Joining the musing party - YouLookFab Forum

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Anonymous

I mentioned on my last thread that my wardrobe was in a good place. I focused on the neutrals and classic pieces to really make getting dressed easier- and move to the 5PF next year.

That said...Lisa's post, and a not so good conversation with my employer, got me to thinking. I have been buying for my current life. Most of my clothes are things I wear to my current job. And I have A Lot. I bought a lot, planned a lot, spent a lot of time/money/energy. My wardrobe was an easy thing to solve. A fun "problem." Trouble is: It Was Never My Wardrobe That Needed To Change!
Time to focus on the horse instead of the cart...

ETA- well over half of my purchases this year have been since July, since I've been back in the office. Not bad purchases, not a lot of $$, but wow that's A Lot of retail therapy...

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Tanya

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Hmm, I think the point is the part you didn’t say out loud, that your current life, the one you’re buying for, isn’t the life you want. When I started at YLF I was a year away from making a shift in climates, so I focused on finding themes in my wardrobe that would work in both, and building seasonal capsules in one that I could use in the other, with some additional pieces. Something like that might be useful for you as well. From all you’ve said elsewhere (but didn’t say here) it sounds like you’re headed away from the office and desk jobs. Are there ways you could bend your wardrobe so it still works where you are now and is also ready to adapt to the new environment you hope to be in?

Also, it sounds—here and elsewhere—as if you want to cut back your purchasing. The French 5 might not be the way to do that, seeing as it is a plan to buy 20 new pieces each year, on top of replacing “essentials” that are basically freebies and don’t get counted. So you could easily wind up with over 2 dozen purchases on the French 5.

I have no idea if that’s helpful, or even the direction you want to go in. I haven’t read the post you referenced, so there might be whole themes that I’m missing.

Anonymous

I don't know what the future will bring, and I'm ok with that!

F5P would be 2 seasons, just hot weather and cold, not 4. I'm going to aim for no more than 25 pieces overall, including replacements, with no more than 10 being the wildcards. Most categories will be one in one out, as I don't want to increase my wardrobe size.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

You don’t want to increase wardrobe size because you don’t have the space?

Anonymous

I think your comment about how it’s not the wardrobe that needs changing was quite profound . I think many of us pick something like our wardrobe to focus on and fret over as a diversionary tactic . I’m totally guilty of that .

rachylou

Veteran

Clothes and diet can be easy self-distractions… easy ways to kill time that one is biding…

Helena

Veteran

100% feel this ... I totally use fussing about these things as a distraction. A little retail therapy is no harm really, but great that you are investigating a longer-term 'cure' xx

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh, what Lisa said, 1000%. My wardrobe and shopping are a way to occupy myself, exercise some creativity (in a way that’s not work related and therefore feels like less pressure), and attempt to exert some control in a manageable part of my life when other more important matters feel too overwhelming. I come by it honestly — my mom did this too.

Please keep us posted on your thoughts and strategies. I know I could stand to improve my habits around this stuff.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am another one who uses their wardrobe as a distraction or something. It gives me a break from the other stuff that is going on in my life.

Sal

Veteran

I do this too. I swear my wardrobe is the best it’s ever been right now - but I can use it to avoid work or decisions elsewhere.

Suntiger - enjoy the clothes and your style - you are in this job now so you can wear these lovely pieces. If things change then you can tackle that then.

I have been trying to do the French 5 piece - I have two seasons of 5 plus essentials. I have added just over 20 for the year outside practical replacements like slippers, work backpack, athletic gear.

Anonymous

Things improved today- by a lot, but it's a temporary fix. No substitute for having a full staff....At least I don't have to choose between my job and my mom!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I certainly use this forum as a distraction from whatever else is going on or needs to happen. It’s easy interaction with little follow-up required.

Sloper

Veteran

Glad to hear of the improvement today. I empathize with combination of stressful work situations and family priorities.

Yes to Janet and Rachylou and other comments about giving time to some things (like clothes) but not taking care of the real issues.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Yes to Janet and Rachylou and everyone's comment about distraction. I do have a slight contrarian addition: what is so wrong with that? Thrifting is 100% my therapy - cheaper and more enjoyable than the real thing.

Anonymous

Shevia, I agree. My thrifting/consignment shop additions do not cost me much and are a valuable shopping outlet plus the happiness wardrobe renewal brings. I have mostly added more color and pattern to my summer wardrobe and now fall/winter am still working on that. Last week I added an Icelandic sweater dress that can also besorn open as a dress. I wore it yesterday with jeans (denim joggers) as a duster and got lots of compliments. In return I reduced my wardrobe by 10 items that were consigned. I have my eye on a plain tomato red cable knit pullover. It would be warm…maybe too warm, and bright. I think it will brighten jeans and brown, tan and grey pants, plus be a nod to the holidays with a plaid scarf in red, white, green and black. Now to decide if I should hold out for a sweater that is less warm. Maybe I need both.
I find retail therapy has lots of bang for the buck and it keeps giving, as long as there is no guilt for over spending or it taking up too much room.

LaPed

Veteran

Hmm, is tinkering with your wardrobe a distraction, or a means of helping yourself identify the parts of your life that actually need "refreshing"?

I'll be so curious to hear about your F5P 2022. Please keep us posted!

Anonymous

Well it's the taking up too much room bit thats problematic! I have a tiny closet, a dresser, and a cedar chest for storage. Plus the room with the closet and cedar chest may need to house my mom for a while very soon.

My mom is my example of what not to do wardrobe wise. She came to the US with nothing, and made up for it in spades! Her things are mostly thrifted or otherwise inexpensive, but shes collected bins and bins and bins of them. Things aren't inexpensive if there's a lot that's not used.

I want my wardrobe to be the opposite! Even when we build the new bigger house, I still want to just keep things I use regularly.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

It's always a balancing act. Tinkering with our wardrobes is a fun distraction and can, as LaPed pointed out, lead us towards understanding who we actually would like to become and the life we'd like to lead. But, of course, clothes alone won't ever be enough to enact that change.

Hopefully, scaling back to just a few statements a year will help you gently nudge your wardrobe and your life hand-in-hand.

And, goodness, I think most of us find ourselves straining against our mothers' examples at one point or another.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Glad to hear things may be improved (at least temporarily) on the job front.

I hear you about your mother and not wanting to follow that example. I'd say you are well on your way to this. Yes, you may have indulged in more pandemic shopping than would be ideal, but if you are wearing the items (and you are) then that seems reasonable.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

It’s certainly psychologically difficult, IME of the past couple of years, to really reduce the numbers purchased.(12 last year, 11 this year so far). I have a “need” (not a real need) for different pretty things. I am managing it by means of putting lots of things on wish lists that I know I won’t get ( um, 15 more pairs of shoes? Nope, not happening). And also really going and checking my wardrobe and my lists, where at least the obsessive counting of wears ( “That’s rather OCD, isn’t it?”, points out DD2) has helped me to see what I am very unlikely to wear. Even then, I may yet get a jacket I have fallen in love with which is a statement… when I have 5 summer jackets of which only one is worn over 30 times… but that one 89 times! Would new jacket be an under-30 or an 89-er? How can one tell in advance? Certainly the 89-er was strongly loved instantly, but I did think I really liked the others too…
No answers for you but good luck!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I’m happy in-between bins and bins of unused things and a closet too small to change my mind. Today I’m wearing flare pants I bought in early 2019. I wore them frequently that winter & the next, then hardly touched them last winter at all.

I hope your mom staying with you doesn’t mean you have to weed through all that stuff she’s stockpiled. Either way, good luck!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What Suz said

Suntiger, we all coped as best we could in the pandemic....and still are. You did a great job realigning your wardrobe to changing sartorial preferences. You needed to do that, and are there! It was fun, therapeutic, successful, and a good distraction. WELL DONE!

Now you can focus more on work, your life goals, and what you want out of it.....while wearing your beautiful new clothes!

Tanya

Veteran

I am another one who focuses on wardrobe as diversionary tactic to distract from bigger issues, often ones I cannot do anything about at all. I do not see anything wrong with it as long as doesn't leave negative effects elsewhere (storage issues etc.). If half a day spent in my closet playing with putting various outfits together produces better therapeutic effect than a session with a pro, why would I do the latter?

I hear you about the situation, especially with your Mom, but I think we should all be kind to ourselves during these crazy times.