I'm feeling schlumpy these days :( - YouLookFab Forum

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I'm feeling schlumpy these days :(

Maya

Veteran

I know all of you are sick of hearing about my hair, but I am just so fed up For me, my hair is my most important accessory, and when it doesn't look good, I just feel frumpy and not fab.

I tried to encourage it to wave more but it looked horrible. It was frizzier than ever and a terrible mess. I'm already sick of my fringe because, very ironically, it is wavy and won't lie straight like it used to. So basically the hair that I want to be straight is wavy, and the hair that I want to be wavy is straight. My fringe forms more of an "S" shape which I hate. I have tried everything, including flat ironing it, and nothing has helped. I think I may just have to endure the painful process of growing it out. I would probably just cut my hair short again if my beloved stylist were still here, but she isn't, and I haven't found anyone else yet. It took me 25 years to find a stylist I like, so based on that I'll probably be 50 by the time I find another one. I was originally going to try and grow it out very long, but I just don't have nice hair so I probably shouldn't. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

On top of that, my skin looks awful. I have been going through several blotting sheets a day because apparently in addition to the oil spill in the Gulf, there is an oil spill happening on my face. I have blackheads and discoloration and I'm even starting to get the odd pimple, though miraculously I haven't had a breakout yet. No makeup is helping at the moment because the oiliness is just too much, and all the blotting sheets are taking it off anyway. The combination of bad hair and bad skin is making me feel awful. I actually avoid looking in the mirror when I'm washing my hands in the bathroom at work. I just feel disgusting every day. Even though I put so much time in, my face looks dirty and my hair looks like I didn't even have time to run a comb through it. I know I'm incredibly vain but it really does spoil my mood. I don't feel confident at all. Sigh.

General

32 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

Mac

Veteran

Sorry. We all have days/ weeks/ years when we feel less than our best. I could tell you that you're young and slim and lovely but I know that it wouldn't help; it's about you not feeling attractive and me giving compliments isn't going to help.

First: please remember that in this disgusting, sticky, hot, muggy, nasty weather, almost no one looks at her best. Everyone is complaining about the humidity causing bad skin, poofy hair, sweaty pits, etc. And the weather WILL pass.

Second: don't know what your health coverage is like, but any chance you can get to a dermatologist? I've no doubt that your skin doesn't appal anyone but yourself, but if it bothers you so much, a derm can be of great help.

Third: I'm sorry. It sucks to feel unappealing.

AJ

Veteran

Maya, are you at all interested in braiding or twisting your hair to help get you through this blah hair stage? My hair is in constant frizzy mode right now and braids and updo's help me feel sane.

Also, maybe try your luck with hats? Although that might not be allowed at work.

MNsara

Veteran

Oh, no - have you been subjected to that nasty hot, humid weather?? That can just ruin hair and skin. That nasty humidity will wreak havoc on a person's skin, producing extra sweat and oil, clogging pores, etc. Those are days when you feel sticky and grubby even though you just cleaned up

I can only imagine that if you have frizz-prone hair, that nasty humidity you've had would frizz it like a humid Florida afternoon.

If the weather settles into 'normal' summer heat/humidy, your hair will recover quickly. Skin may need a week or two to flush out the impurities that got started.

Megan

Hi Maya,

I don't know if your budget allows it but I've had a brazilian blowout keratin treatment done to my hair and it's AMAZING. No frizz even when it rains.

Also, nutrogena make an oil eliminating cleanser. I've had some success with it combined with a matifying primer- it helps my make up stay on for at least the whole work day.

Rosie

Veteran

Hugs, Maya. Feeling like that just blows. Mac said it all.

Some good hair ideas from AJ, Sara and Megan. It sounds like the bangs are the toughest part, though.

Just remember, this, too, shall pass.

taylor

Veteran

ugh. I felt that very same way today. "(

Frances

Oh, yes--I know this place all too well. I call it "the Hideous Uglies," as in, "I've got a bad case of the Hideous Uglies this week and want to crawl under a rock." Of course you're neither hideous nor ugly, Maya, but it's awful when you get stuck in that place and nothing you do seems to make any difference. You know it will pass, but it's frustrating to ride it out.

Is anything unusual happening with your fitness and nutrition routine, or do you think it's just the oppressive weather?

Louise

Veteran

I don't think anything I can say will make you feel better so just sending (((hugs))) and keep on ranting if it helps xxx

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Poor Maya! I am sure that the bigger part of those problems is "just in your head" but it does not make it less real for you. So I lend you my shoulder for more ranting if required
BTW any time I have seen a picture of you your hair and skin looked just fine to me...

crwilson

Veteran

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Maya. I definitely go through these stages too, and it just stinks. I wish there were a miracle solution, but I haven't found one yet. I hope that you start to feel better soon!

Dusty

(website)

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. We all have that from time-to-time and I have a feeling this summer you're not the exception. I haven't even been wearing makeup because I know I'd sweat it all off the second I step outside. Don't do anything drastic until the heat lets up a little.

April

Veteran

Oh dear, Maya. I am so sympathetic to the frustrations of frizz and the miseries produced by our rotten East coast summer weather. Also to losing your stylist -- the one I have gone to for 19 years recently left the business so I had to start fresh as well.

Interestingly, the new person I went to recommended a keratinizing treatment, as mentioned by Megan above. Not sure what the "Brazilian blowout" part is or if it's exactly the same treatment, but my stylist said keratinizing would reduce my curl without eliminating it entirely and would completely eliminate frizz.

Taylor and Renata -- any experience with this?

JuliaInGermany

Maya, while I don't have any advice I wanted to say: I feel for you! I'm a constant mess these days, too. It feels like it doesn't make any sense to wash and blowdry my hair in the mornings or put on make-up, as half an hour later I'm all sticky, shiny, red and with hair standing on end. Blech!

Remember: This too will pass.

Sihaya

Veteran

Maya - I'm so sorry. My hair is super hard to manage when long as well. I can *totally* empathize with the descriptions of your hair. It can be so incredibly frustrating and spoil your day. On the skin front, I get pimples every month even now in my 40's! I know one pimple a month is unavoidable due to my hormones during PMS, however, I keep the rest at bay when I drink 10 glasses of water a day. I try to have at least one serving of fresh fruit and 8-10 glasses of water. And cut down on sugar. Not sure what your diet/exercise regime is but maybe looking at that might help? and I wonder if the heat is making things worse - it does for me. Big hugs.

Lisa

Veteran

Maya-How fast are you switching up your products (for both hair and face)? For either, it takes time to really see results, at least a few weeks. That's the part of product trials that always gets on my nerves. I want to know NOW if it works or not. Also, have you been air drying lately? Our weather has been AWFUL, did you see the humidity today? I felt 10pounds heavier when I left the house this morning. I never have nice hair in the summer months. I want to air dry to give the hair a break, but then it’s so frizzy, it looks crummy. And I do NOT have curly hair at all. For the face, from someone who has suffered with severe cystic acne for YEARS, a big part of the face, besides the products is what you eat. Have you recently changed your diet (ie more fatty food, sweets, oily foods, fast foods, etc) It’s annoying but the cleaner and healthier I eat, the better my face will look. Plus, it’s rare a person really drinks enough water in a day. Also, I always have oiler skin in the summer, but that’s because I switch to a higher SPF for the face during the summer months. I hope you keep the chin up, it’s the non fab days that allow us to have fab one’s anyway.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

We're having terrible weather and that is making me feel horrible, too. Just know that it's temporary- and it's not just you. I found this amazing moisturizer that makes me skin way less oily though, and that helps a little. It's called Merlot and Walgreens sells it. It's inexpensive and works really well. I keep telling my husband (who is plagued by the greasies) to try it. It has grape seed oil.

Maya

Veteran

My salon sent out an email about keratin treatment, but shelling out close to $500 every 3-5 months is not an option for me.

This has been going on since before the foul weather, but it's just even worse now. I went back to my usual blowdry-straight-with-round-brush routine which helped a bit, but I definitely need product of some kind and I'm not sure what to use that won't leave a nasty feeling or leave a ton of buildup.

Skin just seems like a lost cause. No product in the world is going to stop the oil spill. If only I could fit a cap over my pores...

Thanks for your sympathies. I am just reminded of being a teenager all over again and that is NOT an experience I wish to replicate.

Dusty

(website)

I can recommend Suave's Sleek anti-frizz cream. It's cheap, but it's really worked for me (and, hey, if it doesn't work out, you're out a whole $2). I haven't noticed any build-up and it doesn't feel weird at all. It doesn't hold, but it helps with the frizzies and if I put it in my daughter's hair while it's wet, it doesn't get into the tangled rats nest of knots that it usually does (she has super fine, wavy hair and it's always a mess).

Ariadne

Veteran

Ugh, Maya, I'm sorry you're feeling so icky. I'm sure it's no fun. I don't know... I am wondering if maybe it would be worth cutting your hair short. You've probably tried this, but have you asked everyone you know with decent hair for recommendations? I have horrible, horrible hair (thin and fine, but like yours, straight in places and just wavy enough in others to look messy but never nice--I'm not saying that's how yours is in reality but that's how I always felt about mine when long so I understand) and the only way I like it is when it's cut short. I will never go back to long or even long-short hair.

Have you tried a facial? I've never had one but I know Angie swears by them.

Itari

(website)

Sorry to hear that. I don't really have a useful advice, but I hope that it'll stop soon.

Carole

Veteran

Oh my, Maya! I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. We all (or at least I do) have times like this. I once had terrible cystic acne, and it took me years to figure out how to combat that and I know how it feels to hate the reflection in the mirror and how that makes you feel deep inside.

Just a couple of ideas: someone here recommended Cover Girl ageless concealer or something like that, I just got that and really like it alot, and I have tried many many many, this is a favorite. Also, the Bare Minerals makeup helps with oily skin. I can't wear any liquid foundation (makes my skin feel and look like an oil slick). Bare Minerals or the equivilant is the only thing I will use.

Chin UP, BIG HUG!

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Well with all that oil, at least you don't have wrinkles

I used to slick my hair back and wrap it in a tight ponytail at the base of my neck when navigating NYC's stinky hot summers. Yours might not be long enough for that?

Hope you're feeling more upbeat soon!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Maya, I think we all have times like that! When my skin (which is acne prone and dry as a bone...like have the skin of a 13 year old and a 75 year old at the same time...ugh) is bad, I head off and get a facial. They are expensive, but they make me feel like I'm doing something good for my skin, even if it's just temporary...

tarzy

Veteran

I don't have much to add, except thanks for saying "schlumpy." It makes me homesick for New York!

Maya

Veteran

Yeah, my hair is not long enough yet for any kind of tying back/braiding solution. But it is long enough for pigtails. Are low pigtails too kiddish? Do I risk looking like a 5 year old? Or worse, a Catholic schoolgirl?

Glad I made your day Tara. I like to think I am bilingual in English and Yiddish.

Carole, I use Bare Minerals. Definitely doesn't help with the oil though. You seriously can't underestimate how oily I get in summer. I'm totally convinced nothing will help. It's just how I am.

I found a new salon near work that's getting great reviews on Yelp and Citysearch and I'm going to ask if they can trim my bangs tomorrow and perhaps give me a consultation so I can figure out what to do with my mop. I can't have it as short as yours Brianna. I can't have anything above chin length because I do not have a good chin line and the lack of hair would just draw even MORE attention to my skin. Bad idea. I think my hair might be okay once it gets past my shoulders. Shoulder length hair is hard for me to deal with.

This is what my hair looked like when it was very long:

http://img.photobucket.com/alb.....ow/new.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/alb...../party.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/alb.....oto3-1.jpg

Not too bad. These pictures are obviously old though. Perhaps my hair texture has just changed over the past 4-5 years.

Ariadne

Veteran

Oh Maya, I really like your hair long like that. It's so luxurious. Do you think you can stick it out? Looks like it would definitely be worth it. Growing out hair is so hard, especially when you have bangs to grow out too.

I am not sure what you mean about not having a good chin line--it doesn't look that way to me... then again, I'm convinced that a far larger percentage of people can successfully wear their hair short than think they can. If you like how it looks pulled back...

Rosie

Veteran

Maya, I hate to ask this question, but have you tried Proactiv? I have some friend who had had a of success with it.

Maya

Veteran

I don't really need anything that extreme Rosie. My skin is very oily, but as I said, I have somehow miraculously escaped the ravages of acne. It's amazing how much things change from one season to another. I just need to tough it out until fall (but that doesn't mean I can't complain!).

Most of the time, the more products I use and the more desperately I try to control things that are out of my control, the worse the situation ends up.

Scarlet

Veteran

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