In the olden days... - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

In the olden days...

rachylou

Veteran

I have been thinking that *in the olden days,* I dressed a certain way because I was part of a certain societal tribe and bound by a certain philosophy and way of life.

I sort of miss it. Now I think I dress to belong to a style tribe, which doesn't imply as much and isn't very profound. I was thinking it makes it harder in some ways to have a style because I don't feel as much meaning in it all. I have less ideas.

But it may just be the old tribal system is gone, and I haven't found one I like that much. I mean, yeah, I'm kinda hipsterish but I am so not turning my bedroom into an abattoir to make artisan sausage...

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

unfrumped

Veteran

Ok, that is kind of random, or maybe smoking something artisanal, or it's so rachy!
I hear you on the meaning of life thing, but all tribal dressing can be either more or less profound or ridiculous depending on whether you're looking in or looking out. Suits vs. bell- bottoms, ya know? And you're still societal now, you've just moved on to an evolving mixture of roles, beliefs, interests.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I think I understand what you're saying - and going with that assumption, I will say that I don't miss dressing for a societal tribe (old school southern belle in-laws, military officer wives groups). I was never so happy in my life as when I decided, in my mid-30's, to stop trying to blend in with a herd that I was never going to fit into anyway.

I (think I) get what you're saying about a style tribe - the thing about that is, everyone in the style tribe shares superficial, surface things in common. And that's good! I can admire someone's outfit - even if it isn't entirely my style - without feeling the need to express my deep and lasting disappointment that they aren't visually conforming to the person I think they ought to be.

It's entirely possible I am misunderstanding what you've said here! It's been a loooong day.

Diana

Veteran

Ha. I think most of my life I've rejected most of my Societal Tribes stylistically. Let's see, i definitely don't dress like the Schlumpy Scientists, the ABCs, the Ivy League Preps. I don't even really dress like a Geek Girl. I suppose an argument could be made for Eccentric Academic, but really I'm the wrong kind of academic (science, not humanities).

The thing about style tribes is that you get to choose. You're not dressing to fit into a particular mold, but rather you're part of the tribe because of how you dress. I'm glad I found at YLF here because it's a lonely fashion wasteland here in my real world sometimes. It is still a society though, of people who are interested in fashion. And that's no less legitimate than a society of scientists, or Asians, or Ivy Leaguers.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Funny, I always wanted to make sure I didn't fit into a certain tribe. I wanted to be ME - not a hipster or punk or sk8er girl or ska chick (yep, I am from the OC). I guess that is part of why my moniker is so overly-complicated.

But like Diana said, you get to choose what your tribes are, and maybe sometimes the tribe is scattered. The UWPs sure aren't all congregated on the West Side. Maybe it would help to hook up with more people who share your philosophical beliefs first... the sartorial inspiration could kick off from there. Maybe... lol.

deb

Veteran

I have always been an outsider looking in. Never wanting to belong, though. i have always enjoyed lurking, it is safer. It also made it easier to make my own style no matter what group I happened to be around at the time. In the end, as I aged it enabled me to be comfortable with myself.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Opposite for me I think. I never wanted to look like everyone else, now I don't mind so much. Either way I think it's called growing up - not sure though

Lyn D.

Veteran

Maybe your 'style-tribe' is less comfortable because we are often lone members who mainly only get to interact with each other in cyberspace.
Sometimes it's not easy to be an individual among our family and peers.
I disagree about the lack of depth, as we are all striving to accept ourselves and others for what and who we are without the judgement.

cobaltblue

Veteran

Feeling you here. I've definitely got a "Latin Mass in the Oklahoma backwoods" capsule that I'm not really seeing the need for in my current life circumstances. But it'd be hard to get rid of that stuff. I mean, I like it and it's comfortable in its own way!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Agree with Lyn that being in an internet tribe is something different than being in a real life tribe. I was never good at real life tribes, which makes me enjoy self selected cyber-tribes all the more I think.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, I've never been much of one to blend in with the tribe, even when the tribe was one based on not fitting in with the rest of conventional society. Imagine me at age 18 in purple palm tree surf shorts and a baggy white tee in the middle of a famously punk (at the time) club. I also, perhaps unwisely, frequently dressed in all black a few years later when I was working in a private school, in a sea of teacher sweaters and preppy looks.

I don't want to look "weird" to the average observer, but I don't exactly dress to fit into any one group. It's interesting because I was desperate to fit in, back in middle school when I wanted to wear Levi's and my mom didn't understand why the cheap no-name versions were not acceptable. By the time I graduated high school, I had started to be more of an early adopter (yes, I had one of the first mullet-ish hairstyles in my school) and forge my own style.

Thistle

Veteran

You always crack me up with your direct and poignent musings!

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I've been a stay at home mother for so long and have never worn the mom uniform of those around me. I found that some women upped their dress due to my influence while others looked at me like -"Who does she think she is?" I am fortunate to have a great self esteem so always answered those looks with thoughts in my head that said, " It's because I know myself and love myseff that I dress this way." I never judged those who chose the mom uniform and think it is that treatment of them,that after a warming up period always smoothed out.

My husband and I have this " we are not moths to the flame" philosophy of life. He was always the best dressed in his office... The owner of his company loved his dress so much that he gave $500 to all the marketing managers underneath him to get new better wardrobes.. My husband and I went shopping with them and it was an incredible experience...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

In the oldest olden days (i.e. childhood) I dressed to express myself -- whether that meant rabbit fur-trimmed turquoise corduroy robes with red patent "dancing" shoes, Beatle boots, or pink and burgundy skirt and blouse (like today's blogger, I was into fun colour combos), or a staid white blouse and grey skirt when no one was forcing me to wear a uniform.

In the middle olden days (high school) I dressed to blend in and be like the others -- in plaid pants, platforms, and denim.

In the newer olden days (20s and 30s) I wanted to dress to be myself, but couldn't figure out who I was, so ended up different than most people my age, but feeling singularly lacking in style and cool.

In the recent olden days, I preferred not to get dressed because clothes were so difficult. I belonged to the tribe of bathrobe schlumpers.

Today, I am happy to belong to the tribe of YLF. Where I get to express myself while still being a lemming!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(chuckling @ Suz).

Oh, Rachy-honey. Trust me. You march to the beat of your own style tribe, and inner drum. Your sausage tastes fantastic already.

rachylou

Veteran

Lol, Angie! *Drink the kool aid, eat the sausage.* Good point. I'm delusional about how tribal I really am or have ever been. Haha. Because...

Interesting thoughts, interesting thoughts, dearhearts. You point out to me (little beknownst to y'all, or maybe y'all do know) that, actually, I was always a terrible member of my own tribe. I got into an argument with the recruiter for Brown University because I thought he was awfully white gloves and ivory towers. Not that there aren't salt-of-the-earth preppies out there who keep calm and carry on (at Brown even, hehe). There are, and I admire them, and it's why I've never felt totally rejectful. But there's also a tremendous amount of dead weight. It's totally true, style tribes are far less suffocating. I cannot be appointed by my shoes to direct people to take their coffee into the salon after dinner.

I both mind and don't mind conformity. I mind it because I'm so bad at it - the peer pressure doesn't register with me as I believe it should - and I'm rather fond of it because it impresses me. I have a really hard time saying crazy things to get my daily meal. I'll never forget this one guy I knew who thought "women should stay home in the kitchen" but, get this, wasn't sure he was good being the sole breadwinner. If only I didn't notice the discrepancies, I'd be set!

I have to ponder more on the matter of virtually connected tribes. That's a very very good point. The tribal experience feels different because of the medium. Can't be marched to Nordstrom for a blue blazer like dad would do. And, of course, YLF embodies more than clothes. There *is* a way of being in the world embodied by YLF that I take to heart. It's probably more important than the clothes - ok, well, as important, hehe. My word for it is graciousness.

And I don't suppose we have a cuisine too: Melkterts! Hehe.

Ok, but I do remember my first Vogue, and I was far more definitive about style. Perhaps that was the arrogant ignorance of youth that likes to make proclamations...

Lyn D.

Veteran

Rachy you are so wise

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I think my work is like a tribe. One of the staff docs refuses to dress like the rest of us, and today someone thought he was a cab driver.

catgirl

Veteran

Rachy, I want your complete biography. Or autobiography.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I've never had a tribe and probably never will. I have also realized that I was not popular or cool in high school and the same holds true today.
I just make do with a few good friends who get me.
Although I think I need to make a trip to the Bay area again and see some East Bay hipsters in the flesh.

cciele

Veteran

Love your insights, Rachy! I think the tribal system is alive and kicking, but I'm not sure what distinction is to be made between the "old" system and the "new" one.

My tribe has always been related to music/musicians. Nerdiness, self-expression, creativity, individualism with collusion -- that's what I love about that tribe.

rachylou

Veteran

I'll bet your work is like a tribe, lyn. In fact I'm sure of it. Psychiatry, right?

Una, I'm just an observer. My autobiography would be boring. I only know people who know interesting people. Lol.

Anna, two words: Hipster Safari. Come snarky and drunk, and it's a laugh riot. But you remind me of something. There's tribes and there are cliques. Cliques have a lot to do with personality, and the personality type determines the size of the clique. Cool/popular people have a distinctive personality type. My dd is popular. Socializes in big groups. An extrovert. The clique will coordinate outfits. I'm borderline introvert/extrovert. I socialize small or in massive groups. Don't do matching. I am - hehe, and I say it myself - cool, but not popular, and yet attended apparently an amazing amount of parties.

cciele, the new system leaves me a little baffled. I'm working on a new taxonomy, but it's tough going. Lol. Interesting that you're part of the musician tribe. I love the idea of individualism with collusion. What a great phrase!