It's official. 42 is too old for a cutoff denim mini. - YouLookFab Forum

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It's official. 42 is too old for a cutoff denim mini.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I have owned a frayed denim miniskirt for many years. It's very short. I only wear it in the summer, with a baggy top and in very casual settings, but I really like it. Or at least, I used to. This summer something has changed. I can't explain why, but suddenly it doesn't work. It's too short, too frayed, too juvenile. It feels silly. My body hasn't changed, but I just can't do the denim cutoff mini anymore. I still feel perfectly fine in denim cutoff shorts. What's up with that?

Has anyone had this happen? with any item of clothing?

ETA: I should clarify. 42 is too old for me. If you're older than that and can still rock the denim mini, then rock on.

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from Caro in Oz

Mona

Veteran

This is an interesting realization. Sometimes our tastes and preferences change from one season to the next. I would say hold on to it and see if next year, the love comes back.

viva

Veteran

I make this decision about a bikini at the beginning of every summer, and then by the time I get to the beach I have decided what the heck, and I put it back on. One of these years I really will be too old, but not yet.

Usually I am pretty decisive, but for some reason, the bathing suit thing baffles me every time. Since you still love cutoff shorts, maybe you should hold onto the skirt for one more year, just in case.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Mona, Viva -- I haven't pitched it out yet! It's in the back-of-closet holding zone. I figure my daughter might wear it one day, even if I don't.

celia

Veteran

I understand the feeling although I don't remember any particular item in my case.
The funny thing is that instead of being daunted by it I find it liberating the way you feel that something is 'not for you' anymore.

kkards

Veteran

around the same age, i decided that shorts shorter than knee lenght or so, were to young for me, around the time i turned 49 i decided that i could wear whatever i wanted, and i did.
your thought and needs will ebb and flow overtime. i second Mona's and Viva's suggestion that you hang on to the skirt one more year.

MsMary

Veteran

Yes! I am still wearing short shorts and (fairly) short skirts, but a couple of years ago I realized that woven blouses with puffy sleeves made me feel horribly, horribly uncomfortable in a mutton-dressed-as-lamb kind of way. It's so funny... it's nothing I decided, really. I just can't do it any more.

Thistle

Veteran

Wear what makes you happy and what feels comfortable to you. If the mini skirt doesn't make you feel fab, regardless of the reason, I say bye bye!!

Anonymous

Just this spring, I came to the conclusion that all of my short skirts were suddenly inappropriate. For years , because I have/had relatively toned, long legs (and usually tanned) I wore skirts above my knee ALL THE TIME. Not tight pencils, but I loved the pairing of a floaty silk or rayon blend skirt with a jacket and tank. My uniform. This year - it was suddenly all wrong. Gave them all away and have not replaced them with anything yet. Just not the look I want anymore, and I think my age kicked in (53) and exposed knees, etc didnt' look classy and sophisticated. I still wear short shorts - but the skirts are done.

At 42, your thoughts are clearly different - and that's what makes it interesting - to see how different ages react to different looks.

Gracie

Veteran

Like lisap, some of my shorter skirts started feeling inappropriate, even though I think I still have "good" legs to wear them. I'd try one of the mini-skirts and feel somehow indecent. For me the change was that I really started to enjoy looking more grown up – put-together and with fun touches without relying on showing a lot of skin. But I do wear two-piece bathing suits.

Gaylene

Veteran

Oh, yes, I know that feeling. To my mind, that instinctive reaction is a much better indicator of whether something is age appropriate for you than any arbitrary set of rules. I also think that others' reaction "Oh, you look great in ____; of course, you can still wear ____" just tends to confuse the issue by making me doubt my own instincts.

For what it's worth, I've never returned to a look once I've said goodbye. My short sports skirts got purged a couple of years ago, as did my graphic T-shirts. As Angie would say: Onward!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yeah...I had a similar realization to Mary's about puff sleeves, floaty butterfly sleeves, frilly details, etc.

Now, is this age related or is it just me recognizing (at long last) that these NEVER WERE my style? I'm not sure.

On the other end of the scale -- hard edge. I never really wore it much. But now it just feels completely wrong.

I don't really wear minis any more...but I never did wear anything more than a couple of inches above the knee. I will wear shorter shorts, though I have to do a bit of self-persuasion every year about this.

Jules

Veteran

For me I think sometimes it's a cumulation of seeing many people wearing something - or not wearing it. Eventually it sinks in for me that the other people I see wearing this and looking good are much younger than me. And that people my age and up whose style I admire are wearing different things. I don't think it's always a concious process and analysis, more a crystallization of accumulated data.

Anonymous

I hear you Aziraphale. Sometimes you just know. I have abandoned wearing shorts, but I frequently see much older ladies wearing them (mid-thigh and in a sporty way) and I think they look just fine. I think I'm at a strange age (48) where I don't want to appear to be chasing my youth, but maybe later, when it's obvious that I'm not, I'll give them another go. This is Phoenix, after all, and people pretty much let it all hang out.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Curious to know if it is the combination of length, fabric and distressing which has made the skirt a no go or if one factor proved difinitive?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Celia, I like what you say about it being liberating! Nice way of looking at it.

kkards, I think I understand what you're saying. But I don't feel constrained by my age, exactly. I still wear whatever I want. But I suddenly DON'T want to wear this girlish skirt. I no longer feel girlish, I guess!

Gracie, I know what you mean. I still have good legs too, but for a while now, short skirts have felt somewhat...unsophisticated, I guess. Not in line with where my head is at. I can wear short shorts with bare legs and feel good. And I still wear minis in the winter, with tights and flat boots, and it feels acceptable. It's this denim mini in particular that is the problem -- it's just too casual in a juvenile way. I'm all for casual, but it has to be "grown up casual".

Mary, I so know what you mean about MDAL. It feels like such an unkind expression, but it's real! No one want to look and feel like she's trying too hard to be younger. And that's the problem with this skirt. I can see how puffy sleeves would have the same problem.

Thistle, I think you're right. Bye bye. Will hold onto it in case Aziraphale Junior wants it in a couple of years.

LisaP, I agree that floaty short skirts also skew very young. I wouldn't wear one either. It's true that I'm younger than you, and I'm pretty youthful for my age -- it's not that I feel old. But I nevertheless AM a middle-aged woman. And being so tiny has always influenced how I dress -- I've never wanted to emphasize a girlishness, even when I was a girl. I used to prefer boy clothes (I was not a skirt-wearer until my thirties) for exactly that reason. Now I'm down with skirts as well as pants, as long as the skirts make me feel like a grown-up woman.

Gaylene, that's interesting to hear that you've never gone back. I wonder if I will. I somehow doubt it.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Suz, regarding hard edge being too much after a certain age -- I think you're right. Unless you are a rock star, really hard edge looks can be just as bad as overly frilly, girlish ones.

Good point, Jules. "Crystallization of accumulated data" is a good way of putting it.

Claire -- interesting idea -- giving something another try years later, once it's very clear that you're not "chasing your youth"! I do see older ladies wearing short tennis skirts sometimes, and they look adorable. I think that's it: there comes a point where it no longer looks like you're trying to escape back to the past. It looks like you're just living your life in the clothes you want to wear.

RoseandJoan, it's the combination of short, frayed, and denim. Short on its own is OK, because I'm comfortable wearing short shorts with bare legs (although not as short as the 20 year olds are wearing, with their butt cheeks hanging out!), as well as short canvas skirts without distressing and with tall flat boots.

rachylou

Veteran

Lol. Yes. Every year since my 32nd, the year of my giant I-can't-take-it-anymore freakout, when a high school boy asked me out, I have been working away at trying to get people to call me M'am.

I had a particularly hard time with puff sleeves and bows. I just loved them. Now I'm done. Totally done.

I hope.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I wonder if they fraying is the final straw. Mo is around the same age and wears denim miniskirts, for example, and I can see a basic denim mini styled in a casual/sporty way working for someone in their 40s, but the fraying sounds like a detail that pushes it out of a sophistication level that you now seek. I've encountered this kind of thing too (Mary's epiphany about ruffly sleeves and the like rang true for me).

I say pass it along. It sounds like you're done with it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I was just about to say what Janet said. It sounds like the fraying on this might be the deal breaker. Frayed skirts just read "juniors" whereas a short skirt can read "sporty" or simply "practical on hot day." Especially if it is de-bombshelled with flat sandals and a drapey tee or similar.

Anonymous

I understand. I'd given up above the knee skirts although my legs look pretty good, but this summer suddenly loved flared skirts looked too juvenile. As part of a dress I'm still ok with them but not a skirt.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

You perfectly described how I decide whether any item of clothing is right or wrong for me I think Gaylene's point about others reactions is a good one too.