I'm not dead yet - YouLookFab Forum

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I'm not dead yet

spoff

I turned fifty last year and and noticed over time I have become a lot less confident when it comes to my fashion choices .When I was younger if I saw a fashion trend I liked I went for it, no questioned asked. Now this annoying little inner voice often asks , can I wear that? Am I too old for that? What will people think? I dont want to look ridiclous ....Surfing the Internet has not helped as the recommendations for my age group are often just short of orthotics and rain bonnets. Then today while searching the boyfriend jean look for over forty(that was as far as I was willing to go age wise lol) I came across a blog called I'm not dead yet written by a woman in her fifties. What she said that really spoke to me was " who cares what the age police think" I read it again and realized that I was not only giving in to the age police, my inner voice had become one. How sad. I not only questioned my fashion choices I often secretly did it to others in my mind .Well ,I believe its time to banish behavior! So my New Years resolution is this- I am going to be less judgmental when in comes to fashion for my self and all the other amazing woman rocking a personal style they love. I want encourage others and celebrate their choices ( something YLF does so well and one of the reason I love this website) realizing they are wearing what makes them feel special and unique.If I love something I am going to go for it in a way that speaks to me and forget about what the "age police" think. After all you only live once, you might as well feel great doing it

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32 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Anonymous

Amen! I'm joining you at 50 in May and I really want to start to have more fun with fashion. You're so right about YLF being a great place to be and to keep the fashion police at bay, while celebrating others' style.

merwoman

Veteran

Great post/reminder spoff!
For me the key is confidence - you can wear anything as long as you are confident in the look. The minute you are hesitant and unsure, the ensemble starts to look 'off' and not 'you'.

Windchime

Veteran

Hello, Age Twin! I'm glad you posted this, and I'm chuckling about "orthotics and rain bonnets." What an affirming New Year's resolution you've made! For me, too, one of many wonderful things about YLF is learning how to pull together attractive, on trend outfits at any age. There are loads of past-40 ladies on here who do this regularly and with panache. We are going to age--we can't stop that--but how wonderful to look good for the whole journey!

I think we also have to be on guard to not let that inner voice stop us from trying other life experiences, too, but that's a separate topic.

Later I'm going to look up the blog you referenced.

Isabel

Veteran

I know that blog ! She is a lot of fun. I will also be fifty this year. I look at it this way, as long as it is mixed in with something that is "grounded", there are ways to mix in. I wouldn't shop at Wet Seal though. : )

Aleta

Go Spoff!! Great positive thoughts, I am with you all the way. I'm 54 next month, and mostly I don't concern myself with how my style choices relate to my age, but then I have generally been a modern classic dresser all my life so other than avoiding mini skirts I don't really feel anything much has changed.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

And I hit 49 (for the first time), yesterday. Sounds like there are a few of us that need to make sure our fashion police are well behind bars, where they belong.

Isabel

Veteran

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Elizabeth !!!

rachylou

Veteran

I think you're right. We can really be suffocating towards ourselves in terms of fashion and age.

On the other hand, I will admit to being 44 now and seeking, to some degree, to have some outer dignity by refusing to wear bows and peter pan collars and mary janes and puff sleeves - all things that I once had a great fondness for. It really has started to make me feel like mutton dressed as lamb, paper bloomers and all.

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

The great thing about YLF is that the discussions broadens the horizon and feeds a lot of new ideas about how to dress. I'm 45 now, and like Rachy, I am noticing a change in how I prefer to be perceived. I avoid anything overly sweet or twee, but that might of course be very different for others.

Greyscale

Veteran

I am always in awe of women in Europe who age so fashionably. I feel like it's something Americans don't learn to do by default, though many of you are experts. One of my favorite things about this forum is seeing all the posts from people 10 or 20 years older than me and imagining how my style will evolve over time.

Carla

Veteran

I'm starting to think a lot of 'what's age appropriate for 50 something' is really a question of what is appropriate. Period. Regardless of age. I still happily wear a bikini, and don't have a problem showing a little knee. And some things I might not think are appropriate (for me) would be entirely fine on someone else, and I don't think age would have anything to do with it.

ClaraT

Veteran

What Carla said: Amen. I think personal style/shape etc. plus situation-appropriateness are better guides than age. Like it? Wear it and own the look!

Susie

Veteran

As a member of the 50+ club, I think it's wonderful that "older" women have more confidence in their style choices. And I agree that figure flattery is a better gauge than age when determining if one wears a particular style or not, like a bikini or an above the knee length skirt.

But, for me, I still believe that age- whether 15 or 55- does play a role in determining what is most appropriate.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm going to side with Rachy here. I have a blush pink ruffle tank and a certain white, breezy, gauzy skirt that are giving my pause as I near 44. The 'too girly' thing, not necessarily too young. But 2 years ago I felt fine in both.

spoff

This all started today with me over boyfriend jeans. Should I ? Shouldn't I ? Am I to old for that look?
When I started surfing for age appropriate ways to wear them I came across the blog I mentioned .
Her words really struck me and I too realized it had nothing to do with age . It was about personal preference and what I felt was appropriate for me. By the same token I knew that when others dressed in something I might not deem right for me ,it didn't make it a wrong choice. They had put time and thought into it ,and chose a look that worked for them and deserved the same level of acceptance I had just granted myself.
By the way, I am rocking my boyfreind jeans right now and I feel fantastic!

cciele

Veteran

Right on, spoff! Love your attitude. I also have questioned some of my fashion choices (I'll be 49 this year), but as you say, You only live once! or YOLO, as the young kids say these days

MsMaven

Veteran

I enjoy reading that blog as well. This reminds me of the way I found YLF. I Googled fashion for women over 60 and this site popped up.

At the time I had the feeling that I was being subtly pressured into giving up style and fashion--this was the message I got when I went shopping. Now I'm happy to find myself in a whole group of "we're not dead yet!" stylish people.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Absolutely you can wear boyfriend jeans! There have been so many posts here on the different ways everyone has adopted the look for themselves and their lifestyle and persona. I think that's what is most helpful here...seeing the different looks modeled by women of all ages ands sizes.

jen

Loved your post

jenanded

Veteran

Great post! I am 51 next week and it is tweaking me a little harder than 50 for some reason. I am suddenly having more issues with what to wear that is both sharp and suits the fading bits if that makes sense... mmm...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'm in the 50 plus crowd and I love my BF jeans! So glad you are planning to defy the inner critics.

Gigi

Veteran

Way to go! I turned 40 last year and am *just starting* to wear miniskirts. And I really don't care what other people think. Some of us just get started a little later on the fashion journey--but it's a very subjective journey, and we really have to wear what feels "right."

Catnip

Veteran

Well, I'm 50++, and I love my two new pairs of boyfriend jeans. It's probably a good thing I didn't know I'm too old to wear them.

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Joyce B

Veteran

Great post and great resolution. We all need to disregard the fashion police and wear what makes us feel happy.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Great resolution!

karymk

Veteran

I am about to turn fifty so I get you. I started to hear that dumb voice too, when I have always had the confidence and body to do what I want.

The question you should ask yourself is, "Is this my style?" instead of "Am I too old for this?"

YOu don't want to look mutton as lamb and neither do I. I think if you are on YLF, read mags and look at Pinterest there's no way that is going to happen to you.

My body dictates what I can wear more than anything else. Yes, I have too much skin on my middle so I can't wear midriff tops. But if I was some saucy little 50 year old with a completely flat stomach I wanted to feature, maybe I'd do it!

Beth Ann

Veteran

I turned 50 last summer. At this point, I realize I have to decide more carefully which voices and messages I wish to take into my heart. I love YLF because I not only hear positive, honest and thoughtful messages, but I can see other forum members finding style and confidence and learn from them.

So glad you've found your own best voice!

Kiwibird

Echoing all that's been said above. I'm on the wrong side of 60 and am having more fun with fashion now (and did in my 50s) than any other time in my life because I'm dressing how I want to and not how I'm expected to - and feeling pretty good about myself. I know what I like and what feels good and if I like a "younger" trend I just adapt it to my style. Go for it Spoff - so glad to hear your rocking those boyfriend jeans!! I've got a couple of pairs, one's rather fitting, the other is baggy but I love them. Here's what this 60+ year old wore to work the other day - wonder if the age police would approve???

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Lyn D.

Veteran

Great new year resolution!
Lack of BF jeans where I live is pretty much across the board.
I wear mine after discovering them on this forum and then finding them in a city Gap store.
I don't consider my age (50 plus) but rather what suits my casual lifestyle and taste.

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