So many great comments--I am happy to hear of other women's thoughts as I've often wondered what other woman think of this--is it just natural that they gravitate to a certain way or is it planned--I don't know coz I have no one to ask and have thought the question too personal for face to face, so this is very cool!
I am (here's the most hated word in What Not to Wear) comfortable in jeans and top of some kind depending on the weather. I tried dressing feminine (a curlier hair do here, a bow there--nothing overt more accessory) as a kid but the kids around me ridiculed and taunted me so I let it go and have pretty much been of that mind to this day since adults have done the same--I have SUCKER written all over me I guess. But a year or so ago I accidentally bought a more slim shape fitting (casual- hourglass fit ) top at a jeans store--tried it on and I felt soo different--so good, I nearly cried so now I try to find stuff that can give me a 'feeling'. Is it feminine--I guess so but not girly. I hope to hell people will leave me alone with their stupid comments still. I quietly try.

Wow! I really enjoyed hearing your responses. Very articulate and clear cut. Such an insightful bunch

Sarah, Kari and Joy, thank you for your kind words.

I think feminine dressing is not just wrapped up in a visual look, but also a feeling. A feeling that is inside of you and subject to your interpretation. I need to blog about that.....

It's a huge subject: when you factor in stereotypes, what our mothers made us wear, the era in which we grew up, which clothes and colours suit our bodies, and our personalities, it's got room for all sorts of interpretations.

I'm a so-called tomboy in personality and have been one in style. I've been mistaken for a boy while in my early 20s, because I don't have many curves (except for my muffin top now). In my head I feel womanly and grown-up, rather than girly.

I've been experimenting with more stereotypically feminine styles lately - skirts and dresses and pink and ruffles - but I don't feel like I've found a sweet spot for myself yet. I still feel like I'm performing feminity when I wear a dress. Heels look nice but shorten my steps so I can't keep up with my husband, and I can't break out into a run if I feel like it. And yet a dress is so convenient in other ways! I'm sure there's a way to make it work for me, but I don't know what it is yet.

I was quite the opposite of a tomboy and didn't even wear jeans til I was nine. My style now is understated feminine. I prefer a tailored and fitted look over an excessively ruffly look, but that has been changing since I joined YLF.

Since I had my hair cut short I sometimes find I struggle to feel as feminine in certain outfits and am still adjusting as to how to style them so I feel more so.

OMG Stringy--you wrote ME!! You put into words things I've been thinking and wanting to write and you nailed it so eloquently !! The tomboy personality, lack of curves mistaken as a boy, the performance of feminity (I'm trying to shake the feeling of being in drag). I've also branched into skirts--I thought shorts are short like skirts why not try a skirt.
I hope you have great fun on your way to finding your sweet spot Stringy!!

Okay, I know that we've been 'round the bend and back again with this topic, but I wanted to share something I recently read (without starting a new thread).

http://www.tessdress.com/conve.....ess-vision

There's a new company called Tess, based in Texas, and their vision is to dress *grown* women. Read the link. Look at the beautiful dresses. It's exciting and inspiring!

Well....yes, I suppose I do dress in a feminine way, because even though I wear a lot of jeans, my top is always feminine, and I wear makeup and jewellery. I suppose it doesn't hurt that I'm short and small-boned, with an annoyingly large rack for my frame.

And yes, Angie, you absolutely dress in a feminine way.

Great discussion.

I think, mostly, I dress rather feminine now. When I was younger, I tried to opt out from fashion in general because I didn't like the wrong male attention it seemed to bring. Now, I (mostly) enjoy my shape and want to dress in a way that shows it off.

Whether I was in a jean jumper or a dress, I think I have always come off feminine because I'm petite (only 5'2" with a small frame)... but mostly because of who I am. I tend to be nurturing and touchy... soft spoken and fairly gentle (unless you mess with someone close to me)... meek is how I was described when I was younger... so I'm sure I've always been seen as feminine...

On the other hand, if you talk about being "girly" then I guess I don't fall into that category. Until recently, I wasn't big on makeup or painting my nails/toe nails... I wasn't big into sneakers, but I normally wore those big clunky loafers or maybe a thick heeled mary jane if I needed to wear a dressier heel.

It's a hard question to answer... at the end of it, I think of how my mom taught me it was important to be lady-like so that people (men) didn't feel they could treat you disrespectfully. For me that meant I didn't let men speak inappropriately to me, I didn't speak inappropriately to them... I just carried myself in such a way that a guy was more careful around me with what he said and did (they still are... I work in an office full of men and they apologize if they happen to say "pissed off" around me...) that Lady-like quality is what I think translates into feminine in the long run... regardless of what you wear.

Shauntelle--very interesting. I think there is really something to what you are saying.

Arya - thanks for sharing the link. I thought it was an interesting read and I will keep my eye on this clothing line.

It is very interested. I really enjoyed hearing your article.

I'm a bit late to the party, but thought I'd chip in! I prefer to have a feminine aspect to my clothing. As a pear, there's just no escaping from the fact that I look better in an A-line skirt and a low heel than in trousers and flats. I used to go for a really girly look - I was massively into the gothic lolita subculture and loved wearing frills and lace. However, once I got past 22 I lost my nerve and felt a bit infantile, so I shed the frilliness. Now I prefer to look womanly. The style descriptor I'm currently working towards is "tweedy bombshell".

such an interesting topic! I would say I dress feminine, not in a bombshell kind of way but in small details, I love silk blouses, small heels, feminine shoes and bags and I guess even when I have jeans and a moto jacket those details make all the difference!

I would say that I always look feminine but not girly.I don't like frills and flounces so much, but neither do I wear body con clothes. I'm with Rute in that if I wore a moto I would probably look feminine with accessories used. I'm happy with the vibe that I give off.

Love the idea of a "tweedy bombshell"! I might have to mull that one over...

I don't really think about gender and femininity very much, and never really considered myself either a tomboy or a girly-girl. I do all the household DIY work and like to tinker with computers, but I also spend a lot of time here on YLF and have a very sensitive and caring (stereotypically female qualities) personality.

I think that I have a fairly obviously female appearance, but have been mistaken for a man. In my early 20s I cut my hair quite short after a bleaching disaster, and even though I was wearing earrings and lip gloss, customers at the big box retail store I worked in at the time called me "sir" or referred to me as "him" all the time. I guess they thought I was just an unfortunate guy with massive man-boobs? I suppose the boxy polo shirt, baggy jeans, and doc martens didn't help...

These days I'm not really conscious of trying to look feminine or intentionally mixing feminine and masculine looks. I tend to dislike very girly things, like lots of ruffles, lace, and pastels, but in the last few years I have become more interested in style in general and the messages that are conveyed by my appearance. So in that sense I suppose there is a certain kind of feminine that I am aspiring to -- one that is, as my husband once put it, “approachable, but no bulls**t”.

Hmm. I'm a frilly girl - I will scare you with my pots of make-up and Barbie collection - but no, I don't think I do dress feminine. Too much preppy in me for that.

It's really interesting to me how much people's bodies have to do with their sense of what's feminine or not.

For example, I'm a very busty hourglass, quite petite, with a face that looks much younger than I am. I consider the way I dress to be quite feminine - but I steer clear of most ruffles and frills because people don't perceive me as an adult if I dress on the 'girly' side of feminine (as opposed to the, um, womanly side?)

Maybe we need to add another word in here - 'sophisticated' or 'romantic' or ... dunno, something - to get at this other dimension of age and body type that so many folks have mentioned.

Wow, very old topic, but still very relevant. As it was mentioned earlier in the thread, this brings up all sorts of thoughts about gender roles, social mores and constructs, stereotypes, etc. It is hard to say whether I dress in a "feminine" way, as it depends on the day. As Whitman says, I contain multitudes. Some days I wear heavy boots and slouchy sweaters and studded accessories; other days I wear dotted, flouncy dresses and delicate jewelry; but I am always me, and I am always a woman. I think whether others perceive my clothing or me as feminine might depend more on their constructs around the term than anything objective. That said, in the stereotypical "feminine" department, I love shineys - fine jewelry is my weakness.