Is there anything sadder than...

One of the lines that has always stuck out for me from Fannie Flag's 'Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe':

By the way, is there anything sadder than toys on a grave?

Aside from a child's funeral...is there anything sadder than a funeral where the words 'mummy' or 'daddy' feature prominently

I went the to funeral of a former colleague today. She was in her 40's with beautiful twins aged around 10. There were lovely white flowers in the shape of the word "mummy" resting up against the casket.

She was a lovely, stylish, feisty, zesty, earthy lady who loved those children dearly. I admired her. We weren't particularly close but we had been in touch in the same industry for years, competed for some of the same jobs, worked in the same company for a while. Just so heart wrenchingly sad. Complications from leukaemia that she had been fighting for some time.

We were at the same work event together about two years ago and I just keep thinking how wonderful she looked that day, how much fun we had, and how vivacious she was.

I feel sad. Disproportionately sad...if there is such a thing. I don't know why this should hit so hard.

10 years ago

Summer

Veteran

That's so sad, shipskitty. It's always so much harder when small children are involved. So sad, too, when someone so vibrant, and so young, dies. Those around her, including her lovely children, will always have wonderful memories of this woman. Just remember her as you saw her last, and be glad that she made such a positive impression on you. Take care.

Suz

(website)

Shipskitty, that is terrible. I'm so sorry. And I agree wholeheartedly -- it is always so much harder when children are involved. We project ahead for them, knowing how hard it can be to make way in the world without a mother's love.

Anonymous

Oh, heart rending. So sad when children are left without a parent. I'm sorry for your loss, Shipskitty.

Windchime

The death of a child or the death of a parent of young children are about the saddest experiences there are, in my opinion. Seeing the flowers forming 'Mummy' would have completely undone me, too. They say children are resilient; I take hope from that when someone I know dies, leaving children still at home.

It's also difficult when those in our age group die. It makes us reflect that it could have been us.

Okay, I just thought of something even sadder...a year ago I played music for the funeral of a father in his 30's who committed suicide three days before Christmas, leaving behind his wife and twin elementary school aged daughters. I was sad for weeks afterward (I knew the family from the church where I work.)
I'm sorry for the loss of your former colleague.

Helena

A terrible story ... so very sad, and I think it hits hard because you are a caring human; how could it not? Lots of love, and prayers for your colleagues family ... so sorry for the loss.

Adelfa

I don't think it's disproportionate. Those poor dear children.

K.M.

shipskitty, I so understand. About six months ago an old acquaintance of mine also died before her time. She was a close friend of one of my closest friends and so we'd known each other for over 20 years. She was only 40 and died after a short battle with breast cancer--it was less than three years after diagnosis. She left a little girl who is now almost 5 years old--just a tad older than my own daughter. Although I didn't attend her funeral (I live out of my home country), I cried and cried for days, for her and for her little girl. Just writing about it now makes me sad again.

Life is seriously, seriously unfair sometimes, huh?

Sending special hugs to you. Thanks for sharing.

anchie

Just 10 days ago I lost my sister-in-law ... from heart attack.. she was 43.. she left behind 3 kids, 2 boys 11 and 9 and 7 year old girl.. I am heart broken for my nephews and niece. This post really hit home..

Debbie

Skipkitty-I am so sorry. It is sad when a parent of young children dies. The Mummy wreath would have done me in too.

Anchie-I am sorry for your loss.

Aziraphale

Heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss. Even if it's not a best friend, death is hard. It's especially hard in a situation like this, with young children involved. My heart breaks for them. Kids are resilient, though. My mother-in-law lost her own mother to cancer when she was nine. Grandparents and extended family stepped in. She remembers her childhood very fondly despite the loss of her mom.

I had an experience a bit like that last week. One of my mom's friends passed away suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack. I had talked to her for about an hour several weeks ago at (ironically) the funeral of another one of my mom's friends. I hadn't seen her in quite a few years, and was sorry to learn that her 41-year-old daughter is currently in hospital being treated for anorexia nervosa. And now, her mom is gone. I know she's not a child, but still.

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