In Style Magazine advice this month - YouLookFab Forum

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In Style Magazine advice this month

Isabel

Veteran

I have practically stopped looking at fashion magazines because I would rather be on YLF. But today I flipped through In Style while I waited at my DD's orthodontist appt.

I read a couple of great ( to me ) sentences that really resonated with me , mostly because it really encapsulated what Angie has said all along . To paraphrase :

1. Classics should be YOUR classics. Not someone else's.
Of course. This is why those lists of must-haves never really work out for me. They are someone else's list. Duh to myself.

2. If you are going to get an expensive piece, make it realistic for your life.
This has also been a real lesson here for me. I upped my boots and comfy shoes expenditures. Along with some bags and sweaters. And I am so freakin' happy about it. I wear them over and over and over. It also explains why my one and only Marc Jacobs piece ( the single most expensive piece I have ever bought ) just didn't work. It wasn't realistic for my life or style. I saw Julia Louis-Dreyfus in the cotton coat that I bought ( in In Style coincidentally ) and looked fantastic on her. But her life and style are so vastly different. What was wrong with me ??? hahahahahahahahaha.....

Over to you. Any thoughts on this too ?

Dressing

25 replies

Latest reply was from Mellllls

Runcarla

Veteran

These are great 'rules' to live/shop by, Isabel. I especially like the idea of being spendy on things you really use. I've never regretted the money I've spent on my bike or sports kit. Nor my pricey bed linens and pillows. Nor my pots and pans. Now I just need to apply that to my everyday clothes!

Isabel

Veteran

Carla for me, it was our Dyson vacuum cleaner. I avoided it for years saying to my husband, who wanted one, " Really ? How fancy can sucking up be ??? "

Well, Dyson is fan-cee and awesome ! : )

adorkable

Veteran

Amen to them both!

Lisa

Veteran

Great reminders. I invest in premium denim sometimes and it is always worth every penny. Since I wear jeans everyday the cost per wear whittles down pretty fast.

Isabel

Veteran

Lisa, for me this winter it has been two wonderful, big, comfy cashmere sweaters and a merino wool waterfall sweater. 2 blacks , 1 gray. I wear them constantly and they hold up so much better than other stuff in the past that I scrimped on.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I think that's great advice. I think those lists of must haves are never foolproof because sometimes someone else's classics,aren't yours. Instyle is amongst the best of the fashion mags as far as 'regular folks' fashion goes, I think.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Great advice, especially #2, but in a bit of a different way for me. The reality of my workday life is that I currently teach in a 100 year old building. I've worn expensive clothes only to have them get snagged on an old wood chair. I have to be careful where I spend the most: shoes, OK, skirts, not so much.

Adelfa

Veteran

I like these, Isabel! I'm afraid I've often spent more than usual on an unrealistic item! It's really good to remember to spend on what we use.

Gigi

Veteran

Sometimes it's great to get back to basics. I liked the second point of advice you gave. I bought a very expensive pair of boots last year, but it was because they were comfy, were warm, fit me well, and were in the exact color I wanted. They fit my life very well (and my wardrobe too!), and I find myself wearing them whenever possible, not just when there's a special occasion or something (though they're good for that too). Helps you get your money's worth!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I need to tape the second recommendation on my bathroom mirror. Or maybe on top of my laptop screen where that sneaky camera is. That way when I want to hit the "Check Out" button on my shopping cart, I will remember!!!

Eirlys

I think money spent on shoes and boots is money well-spent. Soft leather is essential I have found if boots are to be comfortable. I once made the costly mistake of buying boots because I liked the style. The leather was too hard around my ankles and I had to get rid of my "lovely" buy!

I don't spend much on handbags though I do watch out for a bit of quirkiness.If it isn't there, I add it in the way of a large shiny initial ....mine! I have even been known to pin a brooch on an evening bag.

I don't mind paying a bit more for something that will earn its keep. If worn practically every day the cost is soon recouped. If I can find it in the Sale I'm delighted!

Helena

Veteran

Excellent advice - I definitely need to pay attention to #2 especially! Thanks for sharing.

Jules

Veteran

Oooh I like your pots and pans analogy, Runcarla! My Le Creuset Dutch oven, my chef's knife, stand mixer (I'm a baker) - all these things are worth the space and money, 20x over. But a specialty shaped baking pan in a cheap finish is much like a cheap trendy scarf or top - not well-thought out, ends up just taking up space!

JayS

Veteran

Excellent advice for sure. I'm with CocoLion..tape it to the computer as well as my wallet.

MRL

Veteran

This is spot on. Much of my wardrobe consists of classics, but I always cringe when I read the "must have" lists. There are always few items listed such as blazers (for me) that I just have never warmed up to and do not wear. So true that one must take into account your own style preferences, lifestyle, etc.

I enjoy reading InStyle (I always buy a copy when I travel), but find the YLF site much more useful.

HiggsMistress

Great advice! I really need to stick to #2 when shopping. I have way too many clothes that fit those "where the heck am I going to wear this" moments.

Kristin L

Veteran

I think that's wonderful advice!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is excellent advice, and I can always use the reminders! It's odd how long it can take us even to figure out what is truly realistic for our lives. I guess because our lives do change -- our kids get older so we aren't running around the park with them or pushing a stroller; we get a new job; we move to a different climate; etc. I know for me, just narrowing that down -- what is realistic for me -- that makes everything fall into place.

I have splurged in the last year on:

Premium denim (I wear jeans almost every day in fall/ winter/ spring). This equals a smart purchase.

A couple of higher quality cashmere sweaters: Bought during the sales, so really only had them for a portion of the season -- and even so, they are earning their CPW tenfold in this long frigid winter. Now I know the quality of these items, I will be sure to look for sales by these makers next year as well.

Footwear: This has been mixed. The weather turned against me. I put a lot into boots but even though they're weather proof, the weather has been SO bad (and my life even more casual than usual) so I pretty much can't wear them!! But I'm sure they will last and I'll be wearing them in future years, so all is not lost.

Isabel

Veteran

Karie, I think that doing what you do does fit your life. It is like guys who buy Carhartt's to work in. They would never go to work in a suit ! LOL

Suze, you bring up a point that sometimes I beat myself up over : not being realistic about my real life. I blame it on reading Vogue for a while. They would have ladies in ball gown, riding horses to herd sheep. I BELIEVED that ! OMG.... and for some reason, I believed that where you should spend your money was on special, beautiful things what you would wear once or twice for special occasions. I call it the wedding dress syndrome ( a wedding dress makes sense, but not a Marc Jacobs lightweight "topper" in animal print that doesn't really fit one's life or seasonal needs ). And yes, life changes are hard for me. When I left my corporate job, I was just LOST. Just like the people on the t.v. show. It was soooo disorienting. : )

shedev

Veteran

I really dislike those must have lists. For me they are more like orphans lists. I'm not even remotely tempted to buy a tan trench. When I figured out that I should just buy the stuff I actually wear, I stopped buying heels and started buying boots. Maybe a pair or two of heeled boots.

Anonymous

Your post is very interesting.

I want to start with lesson one: classics should be your classics, not someone else's. Over the years, I bought every single wardrobe planning book ever written. I studied each and every list and I filled in wardrobe gaps accordingly. Didn't work. Like you said, they were someone else's list. They worked for someone else. Using this strategy, I still didn't have a workable wardrobe despite what the books told me "should" have worked.

Lesson two: if you are going to buy an expensive piece, make it work for you. Many failures here too.

The problem was that I didn't really understand the concept of my lifestyle versus that of someone else's or a fantasy lifestyle. I had to learn to evaluate my actual wardrobe needs in terms of my actual lifestyle (i.e., work, casual, lounging, casual, event). I evaluated what I did during the day in terms of percentage of hours. I then broke out which clothing categories I needed the most to the least. This was both enlightening and heartbreaking. Unwittingly, I had been making purchases all along for a lifestyle I did not live (based on what the magazines seemed to be telling me).

I still make mistakes, but a lot fewer. I focus my spending on items I will use and I spend money (just like you) on those items that bring me the most wear/happiness. Oddly enough, these seem to be black slacks, purses, and shoes. I never seem to regret money spent on any of these categories. In terms of cost per wear, they are always winners.

Sorry for the long post.

Isabel

Veteran

Gabrielle, please, no need for apologies. I could have written your post ! I was like you, I bought every list, bought the items, then checked off. Or I would buy the book or list and then finish it and be left bitter. LOL ! I would think, how can I possibly afford a Burberry AND a Chanel bag AND a Hermes...like in Nina Garcia's 100 Things to Own. I wouldn't particularly LIKE everything..but I blamed MY LIFE instead of realizing that it WAS someone else's list.

It wasn't until I came to YLF that I realized there is a difference between aspiration and inspiration. So many of these books and magazines were about aspiration. But I didn't aspire to live like the "rich" or the "stars". Yet I thought that was how I should aim to dress. But what keeps us from really being ourselves ? I had no idea how to look at something and NOT copy it item for item. I have learned so much here. And I have to say that MaryK in particular has really shown me how to be inspired and translate that into a workable outfit for one's life.

XXXXXX

Catnip

Veteran

Wise advice, Isabel.

Why did I have to buy a Burberry trenchcoat to realize my waist is too short to wear coats with a belt? And why do I have a drawer full of expensive scarves bought in France that I never wear?

Isabel

Veteran

Catnip, ooooo, oooooo, I know, I know ( raising hand ). Because we were all told that we MUST in order to be stylish - they forgot to tell us that these are generalities and that we are individuals. : (

Mellllls

Veteran

I couldn't agree more. I have given up on cheap shoes. Just not worth it.