because I can get so caught up and worn out in shopping minutiae...

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Fascinating topic and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your personal thoughts on the subject.

For me, I have come to peace with NOT searching every store in the hope that there's something better than what I liked in the last store...because honestly 9 times out of 10, I end up walking back to that first store and getting the item anyway! I have decided that my time is worth just as much as a) finding something just a wee bit better or b) finding something that's maybe $10 less.

However, in contrast to that, I am much pickier now than I used to be. I don't settle anymore for items that aren't quite right. I make my decisions quicker now with a lot less waffling back and forth. If the item is right, then I buy without looking any further "just in case"...but if the item isn't right, back on the rack it goes and I move onward. But not to every store...

...because I don't have an "off the rack" body to fit. I have significant fit issues and there are only a few local stores that I know carry what works for me. So I limit my shopping and trying on items to those stores only. There is no longer any point in popping into stores that I know don't get my figure.

I have started shopping much more online than I used to - I love and adore Eileen Fisher and would be happy as a clam to have an entire wardrobe made up of her pieces. She makes petites. They are generous in sizing (like me - lol!) and I love the quality. But EF has very limited availability in my home town and not in petite sizes at all. So eBay it is.

Anonymous

I can't shop at all stores because I need to focus on clothing that fits me and is "me" (my style). Also, I pay close attention to a store's return policy.

abc

Veteran

AG and Shannon, thanks for reading my dissertation, haha.

AG - I can see where online with free shipping may be your godsend. I have to be careful with online as that implies shipping to a hotel and ordering in advance of my arrival and watching delivery dates like a hawk - all of which take up my precious energy. I'm pretty much down to Nordies and Amazon for online orders anymore. Everything else I just leave to chance. I check online and then use find in store (BR, etc) to narrow down which b&m to visit in the area where I'm traveling. It's still exhausting even that way!

And AG - you hit the nail on the head with the phrase "shopping

minutiae" - me to a tee.

Shannon - you pretty much described me as well. I HAVE gotten picker, I've discovered. I guess that is a result of my journey and thanks to my time on YLF. Before I was nowhere near as discerning. And like you, I make decisions quicker now. I have a few local sources but find time is limited for local shopping as well so I still do most of my clothes shopping when I am back in the US. I hear you on EF, she gets my figure too and I increasinly find the few EF pieces in my closet are my go-tos, like on my recent work trip to the US. First things chosen were EF tops and filled in the rest of the outfits from there.

Shannon, I think I am finally getting to the point where you are with being ok with NOT searching every nook and cranny (mall or online) bc I usually do end up with the "original" and it's not worth my time or energy to save that $10 like you said. I suppose I am struggling with giving myself that permission. Thanks for your insight and comments, it's nice to know there are others in a similar position.

abc

Veteran

bettycrocker, yes, that is part of it too, I can eliminate some stores bc it's just not my style. But there are just SO MANY STORES that do appeal to me! Return policies are less important to me anymore bc my time is limited, so if I buy it I usually keep it. I'm usually in the US for 3-4 days and that is my return window, period.

abc

Veteran

Another thought - I think it is easier to leave no retail stone unturned when you are frequently in the shops - maybe not shopping (buying) but out there and aware of what's available.

I, most certainly, do not fall in this category. Usually I get ideas online from YLF (finds, WIWs, Angie's blog posts) and random retailer searches (sometimes searching for a specific item, other times from sheer boredom).

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I read your post with interest, too, abc. I've wondered the same thing about Angie's mantra, "Leave no retail stone unturned." It seems ever so wise to me, and yet I typically do not do it. I often go to the mall and visit only Nordstrom. I practically have blinders on, zeroing in on just my usual stores. The other stores in the mall are just landmarks for me; if I don't walk straight into Nordstrom, I remember where I parked based on what stores I passed to get to Nordstrom. I also go to Eddie Bauer and Loft, once in a great while.
That said, I do look at a lot of different stores online. And I go to a lot of different stores when I'm on the hunt for something particular that I haven't found at my usual haunts.
This question reminds me of the distinction that MsMary made here on the forum between satisficers and maximizers. I'm more of a satisficer: if I find what I'm looking for and it meets my criteria, I tend to get it and move on, rather than exhausting all possibilities to be sure I got the absolute best option available.

Helena

Veteran

For sure abc ... when I go to the mall (rare), I usually hit the Gap trifecta, RW&Co, and maybe H&M if I am looking for some specific (i.e. I have to know what needle I am looking for!).

To me the principle of "no retail stone" speaks to "brand snobbery" for want of a better term ... i.e. IF I saw the perfect thing for me at the "wrong" store, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to buy it on the basis of the store it came from. A winning piece from Target is as good as a winning piece from anywhere. That's my interpretation, anyhow Use it how it supports you best, I would say!

Author Linda

Veteran

Such interesting thoughts, and insights, into your shopping experience!

I think we all approach it a bit differently, and even differently at different times or for certain occasions. Mainly, I buy from retailers I know will make my experience pleasant, painless, and/or profitable. By which I mean my time is well-spent because I enjoyed the shopping and found something. Shopping without results is a waste of my time. I don't have a lot left. LOL Well, actually I hope I do--but I don't want to spend it shopping. I want to do other things. What I WANT are lovely clothes to wear while I do them.

So for me it comes down to laziness. I don't leave every retailer unturned. I do frequent those which are consistently good at satisfying my fashion sense and urges, i.e. speedy delivery, free shipping and returns, etc.. However, there are times...

Sometimes it's good to just mix it up. There are times I visit other retailers just to see if I've been missing something. If I love the experience and the clothes, I add them to the list of stones to be turned. After all, what worked last year or last season may not scratch my itch this season. So it's a matter of staying on top of what's out there. Once I know (or think I know enough), I go back to shopping the usual venues.

In other cases, it's because I have a *special* purchase in mind. Dresses often fall into this category. For the perfect dress for a wedding or a summer cruise dress, I will shop every store in the mall, every store online, take the train into the city (I hate driving into the city), and visit boutiques I know exist but are too lazy and time-averse to commit an hour of driving to visit. I only buy a dress or two a year, so for me it's worth the extra effort and expense to find the right dress, the one that fits perfectly (or can be made to fit) and is the right fabric, style, etc.. A tee shirt, pants, jeans, shoes (which I can order so easily online), simply aren't worth all the hoofing. Not to mention I have bad knees and hoofing hurts.

One thing I keep in mind is to be thankful I live near a very large city and have tons of shopping easily available. Also, my wardrobe requirements are fairly easy to satisfy, particularly because I can count on wearing things from previous seasons and just like to add a few items to liven up things. Like me. I guess the balancing part is between need and want. If I need something particular or special, then all-out shopping is on the schedule. Otherwise, permission not to hit every retailer.

Gaylene

Veteran

I leave HEAPS of retail stones unturned. Generally, I've a pretty clear idea of what I like and where I'm most likely to find it. Most stores target a certain type of customer so I choose the ones that are likely to have what I'm looking for when I go shopping. If I have the time, and I'm walking by a shop that I've heard about, or which looks interesting, I'll pop in for a quick browse just to check it out. Usually, once I'm a few feet in, I can figure out if it's worth checking out the merchandise more thoroughly.

I also think staying with a few chosen retailers makes me more adventurous. If I'm heading to the dressing room, I'll often grab a few wildcards on the way. I figure I'm getting undressed anyway, so what's the harm. I'll even encourage the SA to make suggestions if she seems to know her stuff.

I've always interpreted Angie's "no stone unturned" motto to mean not to summarily dismiss a store because of preconceptions that may, or may not, be accurate--as opposed to looking through every store in the vicinity. A good example is Talbots. For the first time in years, I went in because the window display looked so colorful compared to the drab look of the Gap next door. I've never fit a Talbot pant, but this year their Perfect Crop, sized down, was perfect and the sea-blue shade was a nice change from Gap's army green and grey versions. I rolled the hems (surprising the other ladies! ) and found my new favourite summer pants.

Alassë

Veteran

In your situation, I would definitely give yourself permission to focus shopping on just a handful of stores/chains. You are in a unique situation with unique constraints.

To answer your 2nd question, I would do a little planning before you shop. Is there anything you want to try (perhaps from Angie's seasonal trend list), or have you tweaked something in your personal style? I expect that you'll avoid a rut simply by thinking over what you'd like to add to your wardrobe, in addition to replacement of basics.

If you don 't find much inspiration, perhaps require yourself to purchase 1 or 2 new/different style direction items every year. These slight changes/experiments may add just enough freshness to your personal style.

Thistle

Veteran

Yes, I give myself permission to leave lots of retail stones unturned.

I have little time to shop, and almost all of it is on line. I don't want to take two small children to t he mall, and if DH is gong to take them both for a hour or two, there are SO many things I would rather do than try to squeeze in shopping.

As such, I focus my time and effort on stores I know work for me and don't size me out. My favorites are Ann Taylor, Nordstrom's and Talbots, with GAP thrown in for Tess. I may buy the occasional BR or Old Navy piece, usually in a GAP order. Add Zappos and Amazon to that list for shoes. Lands End for winter coats, hats, and gloves.

Maybe at a different point in my life I will be more of a mall shopper, but for now, I am happy with where I am.

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I'm the kind of person who 95% of the time can put something on and immediately say "yes!" or "no....". I don't hem and haw. I love it and buy it or don't love it and leave it. So if my usual stores are turning up "yeses" consistently, I don't feel the need to branch out. I wear lots of color, prints, different silhouettes, and do a lot of mixing and matching in my wardrobe from current and past seasons so that I don't really feel that I am in a rut by using the same handful of stores most of the time. If there is something very specific I am looking for and can't find at my usual places, that is when I get to exploring. The other time that I use "leave no retail store unturned" is, as Gaylene said, when something I love turns up at a place I normally wouldn't buy clothing for myself - a place that I've thought of as not my style, or only having cheap fast fashion - those are usually happy accidents and not because I am trying to branch out and try something new.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I also leave lots of retail stones unturned. I actually hate to shop, which is why I love the ideas from here, being a lemming, and the online world. Lots of opportunities to browse without having to deal with crowds, pushy SA's, music, etc. Not to mention the time suck! I will pound the pavement if I'm looking for something specific... which I hate, because I can never find it, so end up with a "eh" piece usually. But my wardrobe is big enough that shopping is more about fun expansion pieces than NEEDING to get things. Before the online world was so easy, I used to shop at about three places, twice a year. And if I didn't find anything, I just waited. My how things change!!

I think of "leave no retail stone unturned" as permission to shop at Costco

Anonymous

It would be nice to have more shopping options. Unfortunately, my fussy feet, not-always-petite size, color and style preferences have narrowed down my shopping options. Searching for quality also limits me. For accessories such as jewelry, though, I'm a lot more open minded about where to shop, though the return policy is still a biggie.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I don't enjoy shopping unless I have a focus on something I really want so I usually stick to the stores that "get me." If I'm bored sometimes I shop around online but I don't really enjoy it much at physical stores.

Peri

Veteran

I'm with Texstyle...I don't like shopping, so to hit every option would be exhausting and overwhelming.

And there has been some study being discussed a lot lately that found that people were happier with their decisions when their options were more limited. In those cases they had a strong feeling of having made the right decision, whereas people given more options felt less satisfied with their choice overall.

Makes sense with our cultural preoccupation with FOMO. If you feel you have to check out everything, where does everything stop?

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, I try to only visit one or two places on any given day. It's too much otherwise. Even when traveling. Although, of course, I've never been to the Great Mall of America...

Anonymous

"Especially for those outside of the US with limited access to US retailers, how do you come to terms with evaluating every option out there vs being content with what you found on this day at this price and being done with it? I suppose for us it's compounded by our limited resource (time) which plays a huge factor in this equation."

Well, this is me to a T. And how do I come to terms with it? It was pretty easy , really. I simply am not interested in , nor willing to spend the time necessary to achieve some lofty idea of wardrobe perfection. I don't have the patience, time, energy or headspace for it, especially in huge messy retailers like H&M, Winners, F21 etc etc. For years, my wardrobe came from Club Monaco. I may have looked like a walking advertisement, but I fit their cuts perfectly (at that time) ,was a consistent size, and had the benefit of the Wpg store manager's help in putting aside new pieces as they came in , and I pretty much bought everything she suggested. That is the last period of time (probably 4 years ago now) that I had the perfect closet where everything worked together and everything fit.

I DO have the patience and interest in quiet, beautifully decorated and merchandised stores with carefully curated collections. But there are just too few of them in my city . So yes, it's a dichotomy , because I have a deeply ingrained interest, knowledge of and appreciation for style and fashion, but because of where I live, my options are limited. I have other things to do and to think about - like my job, my family, my friends, etc etc - and if my ideal wardrobe isn't happening, then that's just the way it is.

I do sometimes go in to stores I don't frequent just out of curiosity, but only if something in the window has caught my eye. Like you, I have a few I rely on , and sometimes it all works, and often it doesn't. It's life.

Jules

Veteran

Well lately, other than my love of the cheap and cheerful for summer (Old Navy and Joe Fresh for me), I mostly walk into my local boutique 5 minutes' walk from my house, have a nice chat with the owner who is having similar middle-aged body changes as I am, and try a few things she pulls out for me. I usually walk out with something. I'm just not into the hunt these days - it's exhausting, and overall, for me, not that much more effective.

Liz

Veteran

I never thought of Angie's maxim as a command to go and look everywhere. I heard it as a reminder not to rule out a store because it was "too cheap, too expensive, too classic," or whatever.

I have decided to leave most retail stones unturned. It's just not worth it to me to find the perfect whatever (for me, that's a recipe for driving myself crazy). I have basically decided to choose the best of what is available to me in B & M and leave it at that. This means I miss out on lots of options and maybe even some bargains that could be had if I were scouring lots of stores and searching the web. But I've decided to be OK with that.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Yes, but not all at once!

The best example I remember from the forum was Ceit finding her white belt HEWI at Canadian Tire. That was after a long search. When I am traveling and I shop for clothes (which is any time I shop because the nearest mall is 150 miles away), there's no way I'm going to visit every store. It stops being fun real fast. So I have a destination in mind, and make it a goal to try a couple other places or items just for practice. But if I had to buy all my clothes in a few days each year, I wouldn't waste time with low probability retailers.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Because I live in the boonies, there are only two local boutiques in my town that I shop at. I don't get most of my clothes there, but try to patronize both because I want them to stay in business.

I do like shopping in person, but when I go to a city, I'm usually with family and out for a day or just overnight. Although my husband and my daughter also like shopping, we reach our collective tolerance level at about 2 hours, so there's never enough time to turn over all the stones. We would not do a long drive just to go to a mall and spend the day.

So that leaves online. I have a lot of patience for online shopping. I have certain brands that I know are likely to fit me and mesh with my style. When I'm looking for a particular type of thing, say a light blue cross body handbag, or a white linen cardigan, I will often begin my search with polyvore or shopstyle because they gather in so many possibilities -- but given they leave out many as well and have an annoying tendency to feature used designer clothing these days, I don't limit myself.

Being in the continental US makes it much easier to find merchants with free/ inexpensive ship and return policies, and since I work from home I have fedex and UPS here all the time anyway for work, so the package back and forth is no big deal.

DonnaF

Veteran

My UPS guy would laugh, but I'm not particularly into shopping. I generally restrict my shopping to Nordstrom online, and the retail stone I currently unturn is venturing into Regular (vs. Petite) size clothing. Returns are so easy, and a couple of brands *get* my body.

Now, if I need something very particular like a fairly warm spring-like dress to wear to DD's graduation, I am more likely to venture out. I will also unturn stones if I take DD shopping as she is more of a mall rat and tends to shop in stores I tend never to enter on my own. Of course, if we ever have a Bay Area meet-up, I would peruse all stores! I am no doubt missing out on great belts, hosiery, and costume jewelry due to my laziness.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Linda makes a good point that I agree with- it depends on what you're looking for and how urgent your need is. Most of the time I'm not in a rush for something, since I try to plan and buy ahead, so I'm more willing to search. Plus, I enjoy 'the hunt' (when I have the time / energy).

My natural tendency is to be a maximizer and in recent years I've tried to embrace satisficing - a) for my own mental health and b) so that I don't spend all my time on shopping as procrastination from other harder / more fraught projects.

Honestly my shopping habits have been so shaped in recent years by living in a highly populated area with lots of stores, and easy returns and free or low cost shipping. I'm sure my behavior would change a lot if any of that changed.

To be concrete: I don't go in every store in the mall, but since stores do change, I try to check out a 'new to me' store every few months. For the online ones, I keep a list in my budget / buying file of brands and stores I want to try.

Astrid

Veteran

Since I've decided to focus more on ethically made clothing, most stores are out for me anyway. It was a bit of a bit of a detox at first not to go there "just to have a look", but now I don't feel very tempted at all anymore. I have really narrowed it down right now to a list of online stores, Ebay for second hand purchases and very few B&M stores... But then I've always found it easy to stop looking when I had found something suitable, it was the way shopping was done in my family growing up. You went to a few stores looking for item xyz and then bought the best version of it you could find and afford. And then used it until it had to be replaced... I'm doing a lot more browsing of options right now than I used to in the past in any case, even just regularly looking at options online.

Greyscale

Veteran

I'm trying to learn to avoid stores with low success rates. Left to myself I'm like you, Abc, and yes, I'm trying to give myself permission to be less complete.

One thing I've noticed is that last year's winning store might be a total washup this year. Zara's minimalist looks last year were great for me, but this year's 70s boho is much less likely to include things I want. So I've mostly stopped going to Zara when I'm at the mall. Next season, it might be totally different. Or, J Crew's attempt to move back into their core market means they're not quite as appealing to me this year (and I'm not shaped like their fit model) whereas BR's new direction lines up with my look and their clothes tend to fit me perfectly.

On a tangent - I do really appreciate that different brands have different fit models. With shoes, for instance, I personally need space for my high instep, but I know that would make the shoe a disaster on most people. I'm glad there's some variability out there.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I also interpret "leave no retail stone unturned" to mean don't dismiss a brand because of preconceptions about the cost, quality, image, etc. That said, I know that there are only a handful of shops here that fit my size and budget, so I rarely look at anything else unless I'm just taking a look at what's in style generally.

When I go back home to the US I tend to do a lot more shopping, and look in more stores, because finding clothes that fit me is so much easier. I often start compiling a list of things to look for as soon as I have planned a trip and go shopping with those things in mind. But I always go through every item in my size on the Ross and Marshall's clearance sale racks. I've found many of my favorite items that way!

Daria

I'm guessing I'm somewhere in between.
On one hand, I never dedicated enough time to my wardrobe, to find those perfect 1-2 retailers that "get me". And even if I did find them, I wouldn't be able to shop there exclusively, most likely. So in this sense, I'm still exploring.
On the other hand, I don't have time to look for "gems" in stores I usually don't have much success with. I'm slowly learning what brands work for me better (e.g. I'm sized out of some US retailers) and prioritize them while shopping, although I do experiment quite a bit.

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