Jeans & What's Acceptable - YouLookFab Forum

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Jeans & What's Acceptable

Deborah

Veteran

Hi Ladies,

This morning the woman who writes the fashion column in our local paper asked "when did jeans become an acceptable piece of clothing in every social situation?" Reasonable question but she then went on to potentially alienate every local woman whose lifestyle befits frequent jeans wearing by stating that there is a time and a place for jeans and then demeaned them further by suggesting that place is not "every day":)

You may have guessed that I'm not a fan and rarely agree with anything she writes, however that's not the point of this post, and I don't mean to sound disrespectful.

I am sure we all agree that jeans are not appropriate for formal occasions, some work places, etc but what is wrong with wearing jeans out to lunch, even dinner and doesn't the fact that there are so many different cuts and colors available mean that jeans are more workable in a variety of situations?

So I wondered what you all thought about when its ok to wear jeans and how often it's ok to wear jeans. I know we have forum members who look amazing in their jeans and who wear them often and might even consider them part of their signature style.

What do you think?

xxxDeborah

Dressing

47 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Internally I roll my eyes at the folks who wear jeans to the symphony, but I agree with you that these days, in most areas of the world, jeans in a nice outfit are appropriate in 75% of the places you can think of.

I'm reminded of my mother, who wasn't allowed to wear pants to school. Not just jeans, any pants. Those were the days when 'proper ladies' wore hats and gloves in public, and uncomfortable undergarments.

I'm not sure that now is better than then or vice versa - each has their own reasoning and good and bad points.

Lantana

Veteran

My jeans are the most well constructed "bottoms" I own. They also provide the best bang for buck in terms of fabric finish, fit and wear. I think this is true of jeans for many, many countrywomen who lead a casual life, as I do.
So why wouldn't we wear jeans everyday?
Well, even in a sleepy little country town there are occasions when jeans are just too casual: weddings (unless in a paddock), funerals, presentation nights for school and clubs spring to mind as occasions when the frocks get an airing.
Deborah, I wonder if your journo was stirring the pot a wee bit?

Deborah

Veteran

That may be true and she concedes she is a jeans wearer (at least i think thats what she was saying) however lets just say her general approach suggests little connection with the real/average woman and a somewhat elitist approach to fashion. And please don't think I am picking on her for that, as I'm sure she is a lovely woman, but I just don't share her apparent attitude. When discussing style and fashion I think it's really important to be inclusive and not speak to women without regard for the variations in our lifestyles.

Lantana

Veteran

Agree absolutely, Deborah, on your point of inclusivity.

Irene

Veteran

It really depends on so many factors: age, lifestyle, attitude towards life, event, people at the event...

Like weddings. Ok, so it's been a long time since I went to a wedding (must have been nine years old) but I do remember my mom wearing a nice set of pants & jacket, simple, stylish and discrete. I assume most people dressed that way (in their personal styles). For me and my surroundings, a wedding is an event where you dress nice and look pretty but don't go overboard. If I were invited to a wedding right now, ok, I wouldn't be wearing jeans, but I would probably be wearing a fun cocktail dress or something like that. I would not be wearing a long, tail dress in a really striking color and a hairdo that took three hours. And yes, I've seen women my age attend weddings in that attire, which might look very normal to them and THEIR people but strikes me as really odd and custom-like to me.

Does that make any sense? When I posted a New Year's look that featured jeans back at the start of this year, some of you guys told me that jeans were not appropriate. Well, they were appropriate at the parti *I* was attending.

FWIW, I wear jeans almost daily, even at work. What's more, I feel like I'm one of the most dressed up women at my office, and I keep it really casual. Some days ago they were joking that maybe we should have a 'Smart Friday' and dress nice once a week lol My supervisor (30 sth) complained that she doesn't even own winter heels!

Deborah

Veteran

Irene I totally agree that there are so many factors to consider. I just went back to look at your NYE outfit and it looked great! And it was clearly appropriate for the party. And I think many of the women here have demonstrated how jeans can be dressed up or dressed down very successfully.

I like the "smart Friday" idea!

sarah

Veteran

I agree that jeans are acceptable in *almost* every situation, but I will not wear jeans to a funeral, wedding, or "evening" out to a play or the symphony or some such occasion. I think that jeans can certainly look dressier than they ever could before because of the fit and washes, but they are still jeans.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Pretty much what Sarah said. I agree the cut and wash and styling of jeans can make them more appropriate than they were in past. Her opinions sound outdated or a reaction to seeing jeans in every situation (kind of how I feel about cell phone use now - it's still rude to not speak to or even give your attention to the person who is checking you out of a store people!) Sorry I veered off course.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, the last wedding I attended the bride and groom chose to wear jeans. lol. It was out on a ranch in a field of flowers in the hill country. So I guess it truly depends on the location and mood, not necessary the type of event. I wouldn't feel very comfortable wearing jeans to a city wedding in a proper church. Or to the symphony. Or an important business meeting. Unless it was a business meeting about ranching or farming. At the same time I try not to judge by clothing because I know some very successful people who obviously don't feel shy about wearing jeans to ANY event. Maybe it's more about *how* you wear them.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I think jeans get some bad reputation because their are associated with a very casual dressing. If you wear jeans people almost expect it to be with t-shirts, sweatshirts and snicker-like shoes. That king of jeans outfit is not appealing to me at all and I would agree with her if this is the king of jeans outfit she has in mind.
However smart casual style with well fitting jeans when you have nice shoes, polished shirt and jacket is a completely different matter IMO. I think this style is appropriate in the majority of situations with an exception of formal work environment, weddings, formal parties and interviews.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

THIS is a great conversation

krishnidoux

Veteran

There is jeans and then jeans. What type of jeans does she have in mind when writing? Mom jeans? Then there are NO acceptable situation for these.

shiny

Veteran

I've told this story before, as I aired it on YLF when it happened. I was working a business conference and I showed up in jeans. COH Huttons -- smart, dark wash, trouser cut. With silk blouse, blazer, and red patent leather shoes. I was reprimanded for wearing jeans. By a coworker who was dressed in sloppy, ill fitting slacks and a sloppy, ill fitting sweater, with what I'd call "nursing" shoes... comfortable, yes... technically not sneakers... but really they looked like black sneakers.

This coworker was pretty difficult all around, and I do look back now and realize that she was determined to send me off kilter, by pointing out my jeans and then sighing, rolling her eyes and saying "no, there's no time to go home and change."

Anyway... nobody else ever even *noticed* I was wearing jeans! I wound up receiving compliments for my outfit. From our (female) VP. Then our (male) VP showed up to do his keynote. In jeans. Yes. Dark wash, very polished jeans, oxford shirt, blazer....

That said, I'm not really a jeans person. I have them. I wear them. I've even lucked out finding some pairs I'd deem comfortable. But more often than not, I'm in a dress, skirt, ponte knit pants, etc instead... as I find those more comfortable. I don't have any jeans with fading, or a light wash, or beloved enough they've gotten cool holes or frays. There is a part of me that wishes I did... I admit. So it's not necessarily a choice, sticking with smarter/dark wash/polished denim. Heh!

I'm rambling ... but ultimately? Yes, I think jeans can be overdone. I wonder don't people get bored, always wearing jeans? And yet I envy that they find them comfortable, and a figure that can fit into and find a variety of brands and styles and washes. And ... I'm going to always admire anyone who can pull of jeans, even in circumstances when jeans aren't supposedly appropriate. That is a true skill.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Society evolves...it's a fact of life. I know that many of us here often bemoan the fact that casual seems so acceptable when we'd prefer to see people dress up, that just isn't the way things are, so we need to strive to dress stylishly within the context of our culture. That's not to say we don't defy the cultural norm at times and push back toward more formality, but we still need to accept the fact that this is 2012 and women wear jeans in many social situations, so let's do it with style! I certainly wouldn't want to be the only one in a cocktail dress at a Super Bowl party, or the only one in a ball gown at a wedding. I can push the boundaries of the societal norm, but I still want to look like I'm living in the same decade.

Jeans have become acceptable attire for most smart casual occasions, so why waste energy getting your feathers ruffled about it? Wear jeans that make you look and feel fabulous and style them in a way that says "I am a stylish and confident woman!"

**I'm not implying that there was any feather ruffling here.. just the author of the article

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Well, I wear jeans almost every day, so I am a bit biased in their favor.

I can see wearing a nice "premium" pair, with appropriate top/jacket/heels/clutch to something like a performance of an avant-garde symphony or similar classical music. Jeans are definitely fine for nightclubs, or at least the sort I would be likely to go to, and relatively casual lunches or dinners. In fact the only time I would feel out of place wearing jeans to lunch would be if it were an occasion like, say, a retirement party, business lunch, or a really swanky restaurant. Meeting a friend at Nando's chicken or the gourmet burger place for lunch is definitely a jeans-appropriate event.

Obviously the jeans should fit well and be paired with appropriate toppers and shoes for the occasion. In fact, come to think of it, it's more the stuff that you wear with jeans that makes them appropriate more than the jeans themselves. A fancy pair of dark wash jeans worn with a standard-issue men's t-shirt and grubby sneakers is not really appropriate for a lunch date, IMHO, but a pair of cheap jeans with nice shoes, a cute top, and a decent bag would be fine.

MsMary

Veteran

I think I've said before that one of the VERY VERY few fashion lines I won't cross is "no denim at the office." Which makes me sad because I love my denim, but... it's my line and I won't cross it. I have worn my premium denim to the theatre (opening night at the "smaller, hipper" theatre in town) but I wouldn't wear it to the symphony or a church wedding. Everybody wears jeans to EVERY restaurant in town here in L.A., so I would (but generally don't) wear them to fancy dinners out.

If you want to be hugely entertained, go over to http://www.cruisecritic.com and sit back and watch the fights on the message boards about jeans in the cruise ship dining rooms! HILARIOUS!!!

DonnaF

Veteran

I hope that journalist was referring to both women and men, and not just women.

JAileen

Veteran

I live in the intermountain western US. Here, I think nice jeans are considered acceptable on all occasions. Once I went to a wedding at a church where the bride wore white western boots under her gown. I wore a dress to that wedding, but some people wore jeans.

A popular look for men which I like, is jeans, sport coat, button down shirt, boots. The key to this look is that everything is clean, pressed and tailored.

I have trouser cut jeans which with a cute jacket and boots is perfect for lunch with friends. In fact, if I were to wear nice slacks, people ask me why I'm so dressed up!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

As someone who wears jeans almost every day, I am perhaps not the best person to opine on how often it is "okay" to wear them!

But I work from home, am a mom, and live in a small, very casual city full of university students. The environmental norm is jeans. I am seen as "dressed up" at most occasions if I add a jacket!

My natural bent is actually towards slightly dressier looks so I take every opportunity to get dressed up, including but not limited to weddings, funerals, dinners out, lunches out, public readings, (my own and others'), musical and theatre performances, and sometimes, just going to the grocery store!!

Typically, I will be one of the dressiest people there in these situations.

But I still mostly wear jeans when I am at home. Jeans are in a sense my workwear. If I put on my jeans and a nice woven shirt or sweater and a scarf, I can simply add a jacket and booties to go out. Meanwhile, I am comfortable for the day's activities.

I'd like to know what this journalist might suggest as a suitable substitute for a woman in my position for everyday wear. Would she prefer yoga pants?

I can and DO wear skirts and dresses -- jersey works particularly well. But quite honestly, pants work better for when I am curled up on my couch writing or when I'm mixing household chores with my work during the day...and so jeans are my best friend.

krishnidoux

Veteran

I'm so with you Suz!

christy

Veteran

As so many have astutely pointed out here, it all depends on the environment. I'm in an office where denim is not permitted, so it would be unacceptable to wear jeans to the office unless it's one of our rare "jeans days". On the other hand, for people who work from home or in a more casual office, I see no reason why jeans wouldn't be acceptable every day. I do agree that there are occasions where jeans aren't the most appropriate choice - the theatre, weddings, funerals come to mind - but again, context is important. The choice of denim and fit and styling is also critical to the conversation of whether or not someone is dressed appropriately (shiny's example of the sloppy co worker versus her well styled denim outfit is a perfect one).

I'm hoping she means poorly styled, sloppy jeans are tiresome and inappropriate - not denim as an entire category!

shiny

Veteran

JAileen wrote: " In fact, if I were to wear nice slacks, people ask me why I'm so dressed up! "

See, I find that very sad! If it's okay to wear jeans to nearly any occasion, why question anyone who wants to wear a dress or nice slacks??

I'm fortunate in that I have found a group of local women friends who encourage the wearing of skirts and dresses. We have No Pants Wednesdays. I do like dressing up, I just long have felt like I stood out too much when I do. Because of people asking "why are you so dressed up?" I hate that.

However it sounds like the article writer went too far in the other direction.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Today's denim offerings are varied - there's everything from the baggy BF right through to the dressier, dark wash trouser jean. Wear a trouser jean with heels and a sequinned blazer and it's dressy enough for many occasions.

I agree that there are occasions to not wear jeans but if a person has a more casual lifestyle, why not wear jeans almost every day? Not the SAME pair of jeans, 'cause that's just gross! As Suz has asked, what is she suggesting?

I think overall society is becoming a bit more casual in many social occasions and sometimes pushes the boundaries of good taste but it's judgemental in my opinion to give a blanket statement as the author has done.

Gaylene

Veteran

OK, I'll admit that I love wearing jeans-- always have and always will! BUT, I was nodding in agreement with the writer's point that, despite the various incarnations that are available, there is a case to be made for NOT wearing jeans constantly, especially as one grows older. Putting figure flattery issues aside, it seems rather unimaginative and unsophisticated to always grab a pair of jeans instead of investing some creativity and imagination into one's outfit.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

Shannon said so well what I wanted to say about society becoming more casual in social situations, and I agree that a blanket statement about jeans doesn't really help.

When I was a clerical worker at my university, jeans were against the dress code in my department. So, some of the ladies showed up in really bad stretch pants instead - we're talking pants that were clearly loungewear, and often loungewear that had seen better days - jeans would have been a big improvement. But it fit the letter of the dress code, if not the spirit.

Ariadne

Veteran

My situation is the same as Suz's.

Makrame

Veteran

Interesting. I find dark-wash, trouser-cut or bootcut jeans to be one of the most flattering and "universally appropriate" items of clothing for me personally. Most days at work, New Years eve parties, social occasions etc. As, others have said, not for a wedding or a funeral, perhaps not to wear to an opera etc. Although if I am unsure of the dress code (such as a very fancy restaurant) I try to refrain from wearing jeans.

On the other hand, I have a personal rule of not wearing denim on teaching days (when teaching medical students; fine for graduate student teaching) so when I am teaching 3 days a week, I find myself longing for a pair of jeans.

Echo

Veteran

Shiny made the point I want to expand on. Jeans have become so ubiquitous that people now question why someone is NOT wearing jeans. If the tolerance about a person wearing "nice" jeans to nicer restaurants and other places is to be extended, then it is ridiculous for the people who do NOT constantly wear jeans to be questioned about their lack of casual clothing. Since when did it become unusual to wear a dress out to dinner, for example?

While what other people wear doesn't typically trouble me (hey, if you want to wear jeans to all sorts of places, that's fine), it DOES bother me that ultra-casual is now becoming the norm. It is difficult to find a restaurant that won't admit people wearing jeans, which is a shame, IMO. If almost everyplace allows jeans, what's the matter with one or two places that don't? Why should the person who is not wearing jeans be singled out anymore than the one who is wearing them?

I personally feel that the pendulum has swung too far in the casual direction. In my yeyes, it is not acceptable to wear pajamas in public, jeans to the opera, or sneakers... well, anywhere but the gym. That's not to say I would openly criticize someone who does, but I would like there to be a few hold-outs - places where they will NOT admit people wearing jeans and sneakers. It is pretty sad when you have to question where you can go for a "nice" dinner and not be stared at because you are wearing a dress.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

This ties into the thread I started yesterday about what is casual, as well. As far as dress codes/standards go, it does get tricky because plenty of non-jean pants or skirts can be far less formal/dressy/work-appropriate than some jeans. But how do you codify that into a document or a rule?

Like Suz I feel out of place when I get dressed up, and people do make comments. If I wear anything other than jeans, a jeans-equivalent like cords or twill pants, or a casual knit dress I get weird looks and feel awkward. That's just the way of things where I live and the fact that I don't work in an office.

My personal 'line' is no denim at the symphony, nice dinners out, weddings, or funerals - those are the examples I can think of off the top of my head.

I do think there's an aspect of elitism/classism in all this, let's be honest. Nice clothing has always been 'proof' that you were wealthy enough to be impractical in what you're wearing. And I think some of the backlash against fast fashion is the fact that when most everyone can afford a trend, it loses its exclusivity.

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