This feels very frivolous right now considering what's going on in America these days. I do realize that this is total first world problems and absolute white privilege, to be having a whole THING about getting dressed this morning. However, when I've been overwhelmed or sad or afraid over these last few years, YLF has been my dose of normalcy and a great source of support so here I am whining about something frivolous in the midst of a world gone stark raving mad.

I'm off work today, and the news is overwhelming. Coronacooties. George Floyd. Journalists under attack. Worrying about my friend Reshaud, reading LaDonna's pain, reading about ways to be part of the solution and feeling that no matter what I do it just isn't ENOUGH. I felt despair and hopelessness and fear.

My wardrobe is my armor. Has been for a long time. It can reflect my desire to be left alone by wearing leather leggings, stilettos, and a Rick Owens sweater. It can be a way to feel like I'm being respectful, like when Angie and YLF helped me get dressed for my sister's wedding. And it can feel like a light and luxurious way to "just be" after a long day slinging heavy crates of produce at work, with airy pajama bottoms, silk cami, and Dior Monsieur pajama shirt.

Today, I couldn't decide what on earth to wear. I'm bored with athleisure after all these endless weeks of sheltering in place except when I'm at work. I'm bored with bland work clothes. I'm bored with jeans and a tshirt. I wanted to wear an OUTFIT, I wanted to feel like there was some REASON to dress up (even though all I was doing was a 12 step meeting and the laundromat). I wanted to feel "normal". And I couldn't make an outfit. I have all these great tops and jeans and pants and shoes, and I couldn't make outfit. I'd decide on a pair of pants and think about tops to go with, but couldn't decide on shoes because I need a pedicure. I'd decide on a top and consider shoes but couldn't think of any pants I wanted to wear. I was really confused, and I even did a mini purge of my closet because I was struggling so much to get dressed. I have forgotten how to get dressed.

I finally walked away for a while. When I went back to my room to get dressed, I quit trying to think about it and I just felt my way through it. I saw my new Joie shirt, and it called to me. I love the cut, i love the color and sheen, the fabric has a very nice hand, it seems like a pajama top, and I like the way I look in it. I grabbed my pale grey AG legging jeans because comfortable. I then sat down next to my shoes and realized that my Naturalizer loafers FELT right, so: top, check; pants, check; shoes, check. I started putting on makeup, and realized that the neckline needed something so I looked at my necklaces and my fake Pearl's just seemed perfect. In the end, I was content with my outfit and had a great 12 step meeting before I tackled the mountain of laundry.

Currently, I need to finish putting away laundry (mostly bland work clothes, ugh), cleaning up the mess from my failed attempts to make outfit, and deal with the pile that got purged. I think I'll take the garments to the consignment shop, but I've got to acquire some hangers first because I am not giving up my screaming pink flocked slimline hangers LOL

Pics of the end result attached. Thanks for reading my whining about my first world white privilege problem
XOXO