Imogen's posts on breasts, body image, and reductions - YouLookFab Forum

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Imogen's posts on breasts, body image, and reductions

Kari

Veteran

Imogen had a very interesting post recently (on InsideOutStyle about breasts and the female body image, particularly from the perspective of being a large-busted woman who is considering a reduction. I found it a very interesting and thought-provoking read.

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......easts.html

My bust is quite large as well (these days, around a 32G/H) but I'm very very fortunate not to have pain and discomfort from them - unless I'm wearing a bra that doesn't fit! My back doesn't hurt, and my posture is pretty good (probably a legacy from a decade playing the flute - you have to have good posture to breathe properly!) Also, while I do need the support of a good undergarment, my breasts are in reasonably good shape right now. So surgery is not on my radar. Despite the inconvenience of finding bras and clothing to accomodate my bustline, I actually do like my hourglass shape, and (at the risk of sharing TMI) I also like that my partner really likes this aspect of the way I look.

However, I realize that not everyone with a large bustline is able to avoid pain - and I'm also young, so this could change in the future.
So that being said, I reserve the right to change my mind about the surgery issue in the future depending on my comfort level. I had friends in college who had reductions that they were thrilled with due to the freedom to move (and run) comfortably for the first time in years.

Imogen's comments about breast size - and breast cancer - also struck a chord with me. Two of my close relatives battled breast cancer - my grandma had a full mastectomy and reconstruction when I was quite young. We've determined that my sister and I are not at a genetic risk for breast cancer any more than other women in the general public; however, the fact that it runs strongly in my family makes me wonder what I'd choose to do if it ever happens to me, and how I'd re-adjust my perception of my figure/body image.

Anyway, her post is well worth a read if you're interested.

(ETA: And for another good read, here's the article on Mamamia that Imogen referenced in her blog: http://www.mamamia.com.au/soci.....eductions/)

Body Type

35 replies

Latest reply was from

Beth Ann

Veteran

Kari: You posture is beautiful, and as a singer and voice teacher, I noticed! It makes sense now that I know you play the flute (I played for many years). Can't makes those long phrases if the ribs collapse, can you? I also read Imogen's post and found it quite interesting.

Kari

Veteran

Thank you, Beth Ann! I don't *really* play much anymore (living in an apartment, busy, and my nice flute lives with my parents) but I played consistently (on a near-daily basis) until my last year of college. I never would have thought of good posture as being a long-term benefit of being a wind or vocal musician, but I think those good habits can stick with us.

catgirl

Veteran

I had a breast reduction 5 years ago and it was the best decision ever. I was lucky to have a great doctor and quick, easy recovery. Because it was clear weight loss was not an option for reducing my size, my insurance paid for it with no argument. Especially after the birth of my son, I grew in cup size; I was in pain and had a hard time running, not to mention bad posture. I would have gone even smaller, but there was a remote possibility of a second child and I wanted to have a chance at nursing. Now I wish I'd gone down to a B cup!

If anyone wants to discuss it, I'm happy to drone on. I don't consider it cosmetic surgery because it was affecting my health and ability to function, but even if other people think it was shallow, I honestly don't even care.

Kari

Veteran

Yeah, Una, that's exactly the situation that would make me consider reducing, and that was the same situation that the other women I knew were in. Ouch! I'm pretty squeamish myself about going under the knife, though, so I think it would have to take something pretty significant for me to do so. Knock on wood, hopefully I'll be trouble free for a while yet.

christieanne

Veteran

I would consider it (G cup as well - it's far bigger than is comfortable).

A few years back - maybe 10 - I went to a new Nurse Practicioner for a well women/pap type exam. The very first thing she said to me (I am sitting on table in drapey gown thingy) was "if you want a breast reduction ever, let me know and I will sign off on it". I just thought that was weird. But as the years progressed, I have thought about more.

My mom had breast cancer 5 yrs ago. I have had two mammograms with such inclusive reads that they had to do ultrasounds and now that will be my norm as the technicians and dr said it's a safer way to get a reading with my size. That is scary.

I hate surgery having undergone three fairly recently for bone breaks and hamstring tear but yes, withing next few years, I will consider . I don't think husband will care - he just likes a healthy natural look and is very practical.

Good to know you have undergone this Una - thanks for sharing!

bj1111

Veteran

hands down, every woman i've met who had this procedure expressed only satisfaction and relief. any regret was due to having waited so long.

not advocating, just throwing in my two cents.

i love my breasts. i enjoy them, named them, generally am pleased with them. but i would have no trouble removing them if my health were at stake. for me, the question would be to reconstruct or not.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Believe you me, I've considered it ever since I went from a B to an F in my 20s... and then developed a dowager's hump because it made me self-conscious enough to hunch all the time and getting the right bra used to be an impossibly difficult ask.

Three things held me back, and two of those practical issues: Unlike Una, I *can* (and should) lose some weight before I know what my 'real' minimum size is; and I really can't afford it. The third reason is partly psychological --- I'm not in any pain, no family medical history to cause special concer, and really, they wouldn't get in my way, so to speak, if I got over my self-consciousness. So I decided to try and win *that* battle first, especially now that finding a decent jiggle-dampening bra is actually a possibility around here.

Kari

Veteran

Yeah, BJ, I wonder about that too. Being a busty, curvaceous woman, while not integral to my personality exactly, is very part of my style identity. I wouldn't have qualms about removing *anything* that would be a major risk to my health - honestly, I think if it had been determined that our family carried the BRCA genes, I'd consider it, though It would be a real mental adjustment to get used to a body with no breasts at all, or breasts that were much smaller. (Fortunately, we haven't detected any known genetic risks in spite of the family history.)

But on the flip side, reconstruction isn't perfect either. I know my grandma had to get hers re-done at least once (due to the length of time that had spanned since the original surgery.)

I'm also thinking of a woman that I knew in church in college who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She wanted to make sure that people knew about her diagnosis and that she was going to be going through a mastectomy, but said "But it's all good - my husband's really more of a leg man." She reminded me a lot of my grandma, actually, in that she kept a very positive attitude and was even able to see some humor in a very scary situation.

Kari

Veteran

ManidipaM, I'm by no means an expert, but I'm happy to share recommendations of bras that worked for me if you are looking for ideas to try. I've had great luck with Chantelle in recent years. (Unfortunately, they don't come cheap - but I watch for sales!)

bj1111

Veteran

awesome granny...more of a leg man!

lucky for both of us the question is hypothetical...besides, what people really do in the moment rarely resembles the decision made in the pretend. even among rational thoughtful people, one of. which i consider you to be.

jumpingfrog

I have thought of reduction surgery a few times too. Now that I'm nearing menopause and have finished having children, I've found my size has gone down a little. Losing weight helped too. Like MandipaM said, I used to be self conscious and hunch over a lot. I have been doing yoga for 10 years now, and my posture has improved, but I still find myself slouching quite a bit. Hearing about other women that are happy with their reduction has me thinking about it again. Off to read that link now.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Kari, thanks! I've had Chantelle recommended a couple of times before too. I do keep an eye out, though they aren't common in my neck of the woods and the options pretty limited. For now, I'm finding the really built-up-with-3/4-hooks sports-type bra is my best option for everyday --- even basic Jockeys. I lucked out with a couple of special-occasion bras from the leftover 'odd sizes' rack at M&S as well. But it's always good to have an eye out for new brands, since these just aren't reliably found in stores here yet.

Jumpingfrog, I realized over time that my self-consciousness was often a defense mechanism against, well, creeps! That I myself had no issues with my size. Would you agree? Do you feel comfortable with your size *yourself*? Because if you aren't, I guess there is serious room for consideration. On the other hand, if you *are* personally fine with your largesse, I'd say the first order of business may be silencing that voice in your head and reminding yourself that 'their' problem with your body is *their problem*. For me, it's become a habit to hunch at times, but I do keep reminding myself.

Claudia

Veteran

Thanks for the link, Kari. I can so relate. I am a 34.5 G (which makes me between bra sizes, an added pain in getting a great fitting bra. The 34s can be hard to hook close and the 36s become too loose pretty quickly as the elastic fabric relaxes after a few wears).

I have always longed for and admired small busted women for their looks, clothing choices, comfort, and their ease of athletic/physical opportunities and would have loved a reduction, but at 50 yr will most likely never get one.

I have also known several women that have had reductions and every one of them has never regretted doing this surgery.

Growing up with a big bust was difficult emotionally, too. I grew up with just brothers and my older brother tormented me by constantly mocking and drawing attention to my chest, especially in front of his friends. They'd get footballs and basketballs and walk around with them under their shirts. Adolescent teasing, but it was horrible for me and my body image. My mom is a pretty pear with a lovely modest chest and so is my daughter. So this has been an issue I felt very alone in in my family.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I'm a 36B - well, ok, one side is a B and the other is tipping C - and I actually considered reduction/lift on the C side just because - well, just because then they would both be perky! Then I looked online and realized it was a major surgery and I was being disgustingly, revoltingly vain. So now I live with perky and droopy and tell my husband he's lucky. Because one side may be pretty, but the other one is FRIENDLY!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That was a good blog post, Kari. So many things to think about.

Obviously, I cannot personally comment on what it is like to have a large bustline. But I work with clients and have friends/family who have had reductions, inserts and mastectomies. I am grateful for this exposure and can very generally sum up their feelings:

- All breast reduction candidates have been more than thrilled with the results. Truly, they regard it as a very positive experience. None of them actually look small or regular busted, and in fact they still have a sizeable bust after the reduction.

- Dealing with a mastectomy means lots of soul searching. There is all sorts of underwear available to balance out proportions and Nordstrom actually specializes in this - if you want to go down that road. Not all people do, but you have the option.

Without question, I would personally have a mastectomy if my health was at risk. Having seen my Mum go through cancer (liver, not breast), it is an insanely cruel disease. Getting rid of the cancer is the only solution, even if it means that you sacrifice aesthetics.

ManidipaM

Veteran

IK: I cannot stop giggling now. And my poor SO is trying to serve dinner --- the spaghetti mounds keep setting me off...! Oh dear! ::snort::

Mochi

Veteran

I hesitate to even join this discussion, because I'm coming from a more negative point of view here, but I'm always surprised to read how overwhelmingly positive people's experiences of BR has been. I mean, of course I'm glad that it's been good for other women and I'm not wishing otherwise. I just mean that I've been fairly disappointed with my experience. I had it done very early, at age 16, and I was pretty huge before that, and while he definitely made them smaller, I never felt like they were small enough. In fact, in college my then-best friend (who didn't know that I had had a BR) commented one time that I might want to consider getting one! I was secretly crushed, but didn't say anything. And at that time, I was maybe 15 lbs over my ideal weight (now I'm closer to 40 or perhaps 50). No matter what, they were just going to be really big.

I know I see women out there who are much bigger than me, which makes me sad. It looks so uncomfortable. I'm still dealing with physical discomfort sometimes, though not major and it's mostly that they're just bulky! And nothing fits well. As I've mentioned here, I have such a hard time finding things to fit me well, apart from knits like t-shirts. Combine that challenge with being a petite size, and it's even more difficult.

Mostly, I'm just disappointed because I'm short and otherwise small-framed. If I were a statuesque gal like Christina Hendricks, sure, having a large bust would look fine. (Even then, I'm sure it's inconvenient for her in lots of ways....) And yesterday when I was in Pilates class, the teacher had us doing a move where we had to press our forearms together in front of us from hand to elbow, and of course due to my short arms and huge chest, I was the only one who couldn't do it.

I am disappointed that I went through major surgery, got scars, lost sensitivity, the ability to breastfeed, and they're still enormous. I get men looking at them on the street all the time.

When someone here on YLF recently linked to these busty girl comics, I ended up commenting on there about my own experiences. One woman replied to me that she had had an almost-identical experience, having a BR at age 16--no pregnancy or weight gain, but her breasts reverted back to their original size some years after the surgery. She said maybe they would have ended up even bigger if she'd never had it done...anyway, I was glad someone else was out there who wasn't drop-dead thrilled with the results, so I didn't have to feel as if something was wrong with me for not being happy about it.

I can and probably will consider getting it done again (I know one other woman who did--she's happy with them now). But I'd have to be within 20 lbs of my ideal weight, so for now I'll just deal with what I have, and try and accommodate what is definitely a challenge.

To be honest, I'm glad they're healthy, but it's hard for me to feel positive about them.

Jem

Veteran

I wan'ted to chime in because I was high risk for breast cancer, too. I was never tested for the gene mutation because my doctor said that they don't know all of them anyway, and even if I tested negative, it wouldn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't get it. It caused me endless distress, so I was one of those who had a preventative mastectomy. It wasn't easy and was an agonizing decision and it took me a few years to make it, but I'm glad I did it. Reconstruction isn't the same as the original (not to be confused with enhancements or reductions with out a mastectomy), but there are benefits and the lack or worry is definitely worth it! If someone has more questions about it, I'd be happy to talk to them, btw.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Mochi, I really enjoyed your perspective and thank you for your courage and time. I wonder whether BR ops have improved over the years? I have seen less than hairline scars on 95% of the women (one had sizeable scars and she had her BR done in 1983). Anyway, I'm sending over virtual hugs because you are uber fab, and so is your healthy bosom.

Jem, wow! Thanks for speaking up. I very much appreciate that you did. Knowledge is power.

christieanne

Veteran

Thanks Jem for sharing with us. My sister and I have not had the genetic testing as dr.s have advised that since there are so many unknowns and variables that they didn't recommend it.

My own mother decided to forgo reconstruction as she thought it was a vanity thing (and she thought being 67 that she had no reason to - certainly a very personal decision). My MIL had reconstruction after her surgery but I am not close enough to her to ask any questions as she and my DH aren't on good terms.

I appreciate the thoughts you all have shared here so much! All the perspectives are something to consider (Moochi - it's good to hear yours for sure) before considering a major change like this.

Mochi

Veteran

I'm sure it's improved over the years. (I think I had mine done around 1980.) My scars are definitely not hairline and I've seen much smaller scars on other women. In some ways I wish I had waited till I was older and could have been much more savvy about questioning the doctor. At that young age I was mortified about the whole thing and wanted him to just take care of it. On the other hand, I was already pretty abnormally sized (think older women who are really saggy), so to just put up with that would have been less than optimal. I guess I was stuck with a really bad situation.

jumpingfrog

Mochi, I'm sorry to read your reduction didn't quite get the results you were hoping for. I do think ManidipaM is right, that the slouching is a defence against "creeps". Having men talk to me while looking at my bust used to bother me a lot. I do feel better about my size now, I have gone from a G cup to a DD. Finding bras in my town to fit me used to be so difficult, I only found one place that carried my size and could fit me. It was quite expensive though, and I shuddered at forking over that kind of money at the time. Actually, I should go back to a proper lingerie store and get fitted again, it's been quite a few years since I have. Maybe I'll do a trip to Seattle this summer and book a fitting somewhere there. What bothers me more now is how the girls have lost their firmness, and gravity has really affected them. Having lost weight and learning to dress for my figure have made a huge difference in my confidence. I'm still learning, this site has been so fantastic.

Jem

Veteran

Sorry you had a bad experince Mochi! That must have been really hard to go through that when you were so young. I'm sure there have been improvements since you had your surgery, but it does also depend on the surgeon for sure. I know what there are simpler ways to go through the surgeries I had (it took 3) and improvements even since I had mine done a few years ago. I'm just glad it's done.

teeandcee

Mine are larger only due to weight gain so I know as I lose my weight they'll shrink back to a comfortable size (well, I hope so). I do have back pain from them and wouldn't hesitate to get surgery if this size was a permanent thing. In addition to their just being so uncomfortable with crossing my arms, lying on my side or stomach while sleeping, trying to eat without dipping them, jiggling, etc. Meh.

catgirl

Veteran

Mochi, I am sorry to hear of your experience and I know it is not an anamoly... I'd feel frustrated about that too. I've read that BR at a young age can end up not "taking" over the long term due to body changes, pregnancy, hormones, etc.

I had never even considered it until I was 38, though I hated the whole issue of dealing with supportive bras, never feeling comfortable in the nude, and general self-consciousness. Getting even bigger after having my son was what sent me over the edge. I'm lucky to have had little scarring but I do have some loss of sensation, but I know there are substantial risks and lots of possible complications.

I have never looked at your photos and noticed your boobs, if that matters!

Mochi

Veteran

No worries, Una. I actually quickly googled "second breast reduction" yesterday and found a lot of my people, LOL. It is weird, there were pics of women who were definitely not overweight who had gotten big again, but also many of the women just were not listened to by their surgeons in the first place (re what size they wanted to end up), even having done the BR as adults. It's pretty sad. I am going to keep the option for a second operation in the background--again, it would have to be reconsidered after losing another 20 pounds at least.

I am not sure how you don't see the hugeness, but then again we all focus on perceived flaws around our own body parts much more than other people do, for sure......but still, I am very big and they do get in the way, and right now I'm feeling annoyed about these underwires. Well, at least I am otherwise fit and healthy.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Mochi, I know it's hard to hug with big girls, but I want to offer you one anyway.

I know the yoga issues (I've NEVER managed the backward plough and I'm rather limber on the whole), and I know the never comfy in the nude issue that Una mentions too. Weird, isn't it? It's not even a body image thing, but a physical comfort one. The busty comics did make me laugh --- but it's so hard to find night clothes I'm comfy in! Harder than a bra shopping expedition at at times.

Elly

Veteran

I'm a 30 GG--- perhaps it is because I'm only a 30 band size or because I'm a decently large person otherwise (5'8", ect) that I've never considered myself large busted. I didn't have most of the busty girl problems, but then I was a gymnast (strong, good posture), never was self conscious about my chest, and have really long arms and good awareness of where my body is.

Finding bras is painful, and it is uncomfortable to wear compression sports bras or go without a bra when out of bed. Not being able to find a bra that fits good and is comfortable is my biggest complaint-- I've never been uncomfortable before, despite being busty my whole life, but have been for the last year or two not being able to find something comfortable and supportive. When I do have decent bras I'm ok.

I also am uncomfortable in PJs without a bra (not around significant others, but around male family, roomates, ppl I'm staying with). Swimsuits are another thing that is hard.

I got teased in hs and college for wearing "grandma bras" and dressing matronly because I couldn't find other clothing to fit with my limited shopping and budget and desire to be somewhat covered up, since what my friends were wearing looked really trashy on curvy me.

That said, if I ever got a reduction i'd just have a big ass! Luckily there is no breast cancer in my family.

Claudia

Veteran

Do any of you use a sleeping bra? I discovered these when they were recommended to me when I was pregnant. I wish I had known about them before then -- and have worn them ever since. They are inexpensive and great for sleeping and wearing under sleep/leisure wear.

Very comfy and gives enough gentle support without feeling like our usual, structured, heavy duty underwire bras.
http://www.barenecessities.com.....erralID=NA

You can also find them under "nursing bras" as well as "sleeping bras."

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