I returned my Christmas gift today....

Glory

I'm sure this has been discussed before but ladies I am feeling quite bad.

My DH gave me a lovely lovely watch for Christmas (gulp). Today I returned it. It was still in the return window.
It was gorgeous in all aspects, perfect except it had a brown face.
I don't wear any brown and could not get it to work as a neutral as it really stood out.
I tried to exchange for the same watch with a black or white face but it was not available.

I kept it for 1.5 months thinking I would suck it up but in the end I just didn't wear it.

Now I will have to tell him. I hope I don't hurt his feelings.

12 years ago

Shopping

12 replies

Latest reply was from Eliza

rachylou

Veteran

Well, that's a difficult one (!!)

12 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

I don't know how long you've been married, but my husband and I have been married for decades, yet he seemed to not notice obvious things about me. I had to tell him these obvious things.

I would suggest you tell him when you are both in a good mood and chatting, like at dinner. He gave it to you not to disappoint you, but to delight you. I'm sure he'll be fine.

I hope you can get a suitable replacement.

12 years ago

April

Veteran

Yes, that's a tough one.

DH and I have an agreement that we never have to keep anything just because the other one gave it as a gift. We both have a horror of clutter and of owning anything that never gets used, so we have this understanding.

It hasn't really been tested, though, since what usually happens is that he asks for "hints" before buying gifts -- which is to say he wants to me to tell him exactly what I want and in what size. Since that makes him feel lame and me feel a little too authoritarian, sometimes I send an assortment of hints and then the surprise is which one he'll pick.

I realize that doesn't help you with how to break it to him. Is he the sort who will be deeply hurt, or will he just be relieved that you're going to get a watch you'll love and wear constantly and he won't have the pressure of trying to choose it?

12 years ago

Gigi

Veteran

This is really hard. I don't have any suggestions but just want to let you know I support you! I am not often given things for gifts, but it is difficult because I don't like having a lot of stuff, period. So most of it finds its way to Goodwill and I hope the person never asks about it.

12 years ago

Thistle

Veteran

I am not sure how hard this will be.

If DH bought me something, and I didn't like it, he would not be hurt in the slightest if I took it back and got something I did like.

I love him dearly, but sometimes, it is hard to buy a gift even for someone you love. I guarantee my DH would be clueless on color.

As a matter of fact, he would love it if I bought my own gifts only because he wants to give me what I want. He has told me repeatedly he just wants me to be happy, so if something isn't "me", he would rather me go buy something that is.

12 years ago

Stuti

Active Member

My husband won't mind if I return something he gave.
Just like thistle husband my husband wants me to buy my own gifts.
We are married for 12 years now and plenty of gift giving experience that usually I usually give him 3 options and whatever he picks is the winner. And I get the surprise since he takes over from there.

12 years ago

nancylee

Veteran

My husband is so used to me returning items that this wouldn't faze him at all! We've been together for almost 30 years, and he knows how picky I am. This all started back in the days when money was tight, and I wanted to be sure it was spent on something I really wanted rather than wasted on something that I wouldn't wear or use….and it's just become habit now.

Stuti seems to have a good solution for getting something you know you'd like but still letting DH choose it. I've done variations on this, too. I know it takes some of the fun out of gift giving, but it does work.

12 years ago

Anonymous

Have you heard of the book the 5 love languages? One of the languages is "gifts". If your husband's love language is gifts he might be hurt so you might need to tread carefully.

My daughter would be devastated if I returned a gift of hers, my husband not so much. I want people to return my gifts if they don't work for them because I just cannot stand the idea of adding to someone else's clutter.

How sweet of you to be thinking this through! I need to remember my husbands feelings more often.

12 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I did this with my 35th birthday gift. But I explained it just wasn't me pretty much up front. He had bought me handmade artisan jewelry from New Orleans, where we vacation frequently. It was a cat, which was a good choice, but the scale was just so large on me. Since he had bought it from the artisan himself, I couldn't very well return it on the sly or anything lol. He didn't seem hurt. Hey, now that I think about it, I never got a replacement gift! ha ha

12 years ago

Anonymous

It probably depends on how much thought and effort he put into choosing the watch for you. I've learned not to return my husbands gifts. He gets discouraged.

12 years ago

cuffcat

Active Member

Hope it goes well for you. Maybe you could pick a new watch together?

12 years ago

Eliza

Veteran

My husband does want to create delight with a gift, and often hits the mark. If he misses it, I am pragmatic about not wanting to keep something that doesn't work and won't be used. I am not critical and if there is a bit more sensitivity than usual, I am apt to focus on what was right, own the pickiness, limited color wardrobe, etc. and any other reason as to why it didn't work, as some of my preferences are highly nuanced from most people's points of view.

If I know something will be hard to find, we will often shop together. In fact, we went watch shopping in December. Much to his chagrin, I didn't find the right one, though we got close. I like him to see that even I can't always hit the mark and that I am happier waiting for the right thing than just having something to open on a specific date.

Good luck!

12 years ago

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