I think I have officially reached the point where I am not having fun. - YouLookFab Forum

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I think I have officially reached the point where I am not having fun.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I've never before had this experience where so many pants look decent in the mirror and just awful in pictures. J. Crew, Express, F21, H&M, NYCO.

That's not even to mention how many pairs I've returned to ESPRIT, Rugby, Victoria's Secret, etc. that looked horrible in the mirror and didn't need pics to tell me that.

I did have success with the BR Sloans, but the colors are so limited, and they went and changed the fabric content. I was supposed to be looking for cheeky fits and colors... now I'm at my wits end just to find anything that sort of fits.

I just. don't. get it. Why? WHY? I love the way my jeans fit. I have many different colors and washes and patterns of jeans. Why no pants?

This is the point where I want to cry and curse my body... because I've tried on enough shapes and sizes of pants that, hey, it's starting to look like I MUST be the problem! This study shows a strong correlation between my body and pure suckage in dress pants. The lab is getting a new pile of funding to investigate whether said correlation is causative. Funds provided by pants manufacturers everywhere.

*huff*

If anyone needs me, I'll be pulling my hair out, eating cookie dough ice cream on the exercise bike, flipping between thighmaster infomercials and Kate Moss biopics while Jill Sobule's "Supermodel" plays in the background.

Shopping

51 replies

Latest reply was from Kari

MsMary

Veteran

Rae, dress pants are SUPER hard! I think I have great legs and a nice butt, and I have had a horrible time finding pants to wear to work. I finally found some from Ann Taylor that I kind of like, but they're not perfect and I had to get the petite and then they were too short so I am having them taken down and I'm afraid they'll still be too short.

I'm about ready to give up on dress pants. I totally feel your pain.

And it is NOT your body!!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I can't imagine. It's not even that you want to get them, more that you need to for your career. Double ugh.

ironkurtin

Veteran

That stinks, Rae! I'm sorry to hear it.

It is *possible* that higher-end stores/brands might fit better? If you find the one pair, even if it is pricey it might be worth it to have the agony over.

sarah

Veteran

Rae, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with your dress pants. If it's any consolation, you look better than just about ANYBODY in pencil skirts, jeans, and cutoff shorts. And there is hardly anyone who looks really good in cutoff shorts, so you should feel SUPER FAB about that. Can you just go back to wearing skirts for work? Are they really too outside of the norm?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Your last statement is making me laugh Rae...too funny! Put the cookie dough down and listen to me...I'm having the same issues as you in finding dress pants so it ISN'T YOU!!! I know too that many others have lamented about the issues with finding pants that fit properly and are flattering. Remember when I was complaining about dress pants around Christmas time? Lots of folks chimed in about the same frustrations. IT IS NOT YOU!!!

I'm actually at the point where I don't even feel good in pants anymore so why am I trying? I love skirts and dresses, feel better in them and think they are probably more flattering to my figure.

Pants have so many fit issues surround them- rise, waistband, butt fit, thigh fit, length, stretch, quality...blah blah blah...I also think there are pants that look good on you but maybe don't translate well in photos. I find my grey tween pants (Esprit) look better in person and in the mirror than they do in photos. And I'm ok with that. Lighting in change rooms, types of mirror, camera angles - they can all play mean little tricks with how the pants look in a photo.

Maybe take a break from trying on pants for a bit. I've seen you in jeans and I've seen you in shorts - you have a fabulous figure so do I need to say it again...IT'S NOT YOU!!!

nancylee

Veteran

Rae, you have a gorgeous body, so rest assured it's not you! Dress pants are a horror to fit. I have slim hips and long legs....you'd think pants would be a snap to fit...but almost every pair I've ever tried on feels slightly "wrong." Currently, I own exactly one pair of black trousers and I hardly ever wear them. Denim, dresses, and skirts make up a fine wardrobe. I guess what I'm saying is that you can live without dress pants!

That said, maybe you should just abandon the hunt for now and give yourself a break. Once you give up on something it's sure to pop up unexpectedly. At least that's been my experience.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Eating cookie dough on the exercise bike! That is priceless. All the contradictions of the time in one beautiful image You have a fabulous figure and it is the clothes not you. No shopping advice, but I will take a poster with that slogan please.

MsMary

Veteran

Just remember my new motto: Don't get mad, get new shoes!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Could you eat cookie dough WHILE getting new shoes? That would be the ultimate!!!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Rae, dress pants are the WORST!!! I have BR Martin skinnies and one pair of wide leg pants - and this is it. I am lucky that my work has a casual dress code so I can wear jeans - otherwise I would be living in skirts!!
I get depressed when I shop for pants - and for jeans too - and also curse my body. Then I stop looking for them and my self image greatly improves
Hopefully Angie can give you some tips on dress pants but you rock pencil skirts so wear them to work. At least you don't have the cold to deal with as us poot noortheners do!:-)

sarah

Veteran

What about these? (or are you trying to get away from black and grey?)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....tback=6984

On sale in charcoal:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....tback=7217

or:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....tback=3640

also on sale in charcoal:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....tback=2384

Sara L.

Veteran

I have a hard time finding dress pants too. I've had the same three pairs for years and now they are too short (I'm not sure if they've shrunk slightly or I've gained weight in some odd place that makes the pants shorter). I've lengthened the hems rather than trying to shop for new ones because I know it will be so hard to find any I like. It's not you! Pants are just not fun to shop for.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, you guys are the best... thank you for all the kind words. Intellectually, I know it's not me, but it helps to have that point hammered home by your friends when times are tough.

I think part of the pain is that I really am a tomboy at heart... I crave me some pants! So each failure is a double failure. Oy.

Bless you all for reminding me of your pants woes... I admire all your wardrobes very much, so knowing that you have not cracked the pant code at least makes me feel less alone.

Sarah, thanks a bunch for the suggestions, but I'm trying to get away from black and gray. I do have black and gray pants I like, though they were thrifted, and thrifted long ago, so there is no hope of duplicating.

...so... how the heck to be positive and proactive here (I hear I should fake it till I make it)? Anyone know of some promising pants sewing patterns? o_0

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Rae, pants are tricky to sew. You know I consider my mom a dressmaking wizard but pants are not her strength. Dress? Sure? Winter coat? No problem! Pants? No, thanks: I had to get rid of all her tries because they just did not work for me
How about taking a new challenge to be a tomboy in a pencil skirt?

MsLuna

Veteran

RAE!!!!

As someone who's had experience with sewing/tailoring this is one thing you have to remember: It's NOT YOU! It's the PANTS!

To begin with, pants are a b**** to fit - I mean there are so many factors involved: waist, hips, crotch length, the size of your thighs, sometimes calves... Gah! All these measurements need to be taken into account. Believe me it's a pain... This is why I've given up completely on store-bought pants because nothing ever fits my thick waist and slim hips unless they're super stretchy legging-types. Bleeeh!

And to add to that, retailers seem to change their cut and fit all the time. They're fickle like that. I've had so much luck with the BR sloan pants before too but held off buying them for one season. Then the next season??? They fit WEIRD! So yeah - that's just the way it is in retail!

I've seen you in your WIW pants outfits though and you REALLY work it! So don't get discouraged and don't let this bring you down! Keep woooorking it!

@Sveta: I haven't sewn pants in many many years and I'm so scaaared! They ARE tricky to sew because of all those measurements we have to take! There is a specific book that is dedicated to fitting pants - but I totally forgot which one that is.

AJ

Veteran

Can you get some "almost the ones" altered? What about hiring a tailor to make a couple of pairs for you. It may cost more but you will be pleased everytime you wear them.

I hate pants buying too. Got any more cookie dough? I'll bring my exercise bike by and is Project Runway Allstars on?

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I hear you on the looks good in a mirror, bad in a picture thing. But keep in mind that black doesn't photograph well, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Would ponte bootleg black jeans be dressy enough for work? Jeans makers might have better fit technology:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/no.....ltback=270

shoppingisfun

(website)

Veteran

Rae,

Buying dress pants is not easy. I'm glad I get to wear jeans to work! Just for fun, though, I tried on some dress pants at Banana Republic last weekend. Weirdly, the Sloan Flares fit me okay in the petite sizing, but at under 5' 1/4", they were actually too short for me with my heels on. Since flares are normally worn with heels (especially by petite women), and since I'm short even for a petite, it was very weird! Then I tried on the Sloan Straight Leg (I think that's what they were called) and they fit sooooooo weirdly and looked horrible! My thighs looked like a mess! I gave up and bought another pair of jeans.

Have you tried Express for pants? They come in a few cuts, short and tall sizing in some cuts, and some funky colors.

Anonymous

Pass the ice cream. I'm really in the mood for some too. You can ride the bike though. I'm too wiped out. Pants just SUCK and I try not to use that word. But it fits. (unlike the pants). They look ugly and manly on me no matter what. There are so many variables in pants fit. But I must find some too so I'm glad you're blazing the trail in front of me. I just hit "submit order" on some flint grey Gap really skinny pants. Two colors. Black and grey. So sad.
Good luck, Rae. And no, it's no your beautiful, young, perfect body. It's the pants! Arrrgggghhhh!

rae

(website)

Veteran

AJ, I don't even have any "almosts"! And I don't know what the problem is to even explain it to a tailor... I don't have the usual waist gape issues. It's all crotch, and I'm going to venture a wild guess that altering a crotch curve isn't an easy fix, based on what the sewists are saying.

@ Sveta and MKK, what about copying existing pairs of pants? Do you think that either I or a tailor could do that? I'm decent at generating patterns without taking garments apart. I know there are services that will duplicate your favorite jeans, so maybe that's an option for pants, too?

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Rae, I love to sew and have had a hard time finding a pants pattern that fits me. I've made muslins and altered them and still had trouble. So I copied my favorite pants, the Halogen Whitney cut from Nordstrom, and came up with a pretty dang good copy. (Then I shrank them, but that's another story.) I used a copying method I saw demonstrated in a video by Sandra Betzina some time back, at a sewing guild meeting. Here's a YouTube preview with the basic idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26YgJOtoeCw

Marley

Veteran

I'm coming right over, with my bike and a box of chocolates. Rae - to begin with you have a super fantastic style and body - I mean super! But, I think its dress pants in general. I really hate them myself and can't remember ever finding a pair that I felt good in. Just look at all of the different sizes and shapes of women who have responded to this thread. NO ONE thinks dress pants are easy - most of us have never found a pair that even come close to being 7's let alone 10's! So, get off of that bike and treat yourself to something like a massage instead - get all of that stress and frustration kneaded out of your body, put on one of your killer skirts tomorrow for work - and just trust that the perfect pair of dress pants will come to you when the time is right! In the meantime, BREATHE!

DonnaF

Veteran

Rae; I know the feeling. After years of searching, I finally found dress pants that fit me last summer. They needed to be hemmed a bit, or at least I thought so at the time before PPL and before I bought my booties. Anyway, between the time I bought them and finished hemming them, I lost enough weight to make them not fit!!! I think cheaper pants are less forgiving of weight fluctuations, and paying a tailor would be more than I paid at Kohl's due to their sales. Moreover, the last time I used a tailor, I had gained weight by the time I finally got my stuff back and so the altered stuff didn't fit quite right. So I will keep these pants at the back of my closet should I have some fat months, and I will continue my search but for pants with a bit of stretch.

As a stop gap, I found some dress pants at Macy's in their own brand. They fit, but are so crummy that they showed panty lines so I had to buy new underwear, too. Sorry, but slacks should be substantial enough not to show.

MsLuna

Veteran

@rae You can certainly knock off the pattern of those pants, if you're confident about doing that. I actually knocked off one of my Karen Kane dresses because they fit so well. I haven't tried using the pattern yet though.

I'm not sure about finding someone to knock off clothing for you though - I never tried it. Maybe look for tailors or even fashion students who are looking to make some extra bucks?

ManidipaM

Veteran

rae, as everyone says, it's not you, it's the stupid pants!

I'm reaching for a coffee and a doughnut as I type, because the last pair that fit me nicely and looked nice-ish was bought FIVE years ago, AND had to be altered at the waist and hem, AND I found it tends to pill just a tad, SO I keep it to wear only for occasions when I need to really impress and yet be ready to clamber over rocks and railings --- that's to say, I wear them about 5-6 times a year! OH, and it's beige, which is so not my colour. The last pair that worked before that was bought, umm, TEN years ago. It was navy and divine, needed zero alteration... and had a bit of sparkle in it! I determinedly termed it daytime glitter and wore it to work most days of the week for a year, until I switched to a more casual workplace.

It bears repeating, it is NOT you. I hear you loud and clear on WANTing the pants because they are what YOU prefer, never mind how hot the skirts. I have practicality issues with skirts, but it comes to the same thing. You want to feel great as well as look great.

If you are serious about alterations, then yes, a good tailor CAN alter crotch fit. It's not impossible, but you need to find someone who is good with pants and preferably specializes (if they actually do custom-tailored suits, that's great --- you can get them to run up similar pairs as well, and they'll be better at the fitting from all the practice).

But of course, said tailors can be nearly as hard to find as the pants, in the first place! So, take a breather, take a break --- then go try again. Maybe look at entirely different brands for a change? And also, since you can sew and makeup patterns yourself, consider getting a cheap lightweight fabric to experiment on and try your hand at replicating the BR Sloans you like meanwhile? (if they don't work, at least you'll have fancypants loungewear!)

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Thumbs up for Jill Sobule!

I was wondering what it would cost to find a proper tailor and just have them custom-make something for you, rather than trying to make a mass manufacturer's idea of how your body should be shaped work. It might be worth it in terms of saving you the frustration!

Deborah

Veteran

Rae it's not you it's the pants. Can you have something tailored or finf something that could be altered to your perfect fit?

Vildy

Veteran

The crotch fit is counter-intuitive. If the crotch feels too tight against you, it's an easy fix and involves actually cutting the curve deeper. But if the crotch is too low, my opinion and experience is that it can't be fixed unless the whole of the pants top could be lifted and recut.

Also, is there a big difference between your hips and waist? If so and your jeans rise is customarily lower than your dress pants rise, you may want to copy your jeans rise in your pants.

You know, you're a beautiful woman and have a strong personality that can make any style look intentional and right - so I would start by looking for pants that feel natural to move in when your eyes are closed. If they move well with you, you'll forget they're on and you'll feel right in them.

And all tailors aren't equal just because they're called tailors. Test them with only one pair.

Vildy

Veteran

btw, I am five feet tall and my perfect dress pants - I have 3 alike in different dark colors - are some older jc penney ones that I purposely bought in tall. They have a lightweight fluidity where you can discern my leg muscles working when I walk, though they aren't terribly wide. I have decided that it doesn't feel like me to be in stiffer, thicker pants.

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