Just got a nasty comment on my blog...

Jenava

I am considering taking down my outfit diary blog. My schedule has kept me from keeping it up actively anyway. I started it for myself to look back over my outfits, and I am open to constructive criticism, but "Isabella" just posted this comment:

"Sorry to say this but all of your outfits are depressing, they wouldn't do justice to anyone. "

Now, granted, my first page of outfits is not that cute right now; but this comment is really irritating. Not constructive, just hurtful.

How should I react?

16 years ago

General

26 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

marianna

Veteran

Ugh... "Isabella" is scum. We can't tell you how to react because obviously your feelings are hurt, and that is completely natural. Readers often forget that there is a real human with feelings behind the images online. All bloggers will experience such nastiness from time to time... it comes with the territory. It stinks, I know, but if you want to post your outfits online, you have to be prepared for harsh criticism. Even the big profit making style blogs experience nasty comments. It's not just you.

16 years ago

April

Veteran

Jenava, I don't have any experience with blogging, just wanted to offer a supportive word. That comment does seem harsh and unhelpful and I hope you won't let it deter you from your goal of keeping a record of your outfits.

16 years ago

taylor

Veteran

Oh boo:( Some people are just unkind and rude, no getting around that. Sitting behind a computer they must forget there is a real person on the other side with feelings.

Hold your head high. You are a lovely stylish woman. Can you turn off your comments?

16 years ago

bella

(website)

Veteran

delete the comment and move on. life is too short to take random strangers' nasty comments about you and your outfits seriously. i mean it!

16 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, when I started the blog I decided just to ignore the nasty comments. I've been fortunate not to get very many. Now, since I'm not updating the blog as much, it just doesn't seem worth it to bother keeping it up and deal with the riff-raff.

16 years ago

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

Ignore such nastiness. I know how hard it is. Being an artist I have been subjected to much criticism over the years and have developed a thicker skin. (not always) Constructive criticism is helpful and not rude. That was an ignorant , unhelpful and ridiculous comment. I do hope that you continue posting your outfits. Do not give such a negative person so much power.

16 years ago

Anonymous

That's too bad. Is this person someone who comments often and you've come to know her/him?
Some people are hardened on the outside like one of those Jordan Almonds, where you really have to work to get to the nut on the inside! HaHa! That analogy worked out in two ways rather than one!
I think you should pick your self up and dust your self off, and keep going about your business. If the same person remains an unreasonable pest who makes comments that are not critiquing in a positive way, block her/him. Let that pest find some one else to pester until they are blocked there also.
It could be a teenybopper too.
Good luck, and remember, we think you're great. That person is trying to entertain theirself.

16 years ago

Kristine

Veteran

That's awful! But I guess there are all kinds of people out there, it could be a 13 year old boy playing pranks for all we know. Don't let it get to you. I'd just take it down and try to forget about it. Do you have a setting that would let you moderate comments before they go up?

16 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Jenava, first of all, I'm awfully sorry that someone posted a hutrful comment on your blog. There is no excuse for rudeness and unfortunately some people can be extremely rude. This is something that I deal with from time to time too - having voiced my opinions and sometimes shown my outfits on YLF for almost 4 years.

I have a lot to say about this subject as I am forced to think about it often. I am more than happy to share a detailed perspective with you privately if you like - how you could take action in a very dignified way. (Not that I'm terribly dignified, but I've had lots of practise). I'll chime in again later.

(((hugs))). I can't seem to find the link to your website. Would you care to share it?

16 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

outfitdiary.blogspot.com

I had it linked through my profile but I took it off...*sigh* guess I should put it back and not let the lunatics control my behavior!

I originally started the blog as a research project. I was creating a new program to suggest outfits for me based on the weather, occasion, desire to wear a certain accessory, etc. and I wanted to get some observations of outfits I liked so I could try to program an "outfit logarithm" for suggesting outfits via a database.
Since starting it I've abandoned the project in favor of grad school (part time - working full time). In grad school I learned about association rule-mining, which is a new idea for how to come up with the "outfit logarithm". Rather than creating a rule based on my own observations I can let a software program "datamine" my past outfits (which I would have to log in a database) and come up with both suggestions for new ones as well as a shopping list of potential pieces.

So I wasn't really looking for comments or attention on the blog. I'm not a fashion-expert so I can't really dispense advice (that's what that database was supposed to be for (-: ) The blog format was really more a matter of convenience, since I can use my iphone to directly post pics. It's also handy for sharing links to new clothes I want feedback on, as I'm sure many here also do...

16 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

BTW, I do moderate comments, so I was able to reject it. But of course I still had to *see* it in my Inbox. Blah. Whatever, you area all right: I am going to let it go and keep posting as much as I can.

16 years ago

Lee Hovey

Active Member

Jeneva, do what feels right for you! If you have been thinking about taking your blog down anyway, then do it. But don't let some ignorant loser bully you into it.

I would love to check out your blog, if you don't mind.

I agree with Bella, just delete the comment, put it out of mind and keep moving forward!

16 years ago

Lee Hovey

Active Member

BTW, I just took a peek, and I have to say that commenter is a lunatic, your style is far from depressing. You have great style and appear to have a body type similar to mine, so I would love to continue seeing your style develop!

16 years ago

marianna

Veteran

I just took a look at your outfits and I love your style! Very simply stylish! I especially like the skirt with the bow belt!

16 years ago

cciele

Veteran

Ignore ignore ignore! It's so sad that people feel like they have to be snarky and mean in blog comments--c'mon, there are REAL PEOPLE behind the blog! I love your idea of using the blog as part of your research. Very cool. Meanwhile, YLFers have got your back. Keep the oufits coming!

16 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I would delete it and put it out of my mind. It's sad that you have to open yourself to that type of thing when you have a public blog. I got an anonymous comment last week asking my I am always wearing Converse. I replied with an answer about how they were good transitional weather shoes for me, were comfy, fit my MOTG lifestyle and how Angie endorses them. Well, I got another anonymous comment back from this person saying she disagrees with Converse for women over a certain age, and that I would look so much nicer in flats. Granted, this person was not just out to be nasty like your commenter, but it's still annoying. I had to delete a nasty comment form my own father once!

16 years ago

chellebrate

Active Member

I'm sorry. That is very rude. I wish we humans would remember the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" a little more often.

If you can follow Bella's advice, it's what I believe, too. Though I know it's easier said, than done. I appreciate all of the fashion blogs I've been reading, yours is no exception.

16 years ago

Active Member

I think it just happens.

Years ago I posted on a message board about how horrible my son, who was 2 at the time, was behaving, and I had a couple people come back and completely slam my parenting. I was so humiliated, I bawled about it. I mean, I realized I was putting myself out there, but I was shocked that total strangers would attack me like that. I think it's just part of posting things online. Some people have nothing better to do that criticize others, especially people they don't even know just because they can.

Her comment didn't come across as helpful or supportive in the least, did it?

16 years ago

Maya

Veteran

I operate on a "if I wouldn't say it to your face, I won't say it online" policy, but not everyone seems to have as much common sense. I don't understand what purpose or pleasure idiots like Isabella derive from leaving comments like that.

I would never be able to maintain a blog on any subject. I'm too thin-skinned. But I really appreciate those that do, even if I don't always care for or agree with what they write. It takes a lot of confidence, effort, and thought to maintain a blog and I can't trivialize that.

You really only have 3 options:

-Disable comments
-Develop a callous and shrug it off
-Stop blogging

Unfortunately filtering all rude and stupid people is not an option.

16 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Maya you're right. I don't want to disable comments because I do get a little thrill when I see that people are at least looking. Plus, as a blog reader I find it annoying when I can't leave feedback! I think I'll just let it go. I know that many people try to incite a response because they find it entertaining to whip other people up into a frenzy. I'm going to assume that was "Isabella's" intent with this post. It just felt like a big slap in the face at first. But I'm feeling better now. (-:

16 years ago

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Honestly, it's an absolute horrible phenomenon and side of human nature, why perfectly nice nice human beings feel the right to become bullies when online. It's frightening to now what people will do or say under the cover of anonymity.

Jenava, I'm sorry you or any blogger has had to experience this, your programme sounds fascinating.

16 years ago

Ele

(website)

Active Member

Isabella is what's known as blog "troll" and you're right- their aim is basically to get you riled up, in the hopes that you'll engage in some kind of comment war with them. I really have no idea why people do this, but I generally assume that they're particularly snarky 15-year-olds, or something. Not worth your time or worry, Jenava! Delete, ignore and move on.

I'll echo Julie that your outfit program sounds fascinating! Ever since I first saw Clueless, I've wanted something like that.

16 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

They say that one person can change the world, well one person can also slice through people's dignity. Don't allow her to do that. She obviously has a problem. I don't understand why she is looking at your site if it is "depressing" ? She is just being mean and hurtful and senseless. If she continues, block her. You have pride in what you do, hang onto that and be resilient.

Ignore her. I have never understood people who get off hurting others.

( Please don't hold my name against me : )

16 years ago

Vani

Veteran

Jenava, I find your outfit algorithm idea very interesting. How cool would that be to have a little software like that! As for the nasty comment, ignore and move on. I empathize with you because I'm the sort of person who can let the smallest of comments whittle away at my brain and confidence till it doesn't make sense anymore. I'm learning to brush aside negative people and negative comments as a failing of the source rather than me

16 years ago

Amy

(website)

Active Member

Some people have nothing better to do. Just ignore them. Don't let one bad apple spoil it all for you. Keep blogging.

16 years ago

Louise

Veteran

I think we are very lucky here to have an environment which is kind and supportive. Any critiscm is constructive giving suggestions for change. I would just ignore this person though i totally understand it has probably knocked your confidence you need to get back out there and show her that her rude comments haven't affected you (((hugs))) x

Edit- after viewing your blog I think a well placed scarf or necklace would kick some of the more neutral outfits up a notch but i certainly wouldn't call any of your outfits depressing x

16 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

There you go, Jenava! Hope that you're feeling better.

16 years ago

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