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ETA: Thanks for the wise advice! :) (In need of some moral support)

Irene

Veteran

So I finally found a job in London! Actually, a friend of mine found it for me. I'm a waitress at a café/restaurant (no chain) and I dislike it. Ok, I hate it. I've worked three full-time shifts so far (Thursday, Friday and Saturday). Today it's my day-off. Yet here's the thing: it doesn't get any better than this when it comes to hospitality jobs.
- Great schedule, the latest they close is 19h
- Very nice and supporting workmates (it's all boys so they treat me like a princess, and even though I have absolutely no experience they are patient and kind most of the time)
- Free food
- Nice customers
- Nice location, since it's in a very famous and pretty park in London

And yet I find it sooooo boring. I've been washing the dishes for the most part these past days, but they want me as a barista so hopefully that will be a bit more rewarding and entertaining, but...

I guess it's because I've always had 'qualified' jobs that required a lot of thinking from my part (teaching, writing books and working at a bank) that I'm just not used to repetitive work. I mean, even my 'qualified' jobs became boring for me after a while -yes, even the writing books thingy.

I'm so mad at myself for being such a sissy. Seriously, sooo many people work at these kind of places for months (and years) and it's really not the end of the world. I'll admit I don't really need a job (the money is more than welcome, obviously, but I still have savings to go for a while) so this might be one of the reasons I am even considering quitting.

I am applying for jobs within my field and hopefully it will happen eventually, but this new job is going to take a lot from my free time to actually work on cover letters, networking, blog writing, etc.

I guess maybe after one month of experience I could look for part-time somewhere else (they want full-time waiters here).

Sorry, I just needed to rant for a bit and hear from you that this too shall pass and that it's not the end of the world.

Plus, if any barista wants to give me advice on how to keep things interesting (I'm looking at you, Mo), please go ahead!

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41 replies

Latest reply was from Mo

crutcher

Veteran

I read your post twice and I honestly do not consider you a "sissy" but rather over-qualified for the job you have found...I guess I would ask myself "what was my motivation in taking the job to begin with?"...I also think you have not worked there long enough to really judge it...Maybe you need to give it more time?...
Just from what you have said, I guess I would give the job more of a chance...You never know where dead-end jobs will lead you...or who you will meet in the process...As you begin to work as a barista..maybe that will provide more interest than washing dishes...You just never know what you will find here in the days ahead..Please keep posting..your outcome is very interesting to me..Best!

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Irene :: let's put things into some perspective. It's a job. You needed one. For now a) it gets you out of the house, b) it brings income, c) you interact with the people on a daily basis. This is just generic stuff. The specifics, which are about pluses you mentioned, I'll leave for now.

I'm sure you're overqualified for what you're doing, but I don't think you should focus on qualifications accepts at all. Don't loose from sight that this is invaluable experience in the long run. You are getting to know the culture, mentality - or at least a section of it (sounds like your cafe covers niche market), you are not lonely.

I am not saying you should settle for something you don't feel is right, but - focus on what IS right in the circumstances. I hope others will read into a few more blessings you do have in the current situation and I think you'll see there is a lot to get out of bed for tomorrow morning.

So, run a tape in your head of what's good - seriously, just those 5 points above are mind-blowing. You got the full package. And by the sound of it, a lot of thinking time. Someone as creative and intelligent as yourself can make quite a lemonade from this lemon. If it's a lemon. I know that you know that people watching can be so fun and educational. And I can imagine a dinner in 10-15 years and Irene talking to her friends "I remember this one customer that came into a coffee shop I used to work at ...".

Kim

Veteran

Let's finish Irene's dinner story...Ornella started with:
"I remember this one customer that came into a coffee shop I used to work at ...".
Kim adds: "But he wasn't just any ordinary customer at all, he was actually the best friend of Prince Harry!..."

Over to you....

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I worked for years in this kind of job while I was a student (and I was a student for a long time.) Dishwasher/ server in a seniors' residence; waitress in a variety of places; retail sales; assistant in a grocery store. I recall being exhausted and irritated at times, (and also underpaid, sexually harassed, and exploited, which it does not sound like your issue in this place) and yes, I longed for more interesting, challenging work.

But on the other hand -- the people watching was great, my mind was free to do as it liked most of the time, I rarely took the job home with me (except for anxiety dreams about missing someone's order on a super busy night) and it paid my bills.

Whenever I felt particularly frustrated about the job I tried simply to be as present as possible. If I was scrubbing pots, I was going to do a bang-up job of pot-scrubbing. If I was stocking shelves before opening, I would sing while stocking shelves. The more attention we pay to mundane tasks and the better we try to perform them, the more reward we find within them.

Sometimes the reward can even have a monetary value. Because I took this approach in one of my seasonal retail jobs, people actually wrote to commend my service -- and the following season I got a big promotion and commission.

Another thing that could help is putting a time limit on it for yourself. Tell yourself you are going to stick with it for X months and if nothing has come up yet in your field, perhaps you will re-evaluate and find a different job elsewhere. For me, when I know that something difficult for me is limited in duration, I can bear it better.

I hope this doesn't come across as a "just suck it up" message. That's not at all what I mean. I actually think it's wonderful that you are so clear on what you want and what isn't working for you. And I think you've done a great thing in laying your impressions on the table. You've made it very clear how easy it would be to "should" yourself into bearing with this longer than might be ideal for you. Just because it's a good job of its kind doesn't mean it's a good job for you -- in the long run.

BUT -- you did say earlier you needed a job desperately. And I think working in some capacity is better than not working while you're looking for something in your field. Yes, it cuts a bit into your time, but it's not impossible to continue looking, and if it proves to be, well -- then you can quit in better conscience.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

(Storytelling in Italics, for those who want to play with Kim )

"As the only girl amongst staff at the moment, I got these amused looks form my co-workers who noticed that he noticed me, while my hands were deep in the soapy water. Talk about timing!"

Anonymous

I think you should stick it out. It's good experience for learning the local culture, and try not to worry that you aren't using your qualifications. Doing something well is a reward in itself, and once your body learns the rhythms your brain will be free to think and ponder.

I work with undergrads and one thing I have noticed in the last few years is that they give up too easily and denigrate jobs that they feel to be "below" themselves. But they won't even try to do them well. Personal fulfillment is over-emphasized I think today. It sounds like you have landed a perfect specimen job of its type!

You know this is temporary, so treat it as an assignment while you look for something longer term in your field. Try to see the pleasure and reward in simple tasks, it's like a walking meditation.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Ceit and Suz - keep this job awhile. Set a time limit, and look for something else you love better. Network. Twice in my life, I got a far-better paying job, while working a job I found unchallenging and unfulfilling.

Hang onto those savings as long as you can. This isn't a 'scare' story - but a cautionary tale: my former husband and I had built up a huge nest egg of savings (six figures) - and it disappeared fast when the recession hit, and he lost his job - because it seemed like everything piled on at once. You can never really know what is going to happen in your life, or what is around the corner, good or bad. I say keep the job, get a feel for London, make some contacts, and then, as Suz says, after a set period of time... move on

Laurinda

Veteran

Hugs, many of us have been there. Think of it as an interesting chapter for your memoir.

Ornella: I remember this one customer that came into a coffee shop I used to work at ...

Kim: But he wasn't just any ordinary customer at all, he was actually the best friend of Prince Harry!...

Ornella: As the only girl amongst staff at the moment, I got these amused looks form my co-workers who noticed that he noticed me, while my hands were deep in the soapy water. Talk about timing!

Laurinda: We got to chatting, and he invited me to a little cocktail party he was throwing...

ironkurtin

Veteran

Into every life a crappy job must fall. Think of it as a mental exercise and a way to develop personal zen. It will give you resources for later life (even if a royal never even breathes your restaurant air). Also, music always helps.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Irene, we've all done this. (And the comments here prove that). I waitressed for years twice a week as a student for extra money. I started off working in a factory after all my tertiary education. These jobs are part of being responsible and grown up. It's a means to an ends until you find something else. Hang in there, stick it out, and look harder for something else. You can do this.

You'll look back on this job next year and laugh. It's temporary, and things will work out. xo

Carla

Veteran

It is always easier to find a job, when you've got a job. Others here have all provided excellent advice. With discipline and time management, you can fit in the other activities you list, and your new co-workers may very well develop into a circle of friends. This type of work is a right of passage!

" I accepted. Whatever am I going to wear?"

Irene

Veteran

Thanks all

This is really hard for me, I think it's because I didn't experience these type of experiences when I actually had to (early adulthood) that now I'm just not used to this idea. And it's not like I'm that young anymore. But you're right that it gets me out of the house and pays my bills. Life is hard. As I said, I am too much of a sissy.

rabbit

Veteran

Not much to add, I've had these jobs - movie theater concessionaire, dishwasher and server at a cafeteria, receptionist and switchboard operator, door to door canvasser, re-shelver at a library, litter scooper at a cat shelter, cashier at a video rental store (actually, that was the best job ever) throughout all my teenage and college years and in between other jobs in more recent years. Sometimes I've enjoyed it far more than a job I was 'qualified' for.

The spiritual approach to it is work is work and service is service and it all has dignity, you can meditate chopping wood, ironing or washing dishes as long as you are in the moment and focused on offering your best to the task at hand.

You also get to know interesting people with varied stories and backgrounds whose lives you might never have intersected with in other ways, and your mind is often free to wander once you are into a rhythm. With some work (if it's after hours or something) you can listen to music or books or pod-casts on your ipod. I worked in one kitchen where everyone sung while chopping the food so that the good energy would go into the cooking. It was GREAT food.

kkards

Veteran

Ornella: I remember this one customer that came into a coffee shop I used to work at ...
Kim: But he wasn't just any ordinary customer at all, he was actually the best friend of Prince Harry!...
Ornella: As the only girl amongst staff at the moment, I got these amused looks form my co-workers who noticed that he noticed me, while my hands were deep in the soapy water. Talk about timing!
Laurinda: We got to chatting, and he invited me to a little cocktail party he was throwing...
Runclara:" I accepted. Whatever am I going to wear?"
Kkards: off to post an urgent request to my friends at you look fab....

Seriously , you never know where one job will lead you. This isn't the end, it's not even the beginning, it's just a step forward. Hang in there.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I have had all sorts of crappy jobs to pay the bills. I've written parking tickets on campus, slung pizza, flipped burgers, catering, bartending. Numerous temp office jobs.
In some ways food service is less soul sucking than a lot of office jobs. I would rather be a barista than filing all day.
This actually sounds decent. Plus free food will help you save money.

claracluck

sorry I think your lucky to get a job at all in London when theres probably ten people who would kill for it, just saying...........

Irene

Veteran

Haha, love your little stories about my fictional life!

Clara, while you are right that it is damn hard to find a job in London right now, and that I should feel lucky, it is also true that I came here to build a career in what I have studied and worked hard for. Yes, I know, sometimes there are rough patches in life, but I reaally don't want (and don't have) to settle for something I don't like (yet). I don't have children, I'm not in a serious relationship and I don't have that many responsabilities. I'm from Spain, there are NO JOBS there, but that's not why I came here. I came here because I've always wanted to and because here is where the industry I want to work in is biggest (and NYC). The Spanish recession never affected me, and I could easily go back to Barcelona and get a better-paid job there (that wouldn't make me happy either). So, I didn't come here for work (any work, I mean), for survival. I came here because I want to give my dream a go.

That said, I'll suck it up and write a novel on my experiences as a tremendously clumsy barista. It will be a hit, I'm telling you.

claracluck

yes first world problems are difficult .

Irene

Veteran

Well, huh, wow. I'm sorry for being a frivolous ambitious brat who doesn't want to do just about anything after studying hard for six years, interning for nine months and working very underpaid for eight months. I've invested too much money and time on this to feel good about settling for something not quite. Will I work as whatever for a while because I actually believe it can be a good personal experience that will toughen me up and from which I will learn a lot? Absolutely. But don't expect me to feel grateful to have any job just because things are rough right now. We all take things for granted on our daily routines -at least those who have enough to be able to participate on fashion forums and pay for the internet needed to do that- and that's completely natural. I started working at 18 and haven't been unemployed for more than three months in a row. Ever. Yes, I've always taken work -and good working conditions- for granted, I guess I've been lucky in that sense. I don't take payment for granted though, but that's another story.

I find it ironic that you mention 'first world problems' in a fashion forums where we ask about which bag would suit our outfit better as if our lives depended upon that.

Anyways, I've been told too many times that I don't deserve this, shouldn't expect that or might as well just accept things as they are. And I've decided I'm not having any more of that, so this is all I have to say on this matter. I love myself enough to know I deserve something that makes me happy in the long run. Period.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Technically, claracluck this entire forum is first world problems, but yeah ok.

Anyways, Irene. My major concern is that at least in NYC, the publishing world is shrinking. Magazines sales are dropping, books are difficult. But I understand that you have to at least try.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I'm with Irene. Asking for help and surmounting obstacles is both hard and necessary no matter what world we live in. Belittling someone's struggles because they aren't as horrible as someone else's? Not helpful.

DonnaF

Veteran

I don't think anyone has suggested that you stay at this job for the long haul and/or give up your dreams. You have been very, very fortunate that your prior jobs have been pretty good; as you can see, most of us have not been that lucky. It sounds good that you will be moving quickly to the front of the house; meeting customers may lead to your dream job. You never know who that customer may know or have gone to school with, etc.! Plus, they may be more willing to interact with you since you are not a native Londoner. Your schedule leaves you three days for interviews which I imagine would be sufficiently flexible for most prospective employers. . .

Echo

Veteran

Although you are over-qualified for this job, I agree that it not only pays the bills (not that that is a pressing need right now), but it gets you into contact with other people. I've done some of my most important networking in service-related jobs.

But the point I really wanted to make was that I think a person needs to give a job at least a few weeks an maybe even a few months before they decide to leave. That is, unless there are horrible working conditions or illegal activities or abusive situations, etc. There have been jobs I thought I hated until I was there for a while and got to know my coworkers better. I had a job driving pizzas while in University, and I despised that job for a long time. And now I look back on it fondly for all the people I met and experiences I had.

So no one can say that you should or should not stay at this job; only you can make the right choice for you. I just think you should give it a fair shake before you leave, especially given the benefits of the job. Stay for a while and then think about whether you would miss it if you left - your answer might surprise you. You will find a job in your area that is a better fit, but until then, the one you have might not be so bad.

Anonymous

My crappy job was cutting up chickens, hundreds of them. Then there was selling encyclopedias door to door. Think of yourself as doing research for a book. Everyone has a story and you may want to start collecting them. If nothing else you'll have some good stories to entertain your friends and family. Later in life you may look back fondly at this experience.

Gigi

Veteran

I admire you, Irene, for daring to go to London to pursue your career choice!

I once had a job cleaning apartments. It was extremely hard work (like what you have described) and left me exhausted. At first I thought that it should be a nice change and I could give my brain a rest, since I was always in intellectual fields before. So this was an eye-opener for me, that working a job for which I am overqualified is NOT relaxing! I gained a lot of self-knowledge from it, and when my friends now say that they are tired of their stressful desk jobs and want to work as a stocker at Target, I tell them that they can try, but they will not be happy there! Of course, they don't believe me. That may be one silver lining to this job: you now know *for sure* that you will never be satisfied with a job that doesn't require a lot of you intellectually.

I know that you are not saying that you are "above" this job. You are just saying that it is eminently not suited to your personality and training. I never did learn to enjoy my job cleaning the apartments. I eventually quit—it was taking a toll on my health (I was developing eczema). But to be honest, I really needed to let it go anyway, as it wasn't doing anything for my emotional health. Hopefully, as you get more familiar with the co-workers and the area and the city, the work will seem less unbearable, and you will be able to stick it out until something more suitable comes along.

I went back to an old post of yours and saw that you are looking for work in publishing, but you think perhaps they don't want you because you are not a native speaker of English. Have you looked for jobs that are called "production editor"? Those jobs are more geared toward managing a project (i.e., overseeing the steps but not actually doing the steps yourself) from manuscript to finished book, so the nonnative speaker thing might not be as big a deal. Working as a production editor can be very helpful, because you get to see each of the steps in creating a book. Many people move on from there to a more specialized area (I was a production editor for years but now am a copyeditor), but at that point you will have some experience that will help you.

Glory

Veteran

It is horrible when you hate the daily job! I would consider putting some time frames around it - that often helps me. Once you have the barista job perhaps work at it for a couple of months to see if it might bridge the gap for you.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I've certainly had my share of crappy jobs back in the early days. I think the worst ones were the ones that felt mind numbingly boring and where I spent too much time alone (imagine working alone in the office as a leasing agent for a huge nearly empty new apartment complex on the edge of a very large metro city). It wasn't just boring, it was scary too. But many jobs can become pretty boring after doing them long enough.

If I didn't really *need* a job and it was making me feel really bad, I might move on myself. But I thought originally you did say you really "needed" to find a job. I guess I think of the employer and wonder is it really fair to hold onto a job you don't want when they could be training someone who might have a dream of working in a café. But then again, if you need to be working - and you are doing the job well enough, maybe stick it out for a bit longer to see where your mind leads...

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure I'm the one to offer any insight. I actually enjoy the bartending job 90% of the time. Sure, it has it's drawbacks, but I've been a deskbound office worker and that was so much more mind numbing than I could have ever imagined. And not moving my body physically was a huge, huge drawback.
I was the honor roll student with the very high IQ, won the spelling bee, did 12th year math in 9th, etc, etc. But I never went on to higher education. I did not have a clear goal as to what I was going to school for, and I do not enjoy the busywork of the education system. I love to learn. But papers and homework and in particular any 'group' assignments leave me cold. It's not that I'm lazy. It bores me.
Anyway, all that to say that intellectually I am probably what most would consider 'above' waitressing. But I have to tell you, just a month before I moved back to FL this last time, I had 2 guys at my bar for hours. One was a college professor. We talked for hours. About everything. It was great. And I got paid to do it! The job is more than serving. It is interacting with others, studying human nature, making connections in your community, even. I met my BF of 14 years at work, actually. Best connection I ever made!
Speaking of, he started working at the bar with me about 5 years into us dating. He would leave his 6 figure 'real' job here in FL to make waiter's wages. How did he reconcile it? By doing the best he could at it. Highest sales. Upselling. Remembering what people drank who he hadn't seen in a year since their last vacation to Tahoe. And as a man in his 50's I'm sure the 'what is he doing this for?' question comes into play.
Lastly, after time, it became more than a job. It's a second family. There is a unique bonding of working with others in such a high stress environment. I left my 4 year, secure, office job with a fortune 500 company with benefits on purpose to become a waitress when I was 22. Never looked back. It was the best choice for me.
I would get the most out of it personally that you can and maybe you will meet someone that can help you along in your chosen career path. It is after all, free networking if you think about it.

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. I think you should stick it out. Also, I like Ornella's A, B, and C.

I have two jobs - one that requires a degree (technical writer) and one that doesn't (baker) - although admittedly they're both professions. Anyways, I suggest to you that sustaining interest and staying awake is a skill. Jobs don't keep you alert; you keep yourself going. And this is your opportunity to develop this skill.

Also, I must be lovingly blunt. I doubt you're overqualified for dishwashing. You've only been on the job a few days. If you're bored, you probably aren't doing the job. There are many things you're not doing or not doing very well. With the dishwashing: Do you know the safety and health rules? Are you following them? How do you mix sanitizing water? How long is it good for? What temperature should the water be? Do you know the proper procedure and setup of the sinks? Do you know how to restart the water heater? Do you have the timing correct? In what order should dishes be washed? Have you cleaned the underside of the sinks? Have you cleaned the bathrooms? Have you replaced the soap and towels for the hand sinks? Is the floor around your sink dry?

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