Just saying no... coping mechanisms

catgirl

In addition to SYC, I'm realizing I've made some decisions that involve saying no to a lot of other aspects of my life for now. A friend has been asking if I'll go on a weekend trip to Vegas with her, which I would LOVE, but realistically can't do with our budget goals. And losing some weight involves a lot of saying no to dessert and other weaknesses.

Other than whining, what do you all do to get yourself through self-imposed discipline?

15 years ago

General

13 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

RoseandJoan

Veteran

It doesn't help with the weight loss but in terms of saying no to new purchases I like to look at how many hours I have to work to afford an item, it really does give a fresh perspective (well for me anyway).

I did find when losing my maternity weight it was easier to say no if I allowed myself a reward at the end of the week. This reward would sometimes be a small portion of my favourite takeaway or a chocolate bar.

15 years ago

Jonesy

Veteran

Hmmm...I'm not sure what works best for me. I try to visualize how I'll feel once I've met my goal, and think how happy/proud I'll be once I'm there. Re. weight loss: I really hate the feeling of hunger, with the attendant lightheadedness, crankiness, etc. so I am apt to exercise more as my first choice, rather than cut back too much on food. So I'm afraid I'm no help in that department!

15 years ago

qfbrenda

Veteran

What works for me is making sure I have some "yes"s planned. No, I won't keep batches in the cookies in the house anymore, but yes, we can make some to take to lunch at church... or yes, I can order dessert sometimes when I eat out (which is a rare thing), but I won't make a large amount to have at home. Or if hubby and I are dying for ice cream, instead of buying a huge but cheap jug of ice cream, we'll get something very small and share it. It's more expensive per serving, but the quantities are way less.

15 years ago

Beth

Veteran

I also make sure there are some "yes" treats planned. It helps me from feeling as though I'm being too draconian with myself.

15 years ago

Megan

Active Member

I also find the way that I say no is important- saying 'I'd love to but we are prioritising buying a new couch so a trip is not in the budget right now' reminds me that saying no is a choice rather than "Sorry I can't afford it" which makes me feel deprived.

15 years ago

Kari

Veteran

I think that what helps me is to focus on that by saying "no" to one thing, I'm saying "yes" to some related benefit. For example: by joining SYC and spending less, I will be able to afford a trip to Disneyland with friends that will be a lot of fun. By passing up calorie-laden snacks that I overindulge in, I'll (hopefully) be able to fit back into some of my favorite clothes that are out of commission due to weight gain.

By devoting some of my after-work time to the gym rather than the internet, I've discovered that once I do cardio workouts for more than 20 minutes, the endorphins really kick in and power me through the rest of the workout, and I'm actually less hungry afterwards. And I'm already much more energetic. In late December I was really feeling low and sleep deprived, and contemplating asking my doctor for an antidepressant that had worked well for me in the past, but even after just a couple weeks of regular exercise I'm already feeling more like myself.

15 years ago

rae

(website)

Veteran

One word: codependency. I am not ashamed to admit it. I find it much easier to work out and diet when I have others to back me up.

When I can't get anyone to go along with my health schemes, frankly, I lie. Maybe I say my doctor told me to cut out sugar or something like that... this is probably because I am very susceptible to peer pressure, and people are always trying to get rid of their desserts and carbs by passing them on to me.

15 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

This is why I love the women here - all of you are so great at finding ways to be encouraging and make me laugh at myself!

15 years ago

Theresa

(website)

Veteran

AG I had a little moment at the shops today when I realised that I said NO for the first time without feeling bad!

I was eyeing off a new pair of shoes, but I have no budget left for January for clothing/accessories (I was contemplating stealing from Feb's allocation), but whilst standing admiring them, I realised that if I bought them, I would be even further away from saving up for a new handbag.

I think having that very specific goal in mind was the key!

Good luck!

15 years ago

Lynne

Veteran

Kari, I like the sound of the 'yes/no' dichotomy - it makes it more of a choice: do I choose this or the alternative? Thx for all good advice, girls!

15 years ago

MsMary

Veteran

I have to say, I'm feeling really good about getting off the buy-buy-buy merry-go-round. I had gone for literally YEARS without doing much clothes shopping, and for the past few months I've been shopping like a madwoman, so for me it feels very much like getting back to normal. And of course it's nice to watch the clothing account go back in the black instead of the red!

15 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I'm like qfbrenda and others - I have to figure out a way to say Yes to something. Saying No is so...unproductive.

I have to find some reason that outweighs my short-term desire otherwise it's impossible for me to say No to something I want!

For SYC I've been saying Yes to some things for our house that we've needed for a long time that will make our home life more comfy. That means no clothes shopping till Spring! I also know that I don't need any Fall/Winter items, and that I will re-evaluate what I need for Spring/Summer once I've lost weight and can fit into more of my stuff from last year, so it's not a decision that is appropriate right now. I am not saying No to spring clothes, I'm just waiting and then I'll make a few well evaluated purchases once the weather and my weight actually start to necessitate it.

15 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Jeneva, you are so right. We have house fixing on the agenda that I need to remember - like getting a new kitchen put in! Yay! I need to repeat it like a mantra...

15 years ago

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