Keep this Dress? - YouLookFab Forum

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Keep this Dress?

anne

Veteran

This dress was handed down to me. Another in the 'I would never have chosen this but does it work anyway?' series of outfits. My girls suggested belting as it was way too large otherwise. One detraction is that it slightly rubs my windpipe, but I wore it for half a day today, primarily so the giver could see it.

What do you think?

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Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from

rachylou

Veteran

It’s really very cute on you! I like that straight boat neckline for you... but discomfort is a no go... rubbing your windpipe sounds horribly irritating!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Anne, you look pretty in just about anything. It looks too big to me.
I understand that the person who gave it to you is trying to be kind, and I think you have said you are a pastor’s wife (please correct me if that’s wrong) so you are probably trying to be respectful and kind to the person, and maybe it’s financially helpful to have a clothing gift like this.
But honestly? I don’t personally think it’s making the best of yourself to accept something that maybe you don’t like all that much and that doesn’t fit you well.
I like the clothes you get to choose for yourself!
I suspect my feelings on this sort of thing have hardened over time, and if you really like it, by all means. You do look pretty in it. But that’s back to the beginning, you look pretty in almost anything... how do you FEEL about it?
Have a lovely Christmas xx

Vildy

Veteran

Boatnecks, especially, but any kind of high neckline will always rub some people (me!) because of the position of the shoulders relative to the base of the throat. Only solution is to not wear them or alter to a scooped out neck. Think this oversize but shortish dress is cute on you as is and maybe less so if neckline were changed. That's my way of saying probably better to pass on this one.

Kathie

Veteran

The neckline and sleeves are quite flattering on you. If the neck didn’t bother you, it could be worth altering so that you can wear it unbelted. But, I do think the combination of too large and bothersome neckline means you should pass this along to someone else.

kkards

Veteran

i don't remember seeing you in navy before, nice color on you...but other than that, its not even close to the right size, and i'm not sure its worth trying to alter...but i think that there is someone esle out there who would love this dress

cjh

(website)

Veteran

Everything Jenni said.

Joy

Veteran

What Jenni said. The dress seems to be wearing you and your shoulders look out of proportion to the rest of you. As someone who has worn clothes from others for many years, life is too short. Allow yourself to pick and choose what YOU like from the things given to you like a boutique and allow yourself professional alterations. You are working. You have earned it.

Helena

Veteran

Anne, I do think I agree. At a glance, it looks cute belted but at second glance I could sort of tell it is just too big. If the material was really drapey it might work with the belt, but it's almost holding it's shape too well to work that way - if that makes sense. I agree with others that paying it forward to someone it will fit better would be a great way of honouring the original owner's generosity.

nemosmom

Veteran

I agree with everyone. Best to pass it along so someone else can love and enjoy it.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m not looking at other responses first. I think it simply looks too obviously ill-fitting. The style does not appear to be one that suits an oversized look. Plus it’s annoying you to wear it. I would give thanks for the generosity of the giver and pass it on to someone else it will fit better.

Runcarla

Veteran

You have better. Jenni is wise.

nuancedream

Veteran

The overall fit of the dress is too large and black seems to drain the vibrancy of your skintone. The main thing I noticed in your picture is your Olympic swimmer shoulder line, which appears to be out of proportion with the rest of your frame. Also, a neckline that is rubbing your windpipe is a sure sign that the dress needs to find a home with someone else for whom it might be a better match.

LaPed

Veteran

I love how you've accessorized with the chunky white watch and necklace! But the dress itself doesn't seem to fit very well. Since it's not comfortable either I wouldn't hesitate to let it go.

slim cat

Veteran

It could work better with elastic belt and pendent but like everyone said it may be too much effort for a piece that you don't truly love. I'd pass it to someone else.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I echo Jenni too.

anchie

Veteran

Don’t feel guilty, pass it on.

smittie

Veteran

Gorgeous on you, and I love your hair this length!
I would remove the large necklace OR go for something smaller. That’s just me though.

Gigi

Veteran

Another vote for Jenni's sentiments. If you are asking the forum whether you should keep the item, it sounds to me like you are not in love with it. I would therefore pass it on.

It can be really tricky when people give us hand-me-downs. I had a friend give me a top that she was certain would look great on me. It looked OK, but it was too wide in the shoulders and was therefore uncomfortable. I also find it very important for me emotionally to be able to pick my own clothing. If you pass this along and then your friend asks about it, you could just mention that you wore it a few times and found the neckline to be uncomfortable, so you had to pass it along to someone else who could really enjoy it.

anne

Veteran

Thanks so much for responding everyone . Lots of answers for me to wake up too.

Jenni (and all who are echoing her points)- firstly thanks for saying I look pretty in anything. I don't always feel that way but it's nice to hear. And yes, I'm a pastor's wife and I understand the dynamic you are talking about. This exact giving situation is a little different. It's an older family friend who is an overbuyer and whose love language is gift giving
(and we always feel bad as recipients, because she's on a low income)

I don't in anyway feel like I need to keep all she gives us and we are quite clear to her about this.

She gave us a big bag full of clothes and DD kept a couple of things and I only kept 2 things (this was one) to try out. The rest are straight to the op shop bag.

She does however, have an eye for quality and some items are more expensive than I would purchase myself. And since I am an underbuyer and my bar for buying for myself is so high I'm willing to give handed down items a go if they pass an initial criteria . I forgot to mention that I had worn this to work once already, so I thought it looked ok.

Re the boatneck - you know, I usually love boatnecks - they are quite a flattering look on my body type. But the loose nature of this dress means it keeps hitting too high. My other boatnecks have been fitted tees and don't do this

Khards - I mustn't show enough pics - I wear navy quite often

Joy - Thanks.yes I am working, and can afford to buy clothes, even though my budget is on the low side for YLF. I don't need this dress for financial reasons - was more trying out a new style that wouldn't have occurred to me - I have a fairly narrow range of styles that catch my eye.

But I am feeling a cull coming up, and I think lots of these passed on items are going to go - I've given them some time in my wardrobe and they haven't proved themselves.

nuancedream - yes this dress really has defined V shape to it. I was conscious of my shoulders too, and even though I'm a pear shape, my strong shoulder line is something I struggle with in summer clothing generally.

Slimcat - actually I was wearing an elastic belt here, though it doesn't look like it.

La Ped and smittie - I do like this necklace, it's a workhorse for me. In fact I got heaps of compliments on it yesterday while only the giver mentioned the dress. The white watch is just my garmin - running watch. wasn't thinking about it as an accessory but glad that it worked.

Long story short - the dress is going. Thanks for being a sounding board!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I love your strong shoulder line, but not this dress on it. I’m glad you’re passing it on. As long as you have enough clothing to keep yourself dressed between laundry days, I don’t see why your guidelines for accepting gifts should be any different than for things you buy.

Anonymous

Agreeing to pass, especially since you said it's rubbing. Your friend wouldn't want you to wear something uncomfortable.