I think we need another May Madness support thread... - YouLookFab Forum

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I think we need another May Madness support thread...

rae

(website)

Veteran

Ok, so in followup to Shannon's pants post, in which Rita kindly reminded us all to stop shopping on SYC (what a concept, right?), I thought I'd start another support thread.

Because, yeah, I was sitting there browsing for green pencil skirts! Oops...

But hey! Let's focus on the good things!

- I've got my Target and Macys returns in my car to get sorted tonight. So I did stick to my word to pass up the Bar III dresses after finding my boots. Woot!

- I did delete a bunch of superfluous items from my saved Ebay searches.

- Many items have fallen off the wish list, leaving more important ones - replacement b/w bag, for example.

- Renewed interest in DIY - I finally started the patterns for my replica work pants. Took me long enough.

- And of course, it is now May 10! Which means the month is 1/3 OVER.

Shopping

40 replies

Latest reply was from Mellllls

christieanne

Veteran

I'm telling you all - just stay out of stores

If you don't want SYC to frustrate you, you really have to just not shop (maybe that means no surfing or magazines or whatever your shopping mode is). Probably easier for me since I rarely if ever order online.......

Another thing you could do - give yourself a penalty jar. Every time you are tempted to shop, put a buck (or some kind of IOU or something) in a jar to remind yourself you didn't want to do that. I had to do that to stop using curse words so much. It worked!

rae

(website)

Veteran

I agree, Christieanne - it is just so darned easy to see a pop up ad on any given site and go, "OOH, I'd been looking for one of those - maybe I can price stalk it." And then before you know it, you're scrolling through the whole inventory! The blessing and curse of targeted ads, I guess.

If I had to guess, I'd say thinking of my DIYs is helping the most. I have some fabric I'd meant to use for a skirt, and it has some green in it, so there you go: green skirt! No need to buy one, silly Rae.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

WHAT Rae...are you going to let a little green skirt rule your life and your finances, thought not

I think you need to find another distraction for whiling away those five minutes!

ManidipaM

Veteran

Well, I've been good, if only for lack of opportunity to be bad!

No further shopping this month. Though I'll go window shopping on Sunday to see if I can figure out (a) my Clarks shoe size and (b) whether they have shoes I'd like --- a couple of months down the line!

For me, because I simply can't spend a budget I don't have, it's been oddly freeing for the most part to window shop with no intent to buy. It means I don't worry so much about making mistakes, and can just assess the garment for what it is. Hey, I might even learn how to stop making mistakes one of these days, just by chance!

I've spent extra time playing with orphans and, er, new-worns too. It's nice to find variety and renewal among the jaded old familiars. In a fit of discipline I organized the dresser again --- all of it, even the SO's drawers. Poor man's expressed some worry about autonomy. And I think I feel a purge coming on!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Bless you Rae! I'm supposed to be the leader of the May Madness group and I'm weakening! I have posted at the end of my pants post that Rita is right and to disregard pants search and dress search (previous thread).

I haven't been in any brick and mortar stores so that's not my issue. It's that darned online browsing that's killing me!

My good things to focus on:

- I'm bringing out items that I purchased a couple of months ago in anticipation of warm weather (which has now arrived) so these are new to me (like today's outfit for example)

- I truly like my clothes and am enjoying wearing them. I'm trying to learn to wear them to their full potential so much more remixing is required

- Now that warm weather is here, I will be doing much more outside in terms of gardening and running, so less time in front of computer

My original desire re: SYC was to not shop until end of August - if I can't make it through May, that's going to be impossible! And to be honest, it may not even be realistic for me to go that long. I do want to add 2-3 flowy blouses, 1 pair of coloured pants and 1 dress to my summer wardrobe and I'm not going to be able to do that all through thrifting. I will need to re-think this. But I definitely want to make it through May.

Thanks Rita for the reminder (I did ask for help to keep me on track!) and thanks Rae for the support thread.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

If you have specific things you need to get, waiting until the end of the season may mean that your size is gone in the summer dresses and summer blouses.... perhaps a targetted list and budget would make more sense than total SYC?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I'm beginning to think you are quite right Rita and that SYC may not be reasonable for me at this time.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Actually Shannon, I think SYC is a little like quitting anything you crave and the first days and weeks are the hardest. If you can make it through the first month you can probably make it over a longer period of time. It is breaking the habits which is hard, the five minute look at an online shop with a cuppa, those pesky catalogues that drop on the matt at the worst possible time, that little walk which takes you past your favourite boutique.

I think you and Rae have the most wonderful wardrobes now and will still have at the end of May.

Good Luck.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I am thinking of SYC like flexing a muscle. I suck at it now, but I will get better. At the moment, weak. Soon, STRONG!

Sona

Veteran

So here's how badly syc went for me ( thus far):

Three J.Jill washable silk tops- gorgeous- shipped to my house for $79.
1 pair of ballet nude flaps with gold tone hardware: with coupons:$19
1 pair of kut from ther kloth bermudas: $52
1 pair of chicos white bermudas: $37
1 pair platfrom sandals in turquoise to match my dvf marigold birthday dress: $42

total=229
$200= birthday money from mom
in the hole $29.

here is my explanation ( excuses!):

Now the silk shirts were a wardrobe hole.

as were the bermudas.

I just needed shoes for my birthday dress!

The flats were to make my RN happy as I always complain about my shoes at the end of the day and she says : stop wearing heels. stop wearing nice shoes. wear fat danskos!"
I refuse to do that so I compromised with cute ballet nude flats.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Ack, the constant threat of sell-out! That is hanging over my head while contemplating a duplicate of my beloved Nexx blouse, too. I keep saying I'll pounce at the end of the month, but what if they're GONE in my size and colors by then? I feel like that blouse is my version of the Halogen pencil skirt.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Shannon, would you mind terribly if I asked this: Were those things you want to get actually wardrobe holes you did not notice before the SYC plan was made, or are they *wants* that come from playing in your closet and realizing that they'd be handy to have and make life very much easier, or are they things you're unhappy about not having enough/more of? (Need vs Want, you know?) How difficult would it be to make do without them? WHY would it be hard --- practical reasons or the psychological difficulty with SYC?

rae

(website)

Veteran

Manidipa, you are doing your recon! That is great - once your budget allows, you will know just what to get. Sometimes browsing is the hardest part, because of all the fit issues that seem to thwart you - you're right that there is less pressure when you can't buy.

Rose and IK, definitely true. That is what I meant about clicking over to an ad - I don't even think about it, because it has become so natural to do so. Chatting on this thread is my "workout" for the day - aka doing something other than browsing online shops during lunch!

Sona, $29 in the hole! You did great, and to even count birthday purchases at all is impressive. I'd just do a little dance to celebrate my "out," lol.

Shannon, your leadership is why I started the thread - I didn't even realize what I was doing until I saw that you'd closed your dress and pant threads!

christieanne

Veteran

It's ALWAYS a question of need vs. want isn't it?
Being happily satisfied by appreciating what we've got. Good philosophy for life.
Great questions to ask Manidipa.
Right now, I am taking inspiration from Rae and pulling out my bead box to make myself something new with all my various beads I already have since I am stuck at home waiting for DH to return my car (and avoiding housework chores lol).
Also thinking I could try to bleach/fade this denim jacket I have instead of looking for a "new" one or I could just wear it dark and and do my own spin on the Angie formula and be happy with that and chuckle at my own cleverness.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Julie - thank you for the compliments on my wardrobe (and Rae's). I'm finding it quite shocking (and a little bit digusting to be honest) how much shopping is a habit for me. It's like quitting smoking (which I did 20 years ago).

Manidipa - wow, good questions and thought provoking commentary. Part of the blouse issue truly is a need which I have discovered through SYC. I have a number of skirts and a couple of pairs of clams that do not have enough blouses to go with them. The coloured trousers, if I'm being honest with myself, I just thought of because they're pretty - they are not a need. Same with the dress - I have a couple of dresses I really like and can wear the heck out of. In reading your questions, I also remembered that for 4 weeks during July and August I don't work (on holidays) and truly live in shorts and tees and my swim suit, so do not need office clothing for that period. Thank you for making me think!

I'm back on the wagon - but I think with the intent that after the end of May, I will look for a couple of blouses and truly, that's all I need to get me through summer. I will also remind myself when feeling weak that there are two bigger money items I'll be looking for for winter - a new puffer coat (a definite need in Winnipeg!) and a pair of flat knee high leather boots (both a need and a want).

ManidipaM

Veteran

You go, Shannon! Flex those restraint muscles right alongside IK! Soon it'll become as much a habit as shopping used to be back in 2012!

[Heh. Who'm I kidding, eh? After more than 18 months of SYC, I'm still flexing... towards shop windows and online discount portals! It is a HARD habit to break, and no mistake!]

rae

(website)

Veteran

Manidipa, I am always one post behind you! Love your questions posed here. Although I'm not TS, I am mulling them over for myself.

I really, truly, thought that I had everything I could possibly need when I started SYC. And then the warm weather really HIT, and I realized that many of the items I *thought* could crossover from winter to spring were really too warm and heavy.

To determine what would make life easier, you made me think about what was hard. Styling my bottoms has definitely been hard, since they are all dark. I'd looked for bright pants and skirts, but the Halogen didn't work, so that's how I also arrived at the conclusion that blouses are the answer. So far the theory is holding true, so I guess SYC is working, as much as it chafes me.

Vildy

Veteran

Did anybody mention the ad block plus program? I find ads distracting so I have this
installed on my computer from the get go.

Isabel

Veteran

OK..I am doing fabulously, if I do say so myself. The truth is that my daughter and I were sick last week, so we didn't go anywhere. The only thing that I have done this week is to to the Y for my program..so I have been in exercise clothes. The weather has also been very cold and rainy, so I have been falling back on my clothes from Winter.

I have a sneaking suspicion that when the weather gets nice, I may want some different clothes.

qfbrenda

Veteran

I *love* Ad Block! I rarely see ads at all.

I'm struggling with the increase in gas prices and food since I'm feeling 5 boys who all can out eat me. I have to cut back somewhere and our clothing budget is one of those somewheres. So I'm not shopping for the rest of the month.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Well, I just tallied up and in the last three months I have bought
-seven (!) dresses (RL blue floral, Adrianna Papell red jersey, and black sheath dress from TJ Maxx; J Crew poppy origami dress, Kate Spade black & white floral sheath; MMK agate dress from 6pm (Rae copy), and DVF beetle print dress from eBay)
-three pants (red Kut skinny, white Kut skinny, H&M floral pants)
-three purses (Dotty, Fossil yellow satchel & RL black doctor bag)

So about 4 items/month. Quite a lot for supposedly being on SYC but still a lot less than what I was buying before. I really feel like I've cut down quite a bit on my shopping. And most of that was covered by returns, rebate and consignment money (and the yellow purse is for Mother's Day). Two months ago my Nordstrom card balance was $200 and last month it was negative balance.

So even though it's not total SYC, progress is good, right? I don't know if you guys noticed but I am posting a lot fewer keep or returns which means I haven't been buying as much. I am really happy with the items I did buy (minus the DVF wrap dress which is going back), I think they will be real workhorses (aside from the $15 trendy floral pants, LOL!) And hopefully I can cut down even further and stick to a SYB of 1-2 items/month.

Good luck to everyone on SYC/SYB!

Lisa

Veteran

I've been doing a once a month, one store shopping day form of SYC lately. This month was Marshall's, and I walked away with a few wishlist items that I've had since last year (bathing suit and a coverup) as well as a couple of trend items that I wanted to test out (cropped bright trousers-I went with cobalt-and a printed maxidress). Now it's back to SYC until next month!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Can I join in SYC even though it is May 10 already? I decided not to buy anything at all until NAS - which is about 2 months now. Even though I still have "wants" I don't have that many needs.I also hope that these two fasting months will help me to focus what I really need to get from NAS. As a bonus I will have more time for gardening and converting a small spare bedroom into a dressing room.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Absolutely you can join Sveta - there is support in numbers! Actually, I really like your no shopping until NAS idea. Might have to think about that myself.

Way to go Isabel (although I'm sorry that much of your success is due to illness and poopy weather)!

Whoops sorry Rae - I think I just hijacked your thread...

rae

(website)

Veteran

Natalie, I DID notice you're shopping less - good for you! And your SYC rules sound a lot like mine - returns don't count, nor do mothers' day gifts. You did get the agate print dress? Are you keeping it? We must see!

Lisa, that is another good strategy. Very interested, since I can already tell long-term SYC is not for me.

Sveta, I know others have mentioned waiting for NAS as well. I'm intrigued, but hesitant since we don't have a real winter here. Actually, I just started another thread to get more info on the matter!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Rae, for me NAS is most and foremost SHOES (and boots) - and you can wear these in SoCal, right?

ManidipaM

Veteran

I like Lisa's idea a lot too for setting easy-to-live-with limits. I just realized I've inadvertently done precisely that the last two months! One store, one day, done and dusted!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I know I said I was taking a break from posting but today my job got postponed for at least 3 weeks, maybe more. So that means a) I still have too much time on my hands and b) SYC is ever more important without income coming in.
I have two good SYC updates: I returned my interview pants that didn't fit (+$31.25) and I sold a dress on eBay for $10 that covers my 'paper bag' dress purchase of $8. Oh, a third in the plus category - birthday cash to cover the Athleta active shorts (plus I now have leeway of $50 but I am not spending that lightly!!)
If I finish my wish list throughout the end of the year as I have it planned out - I will be averaging 2 items a month. Just about where I thought I'd be. Overall I am happy with where I am but I do need to just S T O P buying anything until I have tips in my pocket from my first shift.
Over and out!

Deborah

Veteran

SYC is definitely a challenge (for me) and I keep remembering Christieanne's words,
"stay out of the shops"... Im not a huge on line shopper so staying out of the stores is best for me.. thanks Christieanne.

Funny thing is that I have bought a small sewing machine this week so I can do some of my own simple alternations!! subconsciously I must be thinking if I cant buy anything I can at least get some of current things awaiting alteration done and then I will have
"new" things to wear! Anyone relate to my logic??

Having said that I stand by my desire to excercise some self discipline by being on SYC. Shopping can be quite a controlling influence over me and I want to be in control of it!

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