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I just want to say I admire anyone building a new house.

Debbie

Veteran

My husband and I are putting a sunroom on our house. Our patio cover was falling down due to age and weather damage. We decided to replace and close it in. We may never survive this process. We have argued about every thing from windows and doors to flooring and wall covering and now paint. An entire house. We wouldn't make it. Anyone undertaking this I really admire you.

Furnishing it should be a real joy at the rate we're going.

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16 replies

Latest reply was from abc

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Debbie, your post is so timely and soothing for my wounded house-building soul.

You will survive, trust me And you will spend many happy hours in your beautiful new space.

But, it is a mess, I know. We did the same back in England, our patio did not take the weather very well, so we had a sunroom built. It's called a conservatory in England. It was relatively straightforward process.

After the first winter my husband noticed a crack in the base wall. We had several visits inspecting it all (thankfully, all still under a guarantee) and long story short the builder had forgotten to put some reinforcement in that corner, so there was sliding and consequent cracking.

So, they had dismantled it all, knocked the old wall down, rebuilt the new one and put the windows and glass roof up again. Nightmare. At least my boy had fun watching the builders for days

But, it was by far our favourite room in the house.

Fast forward to our current life in Germany.

Last night I had finished a long email and 3 sets of attachments describing the requests for out building company... everything down the the last socket. I dream double and triple sockets placements in the various corners by now. And for some issues we repeatedly get vague information to some our questions... not to mention cultural differences and how abrasive some communication sounds from their end, although we are the ones paying nice sum for - by the look of it - the privilege of pouring even more money in the whole thing...

Tonight, via email, we were given a slap on our fingers because we were 'late' with some correspondence (they were late with communicating the deadline)... we still have one email to answer and several products to research for the additional equipment and it's almost midnight here (we took a break to recharge)... need I go on?

Yes, it is tough stuff. I am stretched beyond my limits. And reading your post made me smile and recharge. Thank you. And wishing you all the joy in furnishing it and spending many happy hours there.

p.s.
Attaching the photo of our old conservatory

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Raisin

Veteran

Yikes! We are still considering building a house next Spring...you guys are making me scared!

PS - beautiful Conservatory, Ornella!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*chuckle*

You crack me up, Debs. And I don't have building or renovatinon DNA either. I do admire those who do! Hang in there. xo

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Rae, for one you'll build it using the language COMMON for both you and your builders. Makes a world of difference.

For us, something gets lost in translation, something in cultural differences, something in pure incompetence and the rest... I don't know. But we plod along somehow.

And by the time of your build, I'll know every stage of the process so well I will happily offer my support

Thanks, btw... yes, it WAS a beautiful space.

Debbie

Veteran

Ornella I love your Conservatory in your old house. I am glad my post was timely and you have made me believe I will survive. I can't imagine having to deal with this process with a language barrier.

Rae just know there will be headaches on things you never thought about and you will be fine.

Raisin

Veteran

Well we are still on the fence as to whether we will even go ahead, but we are so sick of the issues with the current house, that I think we are slipping over to the building side of the fence. But you'r right Ornella, a common language would make a HUGE difference! I don't know how you manage! We do however, have a very good builder lined up. We have at least had a lot of time to do our homework on that. And he's currently building just up the street from us, so we're getting a front row seat to how he works! He gets nothing but praise though, so I think if we DO go ahead, he will make a world of difference in the whole process. I will be picking your brain though, Ornella!

Kim

Veteran

Building a house "together" or going on the Amazing Race Show are the top two things I do NOT want to do with my hubby, cause I love him a lot and want to stay married to him...I fear either of the above might just do us in. LOL

Maybe you could go away on a little trip and come home when it's done?

MsMary

Veteran

I feel for you, Debbie! Mr. K and I did more than a few big projects and they were always painful!

I finally figured out that I really needed to stand my ground because he cared far more about winning each and every argument in the moment than he cared about the ultimate outcome. I, on the other hand, hated arguing but I really, really, REALLY cared about the decisions that were made. So I was far happier when I learned to tolerate the momentary discomfort to stand my ground and insist on what I knew were the right choices.

Heh. So when I get the house in the divorce, it will have mostly the finishes I like.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Ornella reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves. There were times when it would take close to 2 months to get a cost estimate for an upgrade and then I would be given less than 24 hours to sign and return the change order if I wanted it incorporated.

Debbie

Veteran

Exactly Dianthus. Of all things the shingles they had to replace we're not the same color as the ones on the house. I don't mean just newer looking completely the wrong color. They were going put them on anyway. I had to throw a stomping fit.
Tonight I won the argument on the paint color with my DH.

Debbie

Veteran

MaryK -I totally understand what you are saying. My DH cares about the outcome but a friend of his did this same remodel about a year ago and he is dishing out advice right and left. I do not want the same flooring etc that they have. What they have fits their house not mine. It will be great when its finished.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Oh I hear you Debbie! When we had our kitchen gutted and renovated about 6 years ago, it's a wonder someone didn't get hurt! You'll survive though and it will totally be worth it when you're sitting in your beautiful sunroom.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

We are building deck now...I feel the pain entirely!

This too shall pass...eventually

Usually my arguments with hubby go like this:

I: I think we should do A instead of B
DH: you are crazy, it will never work. We are doing B!
I: whatever
.... next day
I: Honey, I think we should do A because of X and Y.
DH: well, I don't know, I am not sure how it will look.
I:
--- week later
DH: I think we should do A after all
I: are you sure? Maybe it will not work? How about B?
DH: Don't worry, I have it all figured out. We are doing A!
I: whatever you say, darling!

Kim

Veteran

Sveta uses my tactics...Give an idea, get told it won't work. Let the idea sit for a few weeks. Soon the man thinks it's HIS idea and suddenly it can't be better...Resist the urge to say "I told you so" so that the tactic will work again another day...

Better to not get the credit than not get what I want in the house...LOL

AviaMariah

Veteran

We have remodeled 4 houses during our 15 years of marriage. It can be a real nightmare and I put it up there as one my greatest accomplishments that we survived. The house we are moving into now is only 10 years old and is move in ready. Hallelujah!!

abc

Veteran

I am going to favorite this thread, because hopefully in about a year we will be building a house. Like Ornella it will be in a different country so I might need to read this when the time comes and know who I can commiserate with!