Is it manners to ask someone where they bought an item of clothing? - YouLookFab Forum

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Is it manners to ask someone where they bought an item of clothing?

An

While I was in the supermarket today I noticed a girl who looked fantastic in a casual sleeveless purple ruffle neck jersey dress with a yellow bag. I loved the dress and was dying to ask her where she got it. But despite following her (just in the supermarket, nothing too creepy!) to check out what shoes she was wearing with it, I couldn't quite get up the courage to ask.

So, do you ask strangers where they got their clothes from? What about friends? Is it etiquette? Would you mind if someone asked you?

I wouldn't mind if a stranger asked me where I got something, in fact I'ld take it as a compliment. I also don't mind when friends ask, I also take that as a compliment but I wouldn't like my friends to rush out and buy the same things too often - not that they do.

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23 replies

Latest reply was from An

Louise

Veteran

I think if you make it into a compliment most people won't mind " I love your dress where did you get it?" something like that x

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Goodness, yes. I say something like, "do you mind if I ask where you found that gorgeous xyz?"

I don't ask too much any more, simply because people would regretfully tell me they had purchased the item some time ago (last year, etc). Seemed kind of pointless because I could not then go scoop up the same item for myself. (I still tell them they look gorgeous, I just don't bother asking where they got it.)

Marigold

I don't ask... Don't have the courage, and also because I expect them to say 'oh, that was a gift' or 'got it ages ago' or something like that.. I STILL feel slightly uneasy asking YLF Ladies where they got something, even though that seems to be a common practice here

Queen Mum

Veteran

I ask and I never mind other's asking me.
I was in an elevator in the mall this past summer and a gal stepped in wearing the cutest denim dress. Having searched high and low for a denim dress all summer I told her I loved her dress and asked where she got it. She replied "In Canada at an old lady store" Obviously I didn't go snatch that dress up.....

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I always ask! I figure anyone who goes to the trouble to look nice understands that it does take effort to do so, and they appreciate acknowledgement of that from strangers. After all, they are surrounded by the same flip-flop/sweats-wearing people we are; they are probably thrilled to get a high-five from someone else in the fashion tribe. ;-D

bj1111

Veteran

i lead with a compliment...usually that elicits a spontaneous comment about the item's origin. if not, i'll follow up with a "where did you get it?"

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I had our food server ask me where I got my green floral dress after she complimented me and said, "I like your style." a few weeks ago. And just 2 weeks back I approached a lady in the supermarket to inquire about her bag. Ends up it was the Baggallini Sydney in giraffe print. Anyway, neither situation came off weird or stalkerish. I think it's very complimentary to be asked where you purchased something.

vava

(website)

As a manners coach (smile)...by all means yes!!!! Begin with a compliment...and they should take it as one!! I'd say: "I love your dress - you look fab! May I ask where you found it?"

MsMary

Veteran

Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind, I have this idea that it's okay to ask a stranger, but less okay to ask an actual friend or acquaintance, because your friends don't want you to show up wearing their fashion finds in the same places they wear them (that would be your IRL friends, because presumably your YLF friends are happy to have you copy their looks!).

LeahJanes

I've stopped asking cause most of the answers I get begin with "I found it in a cute boutique in London, Paris, Budapest etc etc", or "It's vintage". Argh!

But I think it's totally ok to ask people where they got their nice things. It's a compliment to their taste.

Barbara

Veteran

Hi An,

I would ask, only if the person looks friendly and approachable. I agree with others - HOW you ask is key - start with a compliment and the response will usually be positive.

MaryK, you are right on with your comment. Competition among women CAN be fierce.
Heck, it's hard enough as it is without giving away ALL your best style secrets!

LOL.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I don't mind when a friend asks where I got something... they are usually just making conversation rather than planning to run out and snag up the same item. Sometimes they just want an idea of where you shop.

friend... "Great dress, where did you find that?"
me.. "Thanks.. I got it at Loft"
friend... "Oh, I haven't shopped there in a while... I'll have to go check them out again"

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

I think that I would be more likely to ask if they were in a stationary position (say in the same queue as me at a shop or cafe) or waiting for the bus. I wouldn't interupt someone having a meal with a friend or chase them around a store!

Carole

Veteran

I hope it's not bad manners, because I do ask. I think with a compliment, it is a form of flattery!

judy

Veteran

It's touchy...I tend to compliment even if I don't want to know where they got something...but to me it's interesting to know who made it...and it's nice when people receive the compliment well and even share who, what, where and when with me. But I find that some women take an attitude if I actually ASK...as if they do not want someone else to have what they have. So unless it's an item I have really been looking for, I often don't ask. But I don't mind being asked at all. I take it as a compliment.

Astrid

Veteran

I was in that situation a few times and I was always too shy to ask. But I wouldn't mind if somebody asked me nicely, I think that's alright.

Evie

I ask my girlfriends that all the time. Not because I want to get that particular item, but because it is sort of our friendship ritual, I guess, to tell each other where we shop, how much we paid for it, that sort of thing. We pat each other on the back for great bargain finds, like $9 wool coats gotten at a Chicago goodwill. Who else could we share our joy with?:)

I don't think I've asked strangers before, but definitely got asked. Now that I think of it, it is not inappropriate at all, and I'll take the question as a compliment. I just hate telling people "T.J.Maxx" (chances they'll find a particular item are slim; you can smell the disappointment).

[For some reason, I don't like people asking what perfume I'm wearing, even if that's coupled with the compliment "you smell good". Don't know why.]

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

On the other side of things, I get asked about my boots all the time. Good boots for really wide calves are hard to find. I've never minded and I take it as a compliment.

Ljubica

I ask and I get asked.

Scarlet

Veteran

I have been asked by strangers before and I took it as a great compliment. Along the lines of "That is a great dress, where did you find it?" Also have been asked a couple of times where I get my hair done by strangers. I really take it as a compliment.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I ask friends all of the time, we have quite different styles but YLF spills over into real life and I can't resist asking about their new purchase. I have never asked a stranger, it does seem a little impertinent, I may feel differently about the situation if we were already in a conversation though.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Go for it An! We are a pretty laid back bunch down-under and I can't envisage anyone taking offence by a sincere and flattering comment, unless they had pre-existing "issues" (which would have nothing to do with you!).

I've done it myself and even had someone do the same for me last week. It feels lovely to be acknowledged!

An

Thanks for your responses everyone. Guess what??? I just got asked where I got my top!! The sales assistant in a coffee shop asked me and it was said with a compliment. I enjoyed it and took it as a compliment. I guess it's easier to ask when you are engaged in conversation anyway. Ok next time I get the urge to ask I will!!