I Got Offered a Job...

chewyspaghetti

I got offered a part time tutoring position at school in the math lab, and I can't even enjoy it because a friend of mine posted something on FB that turned into a huge and heated debate where he is denying the systematic sexism in our country. It just makes me sick to my stomach....

9 years ago

Off Topic

26 replies

Latest reply was from Ledonna N.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh -- that is so frustrating, but also -- so great about the job offer!

9 years ago

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Great news about the tutoring position. A wonderful acknowledgement of how well you are doing in school.
The other-UGH.
Please try and separate the two, so that you can enjoy the good news.

9 years ago

Jane

Veteran

Congratulations on the new job.

I hope the FB thread settles down. It's a tough topic to discuss in any forum. I feel for you.

9 years ago

Style Fan

Veteran

Great news about the job offer. I hope you can enjoy it despite the FB thread. That topic is one that never seems to have an end. Along with a few others.

9 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I had to step away from the thread when it turned into womens rights=slutty baby killers. (Yes, seriously)
*sigh*
I really am happy about the job, even though it's only part time and I won't start for a few months.

9 years ago

Anonymous

This is why I stay off Facebook. Too much trash talk and nonsense.

Congrats on the job! Something to look forward to and focus on. Teachers and tutors rule!

9 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Congrats!

Things like systemic prejudice are really hard to observe and hard to understand. There is a former NJ lieutenant governor who started this Asian political action committee, born in Taiwan. His issue was ending affirmative action. We had an email conversation. He was having a hard time getting people to donate, become members. He never got it. I don't think he understood this wasn't 'ancient history,' dead and gone. I told him the US has a history and you have to join the narrative. We have obligations and reparations and sacrifices to make as one citizen for another. And this is a big one. Maybe he doesn't get told to sit at the back of the bus and he's never told others - but that doesn't mean he has nothing to with it. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Why should anyone do anything for Asians, besides, if they're not gonna help others? People forget: they're coming for you next.

9 years ago

kkards

Veteran

Big YEAH on the job offer!

as for the other.....some people just don't get it...and others just don't want to....if this "friend" is part of the 1st, you can have a conversation, if they are part of the 2nd...well IMO they aren't a friend, but are just someone you know, and i'd move on...

9 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

You know, I normally don't get involved in FB discussions....political or otherwise. I consider the man who posted this a friend- he is the band-leader for the band my bf is in and we see each other on a regular basis. In fact, I will see him Saturday at their gig. I don't think that I can look at him the same anymore. He literally told me that I was "wrong" that systematic repression causes women to enter lower paid careers....because most of the women he knows make more money than he does. It's not Facebook that has me so upset....it's the world we live in. I knew he and I did not agree on womens rights, but I did not think that he was so adamantly clueless. I don't normally drink, but I may have to have a couple before I can be in the same room as him.

9 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Problem is, they probably do... the women he knows make more money than him. So he's not in a position to see. The sample size is too small.
as well.

Re. The coupl'a... girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do

9 years ago

RobinF

Veteran

Why do so many people only see what is true for them? I just don't get it.

Anyway, congrats on the job! Enjoy it and don't let the FB guy ruin it for you.

9 years ago

Bijou

Veteran

Chewy it is unfortunate that you have to see him again, but it is more the situation of dealing with an unpleasant work colleague. Just take the higher ground and agree to disagree. This is a person you now know not to get close to. Congratulations on the new job. I think his particularly strong reaction may be related to seeing you moving onwards and upwards, don't let him bring you down. Your real friends are proud of your achievements and are cheering you on.

9 years ago

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Take the job. Keep educating the uneducated. Some of them it takes awhile to sink in. I had to tell some butthead friend of a friend that the women's marches were not about free stuff and that we didn't need men to pay for our tampons today.

9 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

Congrats on the job! Ignore the guy as much as possible, be polite but distant.

9 years ago

BrieN

Veteran

Congratulations on the job offer! Tutoring is important work. Have you ever read Mindset by Carol Dweck? It is excellent and perhaps helpful for you working with students who maybe be struggling for the 1st or 100th time.

9 years ago

Anonymous

Congratulations on the job. Ignore the guy's comments. He may not even know where his sexist rhetoric is coming from. Be proud of your skills and the hard work you put in to get them.

9 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Okay 1st off congratulations and how exciting for you. Choose to celebrate in anyway you see fit.

Next. I try to stay out of debates like this. It is challenging I see so many different viewpoints. I would just say take the high road.

Sometimes some people are just clueless and would not catch a clue if it hit them on the head.

8 years ago

Anonymous

Take the job and enjoy it! It's a great opportunity to help others. And try to separate yourself from the FB drama. You don't need that in your life.

8 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

Congrats! Earlier this week I saw "Hidden Figures." It was great to see women STEM whizzes portrayed in such a positive light. I have a library hold on it since I am dying to see what kind of liberties Hollywood took.

My DH has a friend who may be of similar mind as your boyfriend's band mate. Lucky for me, we are in the same physical vicinity only once or twice a year. My DH removed the guy from his news feed and it made his life a whole lot less stressful.

If a person is completely set in his ways and is not interested in listening, learning, and possibly changing, sometimes ignorance (on our part) can be bliss. I would just as soon not know the extent of a person's misogyny, racism, homophobia, ageism, ableism, etc. if I just have to see them socially on an infrequent basis. Of course, if they have a say in policy, practices, and harming the people I love, that's another basis.

8 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Donna- he is a teacher and very influential to many young people, so its concerning.
You're right...I wish I did not know.

8 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

Many congratulations !!!!

Now the real question --what are going to wear on your first day?

8 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Haha BJ!
It's a very casual environment since the tutors are all students. By the time I can start working it will probably be warm, so probably jeans. I can't wait for spring!

8 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I'm so excited for you.

I would say don't worry about the young people he teaches.

These young people are so much smarter than we give them credit for.

8 years ago

tulle

Veteran

If you give yourself a break from Facebook you may be surprised at how much more time and peace of mind you have. Congratulations on the job!

8 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Congratulations on the your job ! You have already beat this guy : you are a woman who is going to be front and center breaking barriers and being a role model for the kids in the math lab ! YAY ! ( I see any woman doing something in math as HUGE step forward...)

It is unfortunate that so many people are finding out the core values of people that we call "friends" or even just acquaintances. As Aziz Ansari said, we now see the kkk in lower case letters. You can be decent and detached when you see him. In the mean time, you have set out in your own direction to fight that type of flawed thinking. The real issue for people like him is that he doesn't want people to "surpass" him...it really is a form of entitlement. If it comes up again, I would make a joke," Wow, women are beating you ? You must be doing something wrong...try harder." LOL I look at it this way, the fight for equality will move forward, with or without him. So he will just get left behind and become irrelevant. : )

Good luck and kick ass !!!!!

8 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

How is the new job going?

8 years ago

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