First, I love the balloon jeans and want to try them for myself -- I got the M&S version but these Levis look even better.
Second, since you have a sentimental attachment to 501s, I think it's worth trying a different pair or different wash of the 501s in the same size. I have found with jeans, sometimes it makes a difference. I do think that camera angle affected our impressions here, and also, the jeans will relax some in the crotch area. As someone with a long rise, I often have that problem and I know from experience that after the first wear the waist and hip stretch just enough to relax the crotch point in this type of style.
Also, the conversation about phantom penis, polterwang, and not needing a new husband cracked me up so much I almost spit out my coffee!