Knowing When Something is Just Right - YouLookFab Forum

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Knowing When Something is Just Right

RachelNZ

I've been adding a few new pieces as we move into winter and have been pondering that feeling when you just know something is just right for you. I've had a few recent examples where when I put on the item I knew it was a definite Yes compared to others that were more Hmm I could make it work. I have been good at returning the make it work pieces to leave space for other pieces.

I ordered a beautiful pair of chelsea boots which were also extremely comfortable, but they just didn't feel like me. I do like how they looked with the jeans in photos 2-3 but decided that wasn't enough for me to keep them.
I did some analysis as I tried on all my winter coats/jackets and identified that I felt I was missing a cropped jacket that could cross between dressy and casual outfits. This really helped narrow my search and move past some lovely options that weren't cropped. I eventually found this beautiful wool one and as soon as I put it on, I could tell it would add just the right touch to a range of outfits - it had multiple wears (photos 4-8) in its first week!
I finally ventured into wide leg jeans with the Levi's ribcage wide legs in a very dark wash (photos 7, 9-10). It has taken my eye awhile to get used to the wider leg on others but as soon as I put these on I knew I was ready for them in my wardrobe.

It can be hard to work out when an item will be a Yes (especially online) and I don't know if you can fully build a wardrobe with a 100% of these items? Sometimes they are supporting acts or your building/rebuilding your options so may have to add what is available plus some pieces feel like they are a Yes but in the reality of life they are less so. However as I currently have a well-stocked wardrobe, it seems reasonable to try to only add items that give me that feeling.

Have you experienced the Yes feeling with any recent additions? What do you think it is that generates that feeling?

Also I shared a few months ago that I had a rocky start to the year with how I felt I was managing my wardrobe. I had a pause from adding new items and feel much better about my current approach. I'm continuing to track wears to understand actual usage, I removed the second-hand apps from my phone (it definitely doesn't have the same dopamine hit looking on my laptop) and am trying to focus on breadth rather than depth with any new pieces.

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23 replies

Latest reply was from Sal

JAileen

Veteran

I like your jacket! I used to like wearing that color before I went grey. When something is obviously perfect, you just know.

It’s been a couple years, but I wanted a Black Watch coat. I ordered one from Pendleton and the consensus here was it wasn’t right. I ordered a size down, put it on and immediately knew it was perfect. I’ve really enjoyed wearing it, especially in cold weather with its quilted lining. It works with my mostly neutral wardrobe.

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Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I like your description of how to discern good from great items to add to your wardrobe. "Making it work" is such a common thing to go through my head. I want to take your attitude that making something work is not a good enough standard. Those Chelsea boots are simply gorgeous. I know how hard it is to say "no" to something I find really beautiful, especially if it fits and feels good. Knowing what is "YOU" is so important, though!

Your selections look terrific! The jacket is really cool, and your rock the new jeans silhouette.

Star

Veteran

Your jacket and jeans look very good. So do the boots but if they don't feel like you definitely the right thing to return. I mostly shop 2nd hand in-store, and since I joined YLF I am really quite good at knowing if something is just right. I look at colour and cut mostly, and of course how it will mix with my existing pieces, and also very importantly does it fit wit my Grownup Tomgirl style. I actually had to learn to do this because when shopping second hand I come across so many interesting and cool pieces for very low prices but I cannot possibly bring every item home, so I have learn't to listen to 'just right'. Recently I tried on a gold brocade chinese-style short jacket from H&M (in the 2nd hand shop). It fit perfectly, it was very rock star and my friend was totally smitten with it on me. The prices was ridiculously low, but I realised that I may only wear this jacket once a year, and in my mind it was bordering on fancy pyjamas, or Sgt Peppers (The Beatles) territory, which is not really my style goal, so I left it, no regrets.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well the Chelsea boots are beautiful but good on you for returning them if not “you”. It interests me though, aren’t they a very similar shape to the ones in pic 5? Just different colour?
My recent absolute Yes is my new false plain pants. They are a slam dunk because my favourite olive pants are also a false plain. Bottom of them shown in pic with new boots. Wearing them today, and I think 12 wears already in about 2 months. Love them.
Your new jeans look great.

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Suntiger

Veteran

Love the new jacket and jeans! Great classic style!
My dark trouser jeans are definitely a "just right" purchase for this year too, and want to wear them almost all the time in colder weather.
The slightly teal color, width, length, dressiness, and comfort were my initial reasons for them feeling perfect, but now I realize that structure is another reason. I definitely feel best when my outfits have a bit of structure, especially in cold weather when I have to bundle up.
I have too many "make it work" pieces. Things like loosey goosey tops that I bought for the color when shorter, fitted ones weren't available (and I was wearing more fitted bottoms like pencil skirts). I've tried tucking, reining in volume with rubber band inside, and tying-but Meh. Fine (big sigh) for more casual days, but I'm preferring more structured tops even with pencil skirts now.

Olive Green

Veteran

Oh, yes. I can remember pretty much every item that evoked this feeling, back to a red velvet dress with pearls and a matching feather hat (church) when I was about 5.
The latest was a very plain heavy weight denim shirt, with pearl buttons, bought the next size up over the protests of friend and shop lady, and it is the perfect slouchy at home shirt.
With a good wardrobe you can wait for the special pieces. Those style descriptors work well for me as a filter, but they took years to develop (and then reliably implement, lol).
I am packing for a couple of days away and it is dead easy to put a few workhorses of good quality in the bag, with two pair of very wearable shoes. Success!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh, I too often have the “I can make this work” reaction. And yes, sometimes that’s enough! Because the piece is a supporting player and fits a need or scratches an itch, and I do wear it.

But I definitely relate with the “Yes!” moments and have had some lately. Most notably, shoes! This spring I added three new pairs that immediately grabbed me and also happened to be comfortable enough. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the update they’ve provided.

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RobinF

Veteran

Love that new coat!

I have a hard time telling a "yes!" item. Sometimes I have to live with it a while before I know and then, of course, I can't return it if I decide it's a no.

Carol

(website)

Veteran

The "yes" feeling for me is something that just looks great, usually. And with that usually comes the fact that it moves with me, etc. The color is right, the proportions are right...really anything that has to do with aesthetics. And then these "yes" pieces are usually confirmed by other people, on YLF or in real life.

unfrumped

Veteran

Yes! Why do I get “ make it work” items? Trying to be more discerning/picky. Good ideas!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Fab new coat!

Great new wide leg jeans, RacheNZ! I like that you waited to wear them until you were ready - good job listening to your feelings.

I think you need the no’s to make the yes’s stand out. Otherwise cream does not rise to the top!

Roberta

Veteran

That double breasted wool jacket is spot on. Color, drape, length are just right on you. My YES item this year is also a jacket: light, warm, and with multiple features that serve me well. The pockets are lined with fuzzy fleece! The back has a little extra length to keep my backside warm!

I feel like having several just right details are what makes something a YES for me. Color, sleeve length, textile, so forth. Too often there is a feature that puts the garment into "make it work" territory, as you so aptly describe it. When you look at it and think, "If only it had/were . . ."

Zella Onion Quilted Jacket

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judy

Veteran

I purposely scrolled thru your pics before reading the descriptions. When I got to your wide leg jeans I felt that YES!

It's taken me some trial and error to trust the YES moments more. And sometimes it's a yes, but the courage to wear it has to kick in. And with some things it's more of a slow burn and I appreciate very much that I own something, even some "make it work" items, as the years go by. And then of course the yes can wear off after a few years! I've come to accept the fluidity of it...or is it of me?

Lisa

Veteran

Excellent job being selective with new additions. It's not always easy to pinpoint when something is going to become a workhorse and/or well loved item when shopping.

My recent yes items would be cropped peach skinny jeans and coral shorts. I knew I wanted to experiment with shades of orange in my spring and summer wardrobe this year, but they are both new to me colors and I initially thought adding them would be a gamble, but I have a heavy blue based wardrobe and just knew they were going to work out. And both have been a delight to style thus far!

KUT from the Kloth Amy Fray Hem Crop Skinny Jeans

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Amazon Essentials Women's Mid-Rise Slim-Fit 5 Inch Inseam Khaki Short (Available in Straight and Curvy Fits)

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cat2

Veteran

I have been getting better at waiting for the brands that fit me best to cough up something that I need that is also in my palette. This year, sale pewter shoes from one of my favorite brands.

Irina

Veteran

You look fab in wide leg style!
A Yes item for me is something that not only enjoyable on its own but fits really well into my wardrobe. When it works effortlessly with lots of my existing clothing, I know a new item is in my style and will be useful and loved.

ChristelJ

Veteran

I can see why the jacket and jeans are yes pieces. They look terrific on you, and versatile.

If I walk away from something in a shop and can't stop thinking about it, it might be a yes piece. For me they have to add value by being a bit different than everything I already own, and tick quite a few boxes for things like fabric, color and comfort.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Excellent work discerning what is good from what is good for you. The new pieces look just right. The more clothing I process and sort (I have calculated it is more than a ton a week!) the more particular I have become about keeping only yes! items.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Good for you being picky. I try not to settle for a I can make it work item unless it fills a genuine gap. And I don’t think I have many gaps. I have a large wardrobe so I can afford to set the bar high. One of my goals for the year was (by the end of the year) to have a wardrobe where I love everything in it. That means applying a “do I love it?” standard to both purchases and editing decisions. Of course some items are not items I get excited about (eg layering tops) but I still want to be 100% happy with them in terms of colour, fit, comfort. No settling.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nice to hear from you, Rachel! I would have been all over those chelsea boots but you are absolutely right to hold out for something that feels more authentic to your style. Loving you in the wide legs!! And the jacket is fabulous for you and great with your hair colour. Wonderful choices!

RachelNZ

Agree with everyone that the chelsea boots are lovely (and Jenni they definitely were similar to the pair in photo 5). It was the little details and quite instinctual when I tried them on - the top of the boot was a bit wide around my ankle with tights, the toe was a bit rounder and it was wider through the foot when looking down at the top of my foot than my other boots. I also think the colour didn't work for me with black tights (which I wear the majority of the time in winter) - either I want them to stand out like the tan pair or blend in like my black ones. It was a good process to go through and I think I'm clearer on what any new pair of boots needs to contribute to my wardrobe.

There's some real wisdom on what it is about an item that makes it feel right:

Colour/Texture
Cut/Length/Proportion/Overall Fit
It aligns with our style words/vibe and works well with existing pieces
Other people comment on the item on us confirming our initial feelings
Can't stop thinking about it!

Although I think Angie is probably right that we need the no's to get clearer on the yes's

There are some lovely pieces that you have added to your wardrobes, that feel just right for you! May we all continue to find those items as much as we can!

Staysfit

Veteran

First, the jacket is lovely. Second, good on you for being able to recognize that a beautiful and well fitting item is still not right for you. Many times in the past I have tried to make something work because finding a good fit is so difficult. Sadly, I have even duplicated “make it work” items that fit and feel good to wear, when they were not in keeping with my style because I felt like there were not better options available. I do that much less often now.

How do I recognize a definite “yes”? That’s the big question! My short answer is that I have spent my time on this forum learning how to better recognize the “Yes” items by figuring out how to understand my personal style. Stop here if you prefer because the navel gazing answer is below.

I can certainly remember the first time I had that experience. The first time was in the 1960’s. My grandmother took me shopping and let me choose my outfit. I picked a sky blue button top. The sleeves had lions paws embroidered on them. There were matching sky blue trousers that had stately lions embroidered on the bottom section of the leg. Certainly the color was a favorite and it fit me well, however, my “Yes” may have had more to do with my interest in Joy Adamson at that time. It was also the one and only outfit in my wardrobe not chosen by my mother. :-). (Thanks Grandma Ida!) I wore that outfit until it was in shreds.

What made it and other items have that “Yes” quality? For me the “yes” seems to happen when multiple factors come together. It’s more than fit and feeling good. It’s more than a good color. It’s even more than the item looking good on me, because, if I’m honest with myself, lots of things look good on me. Often, my eye changes and I decide I like something that I previously despised. It’s really about mood, personality, memories the item may trigger, what I want to project to the world, current fashion trends and their influence on my eye, and definitely how I feel emotionally and physically when I wear an item. It’s also about proportions, pattern, texture and line. Is a garment stiff or fluid. Is it shiny, grainy, matte, etc. I have learned that with my bony frame, I do better with sleek outfits, structured shoulders and straight seams, certain types of collars and long lines. I am not going to pick a jacket with a curve around the bottom hem because it adds too much of a horizontal element. Steep diagonals are better. I like angles and straight lines in my clothing. If a pair of Chelsea boots fit me perfectly but were an alligator print, I would return them as they would be a make it work item. If they were a snake print, I would keep them and probably love them as a “Yes”. That decision would be about the texture of the material. The color could be solid and I would feel the same. The heel and shape of a shoe or boot can also determine if it becomes a “yes” or a “make it work item”. Too round a toe, too chunky a heel, etc. With time you can start to identify with more detail what exactly it is about an item that gives you the “yes” vs the “make it work” reaction.

Sal

Veteran

I have been thinking about this because I have made some purchases that were not a resounding yes. And regretted them. I wear them but I almost have to make myself.

I do know when it’s a yes-when I try it on and it’s quite instinctive. But when k am trying to push my style or sometimes a friend or retail assistant encourages me, I can be vulnerable to this.

This sweater and cargo pants should have been left behind. I wanted casual pieces and these looked good enough. But they were not a heartfelt yes at the time of purchase so should have been left behind.

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