In wardrobe, do you do better or worse with "hard and fast" rules? - YouLookFab Forum

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In wardrobe, do you do better or worse with "hard and fast" rules?

April

Veteran

I find that - paradoxically - it is more freeing for me to make a hard and fast rule than it is to bend on every issue.

For example, I have always admired Angie's wardrobe "one in, one out" rule, without actually following it. This year, I will do more following.

I am also finding it freeing this year not to click on every retail wardrobe item I see that appeals to me. Check my favorite resale sites, see if I have something similar already, give it a cooling-off period and see if I keep going back to it, etc.

How about you, do you chafe against the hard and fast or find it helpful?

General

47 replies

Latest reply was from Bonnie

Ginger

Veteran

I have only two rules:

No three-quarter sleeves. I like how they look and feel in the store. But when wearing I am always uncomfortable: Too much sleeve when it's warm, and definitely not enough when I'm cold. They don't layer well, either. I've regretted it every time I've gotten one. I need the rule, since I can be swayed when shopping.
No items in colors I don't like and/or will not reach for. This includes black in most cases. I know from experience that no matter how beautifully made it is or how nice it feels on in the dressing room, if I don't care for the color or it emotionally drags me down, I will not reach for it.

I find these very helpful for not wasting money and closet space. I'm instinctively a rule-follower, though, so I don't add any more rules than this. That would rapidly take the fun out of shopping, organizing, and wearing clothes.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

I used to think I'd chafe against rules about colour (I've always said that I have a favourite colour *scheme* rather than a favourite colour, because I like all colours, just depending on which ones surround them at the time).

But after finding out in 2019 that I'm a DA (Deep Autumn), I either got rid of all my black items or relocated them to specific capsule wardrobes (gymwear & UK wear). And haven't looked back since! I still get to keep a rainbow in my closet, but just deep or warm shades of a rainbow.

So I feel sometimes rules can help - especially if you're feeling lost without them.

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Vildy

Veteran

I like hard and fast rules because they are hard won through anaysis of what's not working. Though sometimes they are more complex:
no cotton feeling rayon tops except when close-fitting tropical shirts.

SarahD8

Veteran

Rules work for me when they are about the qualities of an item. No acrylic sweaters because they make me itch and sweat. No blazers/woven toppers because I never feel like myself in them. But these are less rules than statements of my own preferences!

I do not like hard and fast rules about wardrobe management. They activate my rebellious/contrary streak and sap the joy of style/dressing for me. Sometimes I can become more focused on gaming them to adhere to the letter of the rule while upending its spirit (one in one out makes me hold on to things I know I don't want so that I'll have something to discard when I want to buy something new!). Sometimes I can be so focused on doing the rules perfectly that I miss the larger point (I set an intention last fall "resist dark neutrals" and found that even that gentle guidance was stopping me from duplicating the black ponte leggings and skirt leggings I've been leaning so heavily on this year. I reminded myself that the point was not to never buy dark neutrals again but just to pause and not to default to them in my shopping bc they are so available. I bought the leggings!)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Since I'm trying to be more impulsive and spontaneous - read today's post - I will be relaxing my rules

April

Veteran

There's nothing better than knowing yourself well!

Ginger, I feel the same as you about 3/4 sleeves. And I hate when retail websites only show a sleeve scrunched with no mention of its length.

Runcarla

Veteran

Not rules so much, as ‘parameters’ related to - budget, wardrobe size, colours, materials/fabrication. I have a few ‘no buys’ as well. I joke that ‘I never met a rule a didn’t like’, but then I’m a hard ‘J’ (Meyers-Briggs) I use ALL the filters when on-line shopping. B&M is more distracting, but since Working with a colour palette, I’ve been able to filter better in-store. You have to keep an open mind when shopping thrift, though, and less discipline has resulted in some fab wildcards.

I like SarahD8’s use of ‘intentions’ better than ‘rules’ when it comes to fashion, style, and closet management.

RobinF

Veteran

What SarahD8 said! A rule will often make me rebel. A "no buying" rule makes me want nothing more than to shop. But reminders that certain things don't work for me - that is different.

rachylou

Veteran

Fashion rules don’t work for me at all. Which is sort of interesting. Because if I think about it, I’m a rule follower. My work is all about rules and systems. Fashion is perhaps my creative space for breaking rules and introducing chaos… Hmm. This is kinda deep(!)

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Mmm,l think l shall employ Runcarla word”parameters”as l feel that this has a certain amount of flexibility built into it!I have vague rules that l feel are more like guidance than absolutes because l have learnt that l can change my mind about all things fashion-y so hard and fast rules don’t suit me but l agree that it’s good to have some parameters in life and fashion.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I will defer to Pirates of the Caribbean here: “They’re more like guidelines anyway”, which we quote a lot in our family!
Adopting guidelines for my wardrobe has helped me since it was out of control. I don’t manage an exact one-in one-out but try to more-or-less do that so that my wardrobe does not grow. If there is too much I can’t manage it or wear it enough.

Sal

Veteran

I am a P on the Myers Briggs so I work best with guidelines.
- one is enough (very rare duplication)
- broad shipping lists rather than being too precise

However once or twice a year I like to have a strict no buy period. It moved around as to season but last year it was November and December.

Anonymous

I'm a P on Myers Briggs too (shocks no one) so yes to guidelines instead of rules. I'm pretty strict about my color palette, keep my wardrobe within limits, and have certain things I don't like to wear, but have often made very drastic style changes.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

In any aspect of life, I generally find that hard & fast rules don’t quite fit. There is always something that makes it seem not applicable, so I spend more time arguing (maybe just in my head) when there’s a rule that could be neat & clean than I do when I have general guidelines/philosophies to think along the lines of.

anchie

Veteran

What can I say - I love rules and have many of them

Christina F.

Veteran

I try not to have too many rules; I have broken past "rules" to my benefit in the past by trying new things.

That said, there are definitely things I steer away from. There are things I have poison eyes for (the color khaki, suede) but I don't consider those rules, per se. Also, certain things feel not my style (a lot of ruffles or lace). Other things I can't wear, like tight pants or heels.

I think my one real rule is not to have any yellow near my face (tempered within a print is okay). It is the one color that makes me look sickly.

Very puffy sleeves are also something I do mostly avoid--unflattering on me.

Otherwise, I think the right item or context can make most things work. I have a high tolerance of ambiguity and grey areas.

judy

Veteran

Yes, I do better with a kind of intuitive listening than with rules when it comes to wardrobe. Though sometimes perhaps I don't listen well enough! Like duplication, which I did last year, but the item...a cardigan... was so perfect that I did end up buying two of them over a period of time. We'll see how that works out.

Being open and playful with clothes is fun AND it is good to know yourself. So no, I will not end up wearing that fedora type hat I saw online the other night that was tempting. My eye loves hats, but my head hates them! So "no hats" might be a current rule (though I love my soft and not tight cashmere beanie I must wear in winter).

Star

Veteran

I never applied wardrobe rules and as a result I have way too many clothes, in a mish-mash of styles. Since being on YLF I am becoming much more discerning about what I buy. 2022 I tried to practice 1 in 2 out and almost made it. I will continue with that this year. My rules now are mostly around colors and fit of a garment. Two recent examples; I spied a lovely spring green made in Italy handbag in the thrift shop. I went home to chew on it knowing that spring green does nothing for my silver hair (it makes it look green). I was trying to convince myself that a handbag is away from my face, etc, then I remembered in the past I have had 2 spring green handbags that I barely used. Hhhm, no spring green bag for me. No spring green anything for me ever! The other item was a red plaid pair of trousers. Such fun, nice and bright, chewing over it reminded me that I had a pair of red trousers before and struggled to style them, as well as a bright pink pair which I also struggle with. So imagine how much I will struggle with red PLAID. So the rule, which I did set previously, no colorful pants, was applied and must be applied from here forward! I think I am doing better with these types of rules. Also no skirts, unless they are of pure cotton. I have so many other ones that I just never wear.

ophelia

Veteran

I’ve never met a rule I didn’t want to break.
I do make decisions based on analysis though. I have a ludicrous quantity of skirts-if I didn’t have a bunch packed away I’d count them & we could all have a good yet horrified laugh—so I will aim to not buy more. But the right skirt could all too easily change my mind.

nuancedream

Veteran

If the hard and fast rules are set by someone else who has no clue about my personality, lifestyle, preferences, etc., I will break them in a heartbeat. However, I do have personal guidelines that I follow like no black handbags, no tweed, no mohair in knitwear, no dropped waist dresses or skirts, and high five to Ginger and April, no 3/4 sleeves.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

High five, nuancedream! If someone else sets the rules I want to argue; if I decide on the guidelines, they typically serve me well. (And I'm a J in Myers-Briggs, too -- go figure.)

High five, SarahDB -- one of my guidelines is no acrylic sweaters (same issues as yours). Another is no leggings and tunics outfits -- I just don't like them on me, and though I like them enough on others to be tempted to try the silhouette, I've been down that road too many times now to go there. I easily steer away from colours that don't flatter me (esp. yellow near the face -- high five, Christina!), but struggle more with dressing for the real vs. the fantasy life. Yet without that guideline would fall down in this area more often. So those are the kinds of guidelines I try to set and follow for myself.

jussie

Veteran

Gosh I have a tonne of wardrobe rules. I think overall they do help me. Actually though; I often try to make rules or strict categories for things, and frankly whilst it’s good for the wardrobe….. it’s not so good at all when it generalizes to other, less controllable areas of life! I’m a J on the mbti. I’m actually making an effort to be less rigid generally.
Occasionally I do break the wardrobe rules for the right item though, recently with good results when I bought two good raglan sleeve items in the last two years, normally a no go zone for me.
Some of my wardrobe rules:
One in one out, no 100% polyester, no boat necks, no 3/4 sleeves, no synthetic shoes, no red or orange, no collarless jackets, no “fit and flare” dresses, no bias cut, no bright white, no brogues or derby’s, no scoop necks, no stiff cotton button up shirts….. you get the picture! I think it has helped me have a wardrobe that’s pretty functional and joyful-for-me, as much as it sounds restrictive.

Dee

Veteran

Any strict rules as far as my wardrobe goes I find I’m not too great with, but as others have mentioned, I have finally adopted a few “guidelines” to keep things under control instead, such as:

Sticking to a certain colour palette.
Any new item should be able to go with some of what I own already.
Must be comfortable and not too fussy.
Needs to be realistic to my current lifestyle.

I find these few guidelines have been pretty helpful, because before I used to just buy whatever caught my fancy and my wardrobe was all over the place.

MsMaven

Veteran

Over the years I've had all kinds of rules, some of my own and others I got from magazines, TV shows, etc. And I'm sure I've broken them all. This year my only rule was to not buy anything in January--just work with what I have. So at the end of December I ordered a pair of shoes and a top that arrived in January. Lately my old bras feel too tight in the band so I've ordered some new ones, up a band size, last week.

And I realize I need to replace some items that are getting shabby. I promise myself to wait a few weeks.

I hate 3/4 sleeves. Always have. They do nothing for my long, skinny arms. Last summer I bought a couple, however, for physical therapy. They were fine for that.

Joy

Veteran

As I get older I make more rules because they keep me from making fashion mistakes. In general I rebel against rules but maybe that is what Suz means when it is someone else’s rules.

SarahD8

Veteran

New rule: I give Suz my share of the world's sharp jackets and she gives me her share of tunics and leggings!

nuancedream

Veteran

Suz, I hear you! My personal style rules/guidelines serve me quite well. There are few things from a style perspective that get me hot under the collar with the exception of arbitrarily determined rules such as, " If you are over X age, you shouldn't wear Y" or lists of "10 essential items all women need in their wardrobe." ALL women??

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LOL, SarahDB, that sounds like a great plan!

And yes, personal guidelines are great if they are based on experience.

LaPed

Veteran

Parameters and guidelines, yes. Rules, no. I am too contrarian to adhere to strict rules, but a completely open-ended approach to shopping and getting dressed leads, in my experience, to decision fatigue.

High five to my mates on Team No Three-Quarter Sleeves!

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