I'm struggling with my shoe preferences... - YouLookFab Forum

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I'm struggling with my shoe preferences...

catgirl

Veteran

In looking for summer shoes, I've realized I have EXTREMELY strong opinions about shoes in general, and there are very few that I like. Maybe I'm missing the part of my brain that reacts to shoes - because even my least fashionable girlfriends will ooh and aah over a pretty pair of pumps. Meanwhile I'm the one who's off looking at Dr. Martens or boots.

I don't like the way my foot looks or feels in a classic pump (the vamp tends to be too low for me), and of all the things that make me feel too girly and out of my comfort zone, it's a pair of feminine spike heels. I also don't like ballet flats or anything too tapered or conversely too round at the toe. It's partly comfort but more aesthetics. It reminds me of how my husband loves Corvettes, and I think they're kind of weird and predatory-looking.

This leaves me with square-toed chunky heels, platforms, clogs and wedges for summer. And boots, of course. And I am having a hard time finding anything that works for my needs within those constraints.

This is not to say I don't admire fancy shoes on all of you - I just don't have the fever myself. If I had my way I'd wear my black Danskos with everything. And yet I recognize that I need a little more diversity than that if I'm going to strive for fabulousness.

Am I alone? Or is there a certain kind of wardrobe item that just doesn't interest you?

General

35 replies

Latest reply was from Sally

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I do like shoes, but I have very similar preferences to yours. I don't have a whole lot of interest in handbags other than from a practical standpoint.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I sympathise.

For me, it's bags.

It's not that I don't use one. Of course I do. How could I not?

But I don't tend to like a lot of bags I see. I often find them too fussy, or too big for my petite frame, or not big enough to hold the stuff I like to carry. And then the cost!! I can hardly believe what people will pay! I understand that if a bag is well-made and you like it, it can be a great investment. If I liked more bags, I might be more willing to invest!

In the past I tended to buy just one winter, and one summer bag, once every three or four years or so. I certainly wasn't helping the economy that way. And now that I am aspiring to fashion fabulousness, I see that I am going to have to make some serious changes to that habit! But it is going to be a real stretch for me. I would just as soon carry the small black messenger bag that sorts my stuff beautifully with every single outfit.

On the shoe question: I still think IN THEORY you have a fair amount of choice, with what you like, although I know that in practice things can get much stickier. Still, you could have a couple of different colours of wedge sandals for summer, at least? Maybe playing with colour and texture would give your outfits the extra punch they deserve? Thinking about that great skirt and jacket combo you posted...it deserves a nice looking shoe!

taylor

Veteran

No need to worry about your shoe preference .... boot type or chunky heels...this is your style, celebrate it...not everyone want/needs/looks good in girls, high heeled shoes.

I bet you will get some great suggestions from the many like minded women here...Khris wears your style and I often see her in cons for summer, and low heeled sandals.:)

catgirl

Veteran

Ah, handbags... I loved collecting handbags for a while, but have put a complete stop to it as I am way too lazy to switch them out in reality.

I could buy boots till I dropped, though - and I use them!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I am with you on the boots. I realized I have 17 pairs in heavy rotation in the winter, and I could think of a few wardrobe holes even with this seemingly ridiculous collection. I also struggled with my summer shoes. I've only worn black dansko sandals for the last 10 or so years. I love all my new variety this year but I definitely miss the comfort. They're out there, those shoes that will speak to you. Try things out of your comfort zone, you might be surprised with what you find. How long is your summer season? How many pairs of sandals do you need? You may find that you only need light and dark sandals and it is enough for your climate.

Kristine

Veteran

I have next to zero interest in bags. I bought a nice bag to carry to work, but only because a backpack wasn't working for my image. I have 2-3 purses and only haul them out once in a while.

I have strong opinions about shoes too. I've looked at thousands of pairs to find just one I like. Maybe mix up the places you're looking, sometimes a new website will expose you to brands you haven't discovered.

rosee

Veteran

I find I am very picky about the things I am attracted to in any clothing category. I love shoes, but I hate about 3/4 of the shoes I see in retail these days. I go for "formula" shoes that work for me: retro-looking maryjanes and t-straps with a thicker 2 to 3" heel, clogs, wedges, plain ballet flats (with a cushioned insole) and boots -- knee boots, "combat" boots and Blundstones. In each of these categories I am still particular about what I will actually buy, but when I see it -- I go and buy it, cost be damned!
With bags, they have to be aesthetically simple looking and uber-practical and purpose-serving: I now have 4 that I have acquired and these should last me for years. They have to be not too big, but big enough to carry my stuff and easy to wear and forget that I am wearing, if possible. I have 2 crossbody messengers, 1 large-strap tote, 1 hobo, all leather (most I bought heavily discounted).
My next big "acquire" category is jackets. I want good jackets for the smart casual formula Angie just posted in her blog. I have 2 in my closet (1 fits at the moment), and I need to fill this hole in my wardrobe.

Just my opinion, but I think you need nude or low-contrast classic-punky-style shoes for your summer shoes -- so maybe a more classic style with a more alternative shoe brand.

Jonesy

Veteran

Maybe I'm being obtuse, but could you just find a few pairs of summer booties and wear those with your summer looks (e.g., Frye Carson shorties in a color that works like a nude for you, link below)? You have a pretty cool summer, right? Maybe you are a boots and booties woman and that's just the way it is. The look would certainly go with your list of adjectives for describing your style.

http://www.endless.com/FRYE-Wo.....ce-fs-rank

rae

(website)

Veteran

Una, I am right there with you! I have a closet full of boots... and only four pairs of heels, three of which are the exact same black almond toe pumps (duplicated so they wear out slowly and I'm not forced to shop for shoes any time soon). I also seem to be patently disinterested in slacks, as I have two pairs -- again, both black -- as opposed to my pencil skirts, which seem to reproduce like tribbles.

I think Jonesy's idea for summer boots is spectacular - why fight what you like? Nude or nude-ish clogs or lace-up sandals, maybe?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Una, why don't you just wear the types of footwear that you like?

catgirl

Veteran

Angie, I generally do. But a number of outfits I've posted here recently have gotten comments that different shoes would be better, mostly vamp-related. I'm trying to figure out the difference between my comfort zone (which I'm willing to push) and my style zone. Do you think it's possible to have a killer outfit without the "right" shoes, or does that mean the whole outfit is not my style?

Mrseccentric really hit a chord with me when she said that style is as much about what you won't (or don't) wear as what you will.

taylor

Veteran

But don't comprimise who you are..THAT is style!
And your style is killer!

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm not a huge fan of ballet flats, either....or very thin spiky heels, for that matter. Neither one is edgy enough for me to love, although I don't hate them. It's just that they are both too traditionally feminine, and kind of conservative. I also think that heels (even high ones) look better when they are thicker. It looks more balanced.

Also, although I understand how low-vamp shoes make you legs look longer, I rarely get excited about them. They are usually too ho-hum. I prefer my pumps to have some kind of maryjane strap (as most Fluevogs do....and I think you share my love for them!) to add visual interest. The slight leg-shortening effect is a small price to pay for a way more fabulous shoe. The Malibran maryjane is a good example of my idea of a perfect heeled shoe: a cute blunt asymmetrical toe, crisscross straps, and medium-height, thick heel. You have them, yes?

As far as wardrobe items I have no interest in -- well, that would be rompers. And jumpsuits. There are also specific STYLES of other items that I strongly dislike (for example, any button-down blouse with ruffles or a big fat droopy bow), but I quite like other examples of that item (I like button-downs in general, just not the frilly ones).

catgirl

Veteran

Elizabeth, I have two pairs of Malibrans (red and cognac/brown).

I so wish you would post outfits, because I think you and I share some similarities in body type and style preferences (hope I'm not offending you by saying that...)!

Marley

Veteran

Dress slacks. Don't like them, never have. Own one pair of black trousers - yawners, couldn't care less if I never wear a pair of dress slacks again in my life!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Una, I totally think that you can find "your style of shoes" to wear with outfits that are more traditionally paired with pumps. In fact, have you checked out Dr. Marten heels? And the Malibans are perfect "pumps" for you!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I have negative feelings about a lot of shoe and clothing styles in general. I seem to have a particularly strong aversion to thin, spiky high heels. I have to admit, I hate pumps. The closest thing I have to pumps have a peep toe and more of a "v" look, making them retro looking.

But I love chunky platforms. And I think I'm the only one here who doesn't think there's anything wrong or ugly about flatforms.

I used to be a handbag freak, between 7-15 years ago. Lately, everything's so overdone. I am buying about one bag a year now, a lot less than I used to.

Louise

Veteran

Yay for Docs, I'm onto my second pair of boots now. Do check out their range of shoes they have some gorgeous heels but not too girly, sadly I can't, as the 7 is OK in boots but would fall off in shoes x

ETA http://www.drmartens.com/Produ.....8;type=All

san

Veteran

You know Una, you have the most beautiful shapely legs, which draws attention to your feet, but that doesn't mean that you should change you favorite style in shoes. Remember that the style is in the wearer. Your shoes are you, maybe others would switch out shoes, but you wouldn't. Also living in Alaska must require a different shoe choice than living in say, San Diego.

krishnidoux

Veteran

San, I was going to write the same thing. Our leg shape can influence our shoes preferences.

Una, I really hear you on the shoes. I'm going to risk 5 cents psychology here and ask you: what type of shoes was your mom wearing when you were young? And maybe just maybe does it have to do with that, such as you trying to veer away from her style?

I realized for myself that recently certain fashion items on me reminded me strongly of my mother, because (well, duh) we share some features. It's just that we lived in different times, so for the most part, I never think about it. I also realized while playing around with outfits that a part of me is always trying to avoid dressing like her, and it influences my choices, my likings. For example my mother was all feminine power high heels (today she would be a candidate for Louboutins); I seldom wear them. I'm an advocate for low heels.

She was all chic, heels, tapered, couture, big hair, bold jewellery, bold colors, Chanel handbags, Louis Feraud suits, pencil skirts most of the time, and she was absolutely striking in all of this. And she had the outgoing, strong personality to match this. I do not. I realize throughout my adult life I have unconsciously or not tried to find my own style which would be everything but my mother's. I'm more yoga, western, gamine, ballet flats, pants, casuals, neutral chic, little or not jewellery, short hair.

If I try on a Louis Feraud or a Rodier, I see my mom in the mirror. Not that I don't like her, but it's as if, in my mind, this image of her superimposed on me cancels me out. I hope I make sense and this is not too crazy.

Boots: they always add pizzazz to an outfit but also conveniently hide the legs.
So this is what makes me think that your attraction to boots, your aversion to ballet flats or feminine heels despite your outstanding legs may tell something more...?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Really interesting discussion.

I don't dislike heels or ballet flats in theory...but I only own one pair of heels, and no ballet flats, even though with their low vamps they would suit me.

My lack of heels has to do with my lifestyle. I just don't have anywhere to wear them. Or not often enough to justify buying more than a pair or two. With flats, it's less style related than practical: I haven't been able to find any that stay on my feet. (They flip off my heels, even with heel inserts.)

I am guessing that the climate and the general landscape in Alaska would mitigate against a love for spindly heels. Somehow they just wouldn't seem right there. But Fluevogs would look brilliant. And why wouldn't they go with some of the outfits you posted, if you had them in the right colours? I think they would look superb!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Denise, I'm glad to hear you are anti-pump as well! I thought I was the only one. I have exactly one pair that I bought this last year specifically for interview wear, when I realized I only had sandals and other open toed options that weren't appropriate. Maybe since we both have jobs that have nothing to do with typical business attire (pumps, pencil skirts) those items just don't have any room in our lives??

Jonesy

Veteran

I looove flatforms and ballet flats and traditional pumps are not my style at all! For me it's about being practical (my feet are two different sizes, so ballet flats and pumps don't stay on--one is either too tight or too loose, and not comfortable at all) and about style (pumps and ballet flats don't suit my style). I love big shoes: wedges, flatforms, platforms, etc. Una, I totally think you should go with shoes/booties you love, and forget about worrying about the whole low-vamp-lengthening-your-legline thing. I mean, if you found the perfect shoe that does both, great, but otherwise just go with what you love and what suits your style! You have very long legs in proportion to the rest of your body, so maybe it's not such a big issue for you in general?

Di

(website)

Veteran

1) Cracking up at the reference to tribbles.
2) I'm totally in agreement re: leg shape influencing shoe preferences. With my canary legs, clunky shoes look RIDICULOUS. I look like Olive Oil.
3) I'm pretty uninterested in slacks. They're my "meh" item.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I know I'm not fully participating without posting pictures, Una...but besides the other reservations I've explained before (i.e. the general weirdness I'd feel about putting up my picture on the web, plus the fear of getting laughed at by my husband!), there is the new problem of privacy. Everyone who clicked on the link to the Fluevog voting page for that design competition now knows my last name, as well as where I live. I've never been cagey about information, but posting pictures may be crossing the line. Plus, I never seem to have any questions about my outfits to ask the members that cannot be answered without a visual. If and when I do, I might post a picture -- but I will probably cut off my head.

But yes, you and I seem to share clothing preferences as well as body type, although our facial features and colouring are totally different. And no, you are not offending me at all when you suggest that! You look fantastic, and I often admire how you look in the outfits you post. I think you are a little hard on yourself.

catgirl

Veteran

Elizabeth, I completely understand! And your comments are welcome any time.

Krishnidoux, my mom actually steals my shoes when she can. Back in the day she was a total shoe hound, mostly for those 70s wedge mule styles. She didn't wear the shoes I now avoid, nor the kind of shoes I love. Now that's she's older, she just takes my comfy shoes, like Merrells and Danskos.

I do think you're onto something in general though with the psychology angle, which is that I don't like feeling "girly" and strongly feel that shoes, of all clothing (other than outerwear), must be functional as well as decorative. It is amazing how strong my aversion to traditional pumps is, even when I see how good they can make an outfit look. It's like magnets repelling - I - just - can't- get - them - on - my - feet!

Freckles

Veteran

For me it's belts. Adore the look of them on other people but wouldn't waste my time shopping for one. I can't stand wearing one even if my pants are falling off without it. As a general rule I love very tactile things - cashmere, velvet and most belts don't tend to be soft and comfy.

MsLuna

Veteran

I'm with you there, though it's more handbags for me. I'm the most practical person you'd meet when it comes to handbags. I have a thing for high heeled shoe, and surprisingly, my prerequisite for a good handbag is that it MUST fit an extra pair of shoes in there. Practical isn't it?

Like you I'm a sucker for Dr. Martens too. I loooove mine, even though I love chunky funky dressy heels. There's just something about these boots that are so special!

Irene

Veteran

Like others have said, I couldn't care less about bags. And now that I'm starting to be interested in them, I'm very picky. There are some styles I don't like, so I don't wear them. I HATE pointy heels. I don't quite like clogs. I don't really love stilettos. So what? Everyone has his own likes and dislikes!

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