Jenny's Style Epiphany - YouLookFab Forum

I'm having a style epiphany. It feels sudden but it's really not. It's been brewing since I had my twins - almost 2 years ago now!

My lifestyle changed from working gal to SAHM, and the vast majority of my wardrobe no longer worked for me.

For a number of reasons (increased expenses, significantly decreased income since I'm not working, slight change in weight distribution) I haven't bought much in the way of clothes during this time. Nor have I spent much time here on YLF (which makes me particularly sad).

I usually end up desperate for something and grab stuff at Target. I like the things when I buy them, but they end up not being quite right. The material isn't right, the shirt/pant length isn't right, the style isn't *really* what I wanted, etc.

Well I've made a decision, at the urging of my husband I might add, to just stop.

I am NOT going to buy another thing that I don't love.
I am NOT going to buy another thing that is not a quality item.
I am NOT going to buy another pair of shoes that hurt my feet.
I am NOT going to buy another pair of pants that I have to tug up all day.
I am NOT going to buy another shirt that I have to tug down all day.

I AM going to search for and be willing to pay for clothes that are of good quality and will last (and not feel guilty about it).

I AM going to spend time (and not feel guilty about it) finding clothes that fit both my style persona and my lifestyle, even though I know that may not be easy.

I AM going to buy shoes that are quality (and not feel guilty about it), fashionable, and that feel great on my feet.

I AM going to make it a priority to begin building a small but very functional mom-on-the-go Spring/Summer capsule this year (and not feel guilty about it).

I AM going to return items (and not feel guilty about it) that don't meet all of the above qualifications, instead of shoving them in the back of my closet, telling myself that I will just have to suck it up and wear them.

Finally, I AM going to make it a priority to be active here again, both to give and to get. This community is special to me. I've missed it, and I want back in.

I don't have a lot of "me" time really, but there is no reason I can't find enough time to at least read/comment on a few posts a day.

Love all of you guys!

13 years ago

MsMary

Veteran

Amen! Sing it, Sister!! These are great resolutions! And I'll look forward to having you hang out here a bit more!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*applause*

No. Make that,

(((((*APPLAUSE*)))))

We miss you, Jenny! We want you back too.

Suz

FAB!!!!

This is a wonderful manifesto. You go!!

Caro in Oz

Looking forward to getting to know you, Jenny.

cciele

Those are all excellent realizations Jenny! Good for you. Hope to see you back here when you have time!

unfrumped

Good for you! You are not alone in needing a style redirect after such a big lifestyle change.

What I hear is that you need more time for shopping and less buying. Meaning just, you need to explore some brands and retail venues and try a lot of stuff on and start to get a sense of fits and fabrics that work for you. Not a one- time marathon that will exhaust you. Don't be discouraged if a whole store or brand has not much for you at sny one time--keep your goals in mind and keep looking, and you will come across some fab items and some SAHM outfits snd formulas that look great.

JennyK (NC)

Active Member

Thanks everyone! I'm online while the kids are napping, looking on the Nordstrom website and making a list of items I need (boyfriend jeans, white shirt, sandals, etc.).

I should be washing dishes and getting dinner ready but...

MNsara

Hooray - these are wonderful promises you've made to yourself! It will be fun to see what items you decide are worthy

Astrid

I love your epiphany! I'm looking forward to seeing more of you and your style on YLF, I think you were here before my time. Having pieces that work for you and your everyday life is so satisfying, even when they are only a few. I saw you commented on my long post, so you've probably seen that I'm all about remixing and have a fairly small wardrobe. But when I'm dressed I feel good and can go comfortably about my day, that's the most important thing. Good luck with your hunt!

abc

I am having a similar epiphany myself, but there is no way I could have articulated it the way you did.

Like MaryK said, Amen, Sister!!!

Tina.b

I love this! I think everyone should read and abide by these principles.

Hooray! I had to 'give' myself permission to buy quality just last summer. I still, somewhere, somehow, didn't think I was worth spending on. At 42 years old, with no children to save for and a paid for home for Pete's sake!
Good for you. You (and we all) are worth spending some time and money on!

Louise

Yay for style epiphanies
I hear you on the comfy shoes. I was looking for funeral shoes over the weekend, mum actually laughed at me when I said " I need a low heel, rounded toe and straps or laces to hold them on my feet" I didn't find the perfect pair and wore some not perfect ones I already own. That's ok though I'll just wait for the perfect pair as I've decided even my occasions shoes need to be comfy x

Jjsloane

Good for you and welcome back! It's really hard to balance it all (especially when your twins are so young) but you will work out a balance. Don't feel guilty spending time (or a little money) on yourself to feel good. It will translate to your family and friends through your attitude!

Tanya

What a wonderful epiphany! I think we should all print those commandments out and pt them on our closet doors

DonnaF

Yes!!! I think one of the hardest things is finding the time to shop for oneself, since we so often put ourselves at the end of the list. Thus, in a rush we grab something at the store and don't really notice that it's not quite right or find that making a return just adds to the list. . . Good for you! Sounds like you have a supportive husband.

Jaime

You finally have a moment to have epiphanies and think about yourself and yours is wonderful! (Said from a mom of twins who found YLF when hers were around the same age as yours are now.) Welcome back!

Thistle

Great list! Something I wish I could stick to all the time!

Tanya - the commandments on the door! That's actually a great idea. I think I will actually do this!

Shevia - Hi fellow twin mom! I guess yours must be 4 or 5 then?

I'm working on a list of items I think I need for my MOTG capsule, and I am so inspired by Astrid's work. I think I will do this too. It is an emotional experience though! I will have to face the fashion mistakes I've made as well as the life I left behind when I had the twins.

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