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Is there one person who most influenced your style?

gryffin

Veteran

As I was contemplating "style epiphanies," it suddenly occurred to me that there was one person who had greatest impact on how I want to dress. She's gone now. So I don't know how she would dress today, but her style was in many ways timeless. She always wore suits professionally: moss, black, cream with a simple shell underneath. Long jackets with short skirts or pants. No pattern, minimal jewelry, fine but understated leather goods. You might think that this looked stuffy or boring but it didn't. First, she was probably one of the most beautiful but artless womean I've ever known IRL - a slender rectangle with the perfect figure to display this style of clothing. She had gorgeous long blonde hair which she wore straight and smooth or in tousled beachy waves. She always wore interesting shoes - kitten heels or gorgeous boots or booties and her clothes always fit beautifully. Her clothes were modest but the short skirts and long hair were always feminine and made a great counterpoint to her understated attire. She embodied the elegance of simplicity. The power of understatement. The impact of modest and appropriate when combined with a touch of the unexpected. It's more than 10 years since she's been gone, but when I don't know how to dress for an event, I always try and imagine what she might have worn. Is there one person who most influenced your personal style?

General

54 replies

Latest reply was from gryffin

Adelfa

Veteran

Yes, though until this moment I wouldn't have identified her as such. I met her 35 years ago in college and have seen her from time to time since (great distance). She was a tall, small boned, very thin rectangle. She had spent a year in France and I always assumed this had honed her style, though I didn't know her before.

I have almost always seen her in casual clothing. I guess she epitomized "smart casual" before there was such a thing. She knew how to add pretty touches, elegant touches, and how to pull together an outfit. Always gorgeous, feminine, elegant shoes. Hair always perfectly styled whether is was waist length or Angie length.

I think I wished I looked like her, but never thought I could, because our body types and face shapes were so different.

I think one thing she did was to make every item in an outfit pay its way. Though her clothes were simple, nothing was plain or boring. A pair of earrings (small scale because of her delicate face and neck) wouldn't be just basic studs or hoops. They would be tiny works of art.

I guess I don't actually remember her clothes much. I remember her accessories--shoes, necklaces, earrings, scarves (back when nobody wore them). The sense that she was trying (but not too hard) to present herself as lovely and feminine, back in an era when we truly were throwing on any old thing, and the whole idea of femininity was deeply suspect.

I'm not sure how much I've learned from her. But I'll be thinking about this, thank you

Aziraphale

Veteran

What a lovely tribute.

I can't say I have a similar figure in my life. Three people have influenced my style the most: my husband, my best friend, and my husband's mother. None of them share my exact style (my husband is perhaps the closest) but they all dress in a way that expresses who they are. I notice and respect that.

Catnip

Veteran

I think it would have to be Jacqueline Kennedy. She was the style icon of her time, more so than anyone I can think of today. Women of my age adored her, both for her looks and her behavior. Of course anyone who dressed like her today would look very out of date.

The things I learned from her were the importance of perfect fit and high quality. And minimalism. It's difficult to think of someone who wore pink, aqua and yellow as being a minimalist, but I think she was. She never wore anything extra, just the bare minimum in beautiful, quality accessories. Nothing jangled or screamed "look at me." Her clothes were always prefect for her body and her life.

gryffin

Veteran

Adelfa - It was the same experience for me. I did not realize the true magnitude of the impact of my friend's style until I read Shedev's response. All of a sudden it was clear, it was not so much the time period or style of clothing but one person who had been profoundly influencial. I am struck by your lines,
"I think one thing she did was to make every item in an outfit pay its way. Though her clothes were simple, nothing was plain or boring. A pair of earrings (small scale because of her delicate face and neck) wouldn't be just basic studs or hoops. They would be tiny works of art. " The simplicity but the restraint and selection of those elements is staggering. Talk about "curated." I think I'm in the same place - interested to see where these thoughts and memories take my style. But your descripton really resonates with me. I have to think about this. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
Aziraphale - how wonderful that your husband and MIL have a style and taste which inspires to you. What better style could anyone have than one that truly expresses who they are? If's marvelous if their insights help you better express the "you" in your dress. Also it's great you BFF's style inspires you. My BFF is a wonderful person but our styles are so dissimilar we only shop for make up together. It would be fun if we had more common ground!!

Mellllls

Veteran

I think I've taken influence from a lot of places, here for one. I also have those that influence me in different places in life. For instance I take inspiration from female executives at work both stylistically and of course professionally.

gryffin

Veteran

Catnip - I cannot think of a better influence. Jacqueline Kennedy was the epitome of ladylike, appropriate, understated elegance. Simple, refined, polished, modest, lovely, graceful and feminine - those qualities transcend any time. I agree an exact riff would be seen as dated but the essential elements of her outfits (okay minus the gloves and pillbox hats) would translate effortlessly with many modern pieces. I admire her style very much too!!

MuseumGal

Veteran

I think part of the reason I'm having so much difficulty articulating my own style is because I've never seen or met anyone whose style I would like to emulate. That said is there is one woman who has recently who had a huge impact on me:

One day I stumbled across a blog of woman who had recently moved to OK, following her partner’s academic position. She had a penchant for Hermes. She posted a picture of herself at a café I frequented wearing a DVF silk wrap dress and carrying an Hermes clutch. She worked from home on a farm less than 5 miles from our little house on the prairie and wore her Anne Fontaine shirts and Church’s shoes, and an Hermes silk scarf every single day. I looked at myself in my jeans and one of those godawful overprinted Tshirts that everyone was wearing, and thought about all my efforts to blend in and be "appropriate" and thought, “Eff this. Really, seriously, and truly. Eff it. I'm going to wear what makes me happy." Hence my quest to discover what makes me happy, sartorially speaking.

gryffin

Veteran

Melllls - You sound like a very good observer. I tend to mentally gloss over looks that don't call to me and then find myself transfixed when they do. It seems like you are much more in tune and open to your surroundings. That's a great quality!

LACeleste

Veteran

You may laugh......

but Ginger on Gilligan's Island. I saw a lot of reruns when I was a kid and was very taken with her.

There is a reason I have an outstanding party capsule and jewelry collection!

gryffin

Veteran

Museumgal - what a totally liberating moment. That sounds like the ultimate style epiphany to me!! When you stop being, or trying to be, something you are not. I think we've all had those moments when we decide to blend in. When we squash down our own individuality to blend in with the homogenized masses. But it's never comfortable because it's not authentic. Did you ever see the movie "Mulan?" She's got a great song in there, sounds like it would be a great theme for so many of us, "When will my reflection show who I am inside." I think it's great you've finally thrown off those "mind forged manacles" and are just trying to be you!!

gryffin

Veteran

LACeleste - trust me, we are not laughing!! For a lot of us, Ginger was the epitome of glamour. For those of us who were a bit young to relate to Marilyn Monroe and the movie stars of that era, Ginger was a beacon of beauty, seductiveness and charm. I can see how her magic would have been captivating to you!! Plus, I do bet you have an amazing party capsule!!

LACeleste

Veteran

Oh Gryffin! You are so nice and so much fun! The thing is......95% of the time in my current life, asking "what would Ginger wear?" does not solve my fashion dilemmas! YLF to the rescue!

When I was teased for being tall and having "orange" hair (auburn actually but kids are rough), I thought of Ginger and felt better!

Helena

Veteran

Not original of course, but Audrey Hepburn for me - since I was a kid, every time I saw her, I thought that was the epitome of beauty. And then I read an article about how in the 50s Hollywood was all about blondes and curves and tans and she was skinny and dark-haired and pale, and that rather than trying to change it, she just embraced it, played it up even - which gave me great confidence in my own non-Barbiesque appearance!

And her clothes - pristine and so simple. And a lovely gracious person by all accounts too. Perfection in my eyes.

gryffin

Veteran

LACeleste - hum, I see the dilemma. Ginger would have amped up the sex appeal a bit more than you might want in professional situations....however, I think, had we seen her off the island..welll ladylike but feminine suits, like Dior's new look, DVF wrap dresses, peplums, color, simple waist defining shapes that showed off her stunning figure and, of course, a fantastic hair cut and lipstick!! Thoughts? I think if you extrapolate you can run with this (also I am seeking geek chic glasses!). Wow, tall and auburn (and yes, kids can be awful but in truth some adults are no better!!) gorgeous but guaranteed to get comments. So glad you had a role model to mentally turn to until you could really appreciate how blessed you were by mother nature!!

gryffin

Veteran

Torontogirl - I think Audrey Hepburn is the epitome of elegance, grace and poise for so many of us. Gosh, do you remember the scene where she arrives home from Paris in "Sabrina" with her suit, turban and little dog, david?! Was there ever anyone so lovely. But you're right her beauty was her simply a maifest of her wonderful personality. What a glorious role model!!

PamelaK

I have two. When I was young, my family lived in a small town in rural Michigan where few had televisions, and watching was a social event. One such evening, I was racing around the house with the other kids and suddenly there she was on the television. I was transfixed by her voice, her relaxed command of the stage and, above all, her clothes. She had short tousled dark hair, a crisp white shirt, black cigarette pants and black flat shoes. What a revelation to a small girl who thought she had to grow up and wear printed house dresses with aprons. I found out years later that was Judy Garland.

The second person was my mother. In the late 60s, my family moved to Chicago. And, boy howdy, things changed. We got animal print wallpaper in the den and my mother brought home a silver paper maxi dress. I could not wait to grow up to have my own! I started paying attention to her style then. She still always looks great, still experiments with style and yet always manages to look polished Even at 79 years.

shiny

Veteran

Are we allowed to say Angie? That would be my pick!

Otherwise, I had a lot of fashion role models over the years. My first boss was petite like me, a handy seamstress too, and taught me a lot of things about fit and fabrication and what to look for, can it be altered, what to pass up. She stressed investing in well fitted, well made timeless classics for core pieces, with a zip of trendiness added in. It was with her mentoring that I first realized that shopping in petite departments made a dramatic difference. She also influenced me to invest in higher quality and strive to do less with more. "Yes, it's worth spending more than $100 on those pumps -- real leather is worth it." I wore those first real leather pumps for years and years, in fact! She taught me the whole concept of cost-per-wear and that has stuck with me ever since. We're still friends all these years later and when she comes to visit J Crew is our first stop, since she loves that place. She was a mentor to me in more ways than just fashion; one could not have asked for a better first boss, and friend. She may be lurking here -- hi Becci!

My mother, sister and BFF are also fashion role models as well. The thing about all four of these women is that they are built entirely the opposite of me: pretty pears, not inverted triangles/apple shapes. So there was a lot of envy and self-defeating negative thoughts when an outfit that worked great on them looked just awful on me, and to this day I still struggle with deeply ingrained thoughts about how I "should" have a smaller waist, more delicate shoulders, and curvy hips.

Then there was WNTW, and Angie, and I started realizing WHY pretty pair outfits do not work on me, and discovering what does. And then of course this forum -- seeing real women and all the variety of shapes and sizes we come in, really helps.

MsMaven

Veteran

Both Audrey and Jackie influenced me in my younger days. I'd have to say they imprinted on me--a classy, ladylike and true to themselves while adapting (but not accepting) different styles over time.

There have also been women who influenced me along the way--I have to give credit to a certain auburn-haired classmate at UCLA. I never met her or knew her name, but I saw her often on campus. Again, she was classy and she radiated confidence. At a time when a lot of us were trying out strange and goofy styles, she always seemed true to herself and she always looked good.

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. Maybe Queen Elizabeth II. The little purse, the weighted hems, a certain flare, but also a certain plainness and salt-of-the-earth quality. After her, Michael Kaplan, the costume designer for Blade Runner. His costumes for Rachael Rosen defined sharp for me.

Anonymous

Firstly, I would say my mum. Not that she influences the real style of my clothes, more quality and cut. She has sewn all her life and first worked for a high class store in the sewing rooms and also later working for herself. I learned to sew at her knee and she taught me about quality fabrics and tailoring. I now find myself with a love of beautifully made clothes and of gorgeous fabrics and designers like Chanel. Another minor defining moment was having a friend who always had a real 'bob' on herself and thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. For a while there I was taken in by her and swayed by her clothing and hair suggestions. Then I eventually found the bottle to end the friendship and be 'me'. Shortly afterwards I found YLF, and now Angie and all you guys are great inspiration.

gryffin

Veteran

Pamela - that must have been incredible in that setting seeing JG for the first time. It must have been like being in a narrow corridor and suddenly you find there is 360 degrees of space and choice surrounding you. Your Mom sounds like an amazingly stylish woman!! What an incredible inspiration to have such an adventuress to look up to!
Shiny - of course Angie can be your pick!! I don't think there has ever been a more inspiring, empowering, gracious and generous teacher!! How wonderful to have such a great friend, boss and mentor like Becci!! I wish we could all have had someone like her in our lives!! That's a really good point about how hard it is to be different than the women we admire. Being a rectangle, even thoough I've always been slim, many waistbands were tight. I always felt fat even when I was very thin. I didn't understand I was simply built differently, that knowledge was empowering. I think that is part of the magic we find here through Angie and YLF - no one else spent the time to explain "why" things worked. Only when we understant the "why," can we figure out the "how" for our individual figures!! Great point, Shiny!!
Ms Maven - Audrey and Jackie were such extraordinary models of grace, simplicity, elegance and refinement. You could not find better inspiration!! Isn't it the truth that there is always someone who seems to find their sartorial way faster than the rest of us. I remember seeing someone in Starbuck's of all places, a young girl, but so elegant in slmple skimming black pants and cropped jacket that it stopped me cold. In a sea of yoga pants and flip flops, she was a beacon of quiet but unaffected elegance.
Rachylou - gosh, the juxtaposition of QEII and blade runner. Wow. But I see both as really powerful images. The Queen takes quite the sartorial beating at times but I agree there is just a rightness and a salt of the earth quality despite the jewels!! I loved Blade Runner - the sharp whoulders and strict tailoring and the images of literrally letting her hair down. It was a very powerful movie visually. I can see where it could have been very influential for you!!
Diane - I was wondering where you got your extraordinarly taste and sewing skills! That must have been amazing to watch your mom craft gorgeous outfits from bolts of cloth. That would be difficult to break away from a friend who's style had such a profound influence. But the important thing is that you've found your own path. You just have the advantage over most of us, since if you can imagine it you can craft it - like you new gorgeous coat!! I can't wait to see what you make next!!

MsMary

Veteran

When I first looked at this thread I couldn't think of anybody. But upon further reflection, I thought of two:

1. Some years ago I worked at our state Court of Appeal as a staff attorney. One day I was in the hallway outside the main courtroom and saw a panel of three appellate justices (very senior and distinguished judges) waiting outside the door to make their entrance. One of them was a woman who was about the age I am now. She was wearing her black robe so all I could see of her style was her tres chic short haircut and her tanned ankles and perfectly pedicured red-toenail-polished feet in high-heeled black patent open-toed backless sandals. I thought then and there that she was about the coolest thing I'd ever seen. The lesson I took from that was "If you are senior enough and badass enough, you can bend the fashion rules and still be fab."

2. Some years later I worked with a woman who had a similar position to me, only more senior. She was married to a surgeon and seemed to have bucketloads of money to spend on Real Jewelry and Very Good Clothes. But the thing I remember most about her is an offhand remark she made one day over lunch: "I'm almost always the most dressed-up person, everywhere I go. And that's okay with me." I took that to heart and now that's my motto, too. And it's served me quite well!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is such a moving thread. gryffin, you win the YLF prize for inspiring deep self-reflection. And what a beautiful tribute to your style mentor. No wonder you remember her fondly.

Like Mary, I found it difficult to identify one person. Perhaps that helps to explain why well into middle age I'm still searching for my style!

But a few people did offer inspiration and example.

1. My "aunt" Martha. This woman was not actually a relative. In fact, she was the building contractor for my suburban childhood home who became a friend of the family. She used to babysit me occasionally when my mother had an appointment. This meant that I would go round with her to new building sites and "help" her by carrying electrical wires, tool boxes, plumbing gadgets -- whatever else might be needed on the site. Originally from Austria, she spoke pretty good Italian as well as English (most of the workers were Italian), and despite being all of 4'10" in her sensible low heeled pumps, she managed to be a commanding presence. Her eyes were the bluest I've ever seen. She always wore pearl studs in her ears, and a neat chignon. In summer, she had on simple but stylish cotton dresses (often blue and white); in cooler weather she wore a skirt suit, similar to the kind that Jackie Kennedy might have worn (it was that era). But her ladylike clothes never stopped her -- she was out there in the thick of the work, giving instructions to the men, and being taken seriously. I loved the blend of simple elegance and practicality in her wardrobe, along with her refusal to be "defeminized" in a male profession. She valued beauty as much as practicality and would not let that love of beauty go.

2. A gay friend and co-worker, Vittorio. We both waited tables at an oyster bar. I was working to pay my way through school. He was ...who knows? He hadn't figured out his life plan, beyond escaping from Sudbury to the big city. But boy, did he know fashion. We used to go to Holt's together and he'd urge me to try stuff on. He found an amazing local designer and turned me on to that company's stuff; I got a coat that it still makes me happy to think of. He got a suit in what he called "Manhattan vanilla" -- a beautiful cream colour. One night we, along with a couple of other co-workers, got so fed up with the mistreatment we were experiencing at the restaurant that we gave our notice, effective the next day. And together, we all hopped on a plane and went to New York for the weekend -- to spend the last of our earnings from that place. I only saw him occasionally after we got back and eventually lost track of him -- but I still think of him with great fondness. He taught me that paying full price for quality and beauty is worth it.

kkards

Veteran

When I was growing up as a Jewish girl in a very conservative New England town in the 70's I was very influenced not by an actual person, but the idea of a person. You know, the old mainline WASP, who dressed as if clothes didn't matter, but of course,they mattered, a lot. I still struggle to achieve that mystical effortless attitude in my dressing.

Helena

Veteran

kkards, i envy that ... sort of patrician effortlessness ... if you figure it out or have any tips on how to achieve, please let me know!!!! (seriously!)

kkards

Veteran

Torontogirl, if I ever achieve it, i promise to share.

gryffin

Veteran

Mary K - Isn't that the truth, that power and advancement bring privilege. Or is it that the type of person who makes it to that level of sucess, gets there because they never truly compromise on who they are or what they want. An interesting question and a powerful inspiration. I can see where both women would have spoken to your polished, refined, confident and powerful aesthetic!!
Suz - what inspiring stories. You "Aunt" Martha!! Wow - what a literal powerhouse!! Women of that era where such incredible trailblazers. Her moxie and self-possession just leaves me speechless with admiration!! I also like the story of your friend, Vittorio. It reminds of that inspiratonal email that floated around many years ago about people coming into your life for a reason, a season, or a life time. The brevity of those relationships sometimes belie the power and the influence they have over us. The right person, at the right time can really be a powerful force for change and growth along our path. Important people no matter how long those friendships last!

gryffin

Veteran

kkards - gosh, I know that look when I see it. Katherine Hepburn and Grace Kelly, mainline, vassar, philadelphia, virginia horse country. Regal and patrician, old money, effortless. I am with torontogirl, we'll be waiting for the tutorial. But that image is so powerful and so seductive. It's a great image to carry and a great look refined, ladylike, stylilsh, appropriate and so self-possessed. Quite an image.
Torontogirl - budge over on the bleachers so I can keep an eye on kkards too!

MicheleLee

This has really got me thinking. I grew up very involved in athletics (lived in athletic gear) so I didn't develop any sense of style until I hit graduate school and was starting my entrance into the professional world. At that point, there was a lot of trial and error mixed with some confidence issues. It's only been in the past few years that I've learned how to look at others and adapt what I like to myself and my body. Therefore, I don't have just one fashion role model. The biggest thing I've learned is to really take time in putting together my wardrobe, making sure each piece fits correctly and it is something that inspires me to hold my head up.

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