I've been on a shopping spree this month - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

I've been on a shopping spree this month

Anonymous

I have no idea what brought this shopping spree on. It is not the changing of the seasons. It is certainly not need-based. I just feel this incredible urge to shop.

And shop I have. What strikes me is that I am shopping just to shop. I tell myself I have a plan, but there is no plan. I am bringing home everything I see. The one saving grace is that most of what I am buying falls within a color scheme that works with the rest of my wardrobe. So there shouldn't be any orphans.

This lack of a plan reminds me of my pre-YLF days. I had a large wardrobe at that time, but I didn't really have anything to wear because my purchases were so impulsive and whimsical. I am shopping that same strategy today.

You would think with all these forum posts focusing on wardrobe evaluation and planning, I would at least have some sort of plan in mind. Nope.

I may need to take drastic action. I am considering a "shopping fast." Thirty days of absolutely no discretionary buying to put the brakes on my spending.

Lancôme 'L'Absolu Rouge' Hydrating Shaping Lip Color

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Eileen Fisher Stretch Crepe Ankle Pants (Regular & Petite) (Online Only)

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AUTHENTIC 1969 two-tone real straight jeans

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AUTHENTIC 1969 best girlfriend jeans

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Jen7 Stretch Sateen Slim Straight Leg Pants

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Bobeau Pleat Back High/Low Tank

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Nike Mesh Back Fleece Vest

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Halogen Colorblock Side Slit Tunic Sweater (Regular & Petite)

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Nic + Zoe 'Perfect' Tank (Regular & Petite)

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Nike 'Obsessed' Dri-FIT Training Pants

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Adidas 'Xperior' Softshell Jacket

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Vionic 'Caballo' Pointy Toe Flat (Women)

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Vionic 'Minna' Leather Flat (Women)

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Shopping

45 replies

Latest reply was from Chris987

Tanya

Veteran

Most of these look like pretty simple, basic pieces, so I can not imaging them not being worn. However, do you know what you actually need/would like for fall? I remember a certain beautiful blouse challenge

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

treat yo'self as they say on Parks and Rec.

Murph11

Veteran

2-tone Gap jeans... Fantastic!! You've shopped; you've paused; all good.

Mochi

Veteran

I agree that everything you've bought looks extremely practical.

Joy

Veteran

I like your finds and can pse them fitting into your wardrobe. What puts the brakes on my shopping is vowing to do a strict one-in-one-out. When I ask myself what I will give up, often there is nothing, so I don't buy.

Anonymous

You are human and you can't always be 100% Rational all the time.

El Cee

Veteran

These look like pieces in a practical and cohesive capsule, not at all like random impulse purchases. The two-tone jeans are particularly fabulous. But I understand your desire to not go back to pre-YLF shopping patterns. I like your idea of a 30-day "shopping fast". I need to do something similar -- at least until I have time to go through my Fall/Winter clothing (now in storage).

RobinF

Veteran

I agree these all look pretty basic and would fit into many wardrobes. I like Joy's plan of a one-in-one-out plan. I find if I give myself a total ban then I just want to do it more, so just a slow down like that might be better.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I go through times like that, and then I step back and have a two-month span where I don't buy anything, and I am an impulsive, emotional shopper who rarely shops "with a plan," so I understand. Take a deep breath and carefully evaluate what you've bought to make sure you really love each piece before cutting the tags. Usually if I feel guilty about purchasing, it's because I feel unsure about the purchase.

And I love those Gap two-tone jeans. I have a feeling they may do unfortunate things to the saddlebag-plagued, but I might have to try them on if I see them in person, just to satisfy my curiosity.

Joyce B

Veteran

You got great and useful pieces! I also love the two toned jeans and the EF pants must fit beautifully. When you go shopping I want to go shopping too, I think we have similar taste but I really cannot shop now, unless it's something I absolutely need.
Like Janet mentioned, don't cut the tags until you are sure.
How did you find the fit of the Vionic Caballo? I had to go half size down but then they were just right and did not feel like they would mold to my feet. If I took out the insert they were roomier though. I got the same silver ones for my daughter, I hope they will fit her.

JAileen

Veteran

I agree with the others that these are practical items. I know what you mean though, I seem to shop that way. At NAS, I just looked at things I liked and boughts tons of stuff. All but four things were returned though. I really like the Adidas jacket. When I clicked on it, I found the yellow color to be called "shock slime". I wonder who thought that up?

BrieN

Veteran

Can you put your finger on what may be driving your shopping? It doesn't sound like you're pleased with your purchases so much or their ability to get you dressed for your life, so perhaps there is something else going on?

Anonymous

Joyce -- the shoes have not arrived yet. I have had exceptional luck buying Vionic in medium width and they fit me incredibly well. In fact, Vionic has become my "go-to" shoe. This is a pleasant surprise because I have wide feet so anytime I find a shoe that fits, I buy multiples.

Janet -- I was think the two-toned jeans would be much more forgiving of saddlebags. I have not yet received them, but I anticipate liking them a lot. If you don't mind dealing with possible returns, I would say try them.

Thanks everyone. I feel better about this shopping spree. I am only human and I really have been so responsible most of this year.

shedev

Veteran

These all look practical to me. Just use PPP to decide what you are keeping and your good.

Anonymous

You may need to decide if a shopping ban will help or hurt you (not everyone does well with the mental part of a ban).

Practically speaking, I would consider if what you've bought will replace or augment what you already have. They do look like basic pieces. So were you short on pants, for example, or unhappy with what you already have so these will work better? If so, move along what wasn't working. If you were desiring something new, maybe consider having yourself wear the new item before buying another new item. And one other idea is to think about what you bring home that doesn't get worn immediately. Is there a reason you don't rip the tag off and want to wear right away?

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I had a moment recently, where I stepped back and looked at what I bought this spring/summer and felt pretty overwhelmed, so I can relate. It does look like a lot of what you've purchased is gear, though, and the rest are pretty practical pieces. As long as you're aware, it'll even out.

Bonnie

Veteran

I have the same shopping "problem" and a few weeks ago I decided to set a $ limit on how much I can spend each month. I'm $101 over already.

Anonymous

BrieN. Two things are going on. First, I refinanced the house so I don't have a mortgage payment this month or next (long story). Second, there is some stress at work. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I don't seem to be dealing with the stress like I normally do. Instead I am eating and shopping.

I do like everything I bought. If I sound less than certain it is because I rarely spend so much money in a single month. In fact, I doubt I have ever spent this much money in a month in my life. I can rationalize every single purchase.

I am most excited about the first three items shown below.

I am least excited about the tunic sweater and the Jen7 pants. I am trying the Jen7 pants because some forum members were really happy with them and I was curious. I bought the sweater to coordinate with a pair of slacks that I love and I want more options to wear them. I want the sweater to be soft and cozy, but I have had a hard time finding soft and cozy.

Eileen Fisher Stretch Crepe Ankle Pants (Regular & Petite) (Online Only)

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AUTHENTIC 1969 two-tone real straight jeans

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Nike Mesh Back Fleece Vest

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Jen7 Stretch Sateen Slim Straight Leg Pants

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Halogen Colorblock Side Slit Tunic Sweater (Regular & Petite)

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Barbara Diane

Veteran

Sounds like a few things going on, as others have mentioned. I don't know your financial or other situations, but, here I go.

If it's the shock of purchasing so much, the question becomes, are they purchases you would have made if they were stretched out over time? Is it just that the timing is shocking you? Are they things you need/will they get wear or just leave other items unworn? Do you need to be purchasing other clothing items instead with the money?

If it's the money, should it have been saved instead? Or used for something else? Would you rather have used the money to have one less month's mortgage?

Are you worried about spending the next month's mortgage savings also?

Are you worried that you have fallen into a shopping pattern and you will continue?

Do you need to find another way to deal with stress that doesn't involve shopping? Or eating? If so, there are many choices. Or even have a fun money budget, and decide how you want to spend it. For eating, if it's a problem, I'm considering going back to tracking my food. I went unconscious for 5 -8 minutes yesterday and ate enough to hinder my goals.

I went a while without shopping when I was losing weight. I stopped when I had enough to make enough outfits for that fall, as I expected the fall clothes to only fit for that year, and I was going to be really short on spring/summer clothing. At first not shopping was making me anxious, as I realized how often I used it to get out of the house and get my mind off things, but later I found it freeing.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Hey, I wrote a lot, and maybe it's just the spending it all at once. Sorry if I went to far.

LaPed

Veteran

I almost always do big shops these days, in a quick flurry of activity. I find that doing it all in one fell swoop leads to a more cohesive wardrobe. If I try to spread things out, I get more of a magpie effect -- more variety, but potentially more challenging for everyday outfit creation.

I actually love shopping fasts, too -- gives me a chance to really enjoy and play with my newest acquisitions, instead of forever moving off in search of the next big thing.

When I was younger and on a tighter budget, I definitely spread out my shopping more, out of necessity, and for a long time I was prone to buying whatever color/cut/etc was on the deepest discount, regardless of whether I liked it or not. Moving away from that mindset has sometimes been challenging for me, so I understand your hesitation! It can feel like binging at first. To me, your purchases look like an efficient, practical use of time & budget.

Anonymous

Also, maybe this is rationalizing, but it looks like several items are ones you want to try. The kind of thing where if you could find them in a store, you'd make a decision after trying on. Since you can't always do that, the purchase is an opportunity for a try on. It's not necessarily a kept purchase until you make a later decision.

Joyce B

Veteran

I was going to return my Vionic today but I tried them on again and wore them for a little while at home and they are comfortable, maybe my feet are a bit less swollen now that the temps are dropping a little. The shoes seem to be keepers now, thanks to your comment that made me try them again

Keix

Veteran

What is your typical return rate for online purchases? I am a stress shopper through and through. I do spend more in stressful months, but it's because I tend to buy pricier items; I also return a LOT from those months' purchases, and mostly due to fit/the item not being how I imagined, not because of guilt or budget. Stress makes me more likely to buy something I like and less likely to think about its potential downsides before I click the final button. But two weeks later when the item finally arrives, I'm in a much better state to evaluate the purchase.

Anonymous

La Pedestrienne -- maybe I am starting a new shopping method? I love the idea of doing one really big seasonal shop and then stopping. I see how that can really result in a cohesive wardrobe. This is one of the first times in my life that it was possible for me financially.

Joyce -- we'll be shoe twins!!!

KL -- I have never calculated my return rate, but it on the high side. I think I would terribly embarrassed if I did sit down and calculate it.

Delurked -- Since I shop online, I guess I do view this as my try-on opportunity. Thanks for putting it into prospective for me.

Sal

Veteran

I think you have some great pieces here, I especially like the white Adidas jacket.

I think it is fine to have a spree like this, and sometimes it does help to create a cohesive wardrobe. I guess it is looking at the pieces and thinking about the ones purchased were the ones that you needed.

I have in the last two months purchased
- winter wool coat (HEWI, needed)
- new shorts (needed)
- three new tops, if I am honest, only one really needed and filling the gap.
- boots (yet to arrive, I hope either a total fail or totally gorgeous, not in the middle)

My weakness is summer tops, I have a lot and I find them easy to buy, fit and like. I think yours is dark pants - so this is my only suggestion, did you want four new pairs of dark pants (I know one are jeans)...and the answer may well be yes because they are a high use item.

Anonymous

Kiwigal -- My weakness is dark pants!!!! I can't not look at them on every website and in every store. I probably don't need all of them, but as you say, they are a weakness.

I'll bet your summer tops are gorgeous and will make you very happy.

Beth Ann

Veteran

It's a very positive thing that you're thinking through why you're shopping more at the moment. Living mindfully is always a winning strategy!

Maybe, instead of a shopping ban, you could focus on bringing stress relievers into your life --- spiritual devotions or meditation, walking or yoga, 30 minutes extra sleep, time with friends, etc. I always doing better when I add, rather than take away activities that are pleasurable.

Love the EF pants and the the long tunic! These all seem to quite practical purchases.

Gigi

Veteran

I sometimes do this--just start spending money willy-nilly. I think that it means I am dealing with some emotional thing that hasn't quite made it to the surface (my consciousness), if that makes any sense!

Anyway, what I do afterward is take my time to cut the tags. I give myself a week or two to really check the stuff out (I will try it on every now and then, maybe play in my wardrobe to see how a piece works with other items). Only if everything is checking all of my "happy boxes" will I keep the item. Even if money weren't an issue, I hate having extra stuff; I want a wardrobe that just has stuff that makes my heart sing and does what I need it to do.

A case in point for me was the Cole Haan OTK boots I bought at Nordstrom during NAS. They were beautiful and fit really well, but they weren't making me 100% happy--they were a little too conservative for my style. I kept them for a few weeks and tried them on several times with different items from my wardrobe, but each time, I found that I would really have preferred something a little different. They were too much money for me to allow them in as a placeholder, so I regretfully took them back. If I'd had extra money lying around, I probably would have kept them so as to have another pair of boots to wear (I'm very hard to fit), but such is life.

I find that really staying on task with regard to whether something is really what I want *style-wise* helps me with sorting through my impulse purchases. After trying on the pieces a few times, I am more able to tell what I am truly excited to wear, and I return the rest.

Cole Haan 'Marina' Over the Knee Boot (Women)

$500.00 $299.98

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