Intimidated by a dress? - YouLookFab Forum

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Intimidated by a dress?

Elizabeth Armbruster

Somehow I got it in my head that I should buy a dress for my son's HS graduation. I haven't worn a skirt in years, my legs not being my favorite part, but I found a tea length (or midi, but it seems like "midi" can be anywhere from knee length to upper calf?) dress on ThreadUp and with a discount it was a pretty good price to take a chance.

It's a JilSander, and I do like it and would definitely wear it to the graduation. I was thinking about wearing it to work on Monday (we are barely back in the office, and dress code is business casual.)

The dress itself isn't fancy, but I'm so out of practice! Will I stand out? Will it look ridiculous? I feel like I don't even have an eye for this anymore. A dress is a departure from my usual dark jeans and blouse office combo. I don't want that "oh, are you interviewing?" comment (not that anyone would actually say anything) you get when you dress up a bit.

Any words of advice from dress chameleons out there? Anyone regularly go from jeans to dresses, fancy to basic just cause you feel like it? I would like to be one of those women who dresses up and always looks a bit elevated, but I tend to dress more casually because I can get away with it, and my hair and make up tend to be less polished as well.

Part of me is "what the heck, give it whirl" and part of me does not want to be emotionally uncomfortable all day! (the dress is very comfy!)

Anyone have thoughts on this topic?

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Dressing

24 replies

Latest reply was from Zaeobi

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Well for starters it’s a very nice dress and a good balance between smart and not trying too hard.l think that you can wear anything you like as long as it’s situation appropriate and this looks great for both graduation and work.As for psychological comfort,can you assesss what it is that is making you hesitate?This might help in your decision making.If it’s any help l can relate,l am totally flummoxed by dressing for anything other than household chores and going out for walks as l am so out of practice now.How about a little dress up in front of the mirror to Spend abit of time working out what shoes and accessories you would feel comfortable with?

kellygirl

Veteran

It looks like a great basic dress that still isn't that far of a departure from dark jeans and blouse outfit. I wear dresses intermittently too and no one bats an eye anymore. I feel like the post quarantine especially, anything goes. I wouldn't hesitate! Good luck!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

It’s simple enough that I think it can read casual and thus would not be a jarring change from your usual uniform. I say wear and enjoy — give yourself a little time to ease into feeling more comfortable in it.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I regularly wear both dresses and jeans (and skirts, too!). I like the versatility of having different types of pieces to combine. That dress reads casual, rather than "dressy", and should be fine in your casual office atmosphere.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I had years and years when I didn’t wear dresses, from when my children were little, and finally bought one when my oldest was 16, which sounds similar to you. I have bought plenty since but still feel more my natural self in pants. I think some days just feel like dress days so I just put one on for a change and a chance to wear one.
Last year I was the only woman at a lunch at someone’s house wearing a dress I noticed, but I didn’t mind.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I go between jeans and dresses—a lot!
That dress looks like a cool chameleon that you can dress up or down as you wish. Wear it with flat loafers & a simple necklace for work. And congrats and your kid’s graduation!

rachylou

Veteran

I *do* break out stunners on office days every now and then (if it’s not a tee and leggings at the bakery, it is btw ‘a stunner’ ). It proceeds to be a day of fashion small talk and twirling for people. Lol. I say, ‘Yes! I wanted to give it an outing!’ A little bit of lively.

Runcarla

Veteran

In retirement I aspire to elevated casual - which sometimes means I match my t-shirt to my sneakers! I’m a seasonal dress wearer, bringing my 3 dresses and one skirt (!) out when the weather is warm - so starting this month?!? As far as opportunities to dress up, I use the weekly bridge night as one opportunity, and any appointment like a hair cut, dental, optometrist visit. Also, grocery shopping (weekly, scheduled) calls for a little more effort.

The dress you’ve chosen does not look ‘fancy’, and in fact looks versatile. Dress it up for the graduation ceremony, and keep it simple for work. Shoes are important to the overall vibe, so loafers, a simple flat, even sneakers for work, and something a little dressier for the grad.

cat2

Veteran

I am a fan of dresses for the office; yours looks like a great summer option with casual flats.

Anonymous

I think the dress is lovely, very appropriate for a graduation, & still in keeping with your general style. Great pick!

Echo

Veteran

I agree that the dress doesn't read as too fancy, and it could easily go from a nicer event to a casual, jeans-type occasion. So there's no objective reason for you to feel uncomfortable.

Getting used to it after being out of the habit is a whole different issue, though, and that will take time. You may have to force yourself to wear it the first few times, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will be, and the more accustomed to it others will be, too.

I switch between jeans and much fancier dresses, just because I can, and no one bats an eye about it anymore!

rachylou

Veteran

Back to say, the dress isn’t too fancy… but I know what you mean… because wearing a dress when one doesn’t normally will convince everyone else you’re ‘dressed up today.’ I think though it will make more sense for everyone after two years of pandemic and you don’t have to worry about people looking askance in the same way…

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

The best way to find out is to try. The dress looks great, and I don't think it will give interview vibes.

Star

Veteran

Go for it! As everyone else has said, it is a dress you can dress up or down.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Btw, I hope you’re practicing your shimmy, so you can give them a good one, and a grin, if you get those weird questions. Then just walk away.

Jules

Veteran

It’s hard to get the full vibe without knowing the fabric and how you would style it, but a glance it’s not a dress that says ‘interview’ to me, because of the sleeves and neckline. A blazer and skirt or trousers, sheath dress or pencil skirt outfit would all read more business-y to me. However, I am not working in a business district environment like I used to so I may not know what’s current.
I fully understand not feeling up to wearing something different, sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t! You can’t control others’ perceptions or comments though. I made one my myself on our big ‘back to the office’ day last week, because my coworker who’s newly in a leadership position was wearing a nicer shirt and jeans than he used to. I quickly realized my comment had made him self-conscious but I think I recovered the situation. Lesson learned though that even the fairly fashion clueless IT guys I work with might have feelings (duh).

Jules

Veteran

PS nothing wrong with the neckline, I’m sure it’s appropriate, but it doesn’t read as formal as a collared shirt or blouse.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Cute dress! Very casual and comfy. Wear it! Dress it down with casual footwear.

Personally, I swap things out from wearing dresses, skirts, dressy trousers, casual pants, and jeans all the time! From casual, smart casual, and business casual, to quite formal too. I'm good at dressing down my dressy items with denim, sneakers, and cross-body bag. I wear dressy items with doggies in tow. When we have dinner with friends next week in their home - I'm going to debut my new formal navy tulle skirt with flats and denim. Life is too short. If not now - when? ......is how I see it

ETA: My dresses and skirts aren't form fitting. The move a lot. A-lines, fit & flares, sack dresses, column dresses, roomy shirt-dresses. I don't wear sheaths and pencil skirts. So I'm always comfy, can walk fast, and ready for doggie action!

JAileen

Veteran

Ease yourself back into dresses. Wear it to a small thing, then a bigger thing and then finally to work.

Roberta

Veteran

I think "emotionally uncomfortable" is a great phrase! I wear dresses quite often because I find them comfortable, but the tricky part (for me) comes with the accoutrements that might be required. Heels? Necklaces and/or bracelets? Then I feel odd and keep taking things off and putting them back on. I have a wedding in June and I'm already stressing about the shoes.

Your choice looks like a perfect toe in the water. I would have secret satisfaction in the label at the very least.

Kate

Veteran

It’s a great versatile dress, and looks very comfortable. I think you can dress it up or down, as fits the occasion. I love Jil Sander’s designs; I’d sure like to have that dress myself!

Elizabeth Armbruster

Thanks everyone! Updating to add I didn't wear the dress to work! It was bucketing down rain for one which upset my shoe plan so I bailed.

I love the advice to start small. My son is being honored at a dinner/meeting in a few weeks. For sure that deserves a dress so I'll give it another go. Two hours with people I don't know should be a good venue for a style change.

As my mother says, "you wouldn't worry so much about what other people think of you if you knew how little they did."

RobinF

Veteran

Haha your mom has a point! I always worry about stuff like that when I'm sure no one but me is paying any attention.

I totally understand your reluctance to wear it to work. I wonder after you have worn it a few times to other outings if you may feel more comfortable in it. I agree with the shoe comments, the choice of more casual shoes would make a huge difference.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

Is that drawstring smocking at the empire waistline? If so, I think that detail will help it look dressed down or 'smart casualwear' appropriate - it's not the usual interview style (unless interviewing for a creative field?)

I feel like this dress could totally be rocked by forum members @Jenn or @Deborah (in an earthy rocker/ Avant Garde architectural style respectively) - so it might be worth looking them up here for some ideas