Is wearing a hairstick frumpish? - YouLookFab Forum

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Is wearing a hairstick frumpish?

Astrid

Veteran

I had my hair up for uni yesterday - I wore a hairstick and it looked just like on the pictures below. I use hairsticks all the time at home, because they are more gentle to the hair than elastics and much more practical. And they're comfortable, you don't notice them after a time and my hair stays were it should without me having to redo everything!

Well, my hair bothered me yesterday so I wore it up and away from my face. I didn't think much about it. But then I got comments all through the day, many not so nice. And I got tired of the librarian jokes after the fifth time it happened. I study Library and Information Science, so it was an obvious cliché, but still NOT funny. And that were not my friends teasing me, that were people I haven't talked more than three sentences with in my whole life!

Do you think wearing a hairstick is frumpish?

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29 replies

Latest reply was from Jonesy

Maya

Veteran

I think it might depend on the hair stick itself and how it is worn. I have a very funky one I got in france with lots of colorful charms, and two matching ones that I got from a former friend who had them hand carved for me in Armenia. Part of the reason I'm growing my hair out is so I can start wearing them again.

I liked to leave a few little tufts of hair out, for a more fun/messy look. You can kind of see it here (my hair is only half up, and I am obviously not the one looking through the bread...):

http://img.photobucket.com/alb.....dDC_ph.jpg

You can see the stick sligtly more clearly here:

http://img.photobucket.com/alb.....G_2308.jpg

Regardless, I don't think your hair looks frumpy at all and the comments were just rude.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks, Maya! I didn't even think I could look frumpy until I heard some of the comments. So, just another case of people being rude that I have to ignore...

I really like your stick from what I can see in the second picture, it looks like a fun item. How long is your hair now? I've gone from a pixie in 2008 to just above shoulder length now.

tarzy

Veteran

Did these people actually use the term "frumpy?"

(Your hair is gorgeous, by the way.)

Astrid

Veteran

Tarzy, terms like "altbacken" or "altmodisch" were said. The term frumpy is that what my dictionary told me was the correct translation for these terms. And I can only be glad that I didn't wore one of my cardigans with it. Because hairstick, glasses, skirt, cardigan and so on means obviously "uptight" librarian! I really cannot understand how people can be so rude.

Thanks for the hair compliment! I really love my hair and I was always proud of it, even if many other people didn't like it.

Edit: I like your curls, too!

bella

(website)

Veteran

I like your hairsticks but people might have a different view of things in Germany.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks, Bella. I just was surprised about the extreme reactions in my peer group. And I live in Berlin, so there are many different styles around and many of my fellow students wear things I would never consider wearing. But that's okay and nobody comments on things out of norm normally. That's why I was so stumped.

Isabel

Veteran

Oh my, I love the hairstick. You are wearing it "loosely" enough that it is really wonderful, in my eyes. I think if your hair was slicked back and severe, that I might not like it as much.....oh how weird the reactions are. I am utterly stumped too or should I say "verklempt". ( did I even spell that correctly ? )

Astrid

Veteran

Thank you, Isabel! I don't have to do anything about my hair to wear it this loose, because of the curls it always looks this way. I think I would have to try much harder to do the severe updo you mention. I'm beginning to think I enjoy being "verklemmt" when I look at the weird people out there. Better being uptight than having no manners!

Isabel

Veteran

Astrid, I so agree with you. I just don't understand what people actually expect after a comment like that. How is it useful or constructive in any way ? I think they are just unhappy people in general. I am sorry that you had to experience that and that it caused self-doubt.

It reminds me of when men whistle at women on the street or say something dirty to them ( that hasn't happened to me in decades, BTW ) but I wonder what they think the woman is going to do......chase then down and ask for a date ?

taylor

Veteran

I love it!

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks, Taylor!

I think that you're right, Isabel, that they are unhappy people in general. Your example with the men whistling or talking down is so correct!

I'm normally not one to have self-doubts so easily, but with so many comments in a few hours it got me thinking regardless. And I didn't see my friends yesterday, who would have put it into perspective again. They are wonderful that way.

Isabel

Veteran

It is easy to have self-doubt when comments like that are clustered. It would certainly affect me. I am glad that this forum was able to take the place of your friends when they weren't around !!!

Marley

Veteran

I think that like any accessory - the frumpiness factor is determined by the overall style of the outfit. I really cannot say by looking at your pic if it is frumpy or not because I can't see the rest of your outfit. I've seen hairsticks worn both non-frumpily and frumpily! However, that does not excuse people from making rude comments to someone about it!
Regardless of what those insensitive people said, if I were you I would pull more strands of my hair our of the "bun" - give it a more relaxed look!

Christie

I love hair sticks!

judy

Veteran

Astrid, you have beautiful thick hair! And is that your real color? I'm jealous :).

I love what you've done with it. Sometimes pulling the bun up higher or doing a french twist and a longer chopstick can be fun. Here's a video I just found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related

Here's also a blog post by Cup of Jo about getting the perfect messy French bun: http://experienceparisienne.co.....messy-bun/
No hair sticks, but lots of bobby pins.

Louise

Veteran

I think the pictures you posted look great. I guess it depends on the overall styling. I think cardi and pearls would be fine as long as you add a pencil skirt and heels to make it sexy secretary or dress and biker jacket for a bit of contradiction x

Astrid

Veteran

Thank you all!

Marley, you can see in the first picture below what I wore with it. Nothing special, but I didn't think I looked frumpy nonetheless. Additionally I wore a scarf with it hat isn't in the picture. But you are right that it depends on the rest of the outfit!

Judy, that's my real color, yes! I didn't like it for a long time and thought it was boring. I always wanted to have more contrast, like my sister. She has natural red hair and really blue eyes. I dyed it different colors but it never looked that good on me. I had a pixie two and a half years ago and when I decided to let my hair grow again, I decided to give my natural hair color another chance. And I really like it now because it is just right with my complexion. I tried the thing in the first video just now, but I think my hair is not long enough, or I do it wrong. The messy bun was really simple, not a problem to do. I didn't use bobby pins but my two scroos and three hairpins. Much more effective. You can see it in the second and third picture below. I'm still in my pajamas, so please excuse the look of the rest of me.

Louise, I don't own a pair of heels because I just can't walk in them, but I love the combination dress and biker jacket! Not that I own a biker jacket either, but that's definitely on the wishlist.

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Queen Mum

Veteran

I don't think it's the hairstick as much as the bun giving it the "librarian vibe"
Certainly, nobody needed to be rude and insensitive to you about it, but I want to be honest and say that yes, your hair tied up in the bun like that does seem a bit mature. I would rework it to give it a more relaxed "edgy" vibe.

Astrid

Veteran

Honesty is always good! Do you think it looks better in the second pictures? I just don't know how you would rework a bun if doing it more messy isn't the way. I get that it might look a bit too mature on me, but many of the girls I see in the street wear their hair up in a bun. But they do it mostly with elastics, so I thought it was the hairstick making it questionable.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Astrid..
Yes, I do think the second set of pictures is less "frumpy" I didn't see those when I posted my first response. I think perhaps it *is* the hairstick that is the offender
have you tried doing a messy "twist" instead of a bun? I cant' seem to find a picture of what I'm envisioning so I must be calling it the wrong thing.

Mellllls

Veteran

honestly i don't love the look, why are you pulling your hair back? i wonder if there is a more sophisticated way for you to pull your hair back. however, in no way does this excuse the words people used. i wonder if the culture is just different in germany?

Kristine

Veteran

I think hair sticks are beautiful, but it depends on the overall outfit. How about adding a little edge on the days you wear hairsticks, a studded belt or load of pearls, maybe some bright earrings? Or could you try a v-neck or shorter/tighter skirt to (modestly) show your shape a little more? Another idea, if you like wearing your hair back fairly often, is to consider cutting a blunt fringe (bangs).

I don't think you're frumpy but I think there are ways to balance out the bun to keep the look young and modern.

Mellllls

Veteran

i'm realizing that i didn't really answer your question. i don't think it was necessarily the hair stick but the overall tone of the hair style that wasn't to my personal taste. a hair stick can certainly be used in a fun, trendy way!

Astrid

Veteran

Mellllls, on some days my hair just looks off and then I don't want to wear it open. I'm not taking my hair up when it looks loose like I want it to look. But since my hair is wavy and frizzy I have some days when it just doesn't do what I want it to.
I wouldn't say that these rude people were rude because of cultural distinctions in Germany, or I wouldn't be so stumped about it. I would never behave in such a way and all the people I know better think the same.

Kristine, you are right, I will try to balance it out a bit if I wear one the next time. I don't really wear my hair up very often, I can count the days. I like bangs on other people, but I think it would be a bad idea for my hair. I know what my hair was like when it was short and it had a mind of it's own, very hard to manage.

Mellllls

Veteran

You were translating what they said though. I wonder if the translation is just not as literal as you think it was.

Astrid

Veteran

You mean with the term "frumpy"? I'm relatively sure that it is the correct one. I know that the german terms weren't nice at any rate.

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

I think your translation is spot on...fwiw. I'm sorry you had to hear rude comments...that is not very nice!

As far as if hair sticks are dated...I will say that I sported the exact same style 10-15 years ago, and given that you are studying to be a librarian, it does play into that "buttoned up" stereotype a touch.

Perhaps adding some braided sections or twists before you put the hair into a bun?

http://www.google.com/images?u.....8;gs_rfai=

(Note, I do not see many hairsticks here, as I only searched for "bun hairstyles" but perhaps they can provide some inspiration.)

judy

Veteran

Love the bun on you Astrid. The other did look complicated...and in japanese too :)!

Agree that adding edgy elements to your outfit...leather, texture...can help when we have softer hair styles.

My son and his fiancee lived in Berlin for a year, from 2008 to 2009, I think it was. They found that most of their close friends ended up being native English speaking, and how humor can be a very challenging thing to relate to in another culture. Perhaps being outspoken about some things that we would not discuss could be the case too, in their comments about your hair? Guess it comes with being in a foreign land, but it sounds like you are taking it well, and hey, it's part of the adventure, right?

Jonesy

Veteran

I think it looks nice. You know, you can't always please others, and sometimes you need to be practical (e.g., when you want your hair out of your face for whatever reason).