I do my thing, and he does his - with clothes I buy for him He rebels every so often and claims he can buy his own clothes thanksverymuch, but then never does. He's in a uniform for work, so his personal-time wardrobe is jeans, khakis, finewale cords, graphic t's, knit pullovers, and button downs with cotton blazers. He lives in Blundstones in the winter and Birkenstocks for the rest of the year (and has been known to wear them well into fall and early winter with socks too ). I have a rule about cargo shorts, which thankfully he agrees with (I threaten to burn any I see anywhere near me) and I only occasionally have to suggest he retires things that are past their prime (Tommy Bahama shirts, etc) . He is fairly trim , fit, and good -looking with blue eyes and wears clothes and colour really well. Gee, you'd think I actually like my husband !

I often notice this when I people watch, too. DH and I, however, could not be more different. He lives in jeans and t-shirts, with the occasional plaid shirt thrown in for good measure. He has ALWAYS dressed that way and is very resistant to change. But when I met him, his job required him to wear black pants, a white shirt and a tie, so I was misled!

I've always been partial to dresses and dressier clothes in general, with the exception of shoes. So when we met I commonly wore flouncy dresses (albeit mostly black ones) and stompy boots. I've had to amend that a bit as I've gotten older, simply because that style doesn't translate as well with age, IMO, but I still favour it. I doubt any passer-bys would assume we were together based on dress alone.

Ms. Mary -- I SWOON!!! Those are delicious pics!!

I would say that I influence his style and that he seems to like sometimes to echo colors in my outfits. Not too much so or I';d be over it,lol. He is very conservative and doesn't love my boho love of long skirts but has come to tolerate my kimonos over time. I think when I was younger , I dressed more conservative due to his influence but came into my own .

I had to introduce DH to jeans - he was a true geeky dresser with chinos and short sleeve button down shirts all the way. He is extremely aesthetically attuned to his surroundings, how the table looks and the food is presented in particular, but does not really turn that eye in on himself. I cannot fathom it!

We both do our own thing, but he keeps me more classic and away from boho or anything too out there. I wish that I could find jeans to fit him. Pants are hard to find for older men. I see too many give up and just wear shorts or jogging pants with shirts worn out.

MsMary I love your pictures! What a way to express your marvelous relationship through clothes!

Lisap - Birkenstocks with socks...oh dear! The only ones I know who do that are the Franciscan friars. But they are careful to use socks that almost match the color of their Birkenstocks...low color contrast, haha.

The interesting thing to me is whether or not dressing alike, or to complement, enhances togetherness. How important is a united front?

I have an aunt and uncle who pretty much wear the same thing. Everything about them is lovely, and they are so united in purpose.

On the other hand - my cousin had this girlfriend, and her sister... well, the sister and her husband wore these matching t-shirts with their last name on them. They didn't seem so much united in purpose as living under martial law. They had no children yet. If they'd had children, I think I would have felt differently.

In any case, I'm a fashion tyrant. Everybody stays out of my way when it comes to style, lol. They all learn to sit back and be entertained. Including my parish priest. Hahaha!

Woah, MsMary FTW! Calendar couple of the month, all 12 months!

Mr Max always looks nice, something of a conservative uniform dresser. He used to make his own dress shirts, because custom ones weren't quite what he wanted. My only influence on his style has been the slow invasion of flat-front trousers over his former fallback pleated & cuffed ones.

I'm not aware of any impact he's made on my style. Outside, I usually look like DonnaF described her husband's homewear, but without the stains, and not as many sweatshirts. I do my best to make up for that at home with appealing loungewear.

On most days, we probably don't present like a couple. I've opted out of fulfilling most of the standard social and emotional labor expectations outside parties generally have of female partners. So, perhaps not looking the part is consistent with that aspect of our relationship. To Rachylou's question, maybe guerrilla unity is sometimes a viable alternative.

This is a cute topic. I think my husband and I have started to mirror one another's style more in the past couple of years. He was very casual earlier in our relationship, but now that he's had to wear a suit to work for several years, he is a lot more comfortable staying a bit dressed for non-working time and he's more interested in style overall. He seems to really like a lot of classic styles and colors, lots of light blues and greens, white, gray, and tan. And I'm pretty much a 24/7 "smart casual" kind of person. We are also both somewhat tall, thin, and fair, so I think overall the effect is that we tend to look coordinated.

Every one in awhile I'll have a weekend where I get very into a blog like "The Daily Connoisseur" and watch video after video of "10-item wardrobe" discussions, and he'll be in another room playing "how to" videos about men's fashion. We might both clean out our closets on the same weekend (I think we inspire one another), and sometimes we both come home from the mall not knowing the other was just there too. I smile when these things happen; it's fun to be in a similar sartorial mindset with him.

Last, my town doesn't have a lot of shopping options. A lot of the big chains have closed, about the best we have is Banana Republic Factory Store. So the fact that we both might shop at the same place probably further unites our look. That said, we both do online shopping and prefer variety. He also sometimes gets really nice suits, and their hefty price tag sort of helps me justify spending more on my own clothes too. I definitely appreciate his quality over quantity approach.

We've got a similar taste when it comes to deciding what looks good and what doesn't. However, we have a very different idea of what is the most comfortable everyday style of dress and how formal/casual we like to dress in day to day life.
He feels very comfortable in fashion sneakers, sporty looking trousers, a basic T-shirt, a hoodie and a shell jacket. He can and does dress very nicely, when the occasion calls for it. He actually has a very good taste for nice clothes, feels good in them and wears them well. It's just that his idea of when the occassion calls for less ultra casual clothing is different to mine.

I wear such clothes for sport activities and straight before/after them, or during a sport-oriented holidays (skiing trip for example), but I feel best in less casual clothing. My idea of casual doesn't look sporty. At all.

For example, my everyday casual includes jeans, but I feel better in trousers that aren't jeans. I like pullovers, but feel better in a jacket. A parka is practical, but a coat looks nicer and makes me feel better.

It's not unusual to see us together on a stroll or in a cafe, while he's wearing a shell jacket and sporty trousers, or a T-shirt and flip-flops, and I'm wearing a winter coat or a trenchcoat and leather boots, or a skirt and a nice top.
However, we often unintentionally colour coordinate. I don't know how that happens, but it's a frequent occurence.
Which means that when we dress in the same degree of casual, we look like a very well coordinated pair.

P.S.: I see I haven't answered your original question. Does my partner influence how I dress? Absolutely. He has good taste, so when he compliments my outfits, I trust his opinion. When I'm unsure about an item, I ask him for advice. When he recommends a piece of clothing in a style that's new to me or that I haven't noticed, I try it on. When he's critical of my style choices, I take a second look and consider them one more time. He's also very complimentary and encouraging towards polished and elegant clothing, which is in line with my own taste.

"The interesting thing to me is whether or not dressing alike, or to complement, enhances togetherness. How important is a united front?"

RachyLou, great observation. I think our external appearance can reinforce to ourselves and to others what we feel on the inside, but certainly can't be the source of it. The most important ingredient is always true love!

I'm always deeply impressed by people who know when to lean when others need to lean on them. My Mom used to dress in tacky sweaters with animals and flowers on them, and when I -modern teenager-criticized her for it, she replied, "My younger children love these sweaters on me. I do it for them." A lesson never to be forgotten.

I think my husband and I are "typical suburban parents" in our style (yikes - not a great style moniker!). I am more conservative than he is and wear simple styles and neutrals or muted colors a lot; he is more likely to wear bright color or something quirky (he loves to express his inner geek with retro graphic tees, for example - I think this is part-backlash against his serious weekday business-wear, as are his crazy colorful socks). But I also spend a lot more time thinking about what I wear; he basically goes on an occasional buying binge, and then wears whatever he happens to grab. This is all very reflective of our personalities and roles in the family in general, actually ... *ponders deeply* ....

Interesting question! I think my hubby and I compliment each other but definitely do not match. He is an artist and is picky about his clothes, wears untucked button downs most of the time but likes ones that are a little different, a print with some subtle trim maybe (like English Laundry brand). And he cares about his shoes, might have almost as many as I do! I would say we dress in similar levels of casual-ness so not mismatched, and both like to be in style, or at least not out of style We do also have similar tastes in houses and decor.

This is such a fun read. Thank you all for your lovely stories! It's kind of heartwarming all these loving descriptions of partners in -more or less- style
On that note - I just today discovered the blog thatsnotmyage and guess what I've found - a recent article about a lovely Japanese couple that kind of matches its clothes: http://thatsnotmyage.com/lifes.....n-and-pon/
That's quite the art of style influence

My husband doesn't influence my style much, beyond perhaps a slight preference for conventional flattery.
He has little interest in his own clothes apart from making sure he has enough multiples. He wears baggy jeans (shorts if really hot) and tees every day, with a hoody if warmth is needed, and a pleather jacket if it is even colder. He is balding, so likes beanies in the winter. Shops at Kmart or Rivers.
He did buy a new suit last year, just for weddings and funerals, and a nice more fitted shirt which I like, so he wears for dates with me! I prefer him in less baggy, long sleeve tees too.

So enjoying all these posts! Thank you everyone!
torontogirl- that's hilarious! It's amazing how much we express in our clothes.
joha- love the link! That Japanese couple is adorably coordinated, she in her feminine way and he in his masculine way. They have their favorite colors down pat!
anne- try matching beanies?? I always love it when couples wear matching hats, haha.

tinfl- I go for the quality over quantity, too! I imagine it's helpful when a couple share an important spending criterion like that.
Tisa- sounds awesome having your own in-house style critic!