I shouldn't have looked..but I did (SYC) - YouLookFab Forum

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I shouldn't have looked..but I did (SYC)

Isabel

Veteran

I can't believe that I actually went to the Nordstrom site and found the leather jacket of my dreams. I have been looking for a leather jacket for years ( I am not exaggerating ). I didn't want black and I wanted more of a blazer.

I have the money set aside for it. The problem ? I agreed to do the SYC until Jan.1.

What do I do ???? Do I wait and hope that a store somewhere has it on Jan. 1 - or do I bug out now - or do I take the silly gas that makes you forget everything ?

HELP !

Shopping

32 replies

Latest reply was from morethanbeige

MNsara

Veteran

1) What are the gift rules? Can you ask for it as a gift that you wouldn't receive until Christmas (or New Years)?

2) It could well be available after 1/1/2011, and on clearance!

3) You need to revisit your reasons for doing SYC. Are they still valid?

4) Plus, it doesn't sound like you have tried it on - what are the chances it will fit as well as you hope?

(P.S. What one is it?)

taylor

Veteran

I have no good advice since I bailed out after 3.5 weeks...What ever you decide you will get nothing but support:)

Isabel

Veteran

Thank you both !! Taylor your honesty humbles me. It would have been so easy for you to lie about the boots - you really inspired with your honesty.

I do need to rethink this.....sara, you bring up some good points. ( if I try it on and it fits, I am in trouble....)

Laura asked us for our own sort of rules and I basically stated that unless I sprung a leak in my underwear or rainboots, I was going until Jan. 1., so no gifts. Yes, my reasons are still valid...I want to appreciate and wear more often what I own. I have some lovely things that always make me happy when I wear them. And it is almost a spiritual decluttering for me and being more present in my moment ( right now, that moment has no leather jacket ! ) UGGGGGGGGG

It is this one :

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/31.....sultback=0

bj1111

Veteran

does it count if you wear the leather jacket instead of underwear?!?!?

Isabel

Veteran

bj you really gave me a good belly laugh ! You are a thinking woman !!!!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Isabel, when you decided to go ahead with the commitment to the challenge you must have realized there was a risk of finding something you loved. And, at the time, you didn't make an exception for that in your personal rules. So I think you should try to stick to you commitment.

I know it seems like this is the one and only time you'll find this perfect piece, and you might even be right. But then again, if you did buy it and wore it, it would wear out, get damaged, or you would change sizes and then you'd have to look for something else anyway. I guess my long rambling point is that there is always something new coming down the pike; when you're ready to buy again you'll find something!

Isabel

Veteran

Thanks Jenava !! I realize that you are right. I have owned a leather bomber once, 20 years ago and I ended up donating it because I didn't like it. So this is weird fixation for me.

And you are absolutely right about my commitment - I made no exceptions because there is nothing I NEED...so I thought I could skip right through this. I am still in the same place : not needing it.

I am going to pass....I could get a big bonus come January if it is on sale. If not, I have lots of lovely jackets that I love to wear and already own......

rute

Veteran

I'll be honest.. if you are looking for years for the perfect jacket, you found it and you have the money, why not????

I would not wait until January, that's for sure! The challenge only makes sense if one is with money problems or doesn't need more clothes, if you need and can, go for it!

Louise

Veteran

I'm with Rute. Perfect items rarely come up and it would be a shame to spend the next 5 years wishing you'd bought it x

Edit- you can still carry on with the challenge after getting the jacket x

April

Veteran

Tough one, Isabel. Remind me whether you are a size that's common and easy-to-find, or out on either end of the sizing bell curve? If you're a particularly small or large size, it's so unlikely that this will still be there in January. On the other hand, if you're in the middle, it might be fun to play "beat the clock," or calendar, to see if you can have your cake and eat it too.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

I hope you hang in there with us!

Also, if you do decide to keep going, don't look at the Nordstrom website. If you don't know it's there, you can't want it. Just a little piece of unsolicited advice

Dashrashi

Veteran

Eh--I'd probably buy it and commit to not wearing it until after the challenge is over. (If it were an item I'd been searching for for years, I'd be too stressed about the possibility of it selling out.)

Queen Mum

Veteran

tough one Isabel.

I'd so some self examination. Why did you commit to the challenge? What were your motivations and what did you hope to get out of it?
What are your reasons to want to buy the jacket now? Are those reasons based on reality? What will you gain or lose if you buy it now? What will you gain or lose if you wait?

Only you can decide what you want to do.

quail

How did you feel when you weren't looking at the site? Were you wondering what opportunities or perfect pieces were passing you by, or was it just that you ended up looking on a whim?

Barbara

Veteran

Isabel, this is a tough one. I, too, have been searching (in vain, it seems) for the perfect leather jacket. If I found it, I'd snatch it up in a heartbeat. But I understand your mixed feelings that the SYC commitment is a hardcore (but fun) fashionista undertaking. Get the jacket and enjoy it after your SYC stint is finished.

Isabel

Veteran

THis is tough. Thank you all for your input. I am going to give it some serious thought.

April, I am a small.

Quail, great question : I didn't feel I lacked anything.I certainly wasn't actively looking. And I wasn't even thinking of buying anything. I was just checking out some of the older posts here from the NAS sale and I saw this jacket when I linked to the site.

I think that Laura is right. I just have to not look.

The irony in all this is that I have become more streamlined everywhere in my life, I have been tossing things our and decluttering. I even promised myself no new make-up unless it was to replace something that ran out. It has been freeing in a way. It has certainly made my life more orderly. I decided to start reading more too and borrowing the books from the library.

I have to admit that I realize now I was being really egotistical , I thought I would skate through this....but this is so much more than NOT buying extraneously. It has also made me closer to my mom. She was very poor growing up and has very little ( personal things today ). She finds uses for everything, has a small carbon footprint and is one of the happiest people that I know.

As you can all tell, this is somehow transformative for me.......yet a struggle, too.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Oh Isabel, your post brought tears to my eyes - I have huge admiration for you for struggling and trying. There is beauty in the struggle. Remember that, there is beauty in the effort. How touching that it's brought you closer to your mom. There is no leather jacket in the world that can equal that experience.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

p.s. I want to beg you to stay with us and not buy the jacket, but I won't. (((hugs)))

sinead

Good luck, Isabel, in whatever you decide. I really admire the thought and commitment you're putting into this.

(And I really, really wish I hadn't looked at that jacket.... painfully gorgeous and completely out of my price range)

quail

Wow. Isabel, you are so brave to really look at yourself and so self-aware. I think this is what SYC is really about - not who can "win" by holding out the longest, but how everyone is taking a look at their habits and seeing where they come from. Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for you.

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

I don't want to be the saboteur, but if there are three big items you've been looking for, and for years, I think I'd make an exception. Heck, going 5 months and only buying 3 items? That's admirable, too. I don't know...at the end of the day, Angie's #1 rule is have fun with fashion. If that means sticking with SYC and shopping the HECK out of your closet, great. If that means making one or two exceptions (but otherwise staying with SYC), I see no shame in that. Just my .02!

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I'd go ahead and get it...you are still not making impulse buys and if it fits you and you know you'll get a lot of use from it, theres no shame in making the purchase. Put off wearing it till Jan, if you like. But Im afraid you'll really regret it if you let it pass you by...and I wouldnt count on it being available several months from now....its a truly special piece and should be exempt from the SYC challenge.....

Anonymous

Buy it

Isabel

Veteran

wow, there is so much food for thought from all of you : zapotee, I need you to raise my children : you are straightforward, decisive, few words !!!!

You all made me realize that this is not about fashion, at all. I keep thinking about what Jenava said, I made a commitment with no escape hatch !!!! I guess this leads to a bunch of what ifs for me : what if I really couldn't afford it ? What if my husband lost his job or we were wiped out in the stock market ?

This had showed me a part of myself that I haven't liked : I have been judgmental of people who have had such a hard time scaling back from lavish lifestyles. Ugggggg !

Sinead, are you less obsessed if you know it is out of your budget ? Hmmmm. Would I be ?

Can you all tell that philosophy was one of my favorite subjects...I've also read tons of behavioral economics papers and books..... but I never did well with Buddhism : you are not suppose to get attached to or desire things, they are the cause of all human suffering. Amen to that !!!! Though I NEVER saw the words "leather coat " in the holy texts. It's is a shaky "no" for now.

MNsara

Veteran

Good for you, Isabel - whatever the outcome - because you *are* reviewing your SYC reasons. Those that mattered last month still matter, and those are the reasons that are not just about fashion.

SYC is turning out to be a soul searching challenge, and you're not alone in that either. . .

taylor

Veteran

Isabel...I feel your struggle I gave in, but that doesn't mean you have to.
My children are grown, so I am not buying school clothes etc. I think a certain freedom comes when the kids are gone...for the first time it isn't about someone else .

sometimes you have to take it a moment at a time:)

for me it was about curbing my shopping habit...what it taught me was shop smarter really buy the things you love...think and mull it over, don't be an impulse buyer.. take a few days....that's what I got out of it...grateful to Laura for that:)

shana

Veteran

Isabel, I'm not a SYC'er but based on what I read & some of the thoughts that you have shared, I think you should hold strong and skip out on this. You started this challenge for a reason and you have already found affirmation & noticed positive changes in your life. I know this is essentially a shopping forum (which is why I had to step away totally during the times that I have been on a shopping ban) but in the end we are talking about clothes!! There will ALWAYS be more clothes!!

Marley

Veteran

Isabel - I appreciate your honest sharing. I think that (from what you've shared) your reasons for participating in the SYC are important - and what you are learning about yourself and others in the process should be treasured and honored. Who knows? Maybe by the end of your SYC period that leather jacket will not even be something that you desire anymore?

Sihaya

Veteran

Isabel - this is really your call. I think it goes to what many have said: your reasons for doing SYC in the first place. You're saying its because you wanted to simplify and scale down and don't *need* anything at the time. At the same time, this is a jacket you've been looking for for years. Another one may not come by for several more years. How important is it to be 100% in SYC vs. get this one item? I know for me, I did SYC because I do have an abundant wardrobe. However, if an item that I've been searching for for multiple seasons somes along, I will absolutely be getting it - like the boots in the Miz Mooz giveaway if they work.

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